Hello everyone! Yes, I am fully aware that I still owe you all some answers but trust me, my studies have me soooo busy and also you all took your sweet time in sending your questions but I ain't complaining, at least you guys sent them in! (I still love y'all)

I am not going to keep you waiting for very long now. Here we go!

Q: Why choose a diary?

Ans : I thought a long time about how this challenge should be presented and as we all know, the challenges weren't something you can act upon (they were not physical work) and the main point was to pour yourself out and as a person who also keeps a diary I thought that the best way to do that was through a diary. Because to me, it's just the best way, to write something down and never have an answer, never hear a judgement, it's just you sharing and expressing yourself. So that is why I chose a diary, hope it makes sense!

Q : I have a feeling that Veronica is somewhat based on a true person? Am I right?

Ans : No, she isn't based on a true person. Some aspects of her life or her experiences may or may not have been taken from a few people I know, but for the most part, no.

Q : What was the hardest part to write?

Ans : There were definitely some chapters where I literally got stuck because they were completely off topic. This book has, without a doubt, really tested my abilities. For me, the epilogue was the hardest to write because with the last part I had wrapped up nothing and I had to wrap up literally every single piece of her story in one chapter and I also had to be very careful so that I didn't reveal before hand that she wasn't married to Brandon. So the epilogue was definitely the hardest and took the longest time. The prologue was pretty hard too, I actually deleted a whole written draft and re-wrote the prologue because I was not satisfied.

Q : How did you decide the title?

Ans : I originally came up with a rather shitty title but then my friend who helps me in alll of my writing problems was like "That is the worst title ever" and it really was, lol. Then I came up with "Unhinged" and we both seemed to agree with it. When I started writing, on my instinct, I started the first chapter with "Dear Diary" and I thought about changing the title (the book was not published by then) and I asked my friend again that if she saw two different books with those titles, which would she pick and she said "Dear Diary", like I know it's very common but I thought this was more appealing, so I picked this.

Q : What led to you deciding to write this story?

Ans : When I finished writing "Old Love Dies Hard" I just really missed creating a story and writing so I thought long and hard about a story idea and with the influence of a lot of books I had previously read, I came up with the idea of "Dear Diary". The challenge I used is a mixture of all of the best challenges I could find on Tumblr. So yeah, the idea didn't just come up naturally lol, I had to think a lot before I could actually put it into black and white.

Q : Did Veronica heal from Travis's loss by getting something better with Brandon?

Ans : No, I don't think she did. Her relationship with Travis can never be compared to that with Brandon and vice versa. I think both of them had a very special and a very distinct place in her heart. As we saw from chapter 19 (where she thinks it's Travis sitting in front of her while it's actually Brandon)  she clearly never got over Travis and I don't think she ever will. Even though she loved Brandon a lot, he will never be a match for Travis.

Q : Are there any sequels or spin-offs planned?

Ans : I'm sorry but no. All the people who have been following my work since the beginning will know that I am not a big fan of sequels or spin-offs until it's totally necessary, it just kind of takes away the essence. Even "OLDH" wasn't supposed to be a spin-off, my friend gave me a suggestion to make it a spin-off because that will make more sense. As I always say, less is more!

Q : What was the greatest heartbreak for Veronica? Losing her father? Travis? Or herself?

Ans : While the others were also pretty gut-wrenching, I think the worst has to be losing herself. Because when you have no one, you have yourself and losing even yourself and losing the sense of who you are sounds really scary to me so that has to be the worst heartbreak for her.

Q : If Veronica was still with Brandon, does she think she would be happier?

Ans : Brandon did make her happy, no doubt, but he was also a reminder of her past whilst David was a "new beginning". Also, I think in their case it was less about if they made each other happy and more about the circumstances in which they had to split, they clearly still had feelings for each other when they broke up. Sometimes, God just doesn't want something to happen and it's probably for the best.

Q : Who taught Veronica the greatest lesson of her life?

Ans : There were undoubtedly a lot of influences in her life and there could be a list of people who taught her a great lesson but the biggest, again, has to be Veronica herself. I think when she was recovering, she helped herself the most and she did discover a lot of things about herself during the course of this book which taught her a pretty big lesson.

Q : Does she regret her mother recovering late? Maybe, if her mom had recovered earlier she would have had more time with her?

Ans : No, I don't think she does, because even the fact that her mother came around was a big surprise and her going to rehab and becoming her 'mom' again was just a bonus about which Veronica was really happy. Also, I think Veronica learned to appreciate God's timeline and be happy with the way things were happening rather than thinking about how they should have been.

Q : Why did you choose these character names, was it a random choice or is there a meaning behind it?

Ans : When I started writing this book I was binge watching "Riverdale" so I got the name 'Veronica' from there, even though I'm not a huge fan of Veronica in the TV show but the name just kind of stuck. Veronica's son was also previously named 'Max' and I think there's even a typo in the epilogue where he's mentioned as Max, but I named him 'Travis' to honor Travis. I know that's a heavy name but according to me, Veronica kept the happy memories in mind while naming him. Also, David really liked the name so....
The rest were totally random though.

Q : Have you ever thought about telling Travis's side of the story, at least the reasons why he did what he did?

Ans : Yes, in some way I have. Day 14 (the chapter where Brandon and Veronica kiss), had the title "Something that made you feel satisfied" and I thought that in the chapter Veronica would find a letter from Travis, kind of like a suicide note where he explains everything, but that is as far as I have thought about giving Travis a voice. I really love Travis's character a lot but my reasons will be explained later on in the FAQ with the question that you all have been waiting for.

Q : What aspects of Veronica resemble you?

Ans : I wouldn't say that a lot about Veronica resembles me but in some parts of the story I really felt that what I was writing was so much from the heart that I kind of forgot that it was Veronica's story I was telling (if that makes sense). My life has definitely had some ups and downs and I think I really projected that somewhere. Alhamdulilah, the extreme parts were not true for me but I think we all reflect our pain somewhere in our stories.

Q : What don't you like about Veronica?

Ans : Every character has their flaws and I definitely crafted Veronica with a lot of them. I don't like how she blames everything on everyone else but her and she is also a tiny bit whiny (rightfully so). But, throughout the story she did realize these fault of her's along with many others. Either way, perfection is over rated and no character is perfect.

Q : Didn't you sometimes feel limited by the first person POV? Are there any scenes where you wish you could have exploited other people's POV's?

Ans : To some extent, definitely! But I feel very comfortable with first person POV. Also, the premise and idea of the story also kind of restricted me to first person POV because it was someone's diary. As I said, this book really tested my abilities.

Q : Did you know the ending of the story right from the start?

Ans : I knew where I was going but it became clearer towards the end of the challenge. In the beginning, Veronica was going to end up with Brandon. She would not be very happy, like she would be better but not all the way there and NOT because of Brandon but just generally. But then I thought damn, what kinda message is that!? So I changed it up and even though I love Brandon, I am very happy that she ended up with David. I wanted to show that sometimes things don't go exactly as planned but that's not a bad thing.

Q : Are there chapters where you doubt the storytelling?

Ans : As a person who second guesses themselves on an hourly basis, yes, there are plenty of chapters where I doubt the storytelling but I try to believe that I did the best I could and I know that there is always room for betterment so I will keep on writing until I am satisfied (which I will probably never be) but you know what they say, practice makes perfect!

Q : What are you planning on writing now?

Ans : I always have ideas brewing in my head although nothing is crystal clear yet, and I will write but only after 16th of May because that is when my exams end. Wish me luck for those btw!

And now comes the most asked question!!!!!

Q : Why did Travis commit suicide?

Ans : Okay, so you guys are probably, no, definitely, going to hate me for this! There is no 'known' reason for why he did what he did. I think it is very obvious that he was struggling with depression or another mental disease. But while writing this story, I seriously considered giving the reason for his suicide and I thought long and hard but no specific reason came in mind. According to me, no person commits suicide because of one sole reason rather because of many added reasons. I know that everything always works out at the end of a book and as a reader I would obviously expect a reason but as a writer, I put a lot of effort into this story and I couldn't just give a reason that didn't satisfy me as the creator. I don't think that every person who loses someone close to them through suicide gets a reason and that's just the reality. I wanted people to know that they can get better even though they don't have a reason, I wanted this book to be as close to reality as possible. Honestly, I am a very curious person and I still sometimes lay awake thinking of a reason but to no avail. I, as a reader, totally understand your bewilderment and most probably anger at this answer but I want you guys to understand my point of view too.

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That's the FAQ y'all! Let me know in the comments if you still have some questions. If you have any comments about "Dear Diary" I'd love to hear those too!