Three months had passed since I left Seoul and my life was back to its norm. My parents accepted me with a warm welcome. My mother did so for the sake of the special bond of motherhood and my father smiled on my arrival because his investment with the Singhs was safe. I Priya Kapoor was back at Boston with a masked smile on my face and a hole in my heart.

My parents supported my career in photography but my father instructed me to give it up the moment I got married. To my father, a fulfilled wife was one who dedicated her entirety to her husband and children. Photography was the only happiness I had left and for the sake of marriage to a man I did not love, I was to be striped of the only thing that gave me joy.

It was spring. The whites of winter gave way to the healthy green of leaves and the brilliant colours on petals a thousand. Butterflies flaunted the beauty of their wings under the rays of the golden sun and birds flapped their feathers proudly as they chirped songs in whistled notes.

The clear blue skies showered its blessing on the Singhs' large villa in Boston. It was a beautiful day for a celebration. It was one of the celebrations I spent a year running from. It was the day of wagdaan held for Rajesh Singh and me.

Wagdaan is one of the Indian ceremonies performed before the official marriage of a couple. It is an engagement ceremony that involves both families of the couple. At the wagdaan it is the duty of the groom's family to welcome the bride's family into their home.

The wagdaan is indeed a wonderful ceremony that includes exchange of vows and a commitment with a ring to signify the engagement of a couple. It is a tradition my family had always kept. One that brought joy to the household of most Indians, but to I Priya Kapoor, it was the start of a regretful life.

The Singhs' home was twice the size of my father's compound. Each building in their home glimmered under the sun due to the instalment of terracotta, marble and gems of every kind caught between the fine spaces of outstanding architectural work.

The huge compound was decorated with strings of ribbons aligned with silk patterns and helium pumped balloons. Fountains were lit by coloured bulbs which made the eye see rainbow waters when every drop kissed rays of the sun in decent curves. Varied dishes and meal courses were served by well-dressed waiters and waitresses.

Teenagers in sarees and dhoti sherwani ran on the lush green of carpet grass with stuffed faces. Men from the Singh and Kapoor family clinked glasses of expensive wine while they shared pleasantries and simple gestures. Women from both families trooped in and out of the room given to me by the Singhs. With wide smiles on their faces, they congratulated me and while some called me beautiful, others gossiped the word 'lucky'.

It was a joyful time for members of the Singh and Kapoor family. Every human jollied in the beauty of love under the influence of the spring's gentle sunshine. Every human was merry. Every human, but three. Melissa, Rajesh and I were the only people who knew the sorrow that followed that bright day.

While Melissa cried her eyes out at Singhs' backyard, Rajesh had sorrow-driven shots of tequila when his friends praised him for getting a pretty woman like me.

And me?

Well I stared at a huge mirror with an expressionless face while I got dressed by a team of stylists. Romantic songs by the Indian artist Arijit Singh echoed in the room. The stylists hummed and a few danced.

I recalled the day I was dressed up by Jin Sol, Seo Hyeon and Ji Ho for my first date with Tae Min. A smile swept across my face but a tear drop followed. It was cleaned instantly by a makeup artist who had to make sure I looked beautiful until the party was over. She said nothing and asked nothing. She wiped the tear and applied more kajal to my eyelids. She was dedicated to her job. They all were. I felt suffocated.

I caressed my phone and stared at my reflection. I stared at the sad woman on the mirror in front of me. She was a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman in a red lehenga.

Gold jewels that shone in blinding blazes sparkled on her earlobes, hair, wrists and waist. Her hands were beautified by pretty henna designs. Red lipstick glazed her lips and her eyes were made bold by darkened eyelids. Her eyelashes darkened and curled stood out as perfectly as the smooth caramel of her skin. She was Priya Kapoor, fiancée of Rajesh Singh.

In that moment, the reflection on the mirror played an illusion game on my eyes and in a second I saw myself dressed differently. On the clean glass pane of the gold-framed mirror, I was dressed in the blue saree I wore to the masked ball at Seoul. I fondled the only jewellery on me that was not gold. It was the silver necklace Tae Min bought me. My eyes gathered painful tears and my heart ached.

An image appeared behind me on the mirror. I turned and like a deluded human I screamed loudly "Tae Min?!"

I blinked twice and realized it was just another cruel joke by the universe. I looked back at the mirror and saw a tall being smile at me with the most beautiful almond shaped eyes. His hair shone platinum blonde. I closed my eyes and opened them again. He was gone. I burst into tears.

"Okay, everyone the bride is just getting cold feet. Nobody panic. This is the part where we leave the room." Jess told the stylists and other women who crowded the room. She looked beautiful in a saree.

"Sis, are you okay?" Natasha asked. It was the first time she wore a saree. It was the first time she looked like a lady.

"Can I see it again?" I asked Jess.

"Pree you already looked at it twice today. We got it in case you weren't sure about this marriage. You said you wanted to go through with it yesterday but..."

"I just want to see it. Please." I pleaded with Jess. Tears washed off the dark lines on my eyes. My makeup was a mess.

Jesse handed me a flight ticket and a passport. It was a ticket to Seoul. I told Jess to get it three days before the wagdaan. I told her I wanted the ticket by my side during my engagement ceremony. I told her it would serve as a reminder that I chose a life with Rajesh willingly. That was what I told my best friend but it was a lie. The ticket was an escape for my heart and the flight to South Korea was in four hours.

"Are you going to do it?" Natasha asked.

"Don't give her any funny ideas Natty! Pree, Tae Min broke up with you after everything you went through together. You shouldn't crawl back to him!" Jess said.

"Hey, you pronounced his name correctly." I told Jess with a smile.

"Well, he was the love of your life so I had to learn how to pronounce his name correctly. I figured you'll introduce me to him one day and I didn't want to sound stupid in front of an idol. Do you know how many times I bit my tongue trying to master that jerk's name?" Jess pouted. Natasha laughed. More tears left my eyes.

"I can't do it...I can't...I thought I could get married to Rajesh and forget about Tae Min but I can't..." I cried.

"I'm sorry sis but I agree with Jess on this one. He's a rich C.E.O now and he's probably living his life with some Korean chic. He might be with that Hayan girl you told us about. He's not worth bawling your eyes out." Natasha said.

"He's worth it." I said in a whisper.

"Pree, he hasn't called you since you left Seoul. The jerk didn't have the decency to send a text message since you guys broke up. Let's say you go back to South Korea, will he receive you with open arms? I know Rajesh and Melissa are hurt too but you have no choice. It sucks and if I could I'll whoop the ass of everyone in this party, I would but this is just stupid reality being mean. I'm so sorry Pree." Jess said. She gave me a tight hug.

"This is a marriage but it feels like a freaking funeral." Natasha scoffed.

"He would accept me." I said in a calm voice.

"What?" Natasha asked.

"He has sent me texts but..."

"What?! Hold up! What are you saying Pree? Tae Min has been texting you and you didn't say a thing?"

I tapped the screen of my phone and gave it to Jess. Natasha held unto to Jess like a child while their eyes scrolled the text messages Tae Min sent me.

"My goodness Pree, you didn't reply any of them! Why?!"

"I felt it was too late and I didn't want to think about him. The moment I landed in Boston, my family was all I could think of." I told Jess.

"You mean Papa was all you could think of." Natasha said with a sulky expression and crossed arms.

"That's a lie. He's all you've been thinking of. Tae Min is all you've been thinking of isn't that right Pree."

I stared at Jess and said nothing but she was right. I could not get Tae Min out of my mind. I stalked his social media accounts and watched every video he uploaded. He was all I could think of for three months. I missed him. I loved him.

"Wait! There's a voice note too! Why haven't you listened to this Pree?" Jess said while she held the phone to my face.

"What voice note?" I asked.

"It was sent this morning!"

I took the phone from Jesse and played the voice note. Goose bumps appeared on my skin, my stomach churned, my heart raced and my tongue felt dry at the sound of Kim Tae Min's voice.

"Hey, Pree.

It's been a while. It's been three months actually. How have you been...How's...What...Screw it!

I'm sorry. I can't believe I'm still not composed after practising this seven times! Okay...um...
Hey, Pree it's me. Tae Min. How have you been? What are you up to?

I noticed you haven't replied any of my texts and it is heart breaking. Well after what I did to you, I deserve to be treated this way. So I have no right to complain. I just wish you sent a 'Hi' at least then I won't feel so messed up.

Um...Pree I just want to say...I want to say...Pree...I...

I miss you! I'm sorry but I just have to say it! When I sent you back home I don't know what I was thinking! I was such an idiot and I still am. I thought I was protecting you but honestly I was just being a coward and I apologize.

I thought I could be happy and satisfied with running my mother's company alone but it was all a delusion. I can't be happy without you Pree.

It's you! It's always been you Pree and it'll always be you! You're the source of my joy and I can't be happy without you.

I can't feel what I felt for you with anyone else because...I...I love you Pree! I've always loved you and I'll always love you!

You're in my mind every day and you're in my thoughts. My mind's a mess without you and my heart feels like it's being choked up. I miss you.

So...So I'm going to do something crazy to show you how much you mean to me. I'll be coming over to Boston next week.

I don't know if you're married to Rajesh and I don't care if you've tied the knot with him already. I just need to see your face. I just need to know you're happy even if it's not with me.

I know you're concerned about your family so I won't ruin anything for you. If you don't reply to this voice message in a week, I'll take a hint and find a way to see you from a distance instead.

Sometimes, we don't know how important or valued someone is, until we loose them. I don't want to loose you Pree.

I was a fool to think I could live without you but my eyes are open now and with a crushed heart, I've discovered that I need you. I love you Priya Kapoor."

"Oh my...What the..." Jess stuttered. Natasha squealed.

"This is the romantic thing I've ever heard." Jess said while she fanned herself with one of the wedding invitations on the dressing table.

"Indeed it is." A familiar voice said from the door.

"Mama?!" Natasha screamed.

"Mrs Kapoor?!"

"It's alright girls. At ease. I'm not my husband." My mother said while she took gentle steps towards me.

She took my hands in hers and squatted to my eye level. I looked at the brown pool in her eyes.

"Priya Kapoor, you're a grown woman now and you're old enough to know what you want. Your father and I have controlled your life since the day we had you but it is time we stopped. Priya, as a mother I do want the best for you and I think a life with Rajesh would be a good choice. I see a stable future if you get married to him but it's useless if you're not happy. Priya, as a mother it is my heart desire to see you happy. I'm your mother and I know this marriage does not bring you joy. You hide in your room and cry all day. I hear you and with a sad heart I tried to explain to your father but he ignored me. Rajesh doesn't want this as well. I see it in his eyes and Melissa Rai is another sad story." My mother said with kind eyes.

"Mama, you know about Melissa and Raj?" Natasha asked.

"You kids think the adults are ignorant and old but we know more than you think we do. Mothers always know." My mother told Natasha. We laughed.

"Priya, your life is yours and you should choose what you want to do with it."

"So what will you do Pree?"

"Yeah, what will you do sis?"

At that moment like a sign from the universe, the song on the speaker was changed and a familiar tune filled the room. It was the song 'It's okay if you forget me' by Astrid.S.

"I better change it back to an Indian song before Papa hears..."

"No! Let it play!" I yelled at my little sister. Of course I wanted the song to play. It was my favourite and someone else's.

I stared at the mirror and memories from the past year flooded my thoughts in lucid images. They were unforgettable memories.

I remembered the first time I met Tae Min at the Banpo Bridge. My memory replayed our walk at the Seokcheon Lake Park. My thoughts recalled the night of the masked ball and our first kiss under the rain. I saw images of the times we spent together and like a sad end, I had a flashback on the moment Tae Min sacrificed his life for mine.

Tears poured out of my eyes like they were being chased. I held my chest. It hurt.

I glanced at the wall clock in the room and my eyes scanned the flight ticket on the dressing table. It was an hour to the scheduled flight.

I grabbed the ticket and my passport. I lifted the hems of the lehenga I wore and ran out of the room. The jewels on my body jingled loudly as I ran.

Jess, Natasha and my mother said many things in loud words but I did not hear. Guests at the wedding gazed at me and loud whispers filled the air. I did not care.

I caught a glimpse of Rajesh and Melissa near a flower pot in the Singhs' home. They stared at me and Rajesh had the widest smile on his face. He was really a coward but I smiled back.

The moment I stepped out of the Singhs' villa, I found a taxi.

"The Logan International Airport Sir! And step on it!" I ordered the cab driver.

I took out my phone and for the first time in three months, I wrote a text message to Tae Min. With fingers that bore pretty rings I typed words encrypted in my heart.

Dear Kim,

I've been a wreck without you and as much as I've tried to deny this for the past three months, I can't lie to myself anymore.

I truly apologize for ignoring your texts and I also apologize for leaving you without a fight.

You're the best thing that happened to me and I was a fool to think I could forget you. There's been a hole in my heart since I left you and now I have to fix it. I miss you and I have to see you.

You may claim that you're crazy but we both know the crazy one. I'm on my way to South Korea and I will see you soon. So wait for me at the Banpo Bridge.

It's been a while, so bring a bottle of Bourbon and save me a dance.

Yours in heart and soul

- Priya Kapoor. A fan.'

With a smile on my face, I stared at the brilliant blue of the sky and counted the clouds with a heart set free. I knew there would be consequences to my actions but for the first time in my life I was completely unbothered by my family's thoughts or my father's opinion.

I decided to live for me. I decided to be free.

I placed a set of eirpods in my ears and pushed the play button on a rather old MP3 player. In a click a familiar song blessed my ear drums. It was the song 'It's okay if you forget me' by Astrid.S.

The thought of hearing the song for the second time that day made me laugh. With a hearty smile and joy in my heart I sang along while my eyes were fixed on the road. I was on a journey to my happiness. I left my fearful past and embraced the bravery of my present.

Unsure of the future ahead, I left a world I knew well. I left for Kim. My heart at that moment yearned for one being. It yearned for Kim. Kim Tae Min.

Word Count; 3153

-Saree

-Dhoti sherwani.

-Bride in red lehenga.

-Henna (on hands).

KAJAL: An eye makeup product, that can outline the waterline of one's eyes.