Chapter 76: Use Me

Hindi ako makapaniwala. Nananaginip lang ako, diba? Hindi totoo yung nakita ko na naghahalikan sila? Hindi 'to panaginip but I just wish it was. Am I that easy to replace? Kulang ba talaga ako?

I can't see myself doing it to him. I can't imagine kissing another guy after breaking up with him. Pero bakit ang dali lang para sa kanya?

Mapait akong napangiti habang umaagos pa rin ang mga luha sa mga mata. I'm tired. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of pain. Why do I always get hurt? Hindi ko ba deserve na maging masaya?

Nagiging masaya ako, pero panandalian lang. Kailan kaya ako magiging ganap na masaya? Siguro mamamatay na lang ako sa lugar na 'to na hindi ko pa nakakamit yung tunay na kaligayahan. And I don't even know if I'll be able to love again.

I suddenly remembered his words, "Space? Pagkatapos ba ng space na 'yan, tayo pa rin?" Siya naman pala yung naunang maghanap ng iba. Ang tindi ng impact sa'kin nung mga pangyayari. First, I broke up with him and second, he kissed another girl immediately.

I have questioned myself a thousand fucking times already. Ano bang problema sa'kin? Am I ugly? Am I not caring? Am I selfish? To simply put it all together, am I not enough?

I'm insecure as fuck and I hate it.

"What the hell?"

Agad akong napatayo mula sa pagkakaupo sa sahig ng buksan ni Julia ang pinto. I immediately wiped my tears and I tried to walk away but she stopped me from walking out.

"What's happening?" Boses 'yun ni Godwin na nasa labas pa ng dorm.

"I'll see you later," Sabi naman ni Julia at nakita kong tumango-tango si Godwin, tila naiintindihan siya.

Pilit akong pumiglas sa hawak ni Julia pero hindi niya 'ko hinayaan. She immediately closed the door and she took me to the couch to sit. Nagpatianod na lang ako sa kanya dahil nanghihina ako. I already feel too weak to care.

"What happened? Why are you crying?" Tunog nag-aalala ang boses niya. Hindi ko alam bakit ganito pero bumagsak na naman ang mga luha ko. Agad niya naman akong niyakap at inalo. Iyak lang ako ng iyak. "Shh, it's alright."

Ang big deal pa rin kasi sa'kin. Kahit wala na kami, sobrang sakit lang sa pakiramdam na makita sila ni Reena sa ganong ayos.

I calmed down a bit after Julia hugged me tight. Ang sakit ng mga mata ko dahil sa kakaiyak. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang idadahilan ko sa kanya.

"What happened?" Tanong niya habang hinahawakan ang magkabila kong pisngi.

"W-We b-broke up," 'Yun na lang yung dinahilan ko.

I can't tell her that I saw her brother kissing another girl after our breakup. She might confront him and I don't want her to fight with her brother. Kahit ganon na ang nangyari, ayaw ko rin namang masira yung relasyon nila sa isa't-isa kung sakali.

Nanlaki naman ang mga mata niya. "What?! Kailan pa?"

"Y-Yesterday. A-Ako yung nakipaghiwalay."

She removed her hands from my cheeks. "Bakit? I don't understand! You're each other's lifeline."

"And being the lifeline of each other is unhealthy, Julia. W-Well we... we had a fight and we couldn't contain our emotions."

Hindi ko naman maaaring sabihin sa kanya yung tungkol sa secret vault dahil sabi ni Dark ay hindi raw dapat 'to sabihin sa iba even to Julia. Kahit naman wala na kami at nasasaktan ako ngayon dahil sa kanya, hindi ko pa rin ipagkakalat ang natuklasan.

"Juls, we're unhealthy for each other and I don't want us to destroy each other in the future. I-I chose to let him go because I love him... so damn much and it hurts like hell. We're h-hurting each other too much. I don't know if you would understand me. And I know y-you might side with your brother—"

"Hey, listen to me," She held my cheeks again. "I understand. I know what you mean and I'll support you. I'm not in your position and I don't know what you feel. And I'm sorry for not being here to comfort you sooner."

I hugged her and I cried again. Hindi ko na maisip yung pag-aaway naming dalawa. Parang wala na akong pakialam 'don. All I want is for us to be okay again.

*****

"What do you want for lunch?" Tanong ni Julia.

Nakatulala lang ako dito sa living room. After what I told her about her brother and I, she didn't ask more questions. She understand that I don't want to talk about it anymore and I'm thanking her for that.

"Kahit ano na lang," Wala akong ganang kumain.

Natuyo na ang mga luha ko. Sabi ko kagabi, huling iyak ko na 'yon pero umiyak ulit ako ngayong araw. Ang galing.

"Juls, pwede bang huwag mong sabihin sa kuya mo kung ano ang nangyayari sa'kin dito?"

I don't want him to know that I'm crying because of him. I don't want him to ask anything about me kung sakali. But knowing that she kissed another girl, hindi na yata makikibalita sa'kin 'yon.

I balled my fists. Sa fountain area pa talaga. I have a lot of beautiful memories with him there and that was the place they chose to kiss? Nag-iinit ang ulo ko and I'm sure what I'm feeling right now will reflect on the skies.

Pumunta ako sa pangalawang palapag ng dorm namin ni Julia at pumasok ako sa kwarto. I then opened the window near my bed to be able to inhale fresh air.

Nag-iinit ang ulo ko and I just found myself tearing up again. The sky began to darken and droplets of rain started to pour. I reached out my hand outside the window to feel the little droplets of rain.

Ang ibang mga estudyante ay naglakad-takbo dahil umuulan na. I decided to close the window and I lay on my bed, crying.

"Come on, Zaya, stop crying. He's not worth it." Sabi ko sa sarili ko habang umiiyak. "He's..."

I tried to wipe my tears. Our beautiful memories came rushing back to me. I don't understand. He said he loves me, he even protected me. I want to hear his side of the story but there's a part of me that doesn't want to. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt but I'm scared... I'm scared of what hurtful words he'll say if ever. Natatakot akong marinig sa kanya na hindi niya na ako mahal. Hindi ko kaya.

"Zaya, you wanted this. You wanted to break up with him and this is your goddamn fault... Y-You don't have the right to cry." Sabi ko pa.

Kinalma ko ang sarili ko. Salamat naman at natigil ako sa kakaiyak kahit papaano.

"Lunch na, Zee," Ani Julia sa labas ng kwarto.

Kahit nanghihina at walang gana, tumayo pa rin ako at pumunta na sa dining area para kumain. Konti lang ang kinain ko at ang bilis kong matapos. Pinilit pa ako ni Julia na siya na lang ang maghuhugas ng pinggan para makapagpahinga na ako pero ang tigas ng ulo ko kaya wala siyang nagawa.

After I wiped my hands dry, I went back to the bedroom. I sat on my bed while looking outside the window.

What I saw earlier still keeps playing on my mind and I'm about to lose it. Sinabunutan ko ang sarili. Hindi dapat ako nagkakaganito. Kung masaya na siya ngayon, kahit ang bilis, dapat maging masaya ako para sa kanya. Dapat maging masaya rin ako para kay Reena dahil nakuha niya na yung taong gusto niya... yung taong mahal na mahal niya.

My heart hurt again. Fuck this. Hindi ko kaya. Ang sakit.

I stood up and took a quick bath. I then wore an above-the-knee turtleneck dress. It has long sleeves and it's also body-hugging. It's one of my clothes that are made of wool. Napag-isipan ko lang, ang tagal ko na rin yatang hindi umiinom. Siguro kailangan kong uminom ng alak ngayon.

I combed my hair and tied it up in a high ponytail. I then applied a little bit of makeup para hindi naman halata na ang tindi ng iyak ko.

When I went downstairs, Julia immediately noticed my get up. "Where are you going?"

"Diyan lang. Gusto ko lang magpahangin at mag-move on na din."

"What? Samahan na kita. Wait, I'll just—"

"Juls, I want to be alone right now. Bigay mo na sa'kin 'to." I said, almost begging.

"Baka mapano ka diyan, Zaya. Samahan na lang kita, please?"

I gave her a reassuring smile. "Kaya ko ang sarili ko. I promise, I'll be quick."

She sighed in defeat. "Okay, I trust you. Please, kung saan ka man pupunta, stay alert and don't let your guard down, you understand?"

I laughed a little. "Yes, Ma'am,"

Pagkatapos 'non ay lumabas na ako ng dorm. I sighed heavily and I smelled the air. Amoy lupa ang paligid dahil umulan nga at nabasa yung lupa.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit napag-isipan kong magsuot ng ganito ka ikling dress. Feeling ko ang ikli-ikli niya. Ngayon ko pa napag-isipan na nakalayo na ako sa dorm. Pero wala na akong magagawa at ito na ang nasuot ko.

I went inside the drinks station and a lot of students were there. Ang daming naghihiyawan habang umiinom. I'm really not comfortable since there's a lot of drunkards pero wala eh, nandito na ako and I'll just mind my own business.
Iinom lang ako ng kaunti tapos babalik na sa dorm.

"One margarita please," Sabi ko sa bartender. Agad niya naman akong binigyan. "Thanks,"

Umupo ako sa isa sa mga stool. Wala na yatang bakanteng mesa at kung dito ako uupo, mas malapit ako sa bar counter at makaka-order ako kaagad ng maiinom.

Time passed at naka-ilang lagok na ako ng margarita. Umaalon na ang paningin ko pero inom pa ako ng inom. Yes, it's better this way. Parang wala akong naiisip na iba kundi yung nilalagok ko lang. May mga lumapit na kanina sa'kin pero itinaboy ko lang sila.

"Hey, give me three bottles of Hennessy, please."

Agad naman akong napatingin sa kung sino ang nagsabi 'non. The voice is familiar. Tumingin rin sa'kin yung taong 'yun at kahit lasing na ako ay nagulat pa rin ako. Pati rin yata siya dahil nanlaki ang mga mata niya.

"Demerine, what the heck are you doing here all alone?"

"Ikaw, Selton, sabi mo sa'kin hindi ka na iinom? You promised me... ah, promises are meant to be broken nga naman." Sabi ko at mapaklang napatawa. I could really feel the effect of the cocktail I've been drinking.

"You're drunk," He said and he shook his head.

"Hindi pa, ah?" Umiling-iling naman ako at ngumiti.

His three bottles of Hennessy were placed by the bartender on the bar counter and it made a sound. Napatingin kaming dalawa 'don pero binalik niya kaagad ang tingin sa'kin. "Come on, I'll get you home."

"No, no, no!" Sabi ko sabay iling at mas nahilo pa ako.

"Why would your boyfriend let you drink like this?" I heard him whisper to himself but it was enough for me to hear.

"What? Come again? Boyfriend? Wala akong boyfriend!" Sabi ko at umiling-iling ulit at mas nahilo ako dahil 'don.

"What are you saying? Lasing ka na nga talaga na pati siya nakalimutan mo na."

I waved my hands at him. "I'm telling the truth, Selton Rage! I don't have a boyfriend right now! We already broke up."

I'm drinking right now so I could somehow forget. But here I am, talking about it again. Nandito ako ngayon para makalimot sa sakit na nararamdaman but I don't think I could escape for just a little while. I can't escape the goddamn reality for just a little while. Nilulunod ko nga ang sarili sa alak pero wala pa rin, eto pa rin ako, iniisip ang nakakasakit sa'kin.

He looks shocked by what I said. "Are you telling the truth or are you just drunk?"

"I'm telling the truth. Kahapon lang kami naghiwalay."

"But why? You're so in love with him—"

"Shh, I know. Ang tanga ko nga, eh. I even told you I can't love you because you're not him. Sorry for that." Mapakla akong napatawa ulit at nilagok ang natitirang margarita. Hindi ko na alam ang pinagsasabi ko.

"Yeah, it hurts like hell." Mapakla rin siyang napatawa at nag-iwas ng tingin saglit bago bumaling ulit sa'kin. "What did he do to you? I bet you're being like this right now because of him."

"Ting, you're right! He's the reason why I'm being like this. Bakit ang dali lang yata para sa kanya na mag-move on? Para sa'kin kasi ang hirap." I then became emotional.

"You just broke up yesterday and he already moved on? That fast? Is that what you're trying to say? How is that possible?" Hindi makapaniwala niyang saad.

"Hindi rin ako makapaniwala. Like what the fuck, paano 'yun? Sabi niya mahal niya 'ko tapos tangina, ang bilis niya akong palitan?"

Epekto na talaga 'to ng alak sa sistema ko. I'm telling Selton everything. Not that I don't trust him, but I want to keep this to myself for now. Pero dahil na nga sa alak, I'm blurting out everything. Hindi ko nga nasabi kay Julia ang ginawa ng kuya niya, kay Selton ko naman nasabi dahil sa kalasingan.

"Wait, what?" Hindi siya makapaniwala. "Last time I checked, he loves you so much."

"Di ko din alam, Selton. Kulang yata ako—"

I was startled when he held my face, making me look at him. I feel like his gray eyes are forcing their way in my soul. "When you went to my dorm, I questioned myself. I said I'm not enough but you were there to say that I am. How about you? Why do you always cheer up other people but you can't do the same to yourself?"

That hit me. Napayuko ako. I felt a little sober because of his penetrating gaze and his words. Parang natauhan ako sa sinabi niya. Yes, maybe I'm good at telling people that they're worth it but I can't even say the same thing to myself.

"Demerine, use me."

Mula sa pagkakayuko ay naibaling ko ulit sa kanya ang aking atensyon. Tila nabingi ako sa sinabi niya. "What did you just say?"

"Use me to get over him," Seryoso niyang sabi. "I don't care at all. Ayokong nakikita kang ganito."

I think I'm fully sober now. I removed his hands from my cheeks. "What the fuck are you saying, Selton? Nababaliw ka na ba?"

"Yes, I must be. But you can do crazy things for love and you know that."

He's right. You can get crazy and you can do crazy things because of love. I can relate to that. Pero yung mga pinagsasabi niya ngayon, tutol na tutol ako. How can he be so determined to do this things to me even he'll get hurt in return? Hindi ko magagawa sa kanya 'to. Hindi ko masikmura. He doesn't deserve this.

"Selton, what do you want to do? Kung sa tingin mo matututunan kitang—"

"No, it's not that. It pains me to see you like this. If only I could erase all your pain right away, I'll do it. I'll do anything. Kahit ako pa yung masaktan—"

"No way! I wouldn't allow that. I've hurt you enough. I have hurt the people around me and the last thing I want is to hurt you all again. Tama na, I've caused enough pain."

Namungay ang kanyang mga mata. "What can I do?"

I gave him a faint smile. "There's nothing you can do. This is my pain, my battle. I'll handle this myself. I want you to focus on yourself and heal."

He then he gave me a hug. I don't know why but his hug gave me warmth. It gave me comfort. He caressed my back.

*****

"Hatid na kita," Sabi ni Selton at tumango na lang ako. Parang hindi ko rin kayang pumunta sa dorm ng mag-isa. Ang lakas ng tama ko at baka mapano pa ako sa daan. Wala ako sa katinuan ngayon. "Nilalamig ka?"

Nilalamig nga ako pero umiling lang ako. Sa tingin ko naaabala ko na siya. He went to the drinks station to buy himself some liquor pero eto siya ngayon, maghahatid ng lasing.

Nagitla ako ng hawakan niya ang aking kamay. "Stop lying, you're cold."

Nagulat naman ako ng umakbay siya sa'kin. "What are you doing?"

"I don't have a jacket right now, as you can see. I'm just wearing a shirt. I hope my body heat will warm you a bit."

My heart skipped a beat because of what he said. Swerte talaga ang babaeng mamahalin ni Selton. It's just unfortunate that he fell in love with me. Pero alam ko na darating ang panahon na magmamahal siya ulit. At sa oras na 'yon, sa tamang tao na.

I was shocked when someone grabbed his collar. At nang makita ang taong 'yon, napuno ng galit ang puso ko.

"What do you thing you're doing?" Ani Dark na nanlilisik ang mga mata sa galit. "Are you taking advantage of her drunk state?!"

Agad ko naming itinulak si Dark para mapalayo siya kay Selton. Anong karapatan niya para gawin kay Selton 'yon? Wala siyang alam! "Anong ginagawa mo rito? Ang kapal ng mukha para magpakita rito!"

"Zaya, baby, what's happening?"

My heart hurt when I heard his voice. Pero mas matindi ang galit na nararamdaman ko ngayon. "Don't call me that! We already broke up!"

"I'm willing to give you the space you wanted—"

"Shut up! 'Don ka na sa Reena mo! Magsama na kayo!" Nag-iinit ang gilid ng mga mata ko. Oh no, not now please. Zaya, huwag kang umiyak. Huwag mong ipakita sa kanya kung gaano ka kahina pagdating sa kanya.

May bakas ng pagkagulat sa mukha niya. "W-What? Let me explain."

"Kahit ano pa yang eksplenasyon mo, ayoko ng marinig. We're fucking over, Dark."

"Let me explain please—"

Hinatak naman ako ni Selton at inilagay sa likod niya. "She already said she doesn't want to hear your explanation, Dark. Leave her alone."

He's trying his best to see me. I'm trying my best to hide on Selton's back to avoid his gaze. "Zaya, why are you being like this? Are you together now?"

Gusto kong mapatawa ng mapakla sa sinabi niya. Siya pa ngayon ang may ganang magsabi niyan? Parang ako pa ngayon ang may kasalanan dahil nahuli na may kasamang ibang lalake. In the first place nga, naghalikan sila ni Reena.

Bago pa ako makasagot ay mahigpit na hinawakan ni Selton ang braso ko, making me stay in place. "What if we are? What are you gonna do about it?"

Nagulat naman ako sa sinabi ni Selton ngunit mas nagulat ako ng sinuntok siya ni Dark. Ginantihan niya naman 'to ng suntok kaya nakawala ako sa pagkakahawak niya.

Susuntukin sana siya ulit ni Dark pero agad kong pinigilan. "That's enough! Dark, umalis ka na."

I saw the glint of pain in his eyes but I immediately avoided his gaze. "Let's talk please,"

"Wala na tayong dapat na pag-usapan pa. We're over. Ilang beses ko bang dapat ipamukha sayo 'yon? 'Don ka na kay Reena." I feel like thousand pieces of knives pierced through my heart. Ang sakit pa rin talaga. Sobra.

Agad akong hinatak ni Selton at naglakad na kami palayo. I didn't look back. I don't want to see his face. Maybe I should've let him explain. Maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt pero ayoko na siyang makita. Mas nasasaktan ako kapag nakikita siya.

When we arrived at the dorm, I tried my best to give Selton a smile. "I-I'm sorry,"

He smiled back at me but it didn't reach his eyes. "It's okay. It's not your fault, it's his. Ang lakas ng loob ng gagong 'yon na magpakita sayo."

"I'm really sorry, Selton. Naabala kita ng sobra-sobra." Yumuko ako.

I was startled when he cupped my face, again, making me look him in the eyes. "Listen, I'm always here, okay? I don't want you to be in pain and if I could help you in any way possible, tell me. My door is always open for you."

I can't believe this guy has a cruel mother. He's an angel.

I just nodded and smiled again. He then let go of me. "Thank you,"

"Always welcome, Demerine. Goodnight." He said. "I'll leave after you go inside."

I then opened the front door of the dorm and I went inside. Before closing it, I mouthed 'thank you'. He just gave me a sweet smile and he turned his back and walked away.

I sighed heavily. My head is spinning so bad. When I entered the bedroom, Julia was sitting on her bed.

Nagulat siya ng makita ako. "Ayos ka lang?"

"Yes," Tipid kong sagot at tinignan ang orasan. It's past six already.

"Kumain ka na," She said and she went to me. "Sigurado ka bang ayos ka lang? You always lie to me about what you feel."

Bumuntong-hininga ulit ako. "I want to ask a favor,"

"What is it? I'm all ears."

"If ever your brother wants to talk to me, can you... can you stop him? Sabihin mo sa kanya ayaw ko siyang kausapin."

This time, she's the one who sighed. "Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari sa inyong dalawa pero sige. But whatever your issues are, can you at least give him the benefit of the doubt?"

I've thought of that already. "I just don't want to talk to him. I need time to think."

"Okay, fine. Kumain ka na."

"Wala akong gana," Sabi ko at mabilis akong pumunta sa banyo para magduwal. I drank a lot.

Hinagod naman ni Julia ang likod ko. "You need to take a bath and rest,"

I just nodded and got my towel and new clothes. I took a long bath in the bathtub. I always find relaxation whenever I'm in the bathtub but I couldn't find relaxation at this point. I just felt my tears streaming down my cheeks. I hate how he has this effect on me after what I've witnessed earlier. Yung makita ko lang siya ulit, dumudoble ang sakit na nararamdaman ko.

Niloloko ka lang niya, Zaya, he isn't hurt at all. It was all an act. Maybe... maybe he finds me as a competition he needs to win dahil nakita niya kaming magkasama ni Selton.

I cried my eyes out. How dare he show up like that? Masyado niya na 'kong sinasaktan. Ayoko na. I'm tired of this pain.

When I decided to get out of the bathroom after I wore my clothes, I immediately lay down my bed. I think it's still early for me to sleep pero wala akong pakialam. Gusto ko na lang itulog ang lahat ng 'to and I'm hoping that all the pain will disappear when I wake up, o pwede namang hindi na lang ako magising.

But I woke up the next morning with a fucking hangover. My head is throbbing so bad that I want to slam it against the wall. I recalled what happened last night at para yatang dumoble ang sakit ng ulo ko. I feel bad for Selton. He didn't deserve to be punched like that.

Even though I don't want to stand up, I did. Parang matutumba pa ako dahil sa sobrang sakit ng ulo. A glass of water and medicine caught my attention. It's on my bedside table. I immediately swallowed the medicine and drank the water.

I checked the time and it's already nine in the morning! Plano ko pa sanang pumasok sa mga klase ko pero malabo na yata. I already missed two classes, I guess. Tapos ang sakit-sakit pa ng ulo ko. But hopefully, this headache would die down since I already took the medicine.

Nagulat ako ng makita si Julia sa kusina. "Ba't di ka pumasok?"

Agad naman siyang napaharap sa'kin na may bakas ng pag-aalala sa mukha. "I can't leave you like this,"

"Juls, I can handle myself. You should've just attended the classes." I said and I smiled to prove that I'm alright by myself.

"Your smile is full of pain,"

My smile immediately disappeared. I made myself some hot choco and I sat on the dining table. Umupo rin siya sa tapat ko.

"Uhh, Zee," Nag-aalinlangan niyang sabi.

Kumunot naman ang nuo ko. "What's the matter?"

"W-Well you probably think I was the one who gave you the glass of water and the medicine,"

Hindi siya? Agad namang napuno ng galit ang puso ko. I think I know who. "Did you let him in here?"

Umiling-iling naman siya agad. "No, of course not. Nang magising ako, nandyan na 'yon."

"What?! D-Did he barge in here again just like last time?"

Memories then came rushing back to me. Yung akala ko si Julia ang nagluto ng chicken soup at nag-iwan ng gamot para sa'kin. 'Yun pala ay si Dark. And now, I'm one hundred percent sure it's him. He knows his way here pretty well and he has done this before.

My heart hurt with the thought of it. Wala na kami pero ba't ganito ang ipinapakita niya sa'kin? Is this how you treat your ex? Why is he still caring even though he already has someone new? And my heart hurt even more.

Mababaliw na yata ako sa kakaisip. Ang dami kong tanong. At alam ko kung paano masasagot ang mga tanong kong 'to... I have to talk to him and I'm not brave enough to do so. Gusto niya akong kausapin and somehow, gusto ko rin naman siyang pakinggan pero natatakot ako. Naduduwag ako. What if I wouldn't like his explanation? What if ipapamukha niya sa'kin kung gaano ako ka kulang?

Napahilamos ako sa mukha ko. Tadhana lang ang may alam. I'll let it do the job.

Napagdesisyunan kong mamayang hapon na lang papasok sa klase. Ganon din si Julia. She made breakfast for us at parang lutang ako habang kumakain. I'm thinking of all the things that had happened lately. Parang wala akong maayos na tulog at parati akong umiiyak.

Time passed by so quickly at ala una na ng hapon. Julia and I are currently walking our way to the first period class. Napahinto naman kaming dalawa sa paglalakad ng may naka-cloak na tumambad sa harapan namin.

"Sorry to disturb, Miss Julia, but Madame wants you in her office now. Please come with me."

Parang ayaw naman ni Julia pero wala siyang choice. She sighed and looked at me. I just nodded at her and smiled so she'll know that it's fine. Ano na naman kaya ang kailangan ni Madame sa kanya?

Habang naglalakad, nagitla ako ng may humatak sa'kin. Agad naman akong kumawala. "What's your problem?"

Nanlaki naman ang mga mata ko ng nakita kung sino 'yon. It's Reena. She gave me a smirk. "Well, hello, Zaya."

"What do you want?" I tried to sound firm but deep inside, I'm already hurting. Here she is in front of me, smirking like she just hit the jackpot.

"I'm so sorry for your break up. I hope you'll get over it." She said, not apologetic at all. "I bet you saw me and Dark kissing."

I'm trying my best to stay calm. Sabihin na natin na nasa kanya na yung taong mahal niya, can she just stop shoving it to my fucking face? Masakit 'to para sa'kin.

"So what, Reena? Can you just stop shoving it to my face? Are you trying to hurt me?"

She sarcastically laughed. "So, inaamin mo na nasasaktan ka? Mahal mo pa siya?"

Hindi naman ako makaimik. Hindi ko naman masabi na hindi ko na siya mahal. Harap-harapan kong sinabi na nasasaktan ako!

"Pero hindi na importante yung nararamdaman mo. You hurt him. You broke him into pieces and I'm the one who'll fix him. Kaya kung napag-iisipan mong balikan siya, huwag na. He's already moving on from you. Hindi ka na niya kailangan. Ako ang nararapat sa kanya."

You heard it all, Zaya. Loud and clear. He's already moving on from you. He's moving on with someone knew.

Parang sinaksak ng punyal ang puso ko ng paulit-ulit. Bakit ganon lang kadali para kay Dark ang lahat ng 'to? At paano nagagawa ni Reena sa'kin 'to? Tao lang ako, may damdamin din. Bakit kailangan niyang ipamukha sa'kin ang lahat ng ito? Nasa kanya na yung taong mahal niya, hindi niya na kailangang gawin 'to.

I tried to smile. "Make him happy,"

After I said those words, I walked away, tears streaming down my face.

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