Dear Damien, 

I have so many feelings as to where it hurts to hold them in. But it would also be an embarrassment toward me if I told you face-to-face that I love you. Your black hair ruffling in the wind with your dark, intense, brown eyes as you stare me down put me in a trance. Your deep laugh after you hear a joke is mind-melding. Your sense of humor is just like mine, nonsensical and incredibly idiotic and full of stupidity. We've known one another for years and I've never been happier. The love we have for everything we have in common cannot compare with what I feel for you.

If I ever got to go out with for the first time, it would be just a picnic, under a lotus tree, watching the sunset. Or just going out to a game. Ha. I would enjoy anything if it meant I could spend more time with you. I know, I know. That sounded super cheesy and cliche, but it's true. We could even be in a library, reading and barely say a word to each other through the awkward fog that built around us, (well it wouldn't be much of a date but...) I would be with you and you would be with me. And that's all that matters.

I never told you because our friendship meant so much to me and I know it also meant much to you. I just really didn't want to ruin that. Plus, you told me you had a crush (didn't exactly tell me the name but in retrospect...) and I just hoped it's me each time you mentioned her.

You just make me happy. You make giggles just rise out of me even on my darkest days. Every day I wake up feeling horrible;e, but when you tell one of your stupid jokes, I just feel so much better. I actually feel happy to be alive. Thanks.

So, to end this long-ass letter, I say:

I am in love with you, Damien, and I hope you're in love with me too.

-J