J U N E 3 0 T H

~

When I arrive back at Hogwarts, something is wrong. I haven't been here in months, and I stand momentarily transfixed, staring around the vast entrance hall. I've forgotten how wonderful it is, how grand and magical, and my heart thuds with the exhilaration of seeing it again. But it's different.

I don't have any bags with me; I'm not here to stay. I want to go say hello to my old friends, even if they don't like me anymore, and I have to find Draco. But I'm here to see Professor McGonagall about my subjects and options after having missed a year, so I decide it's best to get that over with first.

But as I venture up the great staircase, I can't shake the feeling that something isn't quite right. The castle is eerily still. There's no-one around, and even the characters in the paintings are strangely quiet. I don't want to voice my concerns because I don't want to worry over nothing, but it's all very unsettling.

"Isobel?"

Hermione voice echoes unnaturally in the silence, startling me. She jumps the last few steps of the staircase and hurries over to me, her eyes wide. "Oh, hey," I say, smiling sheepishly.

She stares at me. "Why are you here?"

"To- to sort out some stuff," I say feebly. "Um, how's the year been?"

Hermione is frantically shaking her head. "Isobel, you need to go," she says. "You can come back to – to do whatever another time, but right now you – you need to get out of here. Right away. Go, please go."

I frown. "Why?"

"I'm not sure," Hermione says desperately. "Harry burst into the common room earlier and us to split his Liquid Luck between us – Ron and Ginny and I – and I don't know, he was freaking out, Isobel, and, well, Malfoy was mentioned too-"

"What?" I interrupt quickly.

"I don't know, I really – I don't know how much I'm allowed to tell you or how much I really even know or understand myself but I've just lost Luna and we were meant to be watching Snape together and-"

"Snape? Why Snape?"

"Hermione? Isobel?"

Luna steps serenely down and out of the staircase, her composure contrasting hugely to Hermione's distress. "Hey Luna," I say, wishing I could offer more than my hurried smile I shoot her, but Hermione has completely thrown me. "Hermione," I say slowly. "Please calm down for just a second-"

"Don't tell me to calm down!" says Hermione furiously. "You need to leave here, it's not safe. Luna, we need to find the others, and quickly."

"I'm not leaving," I retort, and I can't help but match her tone. "Let me come with you."

"Of course you can come", says Luna kindly. I smile gratefully.

Hermione looks like she's about to say something but bites her lip, thinking the better of it. Luna and I follow her wordlessly down the empty corridor.

I'm still unsure what exactly we're looking for, or who we need to talk to, but we don't have to travel far to find out. Once we've turned about three corners, we hear shouting. And it sounds horrific.

The scene dazes me. Once we turn the corner, at least fifty people are visible, filling the Astronomy wing, terrifyingly colourful spells whizzing in every direction. People are all over the place, screaming, yelling, some even laughing derisively; shooting to kill. They are fighting. Real fighting, in Hogwarts. That could only happen if...

And then I see them. The masks, black and scary, and unmistakable. There are Death Eaters in Hogwarts.

I don't know how long I've been standing there, staring at the battle raging in front of me, when a head of wild red hair catches my eye. I grab Ginny's arm and pull her aside, to the wall where we're safe. "What's happening?" I ask. "How did they get in? Are you alright?"

Ginny, like Hermione, stares at me. I remember the last time we properly spoke; the anger and resentment in her eyes as she told me I couldn't help anymore. But there's no anger in her voice as she tells me, "Isobel, please get out of here. People know you, and they're angry; they'll hurt you."

This is what Hermione told me, but I still don't understand. I shake my head. "Do you know where Draco is? Or Harry?"

"I don't know where Malfoy is," says Ginny, speaking quickly. We edge along the wall behind people so that we remain unseen. At the end of the room, something crashes and someone screams so loud that their voice drowns out everyone else's, but I don't dare look. "And the last place Harry was seen was in the common room. He ran out, but no one knows where he went. Isobel-"

"Will you tell me what's going on with Draco?"

"I don't know, Isobel, I'm really sorry," says Ginny sincerely. "Harry didn't explain much to Ron and Hermione and they didn't explain much to me. I really hope your year's been okay and I wish we could talk more but- watch out!" She shoves me out of the way as a curse comes flying at us. It hits the wall between us.

"Thanks," I say breathlessly.

"I have to go," says Ginny, glaring around for whoever shot the curse at us. "Please stay safe."

"Do you know where Draco is?"

"No, but don't go looking for him," she says, turning back to me with a serious look. "If you can't get home then go to the common room, okay?" She startles me by pulling me into a sudden hug.

"But why?" I ask, looking wildly around for him. "What's he done?"

Before Ginny can answer, I have spotted him. He's near the corner of the room, fighting through the crowd to get to the spiral staircase that leads to the Astronomy Tower.

I have crossed the room within seconds, barely aware of the people bumping against me, fighting, of the spells zooming past my ears; of the ceiling that has caved in at the centre of the room. All that matters is that I can reach him; that I can finally know him again.

When Draco's eyes lock onto mine, a thousand emotions seem to flood through his face. He grabs my elbow and pulls me into a corner, but he moves slowly, as if he's in a daze. "Belly?"

His voice still rings in my head: I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. The last words he spoke to me. I want to hug him, kiss him, touch him, speak with him. But I'm so confused, and I stay rooted to the spot. "What on earth is going on?"

Draco shakes his head. He's acting just like Ginny and Hermione did, but more... Shameful? Guilty? I can't tell. My heart is pounding by now, my hands are shaking, and he's not doing anything to make it any better. "Go," he says softly. "Get out of here."

A spell whizzes past us, just missing Draco's ear, but he doesn't seem to notice. I push him around the corner, out of sight of everyone else. "What's happened in here?"

"You shouldn't be here," he croaks, looking tearful. "Why are you here, Belly?"

I fold my arms, taking him in for long moments. Finally, I say, "Is something wrong with your hands?"

He blinks. "What?"

"You haven't been replying to my letters. Why not?"

Draco looks as though he's about to faint. He's deathly pale. So much so, I suddenly realise, that he almost looks ill. His face is miserable, gaunt-like, and he's thin. Too thin. "I - I haven't had time".

"That's rubbish," I say coldly. "I haven't had much time either, but it hasn't stopped me sparing five minutes a month to send you a quick update. You know, let you know that I'm not dead and that."

"I'm sorry."

"That's not good enough."

"Listen Belly, I've had a really rough year and-"

"You've had a rough year?" I interrupt, shoving his chest. "Pardon me if I'm wrong, but wasn't I the one stranded at home without a word of news from anyone, comforting my depressed mother all day, stuck in the same place that I've always associated with my dead dad and so been totally unable to escape the pain of losing him?" Tears glisten in my eyes. "And then you-" I shove him again- "to hear absolutely nothing from you, not a word to let me know if you're dead or alive and if you hate me or love me-" I pause. Looking like he's about to break, Draco turns his head away from me. "For six months, Draco," I say quietly. "That's been the story for six months, like I've been living the same day over and over again. And then I come here, and you tell me that you've had a rough year?" I glare at him. "My heart bleeds for you."

Draco keeps his eyes on the floor. It's as if the fight behind us isn't even happening. "You don't know what's been happening, Belly. If you knew, I'm sure you would understand." His voice is croaky, like he's about to cry. "I know you would. But you can't... You can't be here, Belly. It's not safe for you."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I ask angrily. "Why can't someone just tell me what's going on?"

Shaking his head, Draco turns his back to me. I notice his shirt is untucked and half of his buttons are undone. His hair is messy, his cloak torn. He seems... Broken. This is not the Draco I know. "I need to go," he says softly. "And you need to stay away from me."

"What? Stay away from you? Why would I ever- Draco, what's going on?"

He starts to move away from me. "Just take my word for it."

"I won't take your word for it Draco, I need you to tell me what is happening. This is all so stupid-"

"I can't, Belly. I have to go."

I try to swallow the lump in my throat. It doesn't work. I reach out, slowly, and touch his hand. "Do you still love me?" I whisper.

Draco's head snaps up. "Of course I still love you, Belly. Of course I love you, you're the best thing that ever happened to me." He's finally looking at me, and I can see bags beneath his eyes. He squeezes them shut. "I just... I can't deal with losing you."

I furrow my eyebrows. "Losing me?"

Draco stares at me for what feels like hours, as if he's trying to hold onto the moment. Then he sighs. "You're not going to love me anymore after tonight. I- I've done something bad, Belly. And it's about to get worse."

"But what have you done, Draco?"

He shakes his head, still gazing at me intensely, taking me in. "Stay here," he says. "Don't go back there, please. I'll be down soon."

I grab his hand, still not understanding, but I can't find any words to say other than; "I love you too."

From the look in his eyes, I think I may have broken his heart. He squeezes my hand, and suddenly, even though he is standing right in front of me, I miss him more than ever. "Don't follow me," he whispers.

And then, he is gone.