“Hey, please open the door. I really want to apologize to you,” Charlotte yelled and knocked on the door of Engfa's apartment but no answer came. The door was locked from the inside so Engfa was obviously home. She probably just didn't want to talk to her.

But she was thankful that she at least found the girl's social media through her restaurant’s old page. She found out her name was Engfa Waraha and she was 25 years old, a year older than Charlotte. And that just made her feel even worse, knowing that Engfa is older than her.

She had tried to message her through Line multiple times but she didn't reply. She even tried to get to her through a private id that no ome knew was her but she still couldn't reach her.

* * * * *

Faye had just gotten out of the shower when her phone rang on the bedside table. She stared at the caller's name for a few seconds. Of course, it was Charlotte. She called her even more than her girlfriend nowadays.

She received the call and put it on speaker. Drying her hair with a towel, she spoke up, “What now?” She asked.

“She doesn't respond.” Charlotte said from the other side.

“I should've known it's about that girl. I'll see what I can do,” she replied to her before setting her towel down. “Stay there. You're gonna have to work hard if you want her to forgive you,” she continued and cut the call.

Taking her phone in her hand, she dialed a number. The phone buzzed, sending signals to the number she dialed. After a whole ten minutes of buzzing, the other side picked up. “Hey, Yoko. You know where Eng is?” She asked.

“I don't know, phi Faye. She doesn't answer my calls either. I'm getting worried,” Yoko replied from the other side, her voice almost broken from fear.

“Babe. Calm down. Did you try going to her house?”

“I did. I even called phi Fon. But she doesn't open the door. I'm scared phi Faye,” Yoko's voice broke again.

Faye's eyes widened. That was more serious than she had thought. “I'm coming to you. We'll go to her house together. Charlotte is there as well,” she said and cut the call.

Hurrying out of her room, Faye took a cab immediately to Yoko's house. Picking her up, they went back towards Engfa's apartment.

Seeing them, Charlotte ran towards them. “It has been over an hour. I've been calling but she doesn't answer,” she said to them.

“Why is she here?” Charlotte pointed to Yoko.

“It's not the time to think about that.” Faye pressed.

“Do you have a spare key to Engfa's apartment, Yoko?” Faye asked, turning to look at Yoko.

Yoko gulped, trying to remember. “I-I do,” she stuttered out, her voice almost broken.

She rummaged through her purse for a few minutes before handing Faye a bundle of keys. Faye took the bundle from her hand, hurrying to open the door.

“It's locked from the inside,” Faye murmured.

“Do you have a spare key for the back door?” She asked Yoko again.

“I-in that bundle.”

They hurried to the back door. Fortunately, it was locked from the outside. It usually is. Faye quickly opened the door.

“Phi Eng!” Yoko yelled out, searching for any sign of Engfa everywhere.

“Engfa!” Faye shouted out as well.

Only Charlotte was silent. She never thought her stupid little game would end up going this far. She felt so guilty that she couldn't get a single sound out of her throat. She just silently searched for any sign of the older girl, a strange feeling taking over her whole body and mind. Just why? Why was she like that?

She followed Faye upstairs until Faye in front of her froze, making her bump into the taller's body. She barely managed to escape from behind Faye's body to finally find what was up. It was Engfa, on the floor, unconscious. “Yoko!” Faye yelled once she was done processing.

* * * * *

Engfa's unconscious body, in a blue hospital gown, laid over the hospital bed. Charlotte sat silently on the bed opposite Engfa's. Faye and Yoko were out talking to the doctors. But Charlotte felt like she had gotten numb. All of this… all of this happened because of her, because of that stupid incident, because of her mistake. Now what was she supposed to do? What if she doesn't wake up? What if Charlotte had not only caused her mental pain but also bodily harm? How would she live knowing that she had destroyed her life?

She stared outside the room, she could see Faye and Yoko talking to the doctor outside the room. She could feel her own body trembling, from fear of what might happen, from guilt, from the desperate try to hold back her tears. Because she didn't have the right to cry. She did that. She caused that. She didn't even have the right to ask for forgiveness anymore.

For a few seconds, Charlotte felt like she didn't even have the right to look at the girl next to her. She hadn't uploaded any videos on her channel ever since that video and it'd been more than a week… of her trying to earn forgiveness in the ways she knew. Many of her fans had asked if she was okay, or why she hadn't uploaded, many of them were going crazy, or at least that's what Faye told her because she hadn't checked the comments of that video since the first day.

Crawling her legs together, Charlotte leaned her head against the wall behind. She wanted to cry but she couldn't. She avoided looking at the unconscious body next to her, trying to convince herself that whatever happened to Engfa wasn't her fault. She kept her eyes on Faye and Yoko, noticing them finally coming back into the room towards her.

Faye walked and sat next to Charlotte, placing her hand on her shoulder. Instinctively, Charlotte's eyes roamed to Yoko who walked to Engfa and took Engfa's hand in her own, rubbing soothingly and watching her with sympathy. “Char…” Faye tried to speak to her but Charlotte didn't look at her. She just sat there emotionless or more like trying to hold her emotions.

“Get your hands off of me,” Charlotte murmured slowly after a few seconds of pure silence. That would have been something very rude to say, especially to her best friend but the way she said it… made it seem more desperate.

Faye took her hand off of Charlotte's shoulder and looked down at her own feet. Watching them, Yoko stepped towards Charlotte. “Phi Charlotte… it's okay,” she tried to soothe the older one.

“No, it's not,” Charlotte argued, finally looking up. “What the hell is wrong with me?” She almost yelled out. “How could I do something like that?!?” She shouted louder this time, standing up and stepping forward, looking at Yoko.

Faye immediately stood up, her hands on Char's back. “Calm down, Char. This is a hospital,” she murmured.

Tears pricked at the corners of Charlotte's eyes as she sat back down. But she threatened to suck all of that tears back in. She didn't have the right to cry over this. “Everyone was right,” she mumbled. “I'd end up being like my brother even if I tried. I was born to be a jerk like him.”

“That's not true,” Faye debated from beside her. “You became like him because you never tried,” she paused. “You never tried being otherwise. You never tried to make an effort to fulfill the promise. You became selfish.”

And Charlotte didn't argue anymore. It was true. Her brain wouldn't admit it but it was true. She had become selfish.

“But you're trying now,” Yoko said from the other side. “That's what matters. You're trying to make up for it, even if she doesn't forgive you yet.”

Charlotte looked up at Yoko, shaking her head in denial. “No. It has no worth. My efforts have no worth if she decides to never forgive me,” she murmured. “I'm trying but I ruined her life, her career. It's not worth it.”

Charlotte got up from the bed and walked out of the room. Faye and Yoko understood that she maybe needed some time for herself so they didn't follow after her.

Standing outside the hospital, Charlotte had the urge to break everything down. She's so pissed… at herself. Could she become any worse of a person?

The cold wind blew on her face, making her shiver. But she stood there silently. She knew better than to get back in the room and torture herself more.

In about twenty minutes, she felt the presence of someone next to her, Faye. Faye wrapped her hand around her shoulder as if it was a totally normal occasion of a day to do that but Char didn't brush it off this time.

“She's awake now,” Faye informed.

“And?” Charlotte asked, as if she didn't care.

“You should talk to her. Don't act dumb,” Faye pressed, squeezing Charlotte's shoulder lightly.

“Did she tell you anything about what happened?” Charlotte asked.

“She's talking to Yoko right now. She refused to talk with me there,” Faye explained and sighed.

“How is she related to your girlfriend?” The question got stuck at her throat. It wasn't the time to ask that.

Charlotte looked down at the floor. “Does she know that I'm here as well?” she asked.

“I don't think so.”

Charlotte sighed. She didn't know what she was feeling anymore.

Pity? Why would she pity something she, herself caused?

Guilt? She had passed that stage.

Regret? She was already regretting everything she had done so she had passed that stage as well.

Rage for herself? Maybe, if wanting to escape from her mistake counted.

Shame? Maybe, if wanting to just disappear from everyone's memory counted.

* * * * *

A/n: It was not my intention to make the chapter go such a way. But I ended up just going with the flow. Sorry...

Also, sorry for updating this so late at night (it's almost 3:30 am right now here). I just felt the need to write so bad after sobbing all the way through Pluto ep 11.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did, please vote and comment. It encourages me to continue on ❤️