Chapter Thirteen (Ace's POV)

What was I doing? Was any of it right? Was this supposed to be happening?

I should've been asking myself those questions in a way that referred to my future, not having sex with my wife's best friend and the uncle of my sons' boyfriends. Even so, they just ran around in circles in my head along with the mashed up thoughts I thought I'd never have concerning a man, especially Vic, but there they were. Thoughts like:

Does he feel good? He's kissing me like this is the last time he'd ever kiss me. Would this be the last time we ever got together like this? Probably... But something about it didn't quite feel like a one-night stand. It felt far too intimate for that.

"Ace, you're biting me." Vic's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked down to see him pushing his tongue against his lip, now looking sore. I grimaced.

"Sorry." I said under my breath. He smiled faintly, but there was a touch of sadness to it and it tugged at my heartstrings. Enough so that I was diving down again, tasting his lips and tongue. I had a feeling I'd always remember this, whether I wanted to or not.

Of course, the situation wasn't as awful as I had always pictured it to be. I'd figured I'd get disgusted halfway through, after all, Vic was a man. He had nothing a woman had and at first, I was wondering how in the hell I was going to make this work, but it's like in the back of my mind, I knew how it worked. I knew it wasn't gross.

No. Vic was anything, but.

His skin was hot and smooth, touching mine as his hands rested on my shoulders, his soft dark hair a mess from rolling around on the bed. His cheeks were flushed and they only got redder when I ran my hand down his thigh, dipping my hand between his legs and cupping him. He ground his teeth together to keep from making any noises, but a gentle squeeze fixed that right away and he moaned, slumping back against the pillows.

I kept asking myself in the back of my mind. Was I doing this right?

I wasn't about to ask that out loud, though. I was already embarrassed enough. I didn't need to stomp on my dignity that much.

I ran my fingers along his groin, watching him writhe against the sheets. It was actually a little interesting to see this side of Vic. He was normally the composed uncle who seemed like a bit of a prude sometimes, but here he was. Lying on a bed and mewling, his toes curling and his fingertips digging into my shoulders. It didn't hurt one bit, in fact, I wish he'd just dig his nails into me for some reason.

"Ace, stop," Vic panted, "I can't...." I didn't listen to him. I knew he probably didn't want me to stop, I was just embarrassing him. Good, that made two of us. I rubbed my finger along the tip of him before his nails dug down into my shoulders and he came, hard. I was surprised at how fast he was. I watched him slump against the pillows again, breathing hard. I felt his essence dripping down my fingers and hand, falling onto the sheets.

"You came a lot." I heard myself say. Vic's face lit up like a Christmas light bulb and he grabbed a pillow, shoving it up at my face and pushing me back.

"You don't have to say things aloud," He huffed as I tossed the pillow aside, watching his expression soften, "We can stop now, Ace." I frowned.

"I don't want to." I never thought I'd say something like that in this sort of situation. Vic must have thought so too because his head snapped to look at me, his expressive dark eyes staring at me like dark pools of chocolate. I ran my tongue over my lips before I reached down, holding his face as I kissed him deeply.

He immediately melted in my touch and a part of me flooded with excitement at the power I had over him. It sent chills through me as our tongues danced, my hands tracing down the sides of his face and over his throat, brushing over his shoulders. I lowered my lips onto his throat now, tasting his sweet skin between my teeth, running my tongue over him. He moaned, cocking his head to allow me more access as his hands smoothed over my back, rubbing gently.

My body was aching almost painfully, particularly between my legs and I was getting anxious. I felt a sudden need that I hadn't felt so strongly before in my life. I wanted to devour him. Taste every inch of him and never share him. I was stunned by the surge of possessiveness that struck me in that moment as I let my lips brush over his nipple.

It was by far different than doing it with a woman. Vic didn't pull at my hair or whine. His voice was still deep enough to be recognized as a man's, vibrating his chest as I kissed his nipple, taking it between my lips and rolling my tongue along it. He hissed past clenched teeth, his nails digging into my skin before he gasped as I nipped at his flesh.

"Ace, I need it, I'm sorry..." He managed, his voice shaking. Just hearing him say my name was enough to almost have me exploding, but I have no idea where the sudden control came from. I leaned back so I could see all of him.

Last week, if you had told me that I'd be lying in bed with Vic while he was naked, I'd kill you.

Now, the idea couldn't have sounded better.

I leaned down to kiss him again, taking his hips in my hands, digging my fingers into his skin as I pulled him closer to my lap, where I was waiting to plunge in. He took my shoulders in his hands, his eyes watching me with glazed over lust. Before I knew what I was doing, I was pushing myself inside him. I was engulfed in a tight heat that just about sent me over the edge as I gritted my teeth, watching pain flit across Vic's face, his nails cutting my skin as he ground his teeth together.

"Am I hurting you?" I asked.

"Uh uh." Vic answered, his voice thick. I wanted to believe him, but the grimace on his face told me not to move yet. The idea of it was killing me. I couldn't sit there on my knees waiting for him to adjust and I hated myself for that, so against my better judgement, I moved and watched Vic throw his head back, gasping. He broke out in sweat, our skin smacking together as he moaned and panted for breath.

I ran one hand along his back, gripping him to me tightly as his arms encircled me in a desperate attempt to increase his pleasure. I adjusted our positions so he was in my lap, plunging down to meet my thrusts, his voice shaking as he whimpered.

"Ace, I love you, I'm so sorry. I love you so much." It took me a moment to realize he was a crying, but my body just wouldn't respond to my brain and kept moving, making him moan. I felt myself reaching my peak, my heart pounding in my ears and my blood rushing. Through it all, I could hear Vic panting my name against my ear, his lips pressing hotly to my flesh. I heard myself growl as everything in me tightened before bursting apart in one gasp, Vic's name molding itself on my tongue and flying past my lips as I came.

It was the most incredible thing I'd ever experienced.

I heard Vic give a sharp cry and his whole body went tight around me as he found his release, mewling sweetly as he rammed himself down on me. The blazing passionate orgasm only lasted so long, however, before we slumped to the bed in exhaustion.

That's when it hit me.

Oh my God.

What have I done?!

I didn't want to move. I was horrified. How could I do this to Cherri?! How could I ever do such a thing to the woman I loved, the woman I married, the woman I had children with?! Oh God, my children. What would they think of me if they knew I'd done this? That I'd... cheated on their mother?

The word cheat sounded so bitter and cold. It stung and when I finally opened my eyes, I realized Vic was asleep.

How long had I been here?

I shifted under the sheets and blankets, propping myself up on my elbows. I looked at Vic to see him deep asleep on the bed, one of his arms tossed over his head and his other hand resting near his cheek, his head tilted toward me. His eyes were closed, his lashes a dark creasant shape against his skin.

Could I slip out without him noticing? Was he a light or heavy sleeper? Could I even make it out of the room? What if Rick was awake or Blake had come back and saw me? Then what?

I had jinxed myself with the thought as I heard the sound of the front door opening and slamming shut, Blake's voice calling out to Vic. I gasped and panic flooded through me so that I was shaking Vic's shoulder.

"Mm, hm... What?" Vic murmured sleepily, not opening his eyes.

"Vic, wake up. You need to wake up." I commanded. Vic scrunched up his nose for a moment, then his eyes snapped open as if he suddenly remembered everything that had happened. He shot up at once, then hissed in pain and flopped on his side. The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs had him flying out of bed despite the pain in his lower back. He snatched at the sheets, pulling them over himself to hide his nudity.

"Get the door!" Vic hissed. I gaped at him.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm naked too!"

"Your clothes are on the end of the bed!"

"And yours are at your feet!"

"Wouldn't it be a little suspicious if I were sleeping in the guest room?" Vic demanded. I mentally slapped myself as I scrambled out of the bed, tearing my jeans on just as I heard Blake knock on the door. I was there in an instant, waving Vic to get out of sight. He ducked behind the bed and sat down, pulling his knees to his chest as I opened the door.

"Mr. Carter. What're you doing here?" Blake asked wearily when he saw me, his pale green-blue eyes watching me curiously. He looked rather cleaned up with a new leather jacket, matching v-neck shirt and black jeans. His hair was actually brushed, for the most part. It looked like the wind had decided to ruffle it up at the last minute.

"Cherri kicked me out." I admitted, though, it struck a blow to my ego that was already sinking below sea level by now. Blake frowned.

"I'm sorry. Uhm, have you seen Vic?"

"No."

"His truck's here."

"He must have gone with that... one guy."

"One guy." Blake echoed flatly, looking unconvinced. Oh, yea. Now my lying skills decide to take a nose dive. I winced inwardly and shifted a little, pretending to yawn as I rubbed the back of my neck.

"I don't know. I wasn't listening... Uhm, hey, do you have the time?"

"It's ten."

Ten, I'd been here for only a few hours. Maybe Cherri would have assumed I'd gone out to cool off as well. God, I pray so.

"All right. Well, I need to leave anyway. I'll make sure to have Cherri call him. Nice seeing you again, Blake."

"Sure. Later." Blake swiftly turned away and headed down the hallway into another room. I waited until he closed the door before I closed mine too, whirling around to see Vic getting up, going for his clothes.

"He knows something's wrong." I deadpanned.

"Of course he does," Vic muttered, "It's Blake. He's a genius... Oh, by the way. That one guy is Anthony."

"Which reminds me, you know he's a drunken bastard, right?" I blurted. Vic had his back to me as he pulled on his jeans before he stopped. I saw the muscles in his back tense before he resumed dressing, zipping up his jeans and snatching up his sweater. He turned to me with a frown.

"I don't think you know Anthony."

"I do. A co-worker of mine is friends with him and says Anthony's a violent drunk."

"If you're trying to tell me not to date him for that reason, you're a hypocrite."

"Yes, I know that, but-"

"Ace, why do you care?" Vic asked at last after he pulled his sweater on. He folded his arms over his chest to look at me and I stared at him for a long time without saying anything. I didn't know what to say.

I don't know why I cared. Even after last night, I knew I still loved Cherri.

"I don't." I heard myself say. Very bad choice of words because Vic winced, but turned away quickly and snatched up the sheets, tossing them on the bed.

"Exactly," He said at last, but his voice sounded strangled, "So, you better get home before Blake comes in here and Cherri finds out."

"Right." I replied and Vic quickly led me down stairs as quietly as possible. Neither of us said goodbye as I walked out the front door, closing it behind me as I went out to my truck. It was snowing again and the air had grown icy cold. My cheeks burned with the bitter winter wind, making the snow dance around my feet as I stood outside my truck.

I stared up at the sky, seeing an opening in the dark clouds that gave way to the black starry night beneath. I turned my gaze onto Vic's house, studying the expensive structure and hoping to see some sign of Vic, but I didn't.

I hurt him. Again.

I sighed miserably and got in the truck, starting it up and blasting the heater as I pulled out and drove carefully back home.

I had no idea what I was going to do when I got back. Act like nothing happen? Confess? Without a doubt, Cherri was going to be hurt if she knew, but she'd hurt even more if she figured it out on her own. Upon pulling into the driveway, I debated whether to even go inside or not. Maybe I should just sit here with the heater on...

Ugh, no, that won't solve anything either. Someone probably already saw me pulling up anyway.

I reluctantly got out and headed inside. The house was quiet when I entered, but the lights were on in the kitchen, so I made my way down the hallway and into the kitchen. Cherri was leaning on the counter, poking her fork into a cheesecake before she looked up and saw me.

Her smile fell away and turned into a frown as she stood up straight, picking up her cheesecake and taking it to the fridge, brushing past me as if I were nothing.

"So, where were you? Getting drunk?" She asked coldly, putting her cheesecake in the fridge and slamming the door shut.

"I was at Vic's." I answered honestly, preparing myself. Cherri would have every right to hate me for eternity for what I had done, and for what I will do. If she killed me, I'd even understand. I had no right to hurt her like this.

"Oh God," Cherri gasped, "You didn't."

"I didn't go there to rant at him if that's what you're thinking." I responded flatly. Cherri scowled, but her expression softened after a while.

"Then what?" She asked. I felt my gut grow tight, my throat clench and my heart throb in pain. How do I say this? I can't just come right out and say "I had sex with Vic". She'd slap me, rip my head off, or worse. Castrate me and God knows Cherri would do that without the slightest bit of remorse.

"Apologizing." I replied. That wasn't necessarily a lie now was it? I did apologize, in a really horrible sort of way that in turn hurt Cherri. Not to mention, I ended up hurting Vic anyway.

"Really?" Cherri asked hesitantly. It was almost like she knew what I was going to say. I could tell by her guarded expression, the fact that she had backed up a few steps. I shifted from foot to foot uneasily, biting my lower lip for a second before taking a deep breath.

"Cherri, I'm sorry. I love you so much. I never meant to hurt you or anything. There's just been... so much going on. I can't focus on all of this and I probably gave you the impression that I can handle it, but I really can't. My head and my body are physically aching from all this stress. Finding out about Danny and Devin, meeting Blake and Rick, and especially meeting Vic. Then making the biggest mistake of my life at Vic's, twice."

"Wait, twice? Ace, what're you talking about?"

"That first night I went to Vic's, I was drunk. I was so drunk that I had driven into a ditch and that's why I ended up at Vic's. He was there with his friend Rex. I took out all my stress on Vic that night, in more ways than one."

"What? Ace-"

"Cherri, I hurt him. I didn't mean to. I was just so angry at everything, at everyone. You were right, I was being selfish. Because I was hurting, I wanted everyone else to hurt, so I did stupid things. I didn't just yell at Vic that night. I shoved him down on the sofa and made fun of him for liking men, and not just any man either. There was a specific one he liked and I made fun of him even more after he told me," I stopped for a second to suck in a deep breath, watching her face drain of color at the realization of what I'd done, "After that, I tried to calm down, but it was so hard. I felt awful for what I'd done to Vic and I felt even worse, because after that, I couldn't stop thinking about him."

"What'd you mean?"

"I don't know, even now I'm still convinced. Even after what I just did."

"What you just did- Oh, Ace. Don't. Please-"

"I didn't go over to Vic's tonight just to apologize for being a selfish bastard. I had to figure things out, once and for all. I had to find out if I really liked Vic as much as I thought I did, as much as he liked me," I went on, despite the tears that were welling in her gorgeous blue eyes, "I made a mistake tonight, Cherri, and I know you'll never forgive me and I have no right to ask for your forgiveness. All I can say is that I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry and I understand if you want to kill me or divorce me or anything you want. I just wanted you to know the truth. I'm so tried of trying to cover it up and handle it myself, because I know for a fact that I can't do this on my own. I can't handle these feelings, I can't handle the office work, I can't handle Vic loving me, my mother coming to town, our constant fighting. It's too much for me and I'm sorry I can't handle it. You were right, maybe I really am too weak for this kind of stuff."

I stopped. I felt like I couldn't breath after saying all that. My chest was tight and achy, my whole body hurt and I felt like I had just been hit by a truck. All the physical and emotional pain from earlier came rushing back with a vengence. My temples throbbed, a full on migrain starting in the back of my head. The piercing pain spread through my shoulders as a burning ache, my arms feeling heavy and weak.

And it wasn't helping that Cherri was covering her mouth with her hand, her finger drawn up alongside her nose as she sniffled, the tears spilling over and down her cheeks. She had her other arm folded over her chest and her pose was one that told me she was thinking.

I didn't know what to do now. I had confessed and she wasn't saying anything, but I had a feeling she wanted me out.

And I deserved to be kicked out.

I went past her into the hallway to leave, reaching into my pocket for my keys and trying to think of the nearest hotel. Then I felt Cherri's hand on my arm, pulling me to a halt. I frowned and turned to look down at her.

"Ace. Tell me the truth, do you love me, or Vic?" She asked, her voice surprisingly calm, despite the tears that were still trickling down her pretty face. My heart ached with so much pain and longing. I really just wanted to sweep her into my arms and never let go, but I knew I couldn't.

And I honestly didn't know how to answer her question.

Who did I love more?

Cherri or Vic? How could I ever choose? Cherri was my first girlfriend, my first true love, my first everything. I'd known her almost my whole life. We'd been friends since elementary and by high school, we'd begun to date and that was when she got pregnant and pushed through high school and community college while balancing twins. I had done the same and also gotten a job so I could help support her while her parents refused to help.

We'd gone to prom together, graduated together, went to the same college. We lived through two apartments, a duplex, and we'd finally bought this house in a good neighborhood near a good school. We had raised our children together, gone through deaths of family members, pets, and friends. We stuck together through our children's teenaged years.

And Vic? We had just met not more than a year ago. His nephews practically stole my sons away from me- No, I had driven them away. Vic was just there to pick up my mess and he still told me he loved me. He stood against all my rantings and blows, taking everything with his head held high and through it all, he had no problem reminding me that I was his everything. When he was in pain, I couldn't bear it. All those times Rick was in the hospital, I was there.

I could tell Vic everything and he would do what he could to make it better. He was more than just a good friend I could confide in.

"I don't know." I whispered. Cherri immediately let go of me and stepped back as if I had slapped her. She didn't say anything, though. Not even when I had walked out the door and headed back out to my truck, starting the engine up and driving into town to rent a hotel.

I probably should've have bothered wasting my money on it because I couldn't sleep a wink. Instead, I lay there, gazing up at the ceiling numbly. All I could see was Cherri's heartbroken face, Vic's agony when he basically realized that us having sex was one of the biggest mistakes he'd ever made.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, resting my elbows on my knees and clasping my hands together as I closed my eyes, my forehead against my hands.

God, forgive me. I'm such a terrible person. How could I possibly love two people? Is this some kind of sick joke? Ugh, I'm being selfish again. Lord, I don't know what to do.

Please, God. Help me. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I thought I had everything figured out, I thought I could fix things, but I'd just made them go from bad to worse. Vic hates me. Cherri hates me. Everyone does., and I'm beginning to hate myself.

God, what do I do?