I walk, taking a long way home after spending an hour at the dark, secluded park, admiring the view of one of the oldest suspension bridges of Iowa. I remember crossing that bridge with Adrian when we first got here. We explored the city that first year when we were still freshmen. All the memories are still fresh in my mind. We've been so much together that I can't imagine my life away from him.

As I walk through the hills, it starts drizzling, and by the time I take the sidewalk that leads to my complex, it's downright pouring. I hug my trembling frame as raindrops splatter my face, and every frigid drop chills my skin and penetrates my bones. Fucking perfect!

Then my feet come to an abrupt halt when I see the black Harley parked in front of my building and a tall, imposing figure leaning against the beast of a bike.

I stare at him through wet eyelashes, blinking against the icy drizzles, watching as he straightens. He stares up at me, our eyes catching through the spitting rain. And I want to either run towards him because he is here or run back from where I came in if I'm dreaming.

He looks so handsome, even when he is dripping wet, his brown sodden strands messy, sticking across his brow. He's standing tall, with his suit jacket thrown over his right shoulder, while his white shirt clings to his muscular frame, every thread soaked. His white skin looks paler due to the rain. He moves away from the bike, stepping closer towards me, and I blink at him with clattering teeth against the cold.

Standing just out of my arm's reach, he holds my gaze with a look that says it all. He's here, and I'm not imagining it. He takes another step, then wipes away the rivers of rain from his face before pulling out his suit jacket and draping it over my shivering figure. The closeness and the smell of his cologne mixed with his scent have me taking a step back. Now that I know what they can do, I can't take it without confirming what he wants. They are sure to tear down the walls around my heart and leave me gasping while he decides to move on with some blond-haired Barbie.

"Why are you here, Adri?" I ask, my teeth clattering and my voice a mere whisper.

He shoves his hands into his wet hair and huffs out a haughty laugh, then holds me captive with those green eyes. "What you said about us...were you serious?" He grumbles in a deep gravelly voice. It makes me clench my hands into fists from smoothening the tightness of his jaw.

"Every bit of it," I say, nodding my head slowly then taking a confident step forward, closer, my eyes on his, and everything disappears when he finally reaches out and draws me in. He takes slow steps towards me and stops when our shoe touches. He holds my face in his large palms and brushes away the tears falling from my eyes.

"I let him go," I say, my voice shaking as I inhale sharply, his scent reaching every aching corner of my heart.

"Augustus? Why?" he frowns, his eyes running over my face, studying my features for a long passing minute, then he tucks a wet unruly lock of hair behind my ear. His hold is gentle around my face as he thumbs my bottom lip, and both of our breath quickens.

"Because I chose him, but that choice itself wasn't enough to bind us together," I say, the warmth of his hands framing my face making it easier to confess. "The time I spent away from you made me realize that there are so many different shades of love- The shade that fades with time but remains in light tint throughout your lifetime and the shade that grows darker with time. My story with Augustus was the fairytale kind, the dreamy shade but what I have with you is something that I never planned. It just happened, without any choices and no wants."

"What do you mean, V?" He whispers, closing his eyes for a long minute, then they pin me questioningly.

"I love you, Adri. I love you with every piece of my broken heart, every part of my existence. I think I can't be without you either. I can't be without your obnoxious self clinging on to me or your moonlight smile brightening my darkest nights."

"No, V. You were consumed in his love for three years. He is the one you chose, the love of your life." He shakes his head, taking a staggering step away from me, chest rising and dropping with the impact of his heavy breathing. His face darkens when he looks me in the eye. "Did you say that to him when you were with him?"

My heart crumbles, dread burning my insides. "Adri, I do love Augustus. I can't deny it." I brush a wet strand of hair from my face, stare into his eyes, letting my heart out in the open. "But that love was too good to be true, a dream, a fairytale. The time we spent apart when I waited for him, I became a different person. He left me with a wounded heart, but I had already healed when he returned. I had already moved on. And maybe it took me a lot of time to realize that, but I know it now. I do."

He swallows hard, the movement making his jaw clench, and I can sense the vulnerability in his green piercing eyes.

I can't breathe. The weight of my confession and the uncertainty itched on Adrian's face is too heavy against my chest. I can't just expect him to throw everything he has done to move on just for a few words of affection from me. It's too much to ask from him. We both need time to nurse our feelings into something worth- if we still have a chance to reconcile.

"It's not fucking fair, V." He releases a wet-sounding sigh, and I can see his eyes glassing. "You can't just make me feel like some third wheeler trying to woo someone else's girl and then come back to me with your heart at your sleeve, telling me you were my girl all along."

"I'm sorry, Adri," I whisper, throat choking when I look at him. "I'm sorry for ever making you feel that way."

Adrian relaxes against his bike, his shoulders dropping as he runs both of his hands over his hair. The rain has settled to a light windy drizzle, and we are both standing under its harsh pattern. When he realizes I'm watching with so much remorse, he chuckles dryly. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" I take a careful step closer.

"Don't look at me like some broken boy. I don't need an apology." He says, even though he looks a lot broken. "I'm a grown adult. You don't have to coddle or patch up my wounded heart. I can handle rejection very well." When I gather my courage to look at his face, I see his red eyes and feel the hurt radiating from every inch of his body. He shakes his head with a distant memory. "I'm not that fifteen-year-old boy who saw his best friend in a yellow summer dress and realized he might be having feelings you shouldn't have towards your friends, then panicked with the thought of losing her and lost her anyway. I'm not that boy who panicked to take his best friend to the junior prom because he panicked yet again to lose his shit and sabotage the only person who knew how not to make him feel broken. I'm not that boy, V."

I blink, my breath hitching at his confession, loud. "Adri-"

I take a step closer to him. "Did you always have feelings for me?"

He strengthens and swallows hard as I take one more step.

"Why do you think no one from our high school approached you for a date?" he asks, voice a little sharp, but I don't miss the subtle smirk.

"You're an asshole, Adrian Hayes," I say, covering the rest of the distance between us and glaring at him. "Why did you let me believe I am the last girl you would choose?"

He leans down, dripping with icy water as he holds my face once again in his warm hands. "Because it scared me to lose the only girl who meant the world to me over my teenage feelings. I thought maybe it was just some hormonal disbalance. But damn, was I wrong?" He cups my jaw and runs the pad of his thumb over my cheekbone. We are both a crying mess. "I'm not angry with you, V. I love you so much that I want to be the one who deserves you. I want to be a worthy choice, a better man for you. And I'm sorry for not putting off my feelings when I should have."

"None of this is your fault, Adri," I say, clasping my hands around his neck and bringing our foreheads together. "This one's on me. And don't ever think you're not deserving. You deserve every goddamn piece of my heart." My voice fills with the scorching rays of the summer, burning me up tenfold. "Because you were the first boy who made my heart flutter, Adrian Hayes."

A long silent minute passes between us then he drops his forehead against my shoulder, breathing harshly. "I'm leaving for Minnesota tomorrow." He says, voice cracking as he releases a sigh.

I can hear a crack inside my chest, almost like rich china. But I'm not fragile. I'm a living, breathing human, and I need to heal, so does he. "Promise me you won't shut me off when you reach there." I brush our noses together. "Promise me you won't stop yourself from finding that dancing-on-air happiness."

He pulls away. "When I said - you're the only girl who can break my heart and still reign it. I meant it, V." He tugs me to his warm, familiar body, the one that feels like home and places a chaste kiss on my forehead. "We both need time to heal, my little sinner. And I hope you know that you're the only girl I ever loved, but I certainly don't expect to be the only boy in your life."

"God," I breathe out, our breaths mingling. "Make one last promise to me." I tighten my fist over the soft fabric of his shirt. "Maybe one day, when our hearts heal, and we've run past all our choices, we will find our way back to each other and fight for our story. And when you're ready, I'll be waiting."

"I promise, V," he smiles at me, both our eyes turning glassy. "I will never let you go."

"Me neither," I croak out, smiling, and not a second later, I feel his lips back on my forehead. His arms wrap around me for a long, calming embrace before he slips away from my touch while I watch him leave with sad but promise-filled green eyes.

I'm in love with you, Adrian. And no matter whether our broken hearts heal or not, I will still choose you.

***

Author's Note: This chapter broke me into a million pieces. Let me know in the comments your thoughts about this chapter. Also, don't forget to vote.

Do you think this is a fitting pause in their story?