Dear Rudy,

I'm trying to not dwell on the what-ifs, but it seems inevitable for me.

What if you left to go to the elite school?

What if I had told you how I felt while you could still listen?

What if I kissed you, before you couldn't return it?

What if you were still alive?

What if I had never even met you? If I never had to leave my real mother?

I need to stop thinking so much. It will only lead to my demise.

Liesel