Chapter Seven (Vic's POV)

"Finally." I hadn't realized I said it aloud until I turned to the dinner table to see the boys staring at me. Actually, Rick was glaring at me more than staring. I swiftly ignored him, though, as I walked away from the calender to the table.

It was finally Friday. I hadn't realized how much I was looking forward to this 'date' with Anthony until now. There were so many things wrong with this. Not only did we not know each other, but he was also a client and filthy stinking rich. He had to be an actor, or something.

I plopped down and started eating breakfast, trying to keep my mind off it.

"Why's it so good that it's Friday?" Danny asked obliviously. Poor Danny was so clueless. No wonder Blake liked him. It was cute, but so easy to exploit. I gave him a calm smile and went to answer for him, but Devin grinned.

"You got a date, don't you?" He asked. I swallowed, forcing the blush that was rising to my face back down as I set my fork down to shrug lightly.

"It's not a date. Just meeting with a client about something." I answered casually. Devin hummed in disagreement, still grinning as he ate his eggs. I was beginning to wonder if Rick was training him in the art of evilness. He was just getting worse and worse, teasing not just me, but pretty much everyone else and his wicked smile was becoming more and more addictive.

There was something about the Carter family that was so hard to ignore.

Which brought my thoughts to the one person I was trying to forget.

Ace Carter.

My chest tightened just thinking about him and the night we spent together during a snow storm with Rex hovering nearby the entire time. After all the talking and thinking, Ace finally seemed to accept things the way they were. He'd even told me over the phone that he planned to have the boys move back in with them until they found their apartments, or wherever they planned to live. He was also so excited about being back together with Cherri, but he never went into depth about it.

Not after he learned my feelings for him. He was cautious about how much he confessed his love for Cherri. In fact, he avoided the subject whenever we spoke. It was mostly business, work, friends, up coming events. Nothing about love or lust. And nothing about the hug he gave me before he left my house that day after the storm.

It just made me ache for him even more.

The way he practically engulfed me against him was probably the greatest feeling in the world. I had never had someone react that way when I confessed to them. The last two guys just stared at me as if I was some kind of creature that wasn't discovered yet. Of course, the second rejection was so much harsher than the first. Or so I thought... Now I was wondering if Ace's hurt more.

Especially since I couldn't forget him. He was everywhere. It was like God wanted me to face the fact that I would just stay single forever.

Don't be like that, a voice in the back of my head chided, you shouldn't get down. Besides, what about Anthony? What's not to like about him?

It was very true. Anthony was sweet when we first met. He wasn't shy at all and I admired that about him. He even tolerated Rick being obnoxious and that was very hard to get used to. And his dimples. Why'd he have to have those dimples?

I sighed wistfully and finished my breakfast. I moved like a robot for the rest of the morning as I washed the dishes and cooked up something for lunch for the boys before I headed to Cherri's. She had called the day before asking if I could come help her rearrange her living room for the book club she had with all her girlfriends.

I was envious of the amount of friends she had. Cherri was one of the biggest social butterflies I'd ever met. She was talkative, sweet, cheerful. One of the few women I could tolerate being around. I had always wanted to be like that, but for some reason, the more I tried to be social, the more I realized that it just wasn't going to work. I wasn't the type of person to be surrounded by such a huge social circle.

I only knew the people that I had employed, a couple guys from the bar on 67th Street, but they were mostly Rex's friends and only hung out with me because Rex told them to. The thought made me roll my eyes. Rex was always getting into my business, and of course now I knew why, but that still gave him no right to come over uninvited, beg me to hang out, ask me to take off work, and other things his psychotic mind could come up with.

I scrunched up my nose in distaste as I pulled into Cherri's driveway, only to have my face fall and my heart clench when I saw Ace's truck sitting in the driveway, caked in the layer of snow that had recently fallen.

Fantastic.

What a great way to start off my supposedly wonderful Friday. Not only did I just make myself depressed by thinking too much, but now I'd have to watch the man I love snuggle with his wife.

Yikes, since when did I get so jealous?

I got out of my car and headed up to the door, but I didn't even have to knock as Cherri answered the door, dressed in a pair of baggy blue sweatpants to match the football jersey she wore over a gray thermal shirt. Her pretty caramel hair was tied up in a loose bun, strands hanging over her precious blue eyes. If I were interested in women, Cherri'd be the first one on my list.

I mentally slapped myself.

The Carters were cursed. Or maybe that was just me.

"Hey, Vic! Saw you pull up and got over excited," She laughed, stepping aside to let me in before shutting the door behind me, "Jeez, it's cold out there! I hear the temperature's supposed to rise by Tuesday, though. I sure hope so, I could use a good jog down the road before Christmas. Bet you ten bucks I'll be putting on several pounds with all the food."

"Oh, please," I drawled, hanging my coat up on the rack, "You're still as slender and pretty as ever, Cherri." Is it just me or did women always worry about the most insignificant things? Gain weight my butt, Cherri had the body of Marilyn Monroe. One that actresses would kill to have. My compliment made her blush pink and flash me one of her cutesy grins.

"You're so sweet, Vic," She said, patting my arm and leading me to the living room, "Well, we have a bigger group coming in tonight. We have a couple of new girls joining, so we'll probably have to bring in one of the old sofa's from the garage. Ace is going to help too as soon as he gets his ass out of the shower. I swear, he just takes showers to use up all the hot water. That man is such a scrooge about the snow."

"Seeing as he plowed into a ditch the other night, I wouldn't be surprised." I blurted, then mentally kicked myself. I have such a big mouth sometimes. I watched Cherri look at me with wide eyes.

"You know about that?" She asked. Judging from her look, Ace had given her an altered story about what happened the night he drove into a ditch while drunkenly fleeing his loneliness while Cherri went out with friends.

"Ace came by the shop so I could check out his truck." I lied smoothly. I hated lying to her, but thank goodness she was a gullible, because she nodded slowly.

"Makes sense. I really hate it when he tries to drive in bad weather. He's a stubborn jackass."

"Thanks a lot." Cherri and I looked up as Ace came into the living room, wearing snug black jeans and a matching sweater. Cherri grinned.

"I could've lied, honey, but I'm on an honest streak right now." She answered. Ace smiled, then he looked at me and I saw him forcing it. He probably felt awkward with Cherri and I in the same room, and the fact that we were both lying to his wife about why he didn't hate me anymore.

"Hey, Vic." He greeted casually. I just nodded in his direction before looking at Cherri as she clapped her hands together.

"All righty! Let's get to work fixing this place up! I gotta impress these girls. You have no idea how difficult it is to please those prissy women. Sometimes, I think you men have it so much easier." She pointed out. Ace just snorted and I said nothing as she instructed us on what to do.

The whole time, I did my best to ignore Ace and Cherri flirting. I couldn't get mad at Cherri for it, though. She was my friend and she didn't know I loved her husband, and I wanted it to stay that way. I wanted to keep the few friends that I had, as well as the peace that just seemed too difficult to find nowadays.

We pushed the television set back, rearranging the furniture to create a large circle on the outer edges of the room with the coffee table in the middle. Cherri had Ace and I go out to the garage to fetch the extra sofa that was smashed into the corner.

"So, how's everything at the shop?" Ace asked honestly as we lifted the sofa. I glanced at him before going back to watching my feet so that I didn't clumsily trip and drop the sofa on his feet.

"Fine. Got a new client. Wondering why I haven't fired Rick yet." I answered. Ace chuckled quietly.

"He still being a pain in the ass?"

"More than you know. The therapy did wonders for his anger. It just hasn't gotten around to fixing that sarcastic attitude of his. If I did fire him, he probably wouldn't be able to pick up another job, though." I explained. I wasn't doubting Rick, I was just being realistic. Rick wasn't nice to anyone. Except Devin.

At times, I found myself envying their relationship and at the same time, I was so happy to see Rick smiling. I'd walk in every so often, finding them curled up together with Devin teasing Rick, who was truly smiling at him. I could just feel the affection he held for Devin radiating off him whenever they were together.

"How're Devin and Danny?" Ace asked after we moved out of the garage, struggling to carry the sofa through the hall to the living room.

"All right. Devin's been looking into college after he was offered a scholarship for basketball. Danny's been job hunting, but he's having some issues. I don't think he can find anything that'll accept him without a college degree."

"I told him to try the community college," Ace sighed, "It's a great college. I went there before I went to state. They have all kinds of classes."

"I guess he's still scared of going back to school. All the people." I replied. Ace frowned, but said nothing. I knew what he was thinking, though.

The reason Danny was afraid of school was the fact that his once trusted friends had sent out a picture of him and Blake together. This fired up the students and they began to pick on him. They even jumped him when he was alone, according to Blake. In all honesty, it pissed me off that kids were so cruel. Blake said Danny was fawned over before they found out Danny was gay. It was like a light switch to them and as soon as Danny turned the light on, they turned around and shut it off, leaving him in the dark.

I had tried to talk him into going to college, but he was using pointless excuses. His parents had no money. He had no time. He didn't want to leave Blake. He didn't want to deal with school. It all boiled down to the fact that he was scared. Scared of people in general. It was sad to think that a bunch of stupid kids had scared him into being shy in public.

We finally moved the sofa to the living room and it looked all ready for a book club to get together and read lousy books, like Twilight and books by Nora Roberts. Cherri seemed pleased a smile sweeping across her face before she jumped up and pecked me on the cheek in approval, then throwing her arms around Ace's neck to hang onto him as she kissed him smack on the lips.

I averted my eyes to avoid staring at them. Even so, I could still hear Cherri saying how much she loved him and him murmuring his sweet responses. My chest hurt.

I checked the time and breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, it was nearly eight and I was ready to leave all of this behind.

"Well," I sighed, "Glad I could help you out, Cherri. I hope you book club goes well, but I gotta hit the road now."

"So soon?" Cherri asked in disappointment.

"I have a date." I admitted. Ace's eyes locked on me and I was surprised to see an immediate look of distaste. I probably should've lied, but I was so tired of lying to everyone. Cherri blinked, then grinned.

"Ohhh? And who's the lucky guy, huh?" She asked eagerly. Another thing about women. For some strange reason, they thought it was just adorable that two men were dating. I could see it if you were looking at a couple of high schoolers, but me? No way.

"Just someone I met recently." I replied shortly. Cherri pouted rather comically and opened her mouth to argue, but Ace patted her shoulder.

"Why don't you grab some of those cookies and fudge you wanted Vic to take home?" He asked and she immediately nodded, giving me a quick wink before heading off to the kitchen. I watched her go, frowning before looking at Ace, to find him staring at me with the same look I'd seen Rick give me in the garage.

"Someone you just met recently?" He asked. I was shocked to hear hostility in his tone.

"Yes. It's no big deal." I responded. Ace wasn't buying it as he folded his arms over his chest.

"Right. What's his name?" He asked. This time, I couldn't stop the shock from showing on my face as I dropped my arms to my sides.

"What? Ace, it's really none of your business. I didn't think you were interested in my type of relationships." I replied heatedly. Ace's frown deepened.

"I never said that. Have I met him before? Did you two even talk?"

"I'm not discussing this with you," I answered curtly, then went silent as Cherri came in with a big smile and holding a cute tin box with a puppy on it, "Thanks, Cherri. I'll be sure to make something for the Christmas dinner next week. I'll talk to ya later."

"All righty, bye, Vic!" Cherri beamed, then went to place the book for her book club out on the coffee table. I went to the door and, surprisingly, Ace was following me right to the door. I went to open it and leave, but Ace put his hand on the door. I glared at him.

"Ace, I have to go."

"Tell me his name."

"Drop it, Ace. If you don't, I'll tell Cherri the real reason you drove into a ditch the other night." I was caught off guard by my threat and ended up staring at Ace, who stared right back at me with an equal expression of surprise before he lifted his hand off the door. I immediately fled the house, almost jumping into my car and screeching out of the driveway unintentionally as I headed back home quickly to get dressed in better clothes and to grab the directions Anthony had given me.

All the while, I was confused.

Why did Ace give a damn about who I dated? He was back together with Cherri. They were happy together. He reminded me of that every time we spoke. So why in heaven's name was he getting all suspicious about my moving on? Was I even moving on? What did that even mean? I still dreamt about Ace. I still wished that he would hold me again. I still wished that he'd love me. Could I really move on and fall in love with Anthony instead?

No.

The word hung heavy in my head and I debated calling Anthony to cancel the date. I was feeling depressed again, but I couldn't use that as an excuse to be rude. I sighed miserably. This day was supposed to be better, but it just got a whole lot worse.

I forced myself to focus on my driving as I got home, putting Cherri's treats in a cupboard hidden away from the boys. No doubt Danny would be hunting around for them. The kid could eat three whole cakes from the bakery and not gain a single pound, nor be completely full. He was almost as bad as Rick and his Wendy's addiction.

I went upstairs and showered before dressing in a black sweater over a blue button up shirt, throwing on a pair of black jeans. I debated brushing my hair, then decided to be lazy and just towel dry it before I headed downstairs.

Rick was just coming in, shivering as he coughed weakly into the collar of his jacket. Without a doubt, his pink nose, watery eyes, and flushed face was a sign of a bad cold.

"Oh my god." I managed. Rick rolled his eyes before sneezing, then scowling at me.

"It's just a cold."

"That or the flu. Go up to your room and I'll warm you up some soup."

"Ugh, why? Don't you have a date with Mr. Jaguar?" Rick snorted. I frowned. Of course he didn't call Anthony by his name. It was either Mr. Jaguar or Prissy Pants.

"Room. Now." I commanded. Rick opened his mouth to comment, but coughed harshly for a few seconds before reluctantly trudging up the stairs. I heard his bedroom door slam as I drifted into the kitchen to warm him up some soup. My parental instincts kicked in and I was fetching NiQuil, soup, and a cold cloth for his forehead. I warmed up a mug of chamomile tea too for an added measure.

I used one of my China trays to take everything up to him, peeking into his room. He was curled up under his blankets, shivering and coughing into his pillow. I sighed and walked in, carrying the tray to his dresser and placing it down. He groaned.

"You made tea." He complained.

"I made tea," I answered sternly, "And you're going to drink it, unless you want me to get Devin in here to make you."

"Che." Even though it was a retort of refusal, he sat up anyway and I set the tray in his lap, taking the cloth and patting his forehead.

"I wanna sleep." Rick grunted, sounding horribly congested.

"That's what the NiQuil is for. Take the recommended dose and eat all your soup. Then I want the lights out and you in bed by the time I get back." I commanded. Rick glared at me.

"You're not really going out with that priss, are you?" He asked. I frowned, standing up straight.

"Rick, I don't want to argue about this right now. I'm already late as it is. You're a big boy, you can take care of yourself."

"Who gives a shit about me? I'm talkin' about you."

"Since when did you care what I do?"

"Since because," Rick replied in a very poorly mocking voice before he went into a coughing fit and I patted his back gently, rubbing between his shoulder blades until he slumped back against the headboard of his bed, "Ughhh. I feel like I was hit by a truck..."

"Then eat up and go to sleep. I'll have Devin check on you later."

"Nuh uh. Why don't you just stay home?"

"Rick, please. I'll be back in a couple of hours. Don't worry."

"It's not that," Rick groaned, rubbing his temples, "Guh. You're giving me a fucking headache. Give me Advil."

"Take the NiQuil. I have to go now, Rick." I ignored Rick's stuffy protests and left his room, heading downstairs to where Devin and Danny were watching one of the movies they bought on Netflix.

"Devin?" I asked. Devin looked up rather sleepily.

"Check on Rick later. He's got a fever and please, don't let him breath on you. I can have you all getting sick." I said. Devin cocked a brow at me, then nodded slowly. Danny grinned.

"Have fun on your date!" He teased.

"Thanks." I deadpanned, then grabbed my coat from the rack and went out to the car, getting in and following the directions to the older neighborhood. I drove slowly, not just because of the layer of snow hiding ice on the roads, but because I was nervous.

Here I am. Thirty-freaking-eight-years-old and I'm terrified of going on a date. Maybe because it was the first official date I've ever gone on? I'm so pitiful, I realized with a wince, then paused as I came to a stop in front of Anthony's house. I saw his Jaguar and a Hummer sitting in the driveway. I parked on the side of the road and got out, taking slow baby steps to the door.

Stay calm, Vic. There's nothing to be worried about. You've met him before, not completely, but formally. Enough to not be so uneasy. Talking to him was easy, so why did it feel so hard now?

I had just stepped up onto the wraparound porch when the door flew open. I stopped dead in my tracks as a rather angry looking man came out of the house. He was dressed in an expensive black suit with his tie undone, his shirt partially unbuttoned. His dark eyes were flaring with so much anger, I could just feel the heat of it. He stopped as soon as he saw me.

"And who the hell are you?" He demanded, his voice raspy and young. He looked like he was at least nineteen or twenty.

"Uh." Was my intelligent response and he glared even more. Suddenly, Anthony was coming up behind him, looking relieved to see me, but irritated with this other guy. Or maybe the other way around?

"Vic! Glad you're here. Give me a second while I call the cops on this brat." He said, giving the other man a none-too-kind shove in the back so he stumbled out onto the porch. The man whirled around, giving Anthony the scariest look I'd ever seen.

"Fuck you, Anthony Stewart, you lying bastard! This is the kind of guy you're interested in now? You are such a freaking whore, you know that?! You think because you have money you can just buy people, then throw them away?! Kuh!" He whirled to face me now and I stiffened.

"Get out while you still can, old man. This guy is just going to play you like a fiddle and throw you out like last Sunday's paper. Trust me, I would know. I was the last idiot who fell for those dimples." Without another word, he was storming off the porch and climbing into the Hummer, slamming his door shut and squealing out of the driveway, leaving the smell of burning rubber in his wake.

It took me a couple minutes to unfreeze myself before I looked at Anthony, who grimaced for a second, then looked at me apologetically.

"Ignore him. He's being a drama queen. He's just a student of mine and he mistook my attention for affection." He replied.

"Student?" I asked dryly. Even as he said it, I still felt an aching in my chest. Was that guy right? Anthony did have that playboy look about him. And it stung even more that the kid accused me of being old. As if I wasn't already beating myself up over that and the more I looked at Anthony, the more I dwelled on that fact. Anthony was so young and handsome, meanwhile, I was old and plain.

"I'm a professor at the state college. He's just one of my best students." Anthony explained shortly.

"Right," I said slowly, then looked toward my car, "Well, this is probably a bad time. I'll just come back another time." Anthony's smile fell and so did those dimples.

"It's perfectly fine. I'm not doing anything else. We can go somewhere nice. I heard there was a nice restaurant near the corner of 67th and 8th." He offered quickly. Obviously he was bribing me now. I couldn't stop the kid's voice from echoing in my head as he insulted Anthony for paying off his dates.

"I don't know... My nephew's sick at home, I probably should've just called you ahead of time instead of showing up like this." And there was my excuse to leave, but it hurt so much to watch Anthony's face fall into an all out sad look.

"Oh," He was obviously disappointed and the tone of his voice stung, "All right..." I couldn't believe I was going to do this.

"Well, he's old enough to take care of himself and he always has his brother to take care of him," I said slowly, watching those dimples come back to Anthony's face, "Just give me directions to the restaurant."

"Gladly." Anthony beamed and quickly grabbed his jacket from inside before locking up and following me to my car. The whole time I felt like jumping into a hole and never coming out. I was not just nervous, but embarrassed by the incident with Anthony's student. It wasn't just being reminded of being old, but it was just the awkwardness of being yelled at. I hated being yelled at.

"So," Anthony said after we got on the freeway towards town, "Your nephews live with you?" I nodded slowly, keeping my eyes on the road.

"Yes. They're parents weren't fit to take care of them."

"Mm. I know how that is. My parents weren't exactly the most giving people in the world."

"Oh?"

"Yup. I ended up in foster care by the time I was ten, but it was all right with me. I ended up with a better family, way bigger too so I had plenty of people to socialize with. How about your nephews? What're they like?"

"Uh," I was debating whether I should sugar-coat it or not, but ended up shrugging and being honest, "I suppose they like living with me better. Rick is still a bit of a pain in the ass, but he's been rather mellow lately. Blake's always been sort of quiet and he does cook every so often when I'm not there to do it."

"You cook?"

"Yea."

"What's your favorite thing to cook?"

"I'm not sure," I admitted, "I guess I'm a sucker for stir fry or roasts. I just have fun throwing in different types of seasonings every time and it takes the longest to cook most of the time since I move slowly."

"So you like cooking."

"Definitely."

"That's neat," Anthony nodded, "Cooking is a great skill to have and, I'm not just saying that because I'm the biggest pig in the world. I love the kitchen. Good place to chat and get to know people. It's just that room of the house where everything's so warm and friendly."

"I couldn't agree more." I replied. Anthony smiled and I melted. I hadn't felt this comfortable with someone in a long time. The fact that I could admit to cooking without feeling awkward or embarrassed was so warm.

We made it to the restaurant and got a table for two. I ignored the weird look the waitress gave us, as I was used to people automatically judging me. I just didn't like it, but there was no point in making a scene. It wasn't my style. I was calm, composed.

Most of the time anyway.

"Amazing," Anthony exclaimed as we looked at our menus, "They have escargo! Have you ever tried it?"

"Yes. I took a class on cooking in college and we took a trip to France."

"That's awesome, you went straight to the heart of real French cuisine! I'm so jealous. Did you see the Effel Tower? Do you speak French?"

I actually found myself enjoying this date. We both talked and talked. I learned so much about him just that night. He went to a school out of state and was originally going to go into acting until he met a teacher at his high school that inspired him to become a teacher of drama at the college. He seemed to love his foster family very much and he adored his job. He talked about his foster sister, the reporter with a knack for spewing lots of rumors.

I felt so comfortable by the time we finished eating that I could feel myself smiling more often. The best part was that he didn't break eye contact with me so I could admire those hazel eyes of his, the gold flecks glinting in the lights above us.

I felt like I was forgetting all the bad parts of my day, of my life as I sat there listening to him talk and ask questions.

By the time the date was over, I was a little disappointed. I drove back to his house to drop him off, listening to him talk the whole way back home.

"This was great," Anthony smiled at me as we stood on his porch now, flakes of snow dancing to the ground, "We really need to do it again sometime."

"I'd like that." I replied honestly. Anthony seemed to smile a little more and opened the door to his house, gesturing for me to come in. I felt my face burn, and not because of the cold.

"Uhm..."

"Just for a bit." Anthony urged. I don't know why I did it. I was so very stupid. I walked past him into the house, inhaling the sweet scent of vanilla as he closed the door behind us. Anthony sighed, smiling at me.

"Home sweet home."

"This is a really nice place." I mused, scanning the large staircase that sat in the living room that led to the old fashioned kitchen and a dining room. It was nice for an old house and I could tell he'd redone the walls and floors with a cherry color. Anthony just nodded in response, scanning the house, then he stood in front of me. I gave him a curious stare, but it didn't last long as he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me.

I felt goose bumps rise on my flesh, my eyes widening as his lips pressed against mine for a split second before he slid his tongue out, sliding it along my lower lip. He dipped his tongue in my mouth and I felt shivers course through me as a sudden desire to kiss him back took a hold of me.

He put his arms around me, bringing me flush against his body and I could feel the hardness in his groin press against mine, making me gasp against his lips. In the next few seconds, I found myself pressed against his front door, his hands wandering down until he was cupping my backside and giving me a squeeze.

"Too fast." I managed against his mouth, turning my head away to pant for air. Anthony let go of me, taking a step back, looking embarrassed.

"Sorry. It's just... I've been trying to control myself all night. You're so cute." He replied honestly and my face caught fire with embarrassment.

"I'm old, how is that cute?" I blurted. Anthony blinked, disbelief crossing his face before he stepped up to me again, holding my face in his hands. His hands were so warm against my face, his breath hot on my mouth.

"You're not old, Vic," He murmured, "You're still young and beautiful, and you always will be."

"Of course you'd say that, you're not turning forty in a couple years." I muttered. Anthony huffed and gave my cheeks a pinch, making me gasp.

"Don't be silly. Forty's not old. It's perfect. A nice ripe age, with a nice ripe body." He ducked his head down and kissed me, stealing my breath. I couldn't stop the moan from rising in my throat as he sucked and nibbled on my lower lip, making it sore. He sank his hands into my hair, his fingers curling against my scalp before he dropped his hands to my chest, pushing my jacket so it slid off my arms and hit the floor.

This is going too fast, I told myself, but it was so hard to ignore the aching between my legs, in my chest. Anthony pulled his lips away from mine, but they were still brushing together as I panted against his mouth.

"You're so, so adorable, Vic. I want to taste you." He breathed, nuzzling his nose against mine. I didn't know what to say. I could just blame the haze of lust for my next stupid act. I leaned up against him, bringing my lips to his again with no intention of pulling away. I felt his hands quickly pulling my sweater up and tossing it aside. His fingers worked quickly on my buttons as I fumbled to shove his coat off.

I hadn't felt this... lustful in a long time. It was aching. I felt so needy. I didn't just want this, I needed it. No amount of conscious or logic was going to stand in my way. I moaned as Anthony finally ripped my clothes off. I couldn't believe I was feeling so shy as I stood there naked, his lips trailing over my nipple, his tongue pressing wetly against my bare skin.

"Make more sounds for me, Vic," Anthony murmured against my skin, his hand reaching down between my legs to give me a gentle squeeze, enough so that I gasped before letting a moan spill past my lips, "I want to know that I'm making you feel good. I want you to know how much I love you."

Immediately, something inside me snapped.

I was scared. What did he mean he loved me? No, we just met! Who cares if we talked all night long about everything, even our inner most thoughts? Who cares if he was so sweet and nice to me?

I didn't love him.

I loved Ace.

"Vic, are you all right?" Anthony was standing up, looking at me worriedly and placing a hand on my cheek, his thumb brushing my eyelashes. I tugged away from him, but I hit the door behind me, shaking my head.

"I need to go." I managed, stooping quickly and snatching up my clothes, bundling them against me as I suddenly felt self-conscious and humiliated. I scrambled into my jeans and shirt, ignoring the way the buttons didn't match up and my sweater was crooked. I didn't even put my coat on and just threw it over my arm.

"Vic, I'm sorry-"

"It's not your fault," I interrupted quickly, my heart racing in desperation to get out, "I just think I should go home right now. Thank you very much for tonight." Maybe we can do it again sometime, I wanted to say, but I was just too freaked out and quickly went out the door without another word, heading to my car and jumping in.

I didn't breath until I was on the freeway, sighing deeply and squeezing my eyes shut for a split second before I watched the road.

I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe I was about to do that. I'm so stupid. I was so desperate to have someone love me that I was resorting to just sleeping with him on the first night? Oh God, I'm horrible.

And at that last moment, all I could think of was Ace.

My heart throbbed with pain as I drove slower, watching my vision blur.

Oh shit, no. I'm not going to cry over this. I won't cry over this. I'm not a kid anymore...

It didn't matter what I told myself because within seconds, I could feel hot paths trailing down my cheeks as I drove in silence, the only sound was the howling wind outside that had begun to pick up the snow and throw it around along with the windshield wipers hissing.

I can't believe how stupid I am... Why was I so desperate for love? I was happy without it, right? I had two beautiful nephews and their wonderful boyfriends. I had a couple great friends. I had a successful business. I had hobbies.

Was I just spoiled?

Even after I pulled up into the driveway, I just sat there staring out the windshield, letting my face cool off as I shut the car off. I finally stopped crying and got out of the car, moving slowly into the house to find most of it dark. No music, no television. Everyone had probably gone to bed by now.

I walked into the kitchen and went straight to the fridge. I glanced down the hallway and into the dining room before I reached into the fridge and took out a bottle of Rick's Budlight. I popped the cap off and took a deep swig, wincing at the disgusting bitter flavor. I leaned on the kitchen island, just taking gulps and trying not to gag on the taste.

I just wanted to sleep tonight. Sleep heavily and never wake up.

I sighed, dropping my forehead against the counter and setting the bottle down.

"What happened?" I jerked my head up and knocked the bottle off the counter. It fell to the floor with an ear-shattering crash, the rest of the alcohol splattering across the tiles as brown bits of glass scattered.

"Shit!" I cursed, then looked up to see Rick standing in the archway to the kitchen, looking exhausted, but annoyed. I glared at him.

"Don't do that! Don't ever do that again! You could've given me a heart attack! And what're you doing awake? I told you to go to bed!" I snapped. Rick scowled, walking over and pausing around the mess as I scrambled to grab a towel, moping up the liquid and picking up pieces of glass.

"Oh, shut up. I'm twenty-five. I don't need you to tell me what to do. Now answer my question, what happened?" He demanded.

"You don't talk to me that way, Rick Patterson. Go upstairs and sleep. I really don't have time for you." I responded, then winced at how harsh that had sounded. Rick didn't care. He never did. He'd built up a thick enough wall to deflect what I said. Unfortunately, whatever was reflected, came back at least tenfold.

"Of course not," Rick replied icily, "You're too busy thinking about that Stewart guy and helping Cherri and Ace with the Christmas party. Too busy working with stuck up rich ass clients. I can talk to you anyway I want. I'm old enough to not be scared of some faggot old guy who can't even punch worth shit."

"I'm sorry." I managed at last, sitting on my knees as I stared at the mess I'd made. My chest felt tight and so did my throat. I couldn't understand why I was feeling like this. I was so confused, and so hurt.

"Don't apologize," Rick snapped, "That's why people can push you around so easily! Stanton was right when he said you were just a push over." I flinched.

"Please leave me alone." I didn't look up, but I could feel Rick relaxing. He got down on his knees on the floor to look at me with a deep frown.

"What's up, V? I haven't see you like this since you met Devin's dad. That guy didn't do something, did he? Cuz if he did, I'm going to crush his Jaguar like a tin can and rip his teeth from his head." He muttered. I looked up, meeting Rick's gorgeous icy gaze. It wasn't cold, though. Not like his father's. I could see that he was actually curious and not trying to hurt me. He was just responding to my rudeness. I sighed, running a hand through my hair in frustration.

"I don't know... He didn't do anything. It was my fault."

"What'd you mean?"

"We just met and it felt really nice to talk to someone about everything and I just felt so stupid. I can't go into detail. I just know I did something really, very stupid..." I said quietly. Rick studied my face for a moment, then seemed to come to his own conclusion.

"It's not stupid. You just don't like being alone."

"I'm not. I have you and Blake. Devin and Danny. Cherri and Ace. Rex, Roger, and everyone else... I'm just so... spoiled. I'm just like my clients." I muttered, covering my face with my hands as if it could hide the shame I'd built up, but it didn't work.

"You're not spoiled just because you wanna be loved," Rick offered, making me glance up at him in surprise and he scowled at the look, "Oh, what? I can't be poetic either? Fuck that. It's the truth. Ain't nothin' wrong with wanting someone to hold onto, someone to talk to, someone to trust, someone you want to live with forever. If you like that Anthony guy so much, there's nothing wrong with it."

"That's just it," I managed, "I don't know if I do or not."

"Why'd ya say that?" Rick asked with a frown. I couldn't tell him that I loved Devin's father. It'd just make things so much worse.

"There's someone else I know I love and it just feels strange to be with Anthony and not that other person, even though I know I can't be with that other person." I explained carefully. Rick scrunched up his nose, making him look like a cute little kid again.

"That makes no sense."

"No duh."

"Just forget about the other guy then and focus on Anthony, even though I feel like he's a douchebag."

"It's too hard."

"You've pulled yourself out of deeper shit before and I know you can do this."

"Is there a reason you're trying to comfort me? You want money or something?" I asked flatly. Rick frowned, standing up and putting his fists on his hips, cocking his head down at me.

"Nah. It must be the fever fogging my mind. And the NiQuil." He lied. I smiled and he looked bashful now, looking away and ruffling his hair.

"So, I'mma head back to bed. Don't wake me up for breakfast, I'm sleepin' in."

"Sounds good. Good night, Rick."

"Night, Vic." Rick gave me a sleepy wave and headed off down the hallway as I sat there on my knees, watching him disappear before I continued to clean up my mess, feeling more relaxed now. I think I just needed to vent, I told myself with a confident nod. So, tomorrow I'd call Anthony and apologize. After all, my sudden fleeing was so outrageously rude...

And then I'd treat Anthony to some dinner, because maybe I did like Anthony more than I thought I did... Maybe almost as much as Ace...

Maybe.