So these next like 5 oneshots are actually originally part of "End of May or Early June" in which I planned to do a platonic oneshot every day. That didn't work, so I'm just putting them here instead.

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Of course the first oneshot I write is about Jared-
(also dont @ me but Jared's an August baby)

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[Evan POV]

Today was August 31, honestly probably one of the scariest days of the year, especially considering what year it was. Today was Jared's 18th birthday.

Terrifying.

Alana insisted we throw him a surprise party. "What could go wrong?" She had said. Obviously she doesn't know Jared. A lot can go wrong.

But Jared's my best friend, so what choice did I really have?

I meant to get Jared a present last week, but I was really tired that night so decided to push present-shopping until the next day. Apparently I have a problem with procrastination, though, because it's August 31, and I have no present.

Alana was supposed to pick me up in two hours to take me to Zoe's, where the party was going to be held. I argued that it should be held at Jared's, but apparently that would make it hard to surprise him.

Either way, two hours was not very much time to buy a present. If only I had taken my mom's advice and ordered it online. Then I could sleep and have a present here in time.

But I don't have time for that anymore, so I grabbed my wallet and ran out the door to the nearest Target.

What does Jared even like? I asked myself. I mean, sure, I've known him for 17 years at this point, and I know who he is and stuff... but I don't know the kind of thing he wants for his birthday!

I walked through the various aisles, somehow ending up in the baby aisle. Baby, Jared... what's the difference? Honestly I could probably keep him entertained with baby toys. But that would just be cruel. And imagine how much he'd laugh at me.

I went to the board game aisle and decided to just give Jared a magic 8 ball. Because hey, those things are cool.

At least I think they're cool. I'm not really the best judge of cool.

I ran back home and quickly wrapped the box with shiny red wrapping paper. I didn't realize until AFTER I wrapped it that the paper I used was probably made for Christmas time.

"Eh well." I mumbled, putting a yellow ribbon on top, so instead of looking like a Christmas present, it looked like a Happy Meal.I

I heard a car horn outside, and I took it to be Alana. I grabbed my sleepover bag and hopped in her car.

She looked at me for a second, with here eyebrow raised, "No gift?"

"Shit." I mumbled, getting back out of the car to quickly retrieve the present I had literally just wrapped 3 minutes ago.

"Sorry." I said once I got back in.

Alana laughed, "No worries. We can't really be late to a party that doesn't have an official starting time."

We drove to Zoe's house in silence. When we pulled in the driveway, I was greeted with an abundance of blue and gray streamers. Jared's favorite colors, of course. The entire house looked like it had been TP-ed, but with streamers instead of toilet paper. A festive mess.

Inside was even crazier. The streamers hung all over every ceiling fan and chandelier, as well as draping from every doorway. There was no way anyone would be able to move from room-to-room without being attacked by streamers.

There were also red and black balloons (Jared's third and forth favorite color - surprise, surprise) taped in at least one corner of every room. On the ceiling hung short ribbons with lots of black sparkle on them, some of if dropped off onto the floor.

"Woah," I said, marvelling at all the decorations, "Did you guys get the bedrooms, too, or something?"

Zoe, who just came in from the kitchen, apron stained, laughed, "No, we were planning on it though! Hence the abundance of decorations."

"Are the cakes ready?" Alana asked.

"Multiple?" I gasped.

Zoe shrugged, "Well, we didn't exactly know whether Jared like chocolate or strawberry cake better, so we made both."

"Oh, so you know all of his favorite colors, but not his favorite cake flavor?" Connor scoffed, walking down the steps to join us in the living room.

"Could you do better?" Zoe retorted, to which Connor just shrugged.

I saw a table set up beside the fireplace where a bunch of presents sat, and put my present with everyone else's.

"Are we ready then?" Zoe asked.

"I think so." Alana replied, patting me on the shoulder, "I volunteer Evan to pick him up."

"I just got here!" I defended.

"Well, you are is best friend." Alana provided.

"Yeah, he'll probably trust you if you say 'We're just gonna go to the arcade! '" Zoe added.

"I'm not really the best at... lying." I said, playing with my fingers.

They all looked at me with blank faces.

"Good point." I admitted.

Connor practically pushed me out of the door and handed me Zoe's keys. "Don't screw it up." He reminded me. Thanks.

I got in the car and drove to Jared's, surprised to see that he was just lying on the grass in his front yard. "You good?" I called out the window.

"Yep!" He said excitedly, jumping up from the ground, "Just reminding myself I'm a LEGAL ADULT! and waiting for you to pick me up for my surprise party."

"Wha-" I stuttered, because caught off guard by the fact he knew about his party. "N-no-"

"Oh come on!" Jared smiled, slamming the passenger door as he got in, "You're driving! Why would you be driving! And in ZOE'S car! If it's not a surprise party, where are we going?"

"T-the... Arcade!" I managed, "Y-yeah! Zoe wanted me to use her car because she... she got an electric scooter."

What did I just say.

"WOAH!" Jared shouted, "An electric scooter! AWESOME! She better let me ride it!"

Oh god.

"Uhh, she- she will. You know Zoe." Oh jeez Evan stop talking before Zoe actually has to BUY an electric scooter.

"That's what you said about cheating off her test." Jared responded, "'Oh, you know Zoe.""

I pulled into the Murphy's parking lot and Jared smirked at me, "This doesn't look like an arcade."

"Well- we- we have to- pick up Connor! Duh!" I'm so good at surprises.

Jared laughed and pointed at the house, "How come it looks like the house is dressed for party?"

"Because..." I started, "You TP-ed it in your sleep?"

Jared shook his head, "Ok now you're just gaslighting me. Let's go in."

He pulled me out of the car and we made our way up the steps. He turned to me before I opened the door, "I suppose you want me to close my eyes, too?" He said sarcastically .

I shrugged, "Wouldn't hurt."

Jared scoffed but still closed his eyes. I reached in front of him and opened the door.

The entryway was completely void of human life. At least it seemed.

Jared peeked open on of his eyes, before opening them both and walking inside. "What'd you know!" He said, "Seems the only guests are the decorations-"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Everyone yelled, popping up from behind the couch, under the stairs, and Connor was even in the unlit fireplace.

"aH!" Jared screamed like a girl, almost falling back onto the porch.

Between all the laugher, you could hear Connor adding on to his happy birthday, "to our idiot who probably shouldn't be an adult but here we are."

"I thought you were expecting this?" I said to Jared, who had just regained his balance.

"Doesn't stop me from being STARTLED!" He responded, plopping down on the couch and still breathing somewhat heavily. "So what's first? Food? Presents? Party games? Presents?"

Alana squinted and smiled, whispering to me, "I think he wants to open his presents."

Zoe tossed him a rather big present that was wrapped in white paper with pink and green polka dots. "What am I, 5?" He said, smiling and carefully starting to pick at the tape.

"May as well be." Connor said.

"Just open it!" Zoe shouted, eagerly watching as Jared precisely cut and unfolded. "You're killing me!"

"Well you gotta do what you gotta do to save the sea turtles." He responded simply.

"Oh GOD he's VSCO."

He finally unwrapped the present to reveal an old VHS player.

"Wow, Zoe, you set a low ba-"

"OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU KNOW?" Jared shouted at Zoe. Everyone else in the room had a face of confused shock. Jared wanted an old piece of junk that wasn't even sold anywhere except Amazon?

Ok, now that I'm thinking it out loud, it sounds like Jared.

Zoe shrugged, "You left your computer here a few month ago, remember?"

Jared laughed, "Stalker."

Next, he grabbed a present wrapped in sparkly galaxy paper. Alana, no doubt.

And he opened it just as slowly as the last one. We all just kinda sat in anticipation.

Inside the paper was... more paper. Blue with red and yellow stripes. He looked over at Alana, deadpan, "Seriously?" Alana shrugged and laughed.

There were three more layers of paper under that. Black with yellow polka dots, red with blue clouds, grey with little ovals on it...

"Finally!" Jared yelled as he yanked the last layer off, not bothering to be careful anymore. Inside was a cute fuzzy stuffed camel that was a redish-beige color, "I will name him... Rich."

"Why?" Alana asked.

Jared shrugged, "He looks like a Rich."

No one argued with that.

Alana handed him my present. "Mmm," he said, "A happy meal! Thanks, Evan!"

I rolled my eyes as he startled peeling the paper off.

"Oooh." He awed, looking at the back of the box, "Magic 8 ball. Nicccee. Now I can figure out for sure when Connor is high."

He yanked the ball out of it's box and asked, "Is Connor high?" He shook it, "Without a doubt."

"Does Connor eat hamburgers with moldy cheese?"
"Absolutely."

"Does Connor is gay?"
"Ask me again."

"DOES CONNOR IS GAY?"
"Ask me again."

We all pitched in, even Connor, "DOES CONNOR. IS GAY?"

We all waited for Jared to read the answer. "Even I'd like to know." Connor said.

Jared sighed, "Ask me again. This thing's a piece of junk." He put it on the floor.

"Cake time!" Zoe said, running into the kitchen, "Strawberry or chocolate, Jared!"

Jared looked over his shoulder to the direction of the kitchen and took a deep breath, "Zoe..." He said calmly, "I'm lactose intolerant."

"Aw sh-" Zoe said, before emerging with both cakes, "More for us, then!"

Alana went into the pantry and got out a bag of goldfish, sticking a candle through the bag.

We all sang happy birthday and Jared blew out his candle.

"So you guys got all my favorite colors, but you didn't know I was lactose intolerant?" He asked, and we all shrugged simultaneously. He smiled, "You guys are perfect."

-

My fingers started to hurt from typing so much so I hope this was satisfactory.

Word Count: 1865
Originally Published 5/23/20