As soon as his head hit the bed and he went to sleep, he was instantly plagued with nightmares. They had been getting better. Even if the haunted look never left them alone, he knew that this night would be worse. But this- could the gods be cruel enough to show him Ann-no, he was not yet ready to talk about her, in his nightmares. Could he just not have one night of peace. 

It was as if, he had not suffered enough. All of them had- his friends, other demigods- only his cousin understood. But, no one- except her understood how instead of destroying monsters, he became one instead. The saddening thing was when he had done it, there was a form of guilt in his bones and that made him sick. There was a ghost of a sadistic smile upon his lips, he was sure of that. He should have known that in reality he was never scared of the monsters as he was the one. She was the one holding him back- but now, he was lost and he felt like he was walking without a specific goal in mind. Just like in the- that place.

So of course, the only thing that would happen, as a result, was the nightmares. He delved straight to the darkest part of his mind, the part he could not let anyone into- except her. But as she was gone, as much as he wanted to not put up a facade and just cry with all his emotions for once in his hole messed up life, get Jason- the pain over his death was just starting to fade, and Annabeth back. Be with Grover, hug him, watch him mess up the plants while laughing as well. 

Grover- he could not believe he had completely dismissed the idea of telling that to him immediately. That sickening guilt in his bones started to grow, but in his sleep, he could not scream his throat sore. He wanted Grover, the only person he knew longer than Annabeth, except his mom- maybe. He just wanted to kill the gods for all the unfairness they caused in life. The sick way in which they made all of them- his friends, bleed because of the war. They were not kids anymore- no they were war veterans. The ones who survived. The ones with the guilt weighing down their every movement.

She was one too, and he may be sad for himself but he was glad that she could descend into a peaceful realm where she could meet their friends again. He kept on wishing again and again that he was in her place- she was the one planning out her future, not him. He was just a guy who could not think straight without her.

So, he dreamt of the way he beat the goddess of Poison with Poison and relived Tartarus again, and suddenly the guy who just escaped that place- woke up again, shivering and gasping for breath. Just wishing to cry, his heart of a full-fledged warrior. Percy Jackson woke up after his worst nightmare after he had started to heal and cried till no more tears came out.

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She ventured into that cabin. She hated it, but sometimes she went there when she wanted to be alone. It was the only place where no one lived- well technically there should have been one more person- no she did not want to go through that spiral of thoughts even though she knew it would eventually come up again. 

But, even though she knew her sleep would be plagued with nightmares, they would not win. Ja- no, don't go there... yet. They wanted her to stay strong, she knew she had to, for her cousins, friends, and all the people who looked up to her. But sometimes, she just wanted to break down all the walls protecting her heart- the ones only they could look through. She was getting over J-his death when it happened. With the snap of fingers, she suddenly lost both her siblings- one by blood, the other just as close. They were a family- one she could lean on. But- who would hold her up when the walls were gone?

Never having a happy life, she was a tree, but still, she wished the gods did not exist. Those gods- did not deserve all the sacrifices she and everyone else had to make. The gods sat upstairs and did not move an inch to help- their children as well. Every single thought she had about them was rude, but now was not the time to care.

All the gods' children were veterans, her included. They were broken, shattered, she and her cousins along with closest friends could barely be fixed. And then- that incident happened. They both died and then it felt like the world was crashing down upon her crushing up her body. Like Atlas finally, let go of the sky and Ouranos crashed into Gea. Those thoughts came easily to her now- since yesterday when her cousin delivered the news of her sister's death. She wanted to curl up, scream till she could not anymore, cry till no tears came, but that never happened. She might try not to put up a facade, but still, she had her walls, and no one should be able to break them down again, she said to herself.

She had nightmares suddenly about the two wars, how she had wanted to scream when she learned- J-J.. no, he was dead.  With a jolt, Thalia woke up panting and shivering, sweat coating her body, and cried for the first time since she learned she was a demigod and his death.

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He sighed. He sat on his bed, his fingers touching the wall of the cabin as if hoping for comfort. Death- well he was familiar with it. People died in the two wars. Two of them- well the ones that could slice of the mental walls that prevented him from breaking down into tears after his sister's death. 

Most people thought that he would not show emotions for Ja- no his death. The first person to know he had a crush, well..... he proved them wrong. He wanted peace after he was heeling up. Reforming his mental shields- but then, the truth struck him like a metal sword, and he knew exactly how that felt. Anna- no she died. The gods did not help a tiny bit, the cruel not evil, but he knew they were cruel. They had no heart for anyone but themselves- why could they not help their children, those who were born from their powers, the ones that kept them from fading? 

Why must life always be like this? But they could not help but wait for the pain to go away. Which- sadly never happened. He felt the urge to scream. He resisted. He could not show his pain at the moment. No, he could not show that he was crumbling on the inside. He was not weak, well in his opinion he was, but he could not let it show. He had to conceal it. Let the pain slide, let everyone think he was ok. 

His thoughts again trailed back to Anna- no, no no. and Ja- no. He was not ready........yet. To think about them as 'them' was fine, but their names gave some sort of fear. Irrational but still, it creeped him out thinking about them. He hoped- well not actually but a small part of him hoped every god to be away from this earth vanished and his sister B- no, no-no. Why was he going through that part? He knew that it just made him a lot more upset than necessary and that was not needed right now. The thought of just thinking about his sister made him shiver. He did not like that. They were just thoughts. Just thoughts. Was he trying to convince himself right now?

It never worked. But right now, his friend, cousin needed him and he could not afford to show weakness at any point in time. At least it- no. He was not thinking about that. He and his cousin, though not together, had been through a place the gods hated. His thoughts drifted to his sister. He shut them out.

A nasty voice in his head said 'you'll have to face it at some point. Your sister is dead.' it said in a nasty voice. He shivered and got up. All those thoughts were driving him crazy. He clutched his hair in utter frustration and then screamed like he never had before. Screamed enough to last a lifetime and Nico di Angelo's screams came louder, loud enough to break glass, his face looking utterly lost and broken.