1/30/16

Dear diary,

I'm seriously having a mental breakdown right now. I've been locked in my room all day and I couldn't bother to answer any texts or calls. I've pretended to sleep whenever Mom or Dad or Minseok came by my room. Me just being quiet even though I'm crying.

I can't stop crying.

I don't want to care anymore.

But I think I care too much. 

I care way too much about people think about me. 

Please don't make me the bad guy.

I don't want to go through this shit again. Please. I barely made through it the first time. 

God, I'm so sorry, Jongdae. I really am. I hope you don't hate me too much for missing our date again. I promise that I do like you. I really do.

I'm so, so sorry.

I guess, I haven't really changed.