Chapter Four (Vic's POV)

I woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. I had no idea when I fell asleep, how, and what I dreamt of, I just know it was horrible. I finally caught my breath and looked to see that the candles had gone out, except for one that was sitting in the center of the coffee table. It sent an eerie, warm glow across the living room, making shadows dance across the walls.

I looked over and saw Ace fast asleep, rolled one his side and breathing gently with his hair a mess from rolling around and his clothes twisted around him as he seemed to be snuggled close under the blanket. Glancing over at Rex, I saw he too was curled up tightly, holding the blanket against him.

It took me a moment to realize that it really was cold. I shivered and shoved the blankets back. I had to change. These pajamas just weren't warm enough, and neither were my guests. There had to be more blankets around here somewhere.

I rose quietly, grabbing my flashlight and lighting the way up the stairs as I went to fetch more blankets. I changed into a turtleneck and slipped on a sweatshirt with two pairs of sweatpants before coming back downstairs, carrying another pile of blankets I'd stashed in my bedroom closet.

I placed them on the edge of the sofa Ace slept on as I unfolded one and gently laid it over him. I hesitated, though, watching him sleep.

Oh, don't be disgusting, Vic. A voice in my head hissed at me, making me wince. Don't sit there and watch him. It's over. He doesn't like you, he never will. But look on the bright side! You still have Blake, Rick, Danny, and Devin... For another year or so. I tried not to groan and shook my head, quickly ducking away from him and walking over to Rex.

I unfolded a blanket and laid it over him. I gasped, however, when I felt his hands take mine.

"Rex?" I asked, surprised. I could've sworn he was asleep. Rex smiled sleepily up at me., his thumbs gently brushing across my knuckles. I felt goose bumps fly across my skin, my breath catching in my throat.

You're kidding me.

"You look so cute tonight, Vicky. Your hair's all messy and you're all bundled. Are you cold?" He asked. He sounded drowsy. Was he still half asleep? I gently tugged my hands away from his, rubbing them together only to have him reach out and take them again.

"Sorta." I admitted uneasily.

"You can crawl under the blankets with me, it's nice and warm." He winked playfully at me and I scowled, jerking my hands away to shove them into the pockets of my sweatshirt.

"Quit screwing around. Go back to sleep, the power's still out... I'm going to try calling the boys again, can I see your cell?" I asked. Rex studied my face in the dimly lit room for a while, his green eyes almost glowing with something I couldn't place before he nodded and reached into his pocket, taking it out and handing it to me. I nodded my thanks and left the living room, walking into the kitchen as I dialed Rick's number.

"Did you know it's bad luck to wake a tiger up?" Rick greeted me hoarsely. I could tell I'd just woken him up, which I know for a fact was one of his pet peeves, but I had to relieve some of my nervousness.

"Sorry," I apologized, "Are you guys still all right? Is the power still off there? How's your brother doing? The twins?" I heard shifting and Devin mumbling sleepily in the background. I felt a smile tug at my lips when I heard Rick softly telling him to go back to sleep.

"Yea, we're fine, Vic. Man, you worry too much. Nah, the guy turned the generator on, so we still have electricity. Thank God, it's horrible outside. And meathead is sleeping somewhere upstairs with Danny. Devin's down here with me." Rick explained, sounding exhausted.

"Okay," I said slowly, "Just checking... Remember, as soon as this storm is over, come straight home, all of you, no detours."

"Yea, yea," Rick paused, "Vic, you okay? Like, not that I care, but you sound like you've been watching Titantic or the Young and The Restless again."

"Oh, shut up. I don't watch either of those," I snorted, then grimaced as I ran my finger along the kitchen countertop thoughtfully, "Just not feeling well. The power's out and it's freezing."

"Seriously? It's still out? You're filthy stinking rich and you couldn't afford a back up generator?"

"What'd I look like? The Home Improvement team? I'm a mechanic."

"Che, well, just get all the extra blankets and stay in the bed then."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Rex is here."

"Ew," Rick groaned, "Then stay away from the bed."

"Oh, don't be so immature."

"I'm not," Rick grunted in irritation, "I just don't like that creep. He's always hitting on you and it's just so wrong." I felt a cold sliver of uneasiness race up my spine as I cocked my head to glance toward the living room, then back out the window to see that it was pitch black, hiding even the snow.

"What'd you mean?" I asked hesitantly.

"Vic, you're almost forty and you don't even know when someone's hitting on you? No wonder you're single. He's practically spelling it out for you. What if he does something to you? That'd be, just... No."

"I'm fine, uh. I can handle it."

"No, you can't. Think of it this way. You're the damsel in distress and he's King Kong on the Empire State building and there are no planes firing at him to save you."

"Thanks for the imagary," I muttered dryly, "But I'm fine, Rick. Who do you think took those self-defense classes with you when you were a kid? Look, I gotta go. I'm gonna leave the front door unlocked so you boys can get in. Try and call before you get here, hopefully the lines will be working by then."

"All right, sure. Talk to ya later."

"Bye." I hung up, placing the cell phone on the counter top and sighing as I ran a hand through my hair in frustration, watching it fall over my eyes. I grimaced and pushed off the counter, only to bump into someone's chest. I froze, then whipped around to see Rex grinning at me. I grabbed at my chest, leaning back against the counter.

"Lord Allmighty, Rex," I cried angrily, "Don't do that! I'm too old for you to be sneaking up on me like that!" Rex snorted and reached around me to get his cell phone back, tucking it away before he put his hands on his hips.

"Honey, puh-lease. You're just jumpy. How're the boys?" He asked seriously now, tilting his head to look at me. I could hear Rick's voice in the back of my mind, warning me about Rex, but I simply shook my head.

"They're fine," I answered, still leaning against the counter so I wasn't touching Rex, "The guy who owns the place there has a back up generator, so better there than here. I think I might just go back to sleep." Rex looked like he was going to say something, shrugged, then smiled at me for a while.

Neither of us said anything. We just stood there, him just staring at me intently and my eyes anywhere, but his face. For once, Rex was making me uneasy. He couldn't possibly like me. I always thought of him as just a really good friend, the older brother I never had. Besides, Rex liked- as he put it- fiesty country boys with an attitude and I was anything, but.

The pathetic Christian boy who did everything he was told. The most rebellious thing I did, other than coming out of the closet to my bigot parents, was start an auto-body shop against their wishes. Oh, and taking Rick and Blake in, but that was something I did to rebel against myself.

I didn't know how to take care of kids. I just sat here alone in my house, day after day, went to work and wore the same smile. Then Rick and Blake came into my life and everything changed.

I could remember how giddy and excited I felt when I found out I was going to be taking them in. Part of me ached for them. After all, their parents were abandoning them, but another part of me was so happy to have someone here with me. Of course, all of that excitement fled when I had driven up the road to the trailer park where they lived.

I remembered pulling up onto the grassy lawn- if you could call it that- just outside the old, beat up trailer. Stanton came out and I was expecting luggage, something that belonged to them, but Stanton had both Rick and Blake by their arms in a grip that was obviously causing them pain. The most amazing part was that Blake seemed to be holding it in, despite being only a toddler. He was gritting his teeth and his eyes were glittering with tears, but they never fell.

As for Rick... I never thought a kid his age could hate someone, but Rick proved me wrong. The gleaming hate in his eyes as his dad thrust them toward me was stunning. Rick immediately peddled himself away from me and took Blake by his fragile little hand, taking him with him as they stood between me and their father.

His eyes screamed distrust as he glared at me. He looked like he was going to scoop Blake up and bolt, but his father snorted.

"Don't just stand there, Vic. Take 'em and go. I'll fax you the papers as soon as I can." Stanton said rather loudly, making me frown at him.

"And their things?" I asked, glancing at the boys. Rick stared at me as if I had grown another head and Blake looked confused. Stanton cocked a brow.

"Their kids. They ain't got anything. That stuff is mine. Now get off my property. I have things to do, people to see." He answered, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette pack.

I had never felt so much rage before. I could feel it heat all the way to my face and I wanted to just put the boys in the car, then drive right over this man until he was embedded into the pavement. How dare he do this to his sons. His flesh and blood. And the second sensation I got was pain.

I looked at Rick, seeing his messy bedhead of dark hair that looked just like his father's and those icy eyes glaring at me, threatening to hurt me if I came near his brother. A bruise was swelling under his left eye and he had several sloppily placed band aids on his arms and legs. Blake was in worse shape, a bruise already forming where his father had grabbed him to bring him outside. He was wearing an oversized t-shirt that had to belong to Rick and it was difficult to tell if he was even wearing any shorts or underwear underneath.

"All right," I said softly, looking at them, opening the door, "Get inside and I'll take you boys home."

"Who's he?" Blake asked Rick, looking at him uneasily. Rick scrunched up his nose, watching me suspiciously, but he said nothing and just settled for holding Blake against him now. I watched Stanton curl his lip.

"Get into the goddamn car before I kick your ass." He snarled. I was shocked as Blake gave a mild whimper and fled from Rick and into the car, crawling as far back as possible and curling up. Rick gritted his teeth in frustration and flashed his father one hateful glare. Stanton's face reddened and he took a step forward, but I got between them.

"Hey," I snapped, making Stanton's eyes flare at me, "You just gave me permission to be their legal guardian, so you lay one finger on them and I swear to God, you're going to regret it. I'll not only file enough lawsuits to keep you in prison for life, but I'll beat you so hard, you'll wish you were receiving the death sentence."

"Ugh," Stanton spat, stepping away from me as he threw his cigarette down, stomping it out, "The only reason I'm sending them to you is because you won't call the cops on me like an adoption center would. You and I both know you wouldn't do anything to hurt your kin, now would you, Vicky?"

"Don't call me that and you're not my brother anymore, Stanton. You lost that title the day you snitched on me. Now, if you don't mind, I have some children to take care of, children to heal and you know what, Stanton? I just want you to know that you're never going to see them again, and whether or not you say that means something to you or not, it will and I know it'll hurt Mariah when she realizes that she won't be allowed to see her sons anymore." I whipped around and looked at Rick, who stared at me in shock.

"Please get in the car, Rick. We're going to get you two comfortable." I said gently. Rick hesitated, looking up at me with glowing blue eyes as if he were debating what to do before he reluctantly climbed into the back seat with Blake, who was covering his ears and squeezing his eyes shut.

I didn't look at Stanton as he snarled out curses. I got in the front seat and shut the door, starting the car and heading out of town. I remembered that all that joy I had felt was sucked right out, at least for the first day. Arriving home, I showed Rick and Blake to their new rooms. They looked uneasy, suspicious. And that night was just as bad.

I had woken up to the worst sound I'd ever heard. It was Blake screaming. I had thrown my covers back and darted out of bed sleepily, trying not to trip over myself. I opened my door to see Rick bolting from his room and it almost caught me off guard how fast he moved. I caught up with him and we went into Blake's room where he was kicking back all his sheets and blankets.

"Blake!" Rick scrambled onto the bed, knocking the blankets down. Blake grabbed a pillow and went to throw it at him, but Rick caught it and threw it to the floor and grabbed Blake in his arms. I watched as Blake froze as Rick held onto him, burying his face against Blake's neck.

"Sssh... You were dreamin'." Rick said quietly. Blake blinked a few times and I felt my heart ache as his eyes welled up with tears. His little hands grabbed onto Rick as if his life depended on it. I wanted to hold them both, but I just couldn't. I didn't want to scare them or ruin what was happening.

The next few nights were like that, but eventually the nightmares slowed, only coming once a month and Rick was ever so protective and finally got used to me spoiling them. I couldn't help it. I wanted to make them happy so badly and they had finally gotten comfortable and that warmth came back to me as I watched Blake sit in his room, pushing Hot Wheel cars through their little race tracks, a grin on his face as Rick sat there with a book in his lap, glancing up every so often when Blake yelled at him to pay attention.

"Vic?" I snapped out of my memory to see Rex staring at me.

"Why're you crying?" Rex asked in disbelief.

"Huh?" I reached up and sure enough, my cheeks were wet. I wiped my sleeve across them quickly, patting at my eyes.

"Christ," I laughed nervously, "Sorry. I was just thinking about something. It doesn't matter... Jeez, I'm sorry, this is awkward." Rex stared at me for a while as I composed myself, clearing my throat.

"Uh, so I'm going to just go back to sleep." I said after a while and went to move past Rex, but I was caught off guard as he caught my wrist and pulled me back against the countertop. I blinked and felt heat rise to my face as my flashlight clattered against the linoleum, Rex's body pressed against mine. I opened my mouth to demand what he was doing, but before I knew it, his lips were crushing against mine.

My eyes widened.

Oh my God, he's kissing me! What in blazes...?! Oh, why does Rick always have to be right? I loved Rick so much, but sometimes I really just wanted to ground his ass until he's on his death bed.

Rex's lips were warm and soft against mine, his tongue gently brushing between my lips to ask for entrance, but I was too stunned to respond, so he pulled away, breathing against my lips, his eyes locked with mine.

"I love you, Victor Patterson. I've loved you the moment we met back in our Marketing class in college. The moment sat next to me, all quiet, shy, and sweet. You hardly said a word, but when you did, it was like music to my ears. I loved being around you and I wanted to tell you right away how I felt, but you had already confessed to liking Michael and I wasn't about to ruin your life. Of course," Rex paused to scowl, "He did it anyway and you said you didn't want to get involved in a relationship after that. I couldn't understand why all the men you asked out, refused. Sure, half of them didn't have similiar tastes in partners, but, Vic. You're absolutely amazing. I wasn't kidding when I said you're wonderful enough to turn straight men gay."

"Y-You're joking," I managed in shock, pushing on his chest and putting some space between us, "Rex, you don't know what you're saying. Uhm, I'm really tired. We both are. I just want to go to bed." Rex looked hurt now and I felt it tug at my guts.

"Look, I know you like Ace, but... Why? Why him? He's a self-centered, no good dirty rotten jerk with no respect for you or your ideals at all. He shows up here drunk, insults you, jumps you, hurts you. Are you that masochistic, Vic?"

"N-No! Of course not! I can't help it, Rex," I muttered, "I'm cursed to like people who don't like me back. And I'm sorry for rejecting you. You're just a really close friend, that's all. I'm truly sorry." Rex studied me for a moment, then his eyes seemed to grow hooded as he leaned up against me again.

I felt my breath catch in my throat as his hand drifted down my arm, back up to my shoulder, then down again gently. He reached up with his other hand and brushed my hair, tucking it behind my ear before he cupped my cheek. I stared at him in disbelief.

Stop touching me! I wanted to yell it, but I just couldn't.

"You can like me, Vic, more than a friend. Just once. Let's just try it once and you'll see that I'll take care of you. I promise to love you like no other. I'll take care of you and buy you whatever you want. I'll even take care of the boys too." Rex murmured.

I didn't know what to say, I couldn't really say anything. Rex seemed to take my silence as acceptence and his lips pressed against mine hotly. His fingers sank into my hair before he gripped a handful, ripping out a few strands and making me wince. His teeth nipped at my lips, making them sore.

Ow, stop! That hurts, Rex! The words were caught in my throat. Why couldn't I say anything?

I felt Rex's tongue dip past my lips, brushing against mine and I felt a whimper rising in my throat as his nails raked against my scalp, his teeth scraping my lips and his tongue stealing my voice and oxygen.

"No wonder why you were defending him."

I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice cold water on us. Rex tore away from me and I let out a sharp gasp of horror and shame as I scrambled away from him to the other side of the kitchen island, seeing Ace standing in the archway between the kitchen and hallway.

"You were sleeping." Rex's voice came out like acid. Oh crap, he was ticked.

"I was, until I heard you talking and he very obviously said he didn't like you like that. If you loved him so much, why don't you respect his wishes?" Ace drawled, his arms folded over his broad chest. I felt my face flush. Rex scowled.

"I do respect his wishes and he wishes not to be alone anymore, not to be hurt anymore and I can gladly grant his wish, unlike some people." He returned icily. Ace barked a laugh laced with bitterness, enough to make me stiffen.

"What? Don't turn this on me. You're just proving everything I was warned about you people right. You really are pushy, selfish, perverts who have no issue with forcing yourself on people. Looks like I won the argument." He responded. Rex's face burned red in the light of the flashlights.

"Oh, shut up, and actually yes, it's your fault. Vic has been nothing, but kind to you and you just fling it back in his face." He sneered. Ace rolled his eyes.

"It's in my nature to lecture a sinner." He answered smugly. I felt a white hot rage boil my blood as I clenched my fists. I snatched my flashlight up.

"Oh, that's it," I snarled, making both Rex and Ace jump and look at me, "I am so fucking sick of this. I'm not going to sit here and have people insult me, or talk about me as if I'm not here, as if I'm a child. I'm a grown man and I can do things on my own. I can make my own choices and I am not a sinner. I do what's right whenever I can. At least I'm trying. I'm trying to be a good parent to Blake and Rick. I'm trying to be a good employer and a good friend, but I'm tired of it. I'm leaving."

"Huh?" Ace and Rex asked in flabbergasted unison. I ignored them and used my flashlight to head to the door, brushing past both of them. I had reached the front door, shoving my boots on as they came into the foyer.

"You're insane," Ace snapped, "It's below freezing out there! Your car will never start!"

"I'll walk." I deadpanned, lacing up the boots. Rex snorted.

"You'll die!"

"I rather than sit here with you two," I spat, watching them flinch, "I just want to be left alone right now and if you're going to drive me from my own home, fine. Whatever. I'm not going to stay here if you two are going to bicker like a couple of children, and over something so trivial."

"Love is not trivial." Rex protested. Ace glared at him.

"There's a difference between love and lust, Rex." He retorted. Rex threw his hands up in disbelief, then stormed into the living room without another word. I waited, sitting there with my boots half laced up before I decided against that idiotic plan to run outside into a blizzard.

Where that idea came from, I had no idea. I always did stupid things when I was mad.

I sighed and leaned against the door, staring at the floor now as I rested my arms across my knees that I had drawn up to me. It wasn't until I decided I was gonna go to my room when I noticed Ace was still standing there, watching me.

"What?" I asked in irritation, heaving myself to my feet. Ace averted his eyes.

"What Rex said earlier... About me.... Was he serious?" He asked. I frowned, confused at first by what he meant, when I realized what I had gone. Instead of blushing, my face drained of color.

Ace knew I loved him.

I felt an ache begin in my chest. As if he couldn't hate me anymore. Maybe I should go into the blizzard and just lie down and sleep out there, even if it killed me.

Oh yea, right. It wasn't the end of the world... It just felt like it.

"Yes." I said softly, at last. Ace nodded slowly, the look on his face telling me he was letting the idea sink in. I just waited to feel the tirade start. How sinful and gross and unnatural I was. I'd heard it tons of times before, so I was fully prepared for it. I think... I hope.

"I see," Ace murmured after a while, "Even though you know I love Cherri more than anything in this world?" I felt my throat close up. I'd rather have him punch me and beat me down until I was a bloody streak on the oak wood flooring. My heart clenched. Why does this surprise me? It shouldn't because I knew they were very much in love. I'd never seen two people love each other more than Cherri and Ace.

They had their differences, but they always made up. And as much as it pained me, I had to deal with it. The times when Cherri gushed about how handsome Ace was in his tuxedo at their wedding, how warm he felt when they hugged, how he worried about her well-being when she went out, and how they talked for hours upon hours about nothing in particular.

My heart ached so much for that kind of connection with someone. I wish I could just close myself up and not feel anything. I'd kept myself calm and smiling about it so long, so why now did it feel like I was going to die?

"Yes." I managed to say. Ace wouldn't look at me now. I was still waiting for his ranting and raving about being a disgusting devil worshipper.

"All right," Ace said slowly, "Then, you know that, even if by some miracle that I had the slightest interest in you, which I don't, I wouldn't choose you over Cherri."

"Right." I answered stiffly. I needed to leave. I felt like someone's hand was around my throat. Please, someone just kill me now. God, just smite me now. After all, I'm supposedly a sinner, right?

Ugh, no, no, no. What's wrong with me? Ace loved Cherri. Cherri loved Ace. They were perfect and happy together. That's all that mattered, right?

So why did it hurt so much?

"I'm going to bed." I said quickly and brushed past Ace, who said my name, but I ignored him and continued upstairs to my bedroom in the darkness, shutting the door behind me. I tripped at least twice trying to reach my bed before I finally fell on the warm comforter.

Go to sleep, I told myself, but I couldn't. My throat was aching from not releasing the sobs that threatened to come up, but I wasn't going to let them, no matter how tired and sore I was. I was an adult, I understood the situation and I knew when I couldn't have something...

I just really wish it was one of those things that I could have...