The Untold Inside Me

Dear Bangtan,

So I want to go back to 2017 I was in 8th standard when I was a kid I was a very timid and petite girl not social and hated to be alone but wasn't able to make friends. I had a horrible stage fear I have been good in studies since I was small but due to my fear, I always stayed away from stage and class representation. That was the age when insecurities started coming same happened to me too I was insecure about many things about myself fear of people and more.

Then I found these 7 boys out of nowhere when we said "You find BTS when it's your time" These words are so true I found them when I needed them. I saw their MV and was like "damn they are so good" even though I didn't understand a word. Then I heard more and more and searched the Eng. sub to know what they were saying and when I started reading the meanings I just fell for them. Looking for their names and birthdays here I am today fully into them.

I am 19 now gonna be 20 this year and today I can proudly say I am an Army and I grew up with BTS. These 7 boys who came as no one in my life became one of the most important parts of me. Making me who I am today. A confident version of myself who is not afraid to sit alone in a crowd, not afraid to speak my mind, not afraid to go against Society, a better version of myself who loves her with everything. Still searching for who I am and looking at the world from a different perspective.

I was depressed in my last year of high school they pulled me out of it. And when people can't see their potential it hurts a lot.

Their words mean more to me than one can imagine. People think being a Fangirl is an obsession. Yes, I shout when I see their little skin which is not little now. Yes, I cry when they cry, yes I laugh so loud when I watch them laugh and be funny and have fun in run BTS, yes I smile looking at them, yes they can change my emotions from sad to happy in seconds, yes I spend so much on them but do I regret anything? No, I don't. They stayed with me in my hardest time and still stayed. Their songs gave me the words that I needed and still need but no one ever said that. Their smiles make my day. When they come live it makes my day less tiresome. Looking at their little videos makes me feel calm after a stressful study session.

Growing up with them I have seen their hardship, seen the criticism, seen the time when they Cried on stage telling how they were talking about disbandment. No one can understand what an army felt that day. Their tears are our weakness and the same for them. we love them and they love us.

Their songs help me to wish for a better tomorrow when I am having a hard time when I think of giving up they are there to tell me it's not the end. They don't know me in person but they help me and love me more than my real people can. And now I am returning it all to them by supporting them. That's the minimum I can do to thank them. I can't describe in words how much I love them they are not an obsession but an inspiration, a motivation to keep going to search for myself to find who I am and to be happy.

The news of them going to the military is a mini heart attack. A turning point for everyone to see something coming up. People don't know that there are many who cried when Jin left and many will do when others will go too. They don't know how the fandom will cry when they will be back in 2025. we all are waiting to work on ourselves, supporting our boys' solo careers and seeing them do what they want to with freedom. Today when I see them being happy with what they are doing without thinking of what others will say makes me so proud. I am proud of them I am happy for them and want to make them proud of me too.

It's so long but have more let's end this here.

In the end, I would say if you are an Army just stay, it's a beautiful feeling we are a family who laugh together, cry together, and stay together.

And hope people will stop spreading hatred for BTS and the army. In the end, I love them all.

Apobangpo, 2025.

By_shre_