Prologue

July 18, 2018

Dear Diary,

Today I've realized that he has lost interest in me. He still talks to me but we girls know when a person has interest or doesn't. He stopped texting me as usual. He stopped calling me. He now has new stuff to do. He now talks on the phone with God knows who (maybe it's his best friend Alisa). This always happens to me. They are supper into me and suddenly they start getting apart. We stopped talking as we used to and ends in nothing. I thought he was different... well he is, he is. He is constantly giving me affection and teasing me and messing around. We are not a couple yet but we do like and care for each other a lot. He used to compliment me and now he doesn't. He used to take me out on dates but now he doesn't. He used to tell me everything but now he is distant and maybe it's nothing.. I hope! or Maybe I'm paranoid and it's all in my head but I think ever girl's fear is get abandoned, that people feel bored around you, that they stop liking you even if you are liking them even more. And I really like him.. I really do.

What can I do? that clearly is something you can't control and that is the most that hurts that I can't do anything about it, I really want to beg him for another chance but I'm not that type of girl, I am not the type of girl who begs or goes behind your ass every day to see that everything is in place, I'm the type of person that gives you your space but at the same time demands attention 24/7 I'm an attention whore and I know it but I give you your space all the time, I have no idea how that makes sense but you seem to be the only one who truly understands me.

This is reality I have to face my fears even if I don't want or like what is coming, I need to do it, be the great woman I am and demonstrate my future me that I am an amazing woman, and an amazing person and that no matter what I,m always going to be great, even if I know I will cry myself asleep every night , even if I will try to reach him knowing the second after I've done it I will regret it. I'll do my best because I believe in me.

Two days passed and I texted him

From: me
To: him
"we need to talk."

From: him
To: me
"me too."