'Dear Diary!

Today was alright, i went to work and earn money like we are required to. I don't like working anymore, but I just started the new job, I can't quit already. But i hate working with all those people, i'm not good at conversations, being a waiter was the wrong decision. Every time i walk up to the table and have to say something or bring their food i just internally panic and i can't pronounce the words, i forget everything i wanted to say! it's so embarrassing, i hate it, i want to quit. But I won't, sometimes it can be fun, if it's not too busy. But I don't really feel part of the team...

Other colleagues have made a friend with someone there, there are these two girls who ended up being good friends. I also want a friend. Why don't I have a friend? I wanna hang out with someone too. I also want to talk about my day and boy things with someone. I can't talk to my parents about stuff like that, they don't understand things my age people have. I tried talking to them about my favorite artist but they just smiled and nodded, they didn't understand. I wish i had a friend i could talk to about things like that.

I tried texting seokjin but he hasn't really replied since then, he keeps being busy so i stopped asking him to hang out. I feel like I'm bothering him. and if someone really wants to see me they will ask me right? and he doesn't ask me so... he doesn't want to see me right? Again, what am i doing wrong? I don't understand why people never want to be friends with my Diary, please tell me why.

I am kind, I'm kinder than anyone they will ever meet, I give them presents, I ask them if they are okay, I listen to them, I support them in whatever they do, I go see them even when I'm busy. yet no one stays. they all just lose interest and ignore me in the end.

I hate them,

I hate everyone.

But no matter! I will go to an amusement park with my brother today! He will pick me up tonight and we will go there tomorrow morning very early. I'm so excited! My brother is the best, I do miss him not living with us anymore sometimes, but he is a few years older, he already is living his own life. while i'm still here without money. But my parents dont mind, so that's fine.

Anywayyy It is going to be much fun, talk to you later again. thank you for listening, you will always listen to me right? of course you will, hihi. bye byeee~

My friend, my diary'