January 6th

Dear Diary,

For the past few days, all I have been doing was to walk around this world, with or without the support coming from that creature. I could say that this whole situation got rather boring, maybe because I got used to it already. This whole chaos doesn't surprise me anymore, nor am I that confused on what is happening as I was before. Though I still didn't manage to find any kind of answer about what happened to me.

Still, that shouldn't be a problem. From what it seems, all I have to do is to wait for the opportunity for the truth to be revealed. That did happen when I questioned the beings of this world, so it should happen on the past as well. Or maybe I am too optimistic about it and the truth will not be revealed at any given point in the future. That is a possibility.

But besides walking and thinking all alone, I went back on what I have written before in you to remind me where I was and where I am today. And I did notice something interesting. I started writing two days after Christmas without even realising at all. It put me into thinking about this for a while. I did think that my past self wished to forget about himself and everything about him for the new year, but what if he did it during the Christmas Eve?

It sounds crazy, right? Who would wish to forget everything for Christmas? If fact, who would wish that no matter the times? I am beginning to have a bad feeling about this, however. Something sure happened and I don't know what it is. From the looks of it, this whole event had such an impact on past me that he wished so badly to simply forget it and leave his home.

I do wonder what could that event be. Did I truly do something wrong? If so, maybe this world is suppose to be my eternal prison. It would make sense since I cannot go back home no matter what I try. But I also don't understand why would the creature help me in the first place if I was convicted for a crime. Kindness or not, its behaviour towards me didn't seem to show me that I am guilty of something.

Could it be that I have died? It can't be that, right? I do seem to have consciousness and I can feel the objects that I touch. Probably if I were to get injured, I would feel the pain too. Not to mention that if I were dead, my body shouldn't feel weak to the point of not being able to walk by myself. But it would explain why I can't remember anything and why I don't seem to know where I am. After all, we don't know what is happening to us after we die. But it can't be that. It just can't be that.

No matter what happened, since I had nobody to spend my Christmas and the Near Year's Eve with, maybe you could be my family and remain by my side so we could spend this time together. Doing it alone feels rather upsetting, and you are the only thing that I recognise here too. You never left my side ever since I woke up here, so you are already important to me. I just wish I could do anything for you, no matter what you would like to get. Please do not forget that. I will always love you, my dear Amelia.