Light flooded the room, the break of morning carrying its wishes through the glass panes of the balcony and erupting in the space above her head. The shimmering pool of light taunted her eyes as she stared up at it, blinking in and out of existence as the glimmer silently shifted from side to side, winking. Warping its shape. The natural light eerily similar to a glitch in the lights, above her head, flickering. Jerking. Twitching. Quivering. A ginger-haired boy, grinning. Disappearing and restructuring just as easily as the lights overhead. Standing by the balcony. Smiling. Laughing. Collapsing on the edge of the bed. Coughing up blood. Morphing in between his own body and the collapsed form of Thalia Blake. Brendan standing at the door, pummelling another lifeless first year who dared look at her the wrong way.

She sat up in the bed, snatching her feet away from the large emptiness at the bottom of the bed and hugging them to her chest. Pulling her body together into one, large, concentrated mass as if it would somehow protect her from the ghosts haunting her head. Some kind of illusion that nothing could get to her as long as she stayed awake. Kept her eyes open. Watched everything so that nothing could ever disappear again. That nothing would ever appear again. That the clock would suddenly push back its beastly hands, the sharp metal cutting through time as it fled back to before. Where everything was okay. Where her boyfriend was just her boyfriend. Where everything was normal. And her best friend was human. And her other best friend was alive. And...and...and her mum...her mum was there. Even though she hadn't been in years. She was there. Sitting around the table with them at dinner. Playing the family board games and laughing at dad's dumb jokes. Smiling and kissing dad just like she used to. Ordering in food just because she couldn't be bothered to cook. Tying her hair up into those adorable little bunches she used to do before school. Teaching her to put on makeup instead of Eleanor having to look up how to do it on her own after her dad ran away from her at even the mention of lipstick or foundation. Tucking her into bed at night. Under the covers. Pressing a kiss to her forehead and ensuring her that her night light would stay on the whole night. That she would never turn it off. That it wouldn't flicker even once.

The vibrations of her phone snapped her out of whatever trance she was in. The room empty once more as her attention was drawn to the mechanical contraption placed on the bedside table, its screen lighting up with a picture of her and her dad last summer, in their apartment with a printed out picture of the beach behind them. Sunglasses and hats on as they posed in front of the holiday they had printed out from Google. Dad. 

Snatching up the phone, Eleanor hastily received the call and pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hey, dad." Her voice sounded relieved and exhausted even to her own ears. She had been missing her father so much, not even aware of how much she needed to hear his voice right now. The past few weeks had been setting her head in a one-way spin, hurling herself back into the mindset of a child. Hibernating away inside what she knew and refusing to accept any of the extreme changes hurtling out of control around her, curling up on herself as new blows hit her left and right. Like a child hiding from the monster blending in with the darkness under the bed. 

"Hi, sweetie. I was just calling to check if you're okay. I got a message from the school to confirm that you stayed over at Nate's last night. I'm sorry I didn't see the message sooner, I was just so caught up in work that I fell asleep and didn't see it until now. I'm really sorry, princess. You could have been kidnapped or something and I would have had no idea. God, I'm such a terrible parent." Eleanor felt a pang of guilt upon hearing the remorse in his words. He was blaming himself for something that was completely her fault.

"You're not a horrible parent, dad. You're a great parent. Besides, it's my fault for not calling you and letting you know." Her heart skipped at the number of times she could have called her dad, imagining herself bursting into tears as the weight of all that had happened finally crushed her under its smothering embrace. "It's just...everything has been a bit hectic recently."

"So, you weren't kidnapped?" She couldn't help but laugh at his words, settling herself a little more comfortably against the headboard and pulling the duvet up to cover her knees. Her whole posture was more relaxed, the ghosts that had previously been haunting the room banished to the corner of her mind as all she could think about was how happy she was to be speaking to her dad again.

"No, dad, I promise that I wasn't kidnapped."

"Are you sure the kidnappers aren't just forcing you to say this?"

"Yeah, dad, I'm sure. I stayed over at Nate's for the night."

"Well...if you're sure." His natural concern for her made her smile slightly, tilting her head back to look up at the ceiling as she fell into the natural small talk between her and quite possibly the only family she had left. Feeling everything else melt away except making sure he was okay, that he still loved her and he wasn't planning on giving up on her any time soon. Because she sure as hell wasn't giving up on him.

"How...how's everything been?"

"With work and stuff?"

"No, dad, your secret superhero life." He chuckled at that, the warm sound breathing through the phone like the warm embrace she so longed to receive from him. She snuggled closer into the duvet. 

"Well...work's been going okay, I guess. The kids are the same as they've always been."

"Annoying?"

"Well...yeah. But still cute as hell."

"I have no idea how you manage to work with children day in and day out."

"What can I say? I enjoy it. That's not to say that I can see you as a teacher though, Ellie."

"What? Why not? I'd be a great teacher!"

"Picture yourself with thirty little school children, with all of them screaming and yelling at you at once. Every one of them is whining and doing the exact opposite of what you tell them. There's a little boy in the corner trying to kiss a girl but she keeps running away from him, tripping over the toy box in the process and spilling it all over the floor. Only for another child to step on one of the fallen bits of lego. You try to keep your cool but-"

"Okay, okay, I admit it. I wouldn't be the best teacher. I'd probably chase them all out of there with a scary ghost story and then lock the door to prevent them from getting back in."

He laughed again, and she could almost see him. Sitting alone at the kitchen table with a cooling mug of coffee in one hand and the phone in the other. Staring at a small framed photo set up on the mantlepiece just below the television. A photograph taken the day after mum left. Both of them smiling as he blew the remnants of his pay cheque on a special day out for them both. "That's my girl."

"You do enjoy your job though, don't you?"

"Of course. This way, I never have to stop being a dad."

"What do you mean?"

"It's no secret that my little girl is growing up."

"Yeah, but-"

"It was always going to happen, you've done me proud, Eleanor. You've grown up all by yourself."

"But I couldn't have done it without you. You know that, right? There's no way I would be who I am without you."

"Yeah...I know...but...I'm not a girl, you know? I feel like you only got half the parenting you deserve. I...I tried but I couldn't be a mother and a father at the same time. I...I couldn't be both and I...I feel like it's my fault that you didn't get that."

"You mean like that time you tried to braid my hair into a french plait, only for it to end up as a giant knot that we literally had to cut off?"

"Eleanor, I'm being serious."

"So am I, dad. I don't need a mum. You're all I need, dad. You're the best parent that anyone could ever ask for. You more than make up for mum. You're ten times better than she was. You stayed when she left and you're the one that brought me up, not her. You're the reason that I am who I am, dad."

"Then why didn't you tell me about Thalia?"

"...dad."

"I'm not an idiot, Eleanor. She was a famous person's daughter, did you expect me to just not watch the news ever again? The school sent a letter home about it for god's sake. I...I just...I...I don't understand why you wouldn't tell me about it. I...I mean...surely you were hurting about it...I...you would always tell me about how close you were with her."

"I...I'm sorry, dad, I...I...I just...I...I haven't really spoken to anyone about it. I...I...I didn't want you to worry."

"Don't you think that it worried me more when I had to find out for myself?"

"Dad...I...I...it has nothing to do with you or...I...it's just me...I...I just...I get really choked up whenever I even think about what happened to her and I...I didn't want you to think that I wasn't okay. Because I...I know how worried you get and I...I didn't want to hurt you like that because....because you've done so much for me and you...you shouldn't have to bear the weight of my burdens as well."

"Honey, I don't care about how much I worry about you. If you're hurting and you need to talk to someone, I'm always here, okay? You don't have to be afraid to talk to me just because you're afraid that I will think you're life isn't as perfect as you always say as it is. I'm not going to hate you or think you're ungrateful just because you're not as happy as you say you are or that the school you go to isn't perfect."

"I...uh...what are you...."

"A father knows his daughter, Eleanor. I knew things weren't going to be easy for you in that school. But you were so desperate to go and...well as much as I want to beat up those kids for ever saying I mean word to you, because I'm sure they have, I know you. And I always knew that you were smart enough to realise these things for yourself. 

"Dad-"

"You knew that life was going to be tough there. You tried to talk yourself out of it, I can imagine, telling yourself that you'd fit in just fine. But...I think you knew all along that you wouldn't quite...blend. Just as well as I did. But...you're your own person, Eleanor and I didn't want to ruin that. If you wanted to go in there and chase your dreams even with the knowledge that you could get judged with every step you took, then you go for it. Be a complete badass and show that bunch of snobs that you don't need money to have talent." 

"Dad, I-"

"Did it hurt me to know that you were probably going to get hurt out there on your own? Yes. But...everyone goes through their hardships and if...I think you would have regretted it if you didn't go. I saw how much you wanted to go there. I wasn't going to take that choice to follow your dreams away from you just because I was scared for my little girl. You deserved to chase your dreams, kiddo. You still do. I wasn't going to stop you. And...besides. You always knew that you were welcome to come home whenever you wanted. I couldn't be prouder of you for going out there and doing what you want to do even when everyone else is trying to tell you that you can't."

She found all the words get stuck in her throat, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes as she brought a hand up to cover her mouth. He had sacrificed more for her than she could have ever imagined. "I...I love you, dad."

"I love you too, princess. And this is another reason why you couldn't possibly work with children. You'd burst into tears whenever one of them said something remotely sweet or adorable."

"Shut up, dad."

"Are you sure that you're going to be okay, Eleanor? You...you don't want to come home for a bit of a break or anything?"

"No...no. I'll be okay. I...Nate looks after me pretty well."

"Glad to hear it. It's good to know you've at least got someone to look after you up there."

"I...I actually think I might have a few more people looking out for me than I first thought."

"Really? That's good. Have they all banded together to launch a ruthless attack on that asshole who cheated on you?"

"Dad, what did you always tell me about violence not being the answer?"

"It's okay to beat up someone when they deserve it!"

"Dad."

"Okay...okay...I admit that it's best to be the better person and all that but...you've got to admit that it would be more funny than sad to see him fall down a flight of stairs."

"Okay, okay, I think I'll leave you to fantasize about your violent habits in peace, dad."

He chuckled at her sudden dismissal of him. "Alright, bye sweetheart."

"Bye, dad. I love you."

"I love you too."