Dear Diary,

God, I am so in love with him.

Today marks Phil and I's first wedding anniversary. I can't believe how quickly this year has gone; so, so much has happened that I'm struggling to recall everything. Our wedding day still sticks in my memory like it was yesterday, and I'm constantly replaying it in my mind so I never forget it. I still don't understand how I got so lucky. After everything that happened before I proposed, I wouldn't have blamed Phil if he'd told me I was dead to him and had moved on with his life. I would've respected that and I would've allowed him to walk away - I wouldn't have forced him to stay with someone like me. But, he stayed. The day he agreed to marry me, I swore to him that I would never leave him again. I will continue to stick to that promise until the day I die. When I left, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought meeting someone new would help me to move on, but nothing was shifting the constant ache that I felt in my heart. It was that that made me realise how much I needed Phil.

It's crazy to think we met on Kik, purely because I found his username in his description and thought he was attractive from what I saw from his display picture. Normally I'd regret starting conversations with boys from Tumblr because they'd all be after the same thing; once you've got past the general flirting and sweet talk, all they want is to see your dick. But I can honestly say that messaging Phil was the best decision I ever made.

At the minute, Phil's in the shower. It's 7:52 p.m. We put Dillon to bed about an hour ago, and he's asleep in his crib next to me as I'm writing this. He looks so peaceful. He reminds me of Phil when he's sleeping. Last night, Dillon started crying and I heard Phil get up to see him almost immediately, and I can honestly say that I fell in love with that man all over again. Seeing him at his most natural, caring for our child, with the moonlight shining through the blind and illuminating his bare chest, I swear I fell in love with him ten times over.

I'm so happy things turned out like this. I've said it before but, GOD, I am so, so in love with Phil Howell-Lester.

Signing out,

Dan :)