Chapter Ten (Ace's POV)

What the hell is wrong with me?

Why was I so angry with Vic? I kept asking myself that, even though I already knew the answer and damn it all to Hell for the answer too. Ever since that night at Vic's, everything in my world had flipped upside down and it was driving me insane.

Why was it so hard now? I was older now, a father for crying out loud, a husband! I knew the answers to all life's problems- Well, most of them anyway. So why, why on God's green earth, did Vic have to come into my life and just screw it all up like this? I didn't hate him for it and that just made me even angrier.

"Ace, did I say something that made you mad?" Vic asked softly from beside me. I almost flinched at the tone of his voice. I had hurt him and I knew it, but it's not like I could contain the unwanted fury that seemed to course through me at the thought of Vic calling his boyfriend. Who was this Anthony guy anyway? Why was Vic so interested in him? He sounded like a suck up to me.

"No." I said at last as we walked out into the icy cold night. My breath came out in hot clouds, curling up toward the starry night sky as streams of dark clouds passed in front of the full moon. I shivered at the cold, feeling goose bumps rise on my skin, so I shoved my hands into my coat pockets before I dared to look at Vic.

He was looking out at the parking lot with a tired stare, his eyes hooded and red from crying. He was nibbling on his lower lip, his arms at his sides limply like he didn't know what to do with him. I couldn't lie and say he was ugly, even a straight man could admit that Vic was quite attractive. His dark hair was ruffled and messy in a way that was almost childish. His eyes were dark, almost black in the dimly lit parking lot. He wore a navy blue Columbia jacket, jeans, and a rather dull knit sweater underneath. His nose was turning pink from the cold and something inside me wanted to reach out and rub it.

Shut the hell up, Ace. I mentally cursed myself with a scowl. Vic looked up at me, lifting a brow in question as I cleared my throat awkwardly and looked toward where my truck was parked, Devin just climbing into the passenger seat.

"So, I'm probably gonna head home now. I'm really sorry about Rick." And I meant it. As a parent, I knew the choking, gripping horror of having your child in danger. I had that feeling when Danny had been in the hospital with a broken arm and when Devin had been hurt by that Alexander Tate kid. The crushing hysteria of questions.

Is he going to be all right?

What happened?

Why my child?

Will he die?

Is it all my fault?

They were questions that made any parent's throat tight with sobs. It took all our strengths to remain calm, and even then, sometimes it wasn't enough and everything just came bursting out.

I immediately remembered the way I had come around the corner to find Vic, only to have him smash into me. The look on his face when I asked what happened... Even now, I felt a painful ache in my chest when he burst into tears. The way he cringed and tried to stop himself, but the feelings just came pouring out like a waterfall.

I don't know why I hugged him, again. In fact, I don't know why I hugged him at all, ever.

He was a man. I was a man. He had a boyfriend. I had a wife. I had children. He had his nephews. It just wasn't right, but for some reason, it felt right. The way he felt against my chest. I only thought women could fill that space there, but Vic seemed to fit perfectly, resting his forehead against my chest and trying not to get my jacket wet with his tears. Why would you be that considerate if you were in so much pain?

Another thing I hated about Vic. He was so nice it was almost impossible to hate him. It was just one of his many endearing qualities.

The man was practically a saint.

He worked through school as a straight A student, graduated with college and owned his own autobody business, which was a frequent visitation for celebrities and other stars. This made him rich and even so, he still did his best to care about others, donating his money and lavishing his nephews.

It made me so angry.

"Ace," Vic said quietly, making me glance at him again, watching him shift a little uneasily, "I'm sorry about freaking out like that. I just..."

"Don't apologize," I replied, "Every parent has that reaction if their child is in danger. I'm just glad Rick is going to be all right." Vic sighed with relief.

"Yea... I still don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight because of that scare." He breathed, shaking his head and starting for his car. I have no idea why, but my feet moved on their own and led me to his side as we walked. Our breathes clouded in front of us, dancing together in the air as snowflakes started to come down again. We both paused to look up.

"It's snowing again." Vic murmured.

"Yea." I didn't know what else to say. I wasn't looking at the sky anymore. I was looking at Vic. He looked so exhausted. His nose and cheeks were pink from the cold and he was staring up at the sky with a look of peace. I felt the sudden urge to hug him again, but restrained myself.

I hated feeling like this. I didn't want to like him. He was a man, it was wrong. I wanted to try and accept it, but if I accepted it... I accepted the fact that Vic was more than a friend and I couldn't do that.

I loved Cherri.

I forced myself to think of her beautiful face, her pretty blue eyes gazing at me as she stroked the sides of my face when I flopped into bed beside her. Her thin arms going around my torso, her head resting on my chest as she pressed herself against me, eyes closed in serenity.

I relaxed with that thought in mind as Vic looked at me again and I almost lost sight of Cherri in my mind, which made me want to kick myself.

"Thank you, Ace. Really. So much for tonight. I really needed help. I swear, I can't do anything right sometimes." He sighed.

"You can too," I blurted, making him glance at me curiously, "Don't put yourself down. You're a wonderful parent. It's not your fault Rick got sick. It happens and I know it's terrifying, but it's the past now. He's got help and he's got you. You don't need to worry anymore."

"I suppose you're right," He murmured and I watched a shiver of cold rack his body, "I'm just tired, I have no idea what I'm saying anymore. I guess I'll see you on Christmas."

"Right." I answered stiffly. I had the sneaking suspicion that my curtness hurt him, but he said nothing and just nodded before walking to his car, getting in. I didn't head to my truck until he pulled out of the parking lot. I sighed and went to my truck, climbing in and starting the engine as I blasted the heat.

"Thanks for taking your time." Devin said dryly. I rolled my eyes and pulled out of the parking lot, driving out onto the road.

"I'm gonna visit Rick tomorrow, can I borrow the truck?" He asked after a moment of silence. I frowned, debating the idea. I almost immediately yelled no. I mean, the doctor said it was possibly contagious and there was no way I wanted Devin to suffer that kind of agony. At the same time, I understood why he wanted to be by Rick's side in his time of need.

"I guess," I said at last, watching Devin relax against the seat, "But don't stay out too long. Your mom needs help around the house to clean up for when Danny moves back in." Devin nodded, then flashed me a grin.

"So. Danny said you and Vic were in the chapel? You preachin' him on being gay?" He asked. He was mocking me, but I was used to him being a brat sometimes. After all, he took after his mother.

"Actually, no," I answered dryly, "Vic was panicking and I was just doing my part as his friend to comfort him." Devin looked truly surprised at that.

"Seriously? No ranting and raving or screaming?"

"No."

"Damn, dad. You're getting better at this whole 'everyone around me is gay' thing!"

"Not everyone around me is gay, Devin."

"I'm gay. Danny's gay, but he still won't admit it. Blake's gay. Rick's gay. Vic's gay. Next thing you know, ma's gonna tell you she's in love with Mrs. Foxx and you'll get dumped."

"I knew I regretted teaching you how to talk."

"Oh, come on. It's the truth. She's been hanging out with Emily's ma an awful lot lately."

"They just go to the same gym and book club."

"And ma visits the gym every day."

"And I go with her half the time."

"Half the time. The other half of the time, she's with Mrs. Foxx."

"I'm going to ground you for a month if you don't stop talking."

"Yes, sir." Devin mocked, snorting indigenously and rolling his eyes. He folded his arms over his chest and slumped in his seat, pushing his lip out in a pout. Of course, that whole method of brooding stopped working on me once he turned thirteen.

And Cherri thought teenaged girls were bad.

Of course, I knew Devin was just teasing me. He had far more guts- or maybe he was just masochistic- to poke fun at me than Danny did. It was something that actually concerned me, to think that Danny was too scared of me to talk to me. Then again, I did deserve his avoidence. I had kicked him out of the house after finding out about him and Blake.

And every day I thought about it, I sorely regretted it with a passion. It stung to think that I had let my temper and past get in the way of my love for my son.

Danny and Devin were everything to me. I could remember the day Cherri ran up to me, tears streaming down her face as she informed me of her pregnancy. She was terrified and I remembered her father demanding she get an abortion, she wasn't capable of handling twins.

And oh god, did she cry when she found that out. She actually looked like she was considering it until I had taken her into my arms, promising that I'd do whatever I could to make her happy and comfortable. Her, me, and the twins. I remembered the nine months I doted on her, buying her everything she wanted and doing whatever I could to keep my promise. My mother had backed me up the entire way, tossing cash at me faster than I could catch it.

And the day Danny and Devin came into this world had become the happiest day of my life. I didn't realize how happy I'd be when I held them in my arms. The way they stared up at me like I was the most amazing person in the world. I felt so proud. They looked almost like Cherri with her same hair and eyes, her same lips.

Watching them grow up made me even more proud. I was shocked to find myself afraid the day they started school. I remembered Danny climbing to my pantleg and crying while Devin tried to drag him into the elementary school.

"You'll be fine, Danny. You won't get hurt." I told him, bending down to pick him up. It was such a small thing, but such a warm memory at the same time. Danny had gazed at me for the longest time, sniffling and whimpering for a while before he nodded and I let him down, watching Devin practically sprint into the school with Danny in tow.

Oh, god. And middle school. Danny had been terrified of going inside, again. He had hung back and refused to get on the bus. He even tried to make up excuses about how he was sick, but thanks to Devin, he made it to the bus and through the hectic drama of puberty.

"Dad, you just passed our house." Devin's declaration snapped me out of my stupor and I cursed rather loudly before easing down on the breaks to do a quick U-turn back. Devin was shaking his head.

"You're so old, already forgetting where we live." He scoffed.

"I didn't forget, I just wasn't paying attention."

"Thinking about ma?" Devin asked. Partially yes, partially no. I simply nodded as I pulled into the driveway, shutting the truck off. We climbed out and headed inside. Devin ran upstairs to go back to sleep and I went into the kitchen to see Cherri sitting at the dining table. She leapt up, her eyes red rimmed.

"Is he all right? I got your message." She was so worried, and about a kid that wasn't even hers. It was another thing about her that made my heart swell with adoration.

"For now. He caught a severe case of pneumonia, according to the doctor. They're keeping him over night and putting him on antibiotics." I answered. Cherri sighed with relief, then threw her arms around my neck in a hug. I put my arms around her and held her in return, sighing gently at the feel of her hot breath on my neck as she sniffled and snuggled against my shoulder.

She felt so small in my arms, like she'd slip if I didn't hold her tight enough. Unlike Vic, who fit perfectly-

No. No, no, no. Do not think about Vic. He's not yours. Your not his. He's a man. You're a man.

Think about Cherri. Cherri, who's been there all your life and always will be. The thought only made me hold Cherri tighter, making her gasp a little in surprise before pulling her head back to look at me curiously.

"Are you all right?" She asked, concern twinkling in her pretty blue eyes. The eyes that had been passed onto my beautiful sons, the eyes that seemed to hold me captive every time we locked our gazes.

"Yes. Just tired." I answered, ashamed at how easy the lie had escaped my mouth. I was surprised to see her nod and accept it, stepping back to smile.

"Then let's go to bed. Long day tomorrow, we need to get crackin' for the party. I take it Vic isn't going to go?" She asked, looking disappointed. My chest ached at the thought. It wasn't the fact that we were on the topic of Vic and I was trying to ignore him, but it was the fact that she was so oblivious to Vic being in love with me.

She didn't know her best friend loved me more than life itself, and the idea just made forgetting Vic even harder.

After eavesdropping -accidentally, mind you- on a conversation between Vic and his strange, irritating friend, Rex, I had discovered that Vic was in love with me and he didn't deny it, making the fact as clear as day. My first response was disgust.

Why me? Why did another man have to love me?

My second response was confusion, surprise, flattery. He loved me? I had been so cruel to him and yet, he did his best to be kind to me. He helped me and talked to me, treated me like a god. It made me ache with guilt and hurt, and more confusion because when I had been just about to leave his house the night of the snow storm, he stood there in the doorway, looking so alone. So tired and hurt.

Like a puppy that had been struck one too many times and pretended that it didn't bother him.

I couldn't stop myself from hugging him that time, mostly because the urge caught me off guard. Now, I did my very best to refrain from it. It would ruin my relationship with him, the mutual friendship that we had silently agreed upon. It would also ruin my relationship with Cherri and the thought of that terrified me to the core.

I couldn't lose Cherri. I loved her, wholly and truly.

So why do you have second thoughts when it comes to Vic? A voice in my head mocked me and I almost yelled out loud at myself, but Cherri was taking my hand and leading me to the stairs. I followed like a mechanical doll as we went upstairs. Passing Devin's bedroom, I saw the light was out, telling me he had fallen asleep not too long ago.

We went into the large master bedroom that was designed with an almost girly Victorian style that Cherri had pleaded me to keep. I was highly against the cutsie style, but saying no meant Cherri would be unhappy and that was simply not an option.

We changed into our pajamas; Cherri into a long cotton, ruffled pajama gown and her caramel hair falling from its loose ponytail as she slumped against the pillows with a sigh, trying to braid her hair as she waited for me to pull my pajama pants on.

"So, you remember Carmen," Cherri started, making me wince inwardly as she referred to Emily's mother, Mrs. Foxx, "Well, we were shopping for gifts, you know, last minute shopping. And she says to me that Emily is thinking about joining the book club. Can you believe she'd ever suggest such a thing after what her daughter did to Danny? I didn't say anything, though, I think she knew the idea pissed me off. That woman has some kind of Jedi mind tricks, you know that?"

"Jed mind tricks?" I echoed as I tossed my socks on the floor, watching Cherri scrunch up her nose in disgust out the corner of my eye.

"Yes, she knows everything about me! It's almost like she's stalking me. If you see her snooping in our yard, do me a favor and run her down with the Raptor. I like Carmen and everything, but Lord. She knows how to creep you out. Oh, speaking of creeping people out, pick up your socks, they're gross. No one likes to wake up to the smell of fresh foot stench."

"Why don't you? You do the laundry." Whoops. Lack of sleep and pounds of confusion seemed to have caught up with me to make such a stupid mistake. I watched Cherri's eyes narrow suspiciously, her arms folding over her chest.

"Yea, and?" She asked testily. I cleared my throat awkwardly as I sauntered to the bed, plopping in beside her and watching her stiffen, her back straightening in refusal to fall for any charms I might toss at her, and she was damn good at the whole refusal thing.

"And you do a wonderful job of it, thank you, honey."

"And your socks?"

"I'll get 'em in the morning."

"No, you're gonna get them now."

"Aw, come on, Cherri. I'm already in bed-"

"And you're already in bed in the morning too. Now go, Fido. Fetch!" She thrust her finger at the socks and I rolled my eyes.

I loved Cherri, don't get me wrong, but she simply had to make a big deal about my 'cleanliness'. I was a man, it wasn't my fault that it wasn't on the top of my priority list. I had seen plenty of wives clean up after their husbands and not complain. In fact, when my parents had been together, my mother always happily cleaned up the house, cooked dinner, did the shopping, and whatnot.

With Cherri, the boys did the house work half the time while Cherri made attempts at dinner and she made me do the shopping after or before work. She, on the other hand, usually hung around the house to decorate or take up some strange hobby. She had went from writing to painting to piano to book club and even to our sons' video games. She was a tornado of variety. Both a good thing and a bad thing.

I tossed the socks into the laundry hamper with the rest of my clothes from the day and crawled back into bed to find Cherri snuggling down under the covers. I sighed and reached out, shutting off the light and sliding under the covers. Within a few minutes, Cherri was cuddling up against me, her small body practically molding together with mine.

Her hand rested on my shoulder, her arm across my chest as she wedged her leg in between mine, her head against my other shoulder. I relaxed, sliding an arm over her shoulders and trying to get comfortable.

As soon as I closed my eyes, Vic's face came to my mind and my smile melted. I immediately opened my eyes to stare up at the ceiling, trying not to tense and jump.

Why? Why couldn't I stop thinking about him? I held no interest him, no interest that reached Cherri's limit anyway. She was in her own little universe of interest. Vic was just... slightly off to the side, I suppose.

I couldn't explain it. I didn't want to say I liked Vic. The very thought of it made me ache, everywhere. I mean, Vic was nice, yes. He was attractive, sure. He could do everything from fix cars to cook gourmet meals. Like Rex said, Vic was a saint. Even so, that wasn't any reason to love him.

I almost choked on my breathing.

No, not love. I didn't love Vic. I loved Cherri. Vic was just the slight attraction that I didn't want and needed to avoid, nothing more...

Please, let it stay that way.