Kim Tae Min and I arrived at Songpa Naru Park, in Songpa-gu on the east side of Seoul. My eyes caught the sight of a clear lake just behind the Lotte World.

Calm and free of ripples or waves, the peaceful lake was surrounded by the outstanding pink of cherry blossoms. The undisturbed lake was Seokchon Lake. This earned Songpa Naru, the popular name, Seokchon Lake Park.

It was the fourteenth hour of the day.

“Have you ever heard of the Seokchon Lake cherry blossom festival?” Tae Min asked while he placed the hoodie of the jacket over his head.

“I think I have.”

“Well here we are!” He said.

I looked around and finally understood the meaning of the crowd that surrounded the lake. The cameras, foreigners, music and bright decorations were all part of the festival.

Tae Min and I had quite a splendid day.

We took a stroll around the lake, admired the beautiful scenery and made short stops at caricature booths.

One of my favourite spots was the Seoul Nori Madang. It was an outdoor stage at the Seokchon Lake Park. As a lover of diverse cultures and heritage, I delighted in the splendour of traditional Korean folk performance.

Everything about the Seokchon Lake left a smile on my face and the thought of leaving in five days made my heart bleed. I was devastated but I tried to keep a smile for Kim Tae Min, who seemed to enjoy our so called date.

We strolled on a walking path that connected the east and west lakes at the Seokchon Lake park. The pink of the cherry blossoms floated around us like confetti in its brightest array. While my mind reminded me that there was an expiration to the joyous moment, my heart told me to hold on to every second of that day. My last day with Kim Tae Min.

While Tae Min and I counted steps at the walking path, I eyed an old couple beside us. With hair as white as snow planted in few strands, an elderly woman and man both held hands and walked with smiles on their faces. Their wedding rings quite faded still shone gold under the sun’s glimmer. I smiled and took in a deep breath.

“Now that’s love.” I said out loud.

Tae Min turned to the couple and I saw the brightest smile on his pretty face.

“So are your parents still troubling you with that arranged marriage or is it a resolved issue?” He asked.

I stared at him in awe.

“Who told you about that?” I asked.

“You did.”

“When?” Confusion rocked the nerves in my brain.

“The first time we met.”

Then it hit me. The things I said to him at Banpo Bridge came flooding back. I was so embarrassed my cheeks were flushed in heat.

“Wow! You really did forget everything. That was good Bourbon then.” He said with a sigh.

It seemed he cared more about the Bourbon than me. As a girl who had a three year crush on him, I was frustrated at Tae Min. My anger spilled out in shockingly unexpected waves.

“Bourbon this, Bourbon that…what’s with you and that bottle of Bourbon?!”

“It was really old. I’m quite a gourmet when it comes to good liquor. So believe me when I say that Bourbon was saved for a special occasion.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes really and you just gulped it down like it was some cheap whiskey.” He said and made a face at me.

I rolled my eyes, sighed and there was silence. Then came laughter. Merry, heart-felt laughter.

“So did you tell your parents how you truly feel about the arranged marriage?” Tae Min asked.

“I can’t. I haven’t told them I’m about to quit medical school either.” I stated excess information. Why was I so open to him?

“Why do you want to leave medical school?”

“I’ve never been interested. My mom and dad are both surgeons, so they expect the same from me and my little sister. She’s more of a rebel than I. As the oldest child it’s a sort of compulsion to make your parents happy. It comes with this annoying responsibility and dire need to please them. I’ve endured it for long and after coming to Korea, I realize I never had the chance to pursue what I really want.”

“And what do you want?”

“I want to be a photographer. I want to be able to travel and take the best pictures that express humanity and nature in beauty. I also want to work in fashion. I want to see my photo of models and amazing scenery on the cover of magazines. I just want to be happy and fulfilled.” I said with a wide smile.

I told Kim Tae Min a dream even Jess did not know about with such ease. I wondered why.

“Do what you want to do.” He said.

“What?”

“Those things you just said created a beautiful smile on your face. Any dream that can make you smile like that should not be a goal ignored. You want to take photographs? Take them. Travel! Explore the world if it pleases you. Do what makes you happy or you’ll just regret it at the end. Salgo, salanghago, usgo.” Tae Min said.

“Live, love, laugh.” I interpreted the Korean words with a smile.

My burden felt lifted and my heart was made light.

“What about you?” I asked him.

“It’s too late for some of us.”

“If it wasn’t too late, what would you really want to do?”

“I would’ve been one of the best ballad singers in Korea and a pianist. I’m good at rapping and being a model is great but I’d rather use my voice in a touching way. I want people to see me for me.” He took in a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

“Well like most entertainment companies, every idol needs a brand. So mine is slim-trim, always on a diet, Kim Tae Min. Model, dancer and rapper.”

“I’m sorry.” I said. I pitied him.

“Don’t be. This brand made me meet someone as amazing as you.”

My heart fluttered at those words. The warmth of my skin brought sweat to my palms.

“I think it’s time you answered my question.” Tae Min said with a desperate look.

“What question?”

“Why do you think I’m sad? Your letter stated it clearly and I want to know what makes you so sure.”

“Well…I…I just know.”

“You just know?”

“Yeah…When you’re on stage you’re happy and cool but the moment you drop the microphone and attempt to turn from cameras, you look gloomy.” I confessed, my eyes focused on the ground beneath me.

“You got ‘sad’ from just that?” Tae Min asked.

I hated his disbelief. I was his number one fan and I wanted him to know that.

“It’s not just that! Every video of you getting on stage shows how terrified you are! Your jaws get clenched, your eyes are shut tight for minutes and then opened. You take in a deep breath and after every performance you get so tired you place your hands on your knees. Your fans think it’s some signature bow but I know stress when I see it, because being in a home like mine, I’ve experienced it and it sucks! It sucks even more when you face it alone, so no! After having a fan crush on you for three freaking years, I don’t think you’re sad. I know you are!”

My speech flowed through my mind word by word and my limbs shook. My lips felt dry and I felt a bit tipsy. I lost my cool in front of Kim Tae Min and I hated it.

“Thank you.” He said.

“What?”

“Thank you for caring. You’re right I’ve not been fantastic and I feel great after hearing you say that. At least someone cares.” Tae Min said with a beautiful smile, no mask on. My heart skipped its norm pace.

“I…Of course I care…I…I’m your biggest fan.” I stuttered.

“I still doubt that though.”

“Why?”

“No fan would do what you did the first time we met Pree. You were so bold.” He said. My knees still shook at the sound of my nickname uttered from his lips.

“I just did my best to pull myself together. I wanted to help and I couldn’t do that if I went all fan-crazy on you. Do you know how hard it was to stop myself from hugging you?” I recalled my words yet again and embarrassment seemed to wrap me in a loophole.

Tae Min laughed.

I bit my lower lip and pinched my left thigh until it hurt.

“Okay. Come here then.” Tae Min said, his arms spread wide.

“What?”

“You said you held back the first time you saw me and I don’t think you should anymore. So consider this a fan gift from me.”

I stared at him. My limbs ceased and norm breaths escaped me.

“Um…Pree, people are staring.”

He began to drop his arms but like a child, I ran to him and put my arms around his waist. He was really tall.

He put his arms around me and the sleeves of his jacket kissed my cheeks and shoulders. Again my heart fluttered then in ten seconds it was over.

A few steps away, a short man dressed in all black nodded at Kim Tae Min after our brief hug. I was not sure why but I felt a cold chill run down my spine. I shivered.

Tae Min took a look at his phone and anxiety was written all over his face.

“Hey, Pree could you give me five minutes? There’s somewhere I need to be.”

He was about to take off but the fear within me found its way to my arms and I held him back.

“You…you can’t leave me here. I might get lost.” I said.

“It’s just a few minutes Pree. You’ll be fine.”

“Don’t go…I mean… I’ll get bored.”

The man in black began to walk away and Tae Min’s anxiety grew by the minute. He took out a set of AirPods and an MP3 player from a pocket and handed it to me.

“My favourite playlist is in here. Each song is three minutes or more. Before the last song is over, I should be back. Okay?” He said while he inserted the little white gadgets into my ear.

“Fine.” I said.

He began to walk away and I pushed the play button on the MP3 player. At the sound of the first song I laughed.

“Seriously?!” I screamed after him.

“It should bring back memories.” He yelled back with a wave.

And there I was, at the middle of Seokchon Lake Park, listening to the song ‘It’s okay to forget me’ by Astrid.S while waiting for Kim Tae Min to return.

The last song on Kim Tae Min’s playlist was almost over and there was no sign of him. I got worried.

I took off the AirPods and decided to search for him in the huge park. It was a mission deemed impossible but my heart thought it easy.

I walked for a while and stopped at the sound of screaming from an alley in the residential area near the park.

I retraced my steps and walked towards the source of the noise.

I spotted black cars about three in front of the alley and seven men arrayed in black jackets and coats stood around a human on the ground.

They kicked and threw punches at the poor human randomly. My heart was moved, so I took a few steps closer contemplating on how to help. I was a foreigner after all, so I had to be cautious.

I walked further until the face of the men in black became clear and at the sight of the human beaten up, I jumped.

The human had bruises on his face and his lips bled. He spat blood and struggled to walk but was kicked down repeatedly by one of the men.

After another dreadful kick, he screamed and held his stomach. His cap fell off his head and I saw it. The familiar platinum blonde strands and a smile none could forget. It could not be? Not him?

I took out my phone and called Tae Min. A phone rang loudly in the midst of the black-arrayed hoodlums.

The human on the floor took a phone out of his jacket and stared at it. I saw his face and gasped. It was him. It was Kim Tae Min.

I threw caution to the wind and ran towards the terrifying gang. I always had a plan before I made my choices, but recently it seemed my heart had gotten used to taking the lead and I followed.

“Hey! What do you think you’re all doing?” I asked the men like a hero would while my bones creaked with fear.

“Tae Min, who the hell is she?” A short plump man in a black trench coat asked in Korean. He seemed to be the leader.

“Let her go Cheo Jeong. She’s just a concerned passer-by.” Tae Min said and winked at me.

I was pissed at him. How could I leave him?

I let my eyes scan the surrounding buildings quickly and after spotting a few surveillance cameras, I stood my ground.

“You either let him go or I’ll report you to the cops.” I said in Korean. The men laughed.

“Look! You see those cameras? They’re recording what’s happening here.” I pointed, their eyes followed my fingers.

“I’m a journalist and I’ll be more than happy to use the info on those cameras for a big scoop. You know that’s Kim Tae Min right? Imagine how troublesome it will be if his fans found out what you did here today. Would you like that? If you let him go now, I’ll let it slide and pretend I never saw you. Deal?” I asked.

“I thought you said there were no surveillance cameras here? You idiots!” The short man in a trench coat screamed at the other men in jackets.

In a few minutes, they all got into the cars and drove off.

“Things are always easier with you around.” Tae Min said in a faint voice.

I ran to him and tried to help him up when something slipped out of his pocket. A little zip bag with white powder fell on the floor and he picked it up immediately.

I knew what it was and bothered not to ask. Instead I worried and prayed for more time. I needed more time with him. I needed more time in South Korea.

With one hand over my shoulders, Tae Min limped to his car. I suggested first aid but after a call from Mr Park, we drove to concert nearby. I prayed again.

At the concert, makeup artists and stylists worked on Tae Min and in a flash the scars on his skin disappeared.

Dressed in a red jacket and pants pasted by sequins, Kim Tae Min got ready to perform.

I was shocked by the fact that the stylists, directors and other workers from Yoojin agency did not care. No one asked what was wrong. The show just went on. It seemed it wasn't the first time Tae Min showed up with scars.

Before the show, Tae Min limped to his car and got the brown leather jacket he wore earlier.

“Here, put this on. I want you to stay backstage but that won’t be possible with the cameras everywhere. This will hide your identity to an extent. I’ll take you back to the hotel when the show’s over.” He said.

“Are you okay?” I asked. He said nothing and faked a smile.

I took the jacket and wore it. It smelt like him.

Tae Min placed the hoodie of the jacket of over my hair. It was then I discovered that it was the little things that made my heart flutter.

He took my hand in his and walked backstage. Cameras began to click but the hoodie kept my face hidden.

Men and women behind the stage muttered praises of Kim Tae Min and the moment he stepped into the spotlight, fans in their thousands screamed. I smiled.

His limbs began their magic and his tongue started its rhyming at every beat. My smile became a frown. I remembered how he was beaten up a few hours ago. I remembered the cocaine in the zip bag.

I knew every move he made killed his limbs. Still he put his gracious mask on and smiled while fan girls screamed.

I realized I was one of those girls. The girls who smiled and screamed at Tae Min’s every move. The girls who were clueless about his life beyond stages, magazine covers and music videos. The thought troubled my conscience and sadness filled my heart. I met Mr Park and asked him for an early ride to the hotel.

Mr Park dropped me off at the Shilla Stay Yeoksam and in minutes I was done packing.

Still worried about Tae Min, I turned and rolled on my bed wearing his jacket. I had to talk to him one last time before leaving in five days.

Five days. Those two words taunted me.
With nothing but worry in my heart, my thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. It was a special delivery. But from whom?

I opened the huge box. A new Sony A7 III camera and a bottle of Bourbon were in it. I laughed at the sight of the Bourbon.

A note also accompanied the package and on it the sweet words;

‘Dear Pree,

Here’s another fan gift. If you’re going to chase your dreams, this is my way of supporting you.

Thank you for today. Your bravery shone again and it was amazing. You were amazing. I had fun today as I did the first time we met. Things just seem easier when I’m with you.

If you want to stay in Korea a bit longer, Mr Park and I can help you. Just let me know before the five days you have left, come to an end.

I’m not forcing you to stay but I wish you would. Everything seems better with you.

Well, thanks for being my friend in this short time. It was nice to have a Bourbon-crazy friend like you.

P.S, you can keep the jacket and MP3 player. I hope you love the songs on my playlist as much as I do.

Live, love, laugh.

-Kim Tae Min,

A friend.

I thought my departure from South Korea would be easy but it seemed more difficult now. My three year crush on Kim Tae Min began to turn into something else.  Something I was not sure of but I knew the thought of it made my heart flutter.

I pressed the play button on Tae Min’s MP3 player, hoping the songs would bring me peace but every song made my heart flutter more.

What was wrong?

I screamed into a pillow and dozed off to the beautiful tunes, with one question on my mind;

“Should I leave or should I stay?”

Word Count; 3221

-Seokchon Lake Park.

-Seoul Nori Madang.

-Performance at Seoul Nori Madang.