Chapter 13
Warning: Self abuse
Brace urself for some vhope moments! *wink*wink*
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Jhope's POV
Empty
That's what I feel these days. Ever since Taehyung's dead, I can't think straight. Sometimes Im silent & scared. Sometimes Im calm & smart.
All I ever thought is how it's all my fault that my best friend is dead. No, just a friend. I don't deserve to be his best friend. Im a bad best friend.
'U are worthless! Pathetic! U are just a burden to everyone.'
That voice keeps on haunting me & I keep listen to it. I don't know when I start to cut lines on my arms. It's painful but I feel better.
'It's ur fault that Taehyung dies! It's u to blame when Jin is dead!'
It's true. I saw how Jin hyung dead. But I didn't do anything about it. Im such a coward. That result of more cuts.
Cut...
Cut....
Cut......
Why didn't I just kill myself, u ask? Oh cuz it's the killer's job. The killer always kills cruelly. That's why I decide to wait for my turn to die. That way I can finally rest in peace. Or not.
After we burried Jin hyung, I decide to make breakfast for everyone. As we eat (most of us eat forcely cuz don't have any appetite), Jungkook asks me why I always wear long sleeve shirt. I almost fail to answer him. Stupid me.
Cut
Cut
Cut
The rest of the day, I spend in my bedroom thinking about Taehyung & when will I die. I mean, why the killer take it so long? Or maybe he's planning something cruel for me. I hope it is. I fell asleep thinking those thoughts.
*****
"Hoseok"
The voice. No it can't be. It's not...
"Taehyung!"
The figure smile at me.
"That's right Hoseokkie."
"W-what is this?"
"This is a dream."
"A dream?.." I sigh in sadness.
"Hey, hey. No sighing. Where's my happy go lucky best friend goes?"
"He's gone with u... Taehyung, Im sorry. It is because of me that u died. I--"
"Shhh... It's okay. It's my choice to die anyway."
"But--"
"No buts. Now let's play together!"
I smile & nod.
*****
Jungkook's POV
Ever since Jin hyung's death, Jhope hyung is being blank. Today he just stare blankly at space. It starts to worry all of us. Does he can't accept Jin hyung's dead?
It getting night & Jhope hyung excuses himself to his bedroom to sleep. I feel relief that he knows he need some sleep. He's looking tired & worn out. Well, all of us are. But he's the worst. I hope he's feeling better tomorrow.
Jhope's POV
It's night time! I can't wait to see Taehyung! So I sleep...
***
"Taehyunggie!"
"Hm?"
"I miss u."
It's just a day, silly."
"U know what I mean. It's weird without u."
We keep on playing until we are tired. That's when I remember something...
"Oh..."
"What is it?"
"I forgot to cut myself today."
Yep, cutting myself has been my daily routine.
"Then go cut urself later."
"Oh?"
"The first thing u do in the morning is cut urself."
"That's a great idea, Taehyunggie!"
He smiles, "The more u cut, the better."
*****
And that's what I do the next day.
Cut
Cut
Cut
But I don't feel satisfied with it.
'Maybe I should cut my stomach. Yep! Taehyung will be happy with it!'
After cutting a few times at my stomach, I finally feel satisfied & content. I finish cleaning the bloods & wearing my long sleeve shirt when Namjoon hyung opens the door, saying breakfast is ready.
I smile at him while following him to the dining room.
"So what do we do today?" I asks.
"L.joe & Chunji are planning to investigate V's death. So let's follow them."
My heart drop as I remember V is dead. But I just smile fakely at them.
"Okay."
Jungkook's POV
Jhope hyung is getting better today. Im glad. No more depress Jhope.
Tyra tells me hyung is hiding something. Okay, whaaaaat? Nah, Tyra is kidding. Jhope hyung won't hide anything from us.
I also happy the he agrees to go investigate V hyung's dead. It shows that he's accepting V hyung's dead. As we walk I heard Chunji & L.joe talking from behind.
"Is it just me or Jhope is too giddy & happy today?" Chunji said.
"I know, right? It's weird. Why is he happy that we are investigating V's death?"
"Is he the killer??"
Both of them shut their mouth as I glare at them. Why can't they just see Hoseok hyung happy? It's good that there's no more depressing people among us so why are they judging him??
Jhope's POV
At last, we are entering the place where Taehyung died. I start to feel dizzy as I remember how we found him here, dead.
Jungkook holds me, "Hyung, u okay?"
I nod slowly as I get back to my sense. I decide to sit down on a chair to calm my racing heart. The others are searching for clues.
That's when I see him. Taehyung waving happily at me from the window.
Jungkook's POV
We are searching for clues when we heard a thump sound. That's when I see Jhope hyung lying on the ground. He can't stop shaken.
"Hoseok hyung!" I shouts.
"He's having a panic attack!" Jimin said.
Namjoon hyung then carries Jhope hyung to his bedroom. All of us follow him. Namjoon hyung is putting Jhope hyung to his bed when we arrived.
"Quick! Find his pills!" He instruct us.
We all begin to search around the bedroom. I search in a small bag beside hyung's bed. I see his pills &... blades?! I quickly give the pills to Namjoon hyung.
Namjoon hyung quickly put a pill in Jhope hyung's mouth. Hyung swallows it with water. At last, he stop shaking & fell asleep.
Jhope's POV
"V, am I seeing things?"
He giggles, "Well..."
"I see u waving at the window. Is that u?"
He nods cutely, "Yep, that's me! Don't u like my surprise?" he pouts.
"Nonono, Taehyunggie. I like it. But don't u surprise me like that anymore. U giving me a panic attack!"
He laughs, "Okay!"
*****
I open my eyes to see Im in my bed. I sigh in relief. I turn to my right to see Jungkook looking at me with a hard face.
"Hyung what is this?" He show me my small bag that keeps the blades.
I quickily grab it from him, "It's nothing."
"Really? Why are the blades in here??" Jungkook shouts, startles me.
"It's none of ur business! Get out!"
He looks at me with a disappointed face before goes out. Im so careless. Now he knows my secret.
Cut
Cut
Cut
*****
"Hoppie, Im lonely...."
"But Im here with u every night."
"It's not the same! I can't touch u, I can't feel u & we just see each other at night!"
"Then what do u want me to do?"
"Kill urself."
"Wha--"
"Kill urself like me. Please~ For me~~"
I gulp. I actually scared to die. That's why I can't kill myself even if I try.
"I-I can't--"
"Why not?? Im willing to die because of u! Why can't u do the same for me??"
"Taehyung--"
"I HATE U!!"
*****
I open my eyes to feel something choking me, more like someone...
"Tae-taehyung!" I manage to croak out.
He looks at me with red eyes. This is not the Taehyung that I know. I didn't notice that Im crying.
"T-Tae-hyung stop! Please!"
"Nope. U are going with me."
"No! S-stop it!!"
"Do u want me to forgive u??" that sentence makes me froze.
"So just let me kill u. Im lonely there. I need u by my side, chingu ah..."
I slowly breath in & nod, giving the green light for Taehyung to kill me.
"Go on. K-kill me."
He smiles at me. I hear a gasp before I feel light. At last Im free...
"I miss u, Hoseokkie."
"I miss u too, Taehyunggie..."
Chunji's POV
Im thirsty tonight so I go to the kitchen. I heard chocking sound so I check it out. It's Jhope's room.
I open the door slightly to see Jhope chocking himself. He is looking at the ceiling with mouth gasping for air.
I gasp in shock. That's when Jhope stops moving. His hands are completely stop. Now he's lifeless. I... I dunno what to do that I shout for help.
Jungkook's POV
I was awake when I heard the scream for help. It's Chunji. I quickly go outside to see Chunji outside Jhope hyung's room.
L.joe is there, calming Chunji down. He keeps on looking inside hyung's room. It increase my curiousty. Is something happened to hyung?!
I quickly go inside the room to see hyung's lifeless body. Namjoon hyung & Jimin hyung are beside me.
It seems like hyung is choking himself to death. I can see lines of scars & wounds at his arms. I touch it.
I see flashbacks of Hoseok hyung cutting himself. It's true... All this time, Hoseok hyung is hurting himself... I... I can't believe it.... Tears keeps on streaming my face.
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@Lilipopgurl99.
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