Dear diary,

Today is the same like all the other days except that instead of waking up in the morning and not seeing your father was new it was a great change he didn't come home yesterday night and no I'm not worried he must be drunk and asleep at the bar .

For breakfast I ate just a apple and gosh my back hurts like hell from the hits I received yesterday I hope it'll heal fast .

When I arrived in school I noticed natsu waiting for me at the gate wow he literally was waiting for a loser such as myself ?

When he saw I was in front of him he came running at my side and hugged me what a bad idea I flinched from his touch on my back before coming to school I bandaged my poor back .

I think he noticed that he hurt me so he quickly let go and tried to look where I was hurt but me being me just ignored him and walked in class, I completely forgot that he was my seat mate now I won't be able to run away from him I can't and I ......don't want to something in him makes me want to stay in his embrace more .

I'm crazy right? It must be because he's kind and no one was kind with me for 18 years well except for Virgo but that's the only one . So maybe I feeling attached as in a brother and sister way he's caring like a brother would with his sister .

Our first subject was history and our teacher decided that we'll be doing a project with our seat mate me and natsu had to write the whole story of the titanic like when it was build?,when did it drown,what was the reason,where it happened,how many died and so on .

When the bell rang I took my bento and went to my normal place the roof top and may I tell you that I wasn't alone nastu was following me .

We ate in silent until he cut the strange atmosphere "you know you should talk more you have a lovely voice "

And bam I felt my face becoming hot I think I have a fever or its the hot weather .

School went well always the same routine people talking about me ,some were glaring for no reason,done felt disgusted, some were smiling at me which THAT was NEW no one ever smiled at me since I'm at fairy tail academy .

So as I was saying time flew fast and in a blink of an eye school was finished natsu decided to bring me home he said that at least he'll know where I live .

I was scared what if my father sees him he'll kill us and there's no sarcasm he'll really kill us I tried to decline his offer but him being stubborn as always I agreed I know that even if I refuse he'll follow me rather I like it or not he will just stick to his plan .

What a strange boy .when we arrived I saw his expression turned into a shock one maybe because I live in a mansion .

He talked after like I don't know a good 10 minutes "you live here?" All I did was nod "that house is creepy man " now I'm the one who's shocked the mansion is not creepy it amazing from the outside its only creepy when you get inside when my fathers there .

"Why ?" That's the only word that left my mouth. "Before I enrolled at F.T.A I was walking pass here and I heard shouting ,crying and things breaking what the hell was going on inside ?anyway I was worried so I knocked and a man which I think is your dad opened when I asked him what was happening he told me with a laugh that it was nothing ???"

A laugh my father laughed wow .i had to come up with a back up plan so I said "actually I was helping my maid holding a tray filled with plates and glass cups when I came down the stairs I slipped causing to break everything of course while I was falling I screamed and cried from the pain my father was scolding me to be careful he almost had a heart attack when he saw me on the floor hehe" that's all I came up with I know lame excuse right?

"You know I never heard you talk a lot like that ITS A GREAT START" see I told you he isn't normal . "I have to leave oh and besides my house is right over there were neighbors what a coincidence " I nodded agin and opened my gates I think my father isn't home cause if he was he'll be barging his way here to kill us .

I was about to enter until I felt something soft on my cheek he KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK it was so new that my heart kept beating like a drum again my stomach felt weird and I felt dizzy I think I ate something not good I'm sick it's so obvious "

I quickly ran inside holding my poor heart I'm not hungry so I'll shower and go to bed early I really need it as I took a cold shower like I'm used to since I'm little my father turned the hot water off so that leaves me with the cold water .

I decided to go at the library which is forbidden since that was the only place mother loved she spent her days here well not that I remember but Virgo told me . My father strictly forbidden me to enter or even get near this room . Saying that'll I ruin her memories and her smell if I enter .

I took a deep breath and entered I wanted to cry when I think that mother was once here reading ,cleaning and laughing even writing I wanted to cry the library was huge Virgo once told me that my mother do shed her first novel and she hid it in this library I don't remember the title but I know that her story is here somewhere she also told me that we have 30.000 books I think we have more .

I looked around and stopped at a shelf where a book that had L.H graved on it I took it from the shelf and at the bottom was my mothers name Layla heartfilia the title was LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT I wonder what the hell is that love ? I never felt it before.

I sat down on a comfy pillow near the window and started to read .
It had a neat handwriting it was my mothers writing .

The story was about a small little girl who was lonely one day she was playing at a park and met a little boy they became friends when time past they both grew up leaving each other's side when the boy moved elsewhere and the little girls mother died leaving her with her heart broken father who's heart turned black and hard like stone the little girl who was now 18 suffered more as the days past her father would abuse her and treat her like crap .one day the girl went in a forest to learn what her mother taught her before she died she taught her the names of plants and trees when she was walking she met the boy of her childhood her heart beating fast her head feeling dizzy she knew it was love at first sight at the end they both got together and lived happily ever after just like all fairytales .

So that's love at first sight by it's just a story nothing tells me that what I feel is love especially with natsu . I finished the book and looked at the time it was 8 pm god I spent 4 hours to finish my mother book as I put it back in place I heard my fathers loud voice echoing threw the door .

I forgot to lock the door and there in front of me was my worst nightmare of father he screamed "what the duck are you doing here ?!!!"
I was sooo scared that I couldn't move he did what he always does slaps,throw me against the wall and the shelf ,kicks ,whips with his belt when I was almost fainting he threw me on the book shelf and guess what ?.

The shelf got knocked from the impact making it fall on me this time no one can save me I felt the books and a hard impact on my head and body and last thing I saw was my father leaving the room leaving me bleeding and stuck with the broken shelf on me then all I remember was seeing black .

When I woke up I saw myself still in the same place but a lot weaker then ever I tried to free myself after what felt like hours I was able to free myself my father was no where around I went inside my room when I felt really dizzy and fell on my bed with happy trying to wake me up .

That's all for tonight diary my head still feels dizzy so I'll sleep goodnight

Love Lucy heartfilia xxx