Dear my subconscious,

I hate ICP, it's the worst!!!! And I hate that we had to take this one quiz today. In which I didn't even finish...
1: Because I wasn't paying attention in class
And...
2: I wasn't at school Monday because of a funeral, and I didn't know there was a test today

Also...
3: I was having suicidal thoughts during the quiz.😷🤕😖😓
This was because I was stressed that if I failed this quiz, my grade would drop down to a D or F. And also my mom would get mad at me because I did poorly. She thinks I'm not trying my hardest to get good grades. And I keep telling her I am. But in a way... I'm really kind of not. I get super distracted with my chromebook all the time and sometimes I decide not to pay attention (because you know. School is really boring...😒).

Anyways, I had my head down, I was crying into my arms with my hair in my face (so no one would notice me), and I was constantly calling myself "a stupid fucking idiot" under my breath. Also I whispered to myself "I'd rather die then have my mom be all disappointed in me". And I eventually stopped crying before class ended. But my friend told me today that she noticed all of that. Me crying, me whispering under my breath, everything. Although, she was siting right next to me. But the teacher was walking around the classroom while everyone was taking the quiz. And even she didn't notice that I was crying.😐
Sincerely,
My Stupid Self