Jared.

Evan spotted him from across the road, and immediately jumped into the closest bush. He hasn't seen Jared in three years, and he really didn't feel like talking to him after the whole Connor Project incident.

Which was over now, by the way. It has been. For three years. Evan and Jared seemed to have been avoiding each other ever since, both too awkward to talk to each other again.

And even now, when they're both in college and living completely separate lives, they avoid each other.

Or at least Evan did.

It was sort of surreal seeing Jared again. Honestly, Evan was surprised he still recognized him. He had a little stubble beard and his hair was more grown out. And he definitely lost some weight.

But that was Jared. It had to be.

He can't look at him without feeling all icky inside. Good icky and bad icky. Evan had done a lot of shitty things to his friend, and looking back on it now, he knows that what he did was shitty. But back then, he didn't. He thought he was doing what he needed to do to get closer to Zoe, and the Connor Project, and society as a whole.

Now he realizes that he never needed to get closer to anyone at all. No one except Jared, really.

Because Jared was the only one who knew what he was doing back then. He was the only one who had figured himself out. He had friends, and he had a goddamn brilliant mind. That was all a senior in highschool needed. He was all set.

Jared was the only one really and truly helping him. He tried to get him to just "nod and confirm" that first night at the Murphys', because he must've known that telling the truth wouldn't have worked. But neither did confirming, did it?

But even then, Jared didn't give up on him. He helped him write fake emails about a rather interesting fake relationship with a fake version of a person that neither of them knew. That sounds like a lot of work, something that Jared didn't really like, but he did it with Evan anyway.

And even when Evan decided to take it four leaps further, Jared didn't question him. Okay, maybe he did a little, but not to the extent that Evan had initially expected him to.

Evan would hate to admit it, but over time, with the two of them working together, Evan had grown sort of fond of Jared. Well- no- technically he was already fond of him before, but just in a friend way. A family friend way. But then it was different. Then it was more than a friend way.

Did Jared ever feel the same? Hell if Evan knew.

All he knew was that he made the split-second decision to end it all. Their entire friendship (and maybe one day, more) flushed down the drain because Evan focused too much on Zoe; a girl he didn't even like anymore, mind you!

Why? Why why why why-

Evan knew why, but he wished it wasn't why. Evan wanted to force himself closer to Zoe so he wouldn't be drawn even closer to Jared. That's why.

But why he didn't want to get closer to Jared, Evan didn't know. Maybe it was a stupid teenager thing.

Seeing Jared now, through the leaves of the bush he was hiding behind, made everything rush back to him. The memories, the guilt, the feelings... all of it.

The only way this could be any worse is if Jared-

"Hansen?"

Fuck.

How can he see me?? Evan thought. I'm behind a bush!

But Jared started walking towards him, holding on to the straps of the backpack he was wearing.

He laughed as he got closer, "What are you doing in there?" He asked, "Is this Acorn etiquette?"

Evan just stared up at the boy, slightly dumbfounded. Why is he acting so casual? Does he know who this is?

"I'm Evan..." He responds out loud, just to make sure Jared knew who he was talking to.

Jared offered him a hand to help him up, "I know that, sillygoose." Evan took his hand and Jared pulled him up. "I'm just wondering why you were there."

Just nod and confirm.

Jared smiled and shook his head, "What the fuck..."

Evan looked down, and noticed that, no, Jared never let go of his hand. "Uh... Jared?"

I mean he's not complaining. But this was kinda weird.

Jared looked down at his hand and immediately jolted back, "Shit! Sorry."

Evan couldn't help but smile a bit. Jared smiled back, and Evan's heart did the flOoPity.

The two stood in silence, on the side of the sidewalk, awkwardly, before Jared spoke, "Look, man. I'm sorry for everything that happened senior year. It was fucked up-"

"Why are you apologizing?" Evan asked, not even a split second after Jared finished speaking, "I was the one who ruined everything!"

Jared gave him a confused smile, "No...?"

"Yes...?"

Jared shrugged, sort of ruining the moment, "Sure. Okay. Whatever. I don't care. Yeah."

The air held thick between them. Both of them wanted to leave, but both of them had more to say.

"I missed you."

Jared looked up, sort of surprised by Evan's words. "Me?"

"Who else?"

"Oh." Jared looked down at the sidewalk, messing with the hem of his shirt. Which is usually something Evan would do, but maybe he just rubbed off on Jared or something.

"Wanna get coffee?"

Jared looked startled this time, as if he expected him to say something else. But he didn't. He asked him to coffee.

"Just to catch up. Nothing new..." Evan stammered, trying to make himself sound Less Gay.

Jared smiled, "Oh yeah sure," He said sarcastically, "It's been three years, but yeah, nothing new."

Evan chuckled awkwardly, "So that's a yes?"

"Pftft, of course that's a yes." Jared responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "You'd think I'd pass down caffeine?"

Evan shook his head, "Of course not."

Needless to say, Evan had no idea what he was getting into. He never does. And he never will. Maybe that's just how life rolls.

-

Published: 7/19/20

Word Count: 1041