The song above is just so beautiful and hits me in the feels every time and suits this chapter perfectly. I'm sorry that it's another unedited one from me but I promise I'll go back through them and give them a thorough edit when exams are over. I'm over halfway there so am feeling somewhat optimistic. It's really only writing that lets me forget about it for a while and truly lets me lose a bit of stress.

Hope you all enjoy <3

Eleanor sat with her feet dipped in the water of the pool, jeans rolled up to just beneath her knees as she embraced the feeling of cold water swimming up to her shins. With her arms braced on either side of her body, she smiled down at the sparkling water, gently swinging her legs back and forth to create small ripples, light bouncing off the drifting ridges and making each indent almost glow with luminescence. Expanding to form uniform rings, thin halos of illumination gradually enlarging until they either engulfed one another or were swallowed by the surrounding walls. She watched as they disappeared. 

There was a sort of weight pressing down on her chest, constricting her breathing and causing her heart to begin its daily ritual of waning and waxing at such an increased pace that she could hear the blood pumping in her ears. It reminded her of the way that her body would react if she dived beneath the surface of the pool. Breaking the peaceful tranquillity of blue. She could still remember small, fleeting images of when her parents had first taught her to swim, the threat to just throw her in the deep end if she didn't climb into the shallow end herself. The way they had laughed as she shivered from how cold the water was. Water barely up to her tiny little chest as she slowly made her way down the sloping tiles. She couldn't remember much else, apart from perhaps frantically paddling between each parent. And the words they had said when she was a little older. No. That he had said when she was a little older. Mum hadn't been there then. And she had been in the deep end for the first time, frantically using her legs to keep herself afloat as she watched her father patiently wait for her to give up and submerge herself in the water. "Just let yourself sink for a bit, Princess, it's the only way you'll learn how to swim to the surface."

Eleanor could vaguely recall how she had gradually tired of keeping herself afloat, her father promising to bring her back up as she gently immersed herself in the water. Slowly sinking downwards as her hair freed itself from the laws of gravity and reached upwards towards the surface, floating around her as the tendrils created all sorts of constellations behind her head. A dark pair of wings intertwining to form a shadowed halo. Little giggles dancing out of her mouth in the form of bubbles as her blurry vision adjusted to the sight of her father drifting slightly above her. Waving at her with a large smile on his face. His own laugh catching her bubbles with his own as they met in the middle. Offering a hand. Helping her kick back up to the crest of the water. 

It was a strange memory to spring to her mind at that specific moment in time, one that she certainly hadn't reminisced of in a long time. But, the more she thought about it, the more relevance it held. Negative thoughts were very much like water. They somehow always managed to push their way through every seal, charging at the artificial barrier with such force that there was no hope if stopping it. Only building up over time. And...and sometimes just...just letting yourself sink for a bit is the only way you'll ever learn to swim to the surface.

Eleanor kicked out her right foot a little more violently, the repercussions of the action echoing all around the pool. Clenching her jaw as they faded once more. Kicking harder and running a hand through her hair in a sense of utter grievance, tugging at the roots a little harsher than she normally would. As if that could somehow make her brain shut the hell up. To banish the shadow preventing her from having any other thoughts. 

She didn't want to end up like these stupid ripples. She didn't want to be something that didn't leave anything of itself behind. Only carrying a few other particles of water with it. Only to vanish once it reached its designated destination. She didn't want the water to just return to calm once she was gone, as if she had never existed at all. She'd heard the saying of how a single decision leaves endless ripples on one's life in the form of backlash or some other karma consequence thing like that. But, what the hell did it matter if she was going to die anyway? What was the bloody point in anything? She was going to die before she could freaking achieve anything, anyways. She wasn't going to get the chance to do anything. She was just going to be another heap of bones in the ground that the world never cared about. A small little pity story of a girl who died too young. Who never had the opportunity to do...

To do...what the hell was it that she wanted to do with her life? The thought struck her for a moment, catching her off guard as her previously thrashing legs halted in the water. Just letting the ripples flow over them. She had always loved music, she knew that much. But doing something with that? Jesus Christ, she had never even dreamed of any sort of career in it. It had always seemed so impossible, something so far out of reach that may as well not even try. Writing songs was her passion but...performing them to large audiences or even...even selling them to someone else. That wasn't...there was always the insecurity that not everyone would like them. And yet...she couldn't...she couldn't see herself doing anything else. 

Not that it mattered now anyway.

She booted the water so hard some of it exploded in her face. Forming something that looked like tears on her face, wiping them away with her sleeves as she drove both her ankles into the irritatingly peaceful surface of the water. Willing the ripples to last longer. To leave some sort of lasting mark rather than freaking disappearing. She struggled to blink away the moisture behind her eyelids, reminding herself that this was why she had never allowed herself to think about it. That learning to swim wasn't worth drowning. That she shouldn't have to come to terms with it. She should just get on with it and die so that she wouldn't have to think about it looming in her future anymore. 

Pull it the hell together, Eleanor. 

She couldn't exactly pinpoint what had suddenly brought on this wave of emotion, only that the walk home from the supermarket had been in silence. And that she had allowed herself to think in that time, unfortunately. Reflecting on the weird no not quite friendship thing she had with Liam really made her question how much longer she had left. How pointless it was to form new relationships when she just going to drop dead anyway. That and it was her eighteenth birthday next week. God knows if she even made it that far. 

If she had been of the age to legally drink, she was certain that she would have taken a long swig of beer around now. Probably before chugging the whole thing down, tilting her head back in a melodramatic manner as some sad piano music played in the background. Maybe with a warbling singing voice over the top in which she threw the bottle into the pool upon the crescendo. Perhaps before breaking down into a series of heartbreaking sobs, clutching her knees to her chest as her body wracked with the sound. 

She drew her legs out of the water, tucking them to her stomach despite the wet stain they left on her clothes. Unclenching her jaw as she rested her hands on top of her knees and gently placed her chin on them. Staring right in front of her with a large amount of concentration on nothing whatsoever. Seeing everything while not seeing anything at all.

Meanwhile, behind the door to the swimming pool and peering through the glass while careful not to be seen were the three boys, heads tilted to the side and lips pressed together as they watched her. Neither of them knowing quite what to do in this situation. Although they couldn't be certain what was bothering her, they could take a pretty educated guess and, knowing the delicacy of the subject, they weren't sure whether it was best to intrude or not. Whether she would appreciate the company.

"What the hell do we do?" Flynn hissed, sure to keep his voice low. He may not have had felt a deeper connection with Eleanor like the other two boys but, for some reason, he still felt protective over her. She really did remind him of her little sister in many ways of her manner and it made him want to be around her more. Because he didn't get to see his little Sofia often. But it wasn't just that. Although he hadn't spoken to her in that many in-depth conversations, he had been able to tell that she was a good sort of person. That and his two best friends weren't idiots. If they fell for a girl, they probably had a reason. And if they wanted a girl to be in their lives in that kind of way, then she may as well be family to him. And he valued his family more than anything.

Nate sighed, shrugging his broad shoulders as he kept her eyes transfixed on her form. He couldn't quite see her face, a dark curtain of hair shielding it from the boys' view as she stared off in front of her. The position so eerily calm to her previously angered actions. Every jolt of her inner turmoil had struck him a little deeper. Because he had absolutely no idea how to help her. If anything, he had more trouble comprehending her death than she did. "I can't talk to her about it," he dismissed the thought as quickly as it had entered his head. Seeing the expectant eyes of his two friends. "I...I can't. I...I won't. I won't be any help. I...I'll just make it worse by breaking down myself." He was much like Eleanor in that way. He hadn't truly allowed himself to submerge into the dark feelings. Not wanting to feel the god-awful pain of mourning someone while they were standing right in front of you. He didn't want to do that to her. To look at her as if she was already dead. As if he was preparing himself for her absence. Getting a head start on the grief so that it wouldn't be so painful when it actually came. She didn't deserve that kind of friendship. She deserved the kind of friendship that stayed in full prosperity until the moment she took her last breath. 

Liam seemed to be thinking something along the same train of thought, staring at the floor as he gently scuffed his foot against the ground, occasionally bending the body part over onto its toes just so that he could relish in the pain and ignore what was going on in the next room. His jaw was clenched so tight it hurt, wishing that he had enough strength to jam his foot into the floor. To leave a large, satisfying crack in the tile that would serve as some sort of outlet for his anger. Because keeping them all bottled up inside had come to the point where he couldn't even decipher one from the other. "She doesn't deserve this," he whispered the words to himself, shaking his head in complete and utter hatred of himself as seriously contemplated driving his fist in the wall just to feel some physical pain. Anything other than what he was feeling now. 

Flynn pushed up from where he had been leaning against the wall, walking over to the front of the glass door. Just close enough that she would be able to see his silhouette if she looked up. "To die? I don't think anyone deserves to die, Liam."

The Redhead lifted his head, meeting his friend's blue-eyed gaze with eyes that almost looked black in the darkness. A single spark of light reflected off the left pupil. Lips pressed into a thin line. "She doesn't deserve to know she's going to die, Flynn. Don't you see what it's doing to her?" He couldn't imagine the thought of someone telling him he was going to die. How he would spend every day just waiting for it to come and hit him. Wasting his life away because he knew there was all freaking point in it anymore. "It was bloody selfish to tell her in the first place."

Nate nodded in agreement, fiddling with an unopened cigarette packet in the pocket of his jacket as he ran his thumb over the sharp edges of the box. He hadn't taken a smoke in months, maybe even a year. But it was something he always kept in his pocket. Almost as a messed up alternative to thinking about how crappy life was. Something that could always be there for him unlike his crapbag of a father. "It was." He didn't necessarily want to hurt his friend's feelings, knowing full well how guilty he already felt about the whole ideal. He just wasn't really in the state of mind for lying. "But I would have done the same thing."

"It was also stupid. It's not like it's going to change anything."

"Maybe you just wanted to get to know her properly before she died."

Silence wrapped around the three boys after that, each male cocooned in a blanket of their own thoughts as they lurked in the shadows at the back of their own house. Their body language was defeated, the only sound being that of their own breathing and the scratching of Nate's fingernails against the cigarette box. Until Flynn spoke, now leaning against the wall once more with his eyes closed and head tilted up towards the cieling. "I suppose we're all dying, if you think about it. We're all just counting down the minutes until we all drop dead. But...we're not going around moping about it. Why the hell does knowing when you're going to die stop you from living your life? Everyone knows they're going to die." He turned his head to look at Eleanor. "We can't let her think that her only purpose in life is death. We've got to cram a whole lifetime into the matter of the last few weeks she has left. Because that...that is what she deserves."