Being insecure will never be a good trait. Because even if you had friends that truly cared for you, you would constantly believed that they really secretly hate you, and only tolerated you until you got the hint that they actually never liked you. Because even with now-happy parents, the nightmare's of their hectic fights would never leave your mind. Because even with good grades, you would still believe you are doomed to never be successful in life and that you would fail all tests that would come your way. Because even with the luxury of three meals per day, you only ate one or else you'd be considered fat. Because even doing the best of your abilities, will never satisfy nor be good for anyone, ever. Because this is how society is.

And falling in love, with so many insecurities, would be the death of you. Because you are consistently nagged with taunting thoughts of 'what if's. What if you aren't living up to their standards? What if you aren't good enough for them? Maybe they only thought of you as a mere obstacle in their glorious life. You could've been only a line in their novel, while they took up over dozen's of chapter on yours. You of all people, never deserved them. You of all people, should know it was impossible to ever gain their attention, and to have their eyes gaze into your own.

Love and hate are both powerful emotions. Both polar opposites, yet so similar. They both drove you to act in ways you could never have with any other feelings. They both hold an intensity that courses through your veins, and makes you take action, sometimes involuntarily. Love and hate are both powerful emotions, but love will always be stronger. For positivity will always be stronger than negativity. For positivity can make you bring about change, and the desire to become someone better for the world. And as for negativity, it brings about influence, and the desire to make everyone suffer as you've had. Love and hate, how could you possibly feel both of the feelings for them?

Love; the way they smiled, and brightened up your day. The way they laughed, and warmed up your heart. The way they made you melt with every unintentional fleeting touch. The way your heart nearly leapt out of your chest when you made eye contact in the hallways. But you knew none of that was really directed to you. And your delusional fantasies made you feel much like a desperate loser. And even with all the insecurities that clogged your mind, and refuses to flush, a part of you was still convinced they loved you back.

But of course, like you've said before, it was all a delusional fantasy. And it was only your heart that craved for human love after being neglected from it for so long that it decided to create a believable illusion that became the death of you. It mourned for the lover's touch, that was meant to heal every wound. And it weeped every night, as it was unable to achieve it.

You hated them for that. You hated them for inducing you with self-depreciation thoughts, just by never looking in your way. You hated them for increasing your anxiety, just by blandly ignoring your existence, like a little child that forever neglected their old toys after newer ones replaced it. And you began to hate them more so, for when they began influencing others— even your closest friends to turn against you, until it felt like it was only you against the world. It was a burden someone like you should never have to consume. You hated them, because back then, you thought you were both the best of friends, and could completely trust one another. You hated them because instead of waiting for you to turn your back, they looked you dead in the eye before driving the knife into your heart. You hated them, but you still loved them.

And that was the death of you.

At the end of the day, in the darkest of nights, the tears that drip from your heart drip from your eyes as you cried away all the built up sorrow. And your love that bled for them now bled out of your wrists, and onto the washroom floors. And in this moment, your troubled thoughts fade away. And in this moment, your distorted feelings blend away. And all that is left, is the shell of a lost being. Lonely, and numb.

Never to be seen again.