Dear Diary

Today after sometime of thinking I've decided to stop talking to my friend, it's gonna be hard she was... Who am I kidding she is my friend. The thing is she doesn't know I stopped talking to her.

I have also have given her, her birthday present today, sure hearing her say "thank you" made me feel like maybe we are friends, and hugging her it made me feel like she actually cares and that we are still friends, no sisters.

That's what we always thought we were, best friends because God knew no mother could handle us as sisters. I honestly miss the times we used to hang out, the times when I knew I could call her crying because of something bad had happened knowing that she will answer, even if it was 3 in the morning, now I'm not even sure that if I called her crying 3 in the morning that she'll answer my call.

You'd think that ending a relationship with someone you loved with all your heart is the most horrible thing you have very felt. But that's wrong, seeing your best friend lose interest in you, seeing her walk away from you when you fall to the ground crying because of your tormenters, hearing her change her plans with you just to go with someone else, that's what pain is.

Pain is watching someone you have trusted for years suddenly drift away from you because of someone they think they love. Pain is when you watch someone you care about suffer because of the person they love and knowing if you say something to them about it they will freak out. That's what pain is.

He doesn't care about her I know he doesn't if he did he wouldn't watch her as she bleed or cried, he wouldn't say "get over it" he would not, he just wouldn't be a jerk to her when she is crying over the phone talking to him.

That's how her boyfriend is to her, I can't say anything to her like "dump him" or "he's just making it worst for you" because I know she knows I hate that they are together so saying this will just make things worst for me.

Like I said before its time I stop hurting myself by thinking we can still be friends and start off new or as new as its gonna get.

From now on I'm not putting myself through this pain anymore, or maybe I will if I stops talking to her?

If I have more pain that's fine but it will past, and I'll learn to live without her, my best friend.

Sorry dear diary

This ones a bit longer but oh well!
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