We stand in the middle of the crowd having a chat as we wait for the winners to be announced. Jihoon stands next to me, holding my hand with our fingers intertwined while Yeonjun and Suri are doing the same in front of us.

"So what do you plan to do if you win tonight?" Suri asks.

Jihoon smiles.

"Well, celebrate I guess... This wouldn't mean much since I'd have to compete again to have the major prize anyways."

"I'm sure you're gonna make it, you were incredible. I didn't know I had a potential idol around me, but you're really talented." I say, encouraging him. He turns his head and smiles at me, before placing a soft, quick peck on my cheek that makes me blush.

"Is this the career you are looking for?" Yeonjun asks this time, moving his arm to place it around Suri's shoulders.

He nods.

"I've always wanted to be an artist, I've been practicing dancing and singing for years now." He explains, scratching the back of his neck nervously. I chuckle.

"It was totally worth it."

"I agree. It's nice to think that we could have a famous friend who will invite us to concerts and awards." Suri jokes, slightly pushing him playfully.

We all laugh until we hear the contestants being called to go to the stage. Jihoon smiles at me, letting out a big breath before he leaves to join the other singers. I can feel all the girls around glaring at me, but I don't pay attention.

I feel nauseous, just as if it was me who was competing. Suri laces her arm with mine, rubbing it with her palm to comfort me.

"It's okay, he's good." She assures.

I sigh, watching him standing there in front of us. The fluorescent lights illuminating his figure, and I can tell he's nervous by the way he keeps licking and biting his own lip. We lock eyes in the distance, I smile at him and give him a thumbs up that makes him grin.

But soon the moment we've been waiting for comes. Some other guy's name is called, the crowd cheers and screams for him as he bows with a big smile, making Jihoon even more nervous. I gulp, feeling my palms sweating.

But then... His name is called.

"Park Jihoon."

His face lights up immediately, and a big bright smile form's on his pretty face. Girls screaming all around us, a lot of whistling and applauses as he bows. The excitement and the same feeling of pride I felt before fills me entirely, and I can't help but scream and applaud for him too.

When he leaves the stage, he runs to me ignoring once again all the girls around him calling his name. I open my arms for him with a huge smile, and he wraps me in a tight hug, lifting me up in the air and making us turn around and chuckle. He puts me down, caressing my head and my face with both of his hands, then pressing his lips against mine.

"You made it, I'm so proud of you!" I exclaim when we finally pull away. I cup his face with my hands and caress his cheeks with my thumbs, genuinely happy for him.

Suri and Yeonjun join us right away, congratulating him and telling him how talented he is.

Late at night, we're all at Jihoon's place, celebrating his triumph and of course, his 20th birthday. We've been dancing and drinking for a while now, and even though I'm not drunk, I do feel like I've loosened up a lot.

Jihoon is leaning against the wall, holding his drink and chatting with Yeonjun. He's not wearing the red velvet jacket anymore, so now he's just on that sleeveless black and white stripped shirt he had underneath, making his biceps look incredible as he keeps flexing and moving his arms. His naturally tanned skin keeps pushing me to stare at him relentlessly and I'm confused about the way I'm feeling.

He's so hot, so handsome... And he's my boyfriend.

I've always found him attractive, but after all that has happened between us, I must admit I'm feeling strongly attracted to him, and it's making me want him in ways I never thought I would.

It could be the alcohol... Or maybe his own charms. Should I just allow myself to feel this way?

"I see you staring, huh?" Suri whispers in my ear, startling me. I turn my face and look at her confused.

"What?"

She chuckles.

"You're drooling. I never thought you would look at someone who isn't Soobin that way."

Soobin...

I shrug.

"Neither did I." I admit, diverting my gaze to look at him again, but this time he notices and smirks at me, sending chills down my spine. "But he's really attractive, and... I don't know if I should feel this way." I confess, looking back at her.

She frowns.

"What? Feeling attracted to him? Why shouldn't you?"

"You know... Because of my feelings for Soobin and stuff..."

She rolls her eyes.

"Okay listen, you decided to leave Soobin behind and move on. This is your boyfriend now, we are not talking about a one night stand... There's absolutely nothing wrong with you feeling attracted to the guy you're dating, dumbo."

"I mean, yeah... But... If it's not love..."

"Do you think all couples feel love when they start dating? Nah sweetie, it all starts with chemistry and sexual, physical attraction. Love comes after, when you start sharing your life with each other, when you go through the ups and downs... It's not that easy. What you feel about Soobin is kind of different cause it's been one-sided and platonic for a long time, but even when you haven't been a couple, you've shared things together and you never really saw him as just a friend anyways."

I process her words in my head, spacing out momentarily as I find my eyes glued to him all over again. Maybe she's right and I shouldn't pressure myself this much... Maybe I should enjoy and just let things flow and bloom between us.

"Yeah... Maybe you're right." I mutter, watching him as he stares at me with a dark gaze. I take another sip of my drink, flirting with him using nothing but our eyes.

"Stop holding back, y/n. He's hot, he's yours and I'm sure you're both thinking the same right now. That guy is crazy about you."

I quickly look at her, and she winks at me. I feel my cheeks burning, probably tinted in red.

I don't respond, but she pushes me slightly towards him. I turn my head and send a death glare in her direction, but Jihoon approaches me soon enough to stop myself from smacking her face.

"You okay?" He asks with a gentle smile on his face. I smile back at him, nodding.

"Yes, you?"

He nods, leaning forward to brush his lips against my ear.

"But if you keep staring at me so rudely I won't be, because you're driving me insane."

My eyes widen at his flirty words, coming out of his mouth so suddenly and making me shiver from my head to my toes. I gulp, feeling undescribably excited by his dark aura, so I end up smirking and biting my lip.

Fucking alcohol.

"Can we go inside?"

He cocks an eyebrow at my question filled with double intentions.

"Inside? Sure."

Jihoon excuses himself and holds my hand, dragging me into the house. Suri winks at me while hugging Yeonjun, I shake my head chuckling.

We enter the house and go upstairs, soon stopping in our tracks in the middle of his hallway. He stands in front of a white door I assume it's his room, however, he turns and faces me.

"Why did you want to come here? Do you feel sick or something?" He asks, looking at me with concern.

I let out a nervous chuckle, shaking my head.

"No, I'm okay. I just wanted to be alone with you and away from all that noise."

He let's out a breathy chuckle, stepping forward and cupping my cheeks with his palms.

"Anything you want."

I smile, losing myself in his round, sparkly eyes once again. My eyes divert to scan every inch of him. His plump lips look inviting, the way his chest goes up and down as he breathes, how his collarbone is pronounced under that silver necklace. He licks his lips and tilts his head, looking at me ever so intensely that I feel like I could just melt and be at his mercy.

"Jihoon."

"Yes?"

I let out a big breath.

"I like you a lot."

He stays still for a second, but then chuckles, looking down to the floor and with his cheeks tinted in pink.

"I like you more." He confesses, looking back at me and staring into my eyes.

I smile at him innocently, before I push him inside his room, slamming the door closed behind me. He looks at me confused, with his eyes wide open in shock. However, I smirk and push him again until he falls with a plop on his bed.

He slightly lifts his upper body, supporting himself with his elbows as he looks at me, his eyes turning dark and hooded. I climb on the bed and place myself on top of him, straddling him with my legs at both sides of his hips. I lean in, brushing our lips together and feeling his hot, erratic breath against my mouth.

"Shocked?" I whisper against his mouth.

He smirks and licks his lips, placing his hands on my waist and letting his body lay back against the mattress.

"Who would've thought you'd be such a tease, baby." He mutters against my lips "Where's the halo my angel usually has?"

I let out a breathy chuckle.

"Hidden with the angel that has fallen asleep." I say, pressing my lips against his.

Our lips glide against each others. I deepen the kiss, moving my mouth slowly and smoothly, with him following my lead. I bite his lower lip gently, lightly sucking on it right after and making him groan against my mouth. He moves his hands up until he digs his fingertips on my nape, sliding his tongue into my mouth, flicking the tip of his wet muscle against mine in a sensual fight for dominance. I rock my hips, grinding against him, making him hard and prominent.

He roams his hands again down my body, holding my waist before he squeezes my butt and makes me whimper, switching our bodies, hovering over me this time without breaking the kiss.

"You are so damn beautiful." He growls between kisses, devouring my mouth delicately but passionately.

He pulls away from my lips and starts kissing my jaw, trailing kisses down my neck, making the hairs of my body stand up. He leaves open mouthed kisses all over my sensitive skin as he runs his warm hands over my shoulders and arms. He licks and nibbles on my earlobe and underneath, sucking gently on my sweet spot. I let out a soft moan, but he silences me by kissing my lips again. He runs his hands down my body, squeezing my clothed breasts and massaging them gently. I moan again, feeling his hand make its way down my dress, lifting the hem of it just to caress my thighs dangerously close to my crotch.

I place my hands on his neck and he breaks the kiss, but stays just mere inches away from my mouth as we both pant. The temperature raising in our bodies, the atmosphere hot and filled with lust around us. He pulls back, taking off his shirt and throwing it away. His toned body is exposed, and I can't believe this man would want someone like me, in a situation like this.

"Jihoon." I moan when he reattaches his lips to my neck. I run my fingers over his toned abs, biting my lip. He moves his mouth until he finds mine, running his tongue over my bottom lip.

"Please, ask me to stop before I go any further." He breathes in between kisses, brushing his lips against mine. I feel his fingers graze my inner thighs, and I can't help but feel myself already throbbing, craving for his touch.

"No, I won't. Please don't stop." I breathe, kissing him again.

His hands move further down to the waistband of my panties, sliding his fingers in right after and making me shiver at his touch. He playfully runs them between my folds as we keep making out.

"You're so wet." He breathes parting lips with me. "I can't believe I made you like this. I'm so ready to make you feel good, baby."

"You're too hot not to feel this way."

His eyes lock with mine, his orbs intense in return. He smirks sensually and licks his lips as he keeps running his finger up and down my sweet button, making it impossible for me to hold back my moans.

"I'm crazy about you." He says as he spreads my legs open, standing in between them before he leans down. His lips start grazing and kissing on my inner thighs, his fingers still teasing my core at the same time.

He pulls my panties down, throwing them somwhere in the room. He squats and licks his lips before I suddenly feel his tongue licking a strip of my slick.

"Oh, God." I moan at the pleasure I had never experienced before. He flicks his tongue expertly, sucking gently on my clit and making my mind go blurry. He grips my thighs, digging his fingertips on my skin as he keeps eating me out, now pumping his tongue in and out of my core.

"You taste so sweet." He mutters, reattaching his tongue and lips on my clit. He slides one of his digits inside me, and it stings but it doesn't take long for me to feel pleasure instead. He pushes it in and out of my hole, licking and sucking on me at the same time. I move one of my hands down, tangling my fingers in his hair, applying slight pressure on his head so he can go deeper against me.

I become a moaning mess as I tug con his hair and gain a few groans from him, feeling my climax approaching in my stomach when my legs start to shake uncontrollably. The way he looks up and our gazes meet while he keeps his face buried between my legs pushes me to the edge. I arch my body as he speeds up his movements until I come undone in his mouth. He keeps licking and helping me to get out of my high, pulling back with soft kisses when I start to pant. He wipes his mouth and brings his wet fingers to his mouth, licking them clean. He smirks before he kisses me again on the lips and gives me a taste of myself with it. I feel his hardness pressing against my leg, so I move my hand to place it on his bulge, massaging him over his cloth. He breaks the kiss and lets out a husky moan, biting his lip harshly as he grunts.

He looks really hot.

He unbuckles his belt and unbuttons his pants, grabbing his dick and pulling it out of his boxers. He kisses me again and I shyly place my hand on it, shakingly grabbing his length and pumping it, running my thumb over his swollen tip. I'm not sure about what I'm doing and I'm scared, but he seems to enjoy it by the way his breathing has become rigged. He moans against my mouth, turning me on even more. I speed my movements, pumping him faster and stimulating him as I graze my fingers over his thickness. He starts to pant and moan a little louder bucking his hips against my hand, looking for more pleasure, groaning and throwing his head back, with his eyes closed in pure bliss. The sweat making the skin of his neck and chest glow, until he let's out a gutural groan and cums in my hand.

He tries to catch his breath, panting and looking ridiculously majestic, collapsing right beside me and burying his face in the crook of my neck. He opens his eyes and smiles, pecking me on the lips.

"Wait here." He jumps off the bed and grabs a clean towel from his bathroon that thankfully was right in his room, coming closer to me and helping me clean myself and my hands, throwing it away as well when I finish.

He climbs on the bed again and lays on his back beside me, wrapping my body with his arm and resting my head on his chest. Guilt fills me when Soobin's face start coming back to my mind. The day we kissed, his voice, his dimples, and how idiotic I am for missing him. What the hell am I doing? Jihoon is my boyfriend and we just had intimacy.

I press my eyes shut, trying my best to get him out of my head.

"That was amazing... But, are you okay with just this?" I ask, looking up to meet his gaze, concerned.

He smiles, placing a long lasting peck on my forehead.

"I'm okay." He assures. "I don't want to pressure you. If we go further, it will be because you're ready and want us to."

"But why do you think I don't want it?"

He caresses my cheek with his fingers.

"Because although this has been one of the best days I've ever had, although I'm incredibly happy because you're now my girl and I'm madly in love with you, and although I know you like me... I also know you haven't had intimacy with anyone, and that your heart doesn't belong to me yet. I love you, I wouldn't disrespect you like that."

I don't say anything, I just cup his face and kiss him gently. I pull back from the kiss before I wrap my arm around his torso and hug him tightly, pressing my cheek against his chest and breathing him in. I feel his heartbeats accelerate against my face, and tears start forming in my eyes. I place a kiss on his bare chest, feeling my lip quivering in total silence.

Cause I know that what he said is true. And I don't know If I will be able to find someone who respects me and treats me the way he does.

Is this the way you feel about me, Soobin? Liking me while loving another woman? Cause if it's like this... I can't blame you. Even with all the pain you're causing me, at least you're honest and not as cruel as I am being, forcing myself to something I don't know if someday is gonna happen... because I'm desperately trying to live my life without you.

I don't deserve him, I never will.

I'm sorry Jihoon. I'll try my best, I promise.