Friday, June 12 1981

Tomorrow is the last gig, thankfully. They don't say it but they're spent, I know them all too well. Mick begins to nag, Topper disappears, Paul complains about Mick and Joe lays quietly with scraps of paper. On them you can see his inspiration mixed with frustration, he's been writing on the same envelope going round its edges for about an hour. I've been observing him all the while, he is too radiant.
I understand why people sometimes wish to murder their lovers, it is the only way in which you can possess someone. I could not imagine him being with anybody else, I could not stand the possibility.
My vile thought is interrupted when at last his eyes pull away with excitement and he jumps up to call Paul in the room next door.

"It's near midnight" I say as he dials. He glances at the clock with the phone against his ear, "Paul get over here, I've got a new song...yes right now. No. Just come over."
"Was he asleep?" I ask when he hangs up, he nods rubbing the back of is neck, it probably aches from looking down for so long.
I laugh slightly, "you're exhausted."
"No, it's just, my head kinda hurts."
"Maybe cause you never stop working."
"There's just so many things to get done."
"Yeah but, you're still taking a month off for holiday when we get back."
"Where the fuck is Paul?"
"Don't change the subject."
"You can't tell me what to do."
I scoff, "I already did."
He glares at me with slight contempt which only makes me laugh. He's always tried to be the dominant one but we both know who is in charge.

Paul finally appears, wearily in leather pants that he must've picked from the floor of his room, rubbing his eyes he examines closely the writing in capital letters that filled the envelope. He looks up dazed, half-yawning, "wots it about?"
I giggle, Joe takes the paper from him, "you're an idiot."
Paul drops himself with eyes closed on the bed next to me, "I'm fucking tired, you lot never sleep but I do!"
"Then get the fuck out of here" exclaims Joe. Paul ignores him.
"Let me see" I say getting off the bed to read the lyrics, I was dying with curiosity.
As I stand trying to decipher them Joe drifts to the side of the bed where I had been. When I turn both him and Paul are in a deep slumber, I smile to myself, I know them all too well.

I turn off the light and meticulously lay between the two with my arms wrapped around Joe, my head on his chest.