COMPLETELY STRESSED, I CLAMP my phone between my ear and shoulder while I try to take a sip of my coffee. However, this turns out to be a big challenge, so that I spill half of it and now there is a huge brown spot on my white top embroidered with flowers. 

Monday starts really great.

Annoyed, I rub with my free hand over the brown spot, but the stain is distributed thereby only more. Actually, I wanted to make a good impression on my lecturers today, but that's gone now. As I look up with a sigh, I notice Kolin standing on the other side of the hallway, staring at my cleavage instead in my eyes.

My mother's voice coming through my phone doesn't make the whole situation much better. "I'm really glad you're settling in so well already, Syd, even though your college choice made me skeptical at first. But the most important thing is, that you like it, and you obviously do. At least, that's what your repeated sighs tell me." The sarcasm in her voice is impossible to miss.

I know that my parents would have rather wanted me to go to a college near them, but if I had followed their wish, I certainly wouldn't have been as happy as I am now. However, the fact that I want to study psychology is something they have always supported, so I prefer to tell them more about it. "I really like it here, Mom. The classes and professors are great, but I'm afraid I'm going to be late if we don't hang up now." 

I actually have plenty of time, but the coffee stain and Kolin still staring at me summon murderous thoughts in me. 

My mother ─ as I thought she would ─ has no intention of hanging up just yet. "Have you actually met anyone yet? A boy?"

Dean Walker.

It wasn't my intention to think of him of all people, but he is the only boy who came to my mind when my mother asked me that question. And who am I kidding here? I've been thinking about him almost continuously since last night, his words and his jump out of my window, which I must admit was pretty impressive ─. 

"Sydney? Are you still there? Wait, did you make up with Kolin again?"

"What? No!" Shaking my head, I brush the strands out of my face that has fallen out of my ponytail. 

She breathes in relief. "Well, I'm reassured then. Kolin was really boring."

True. 

"No, I haven't met anyone, and I'm certainly not going to get back together with Kolin. So please don't say something like that again." 

"Suit yourself, Syd, I called for a completely different reason anyway." She pauses and I actually get curious about what she has to tell me. "I heard about this incident at your college a few days ago. Is it true that a murderer is doing his thing at your college?"

I would have loved to say the following: "Well, the thing is, that I ran into Dean Walker two weeks ago and helped him escape. Then yesterday he knocked on my door and yes, I let him in and allowed him to stay for an hour because I'm a naive, dumb nut. Still, it turns out that the naive, stupid nut eventually figured out part of the truth, so she no longer thinks Dean Walker is a potential murderer. I could be wrong too, but I'm not, because what else is my gullibility for?"

I sound so stupid. 

Instead, I say, "He only showed up once at a college party. There haven't been any incidents since then, and you don't have to worry. I promise I'll keep an eye out." 

Ashamed, I lower my head a little. I really rarely lie to my mother, and this isn't even a little lie. I'm defending someone I barely know and who is a real mystery even to me. 

"I wish you would have told me this sooner, honey. I don't ever want to find out about something like this from a newspaper article again, you hear me? From now on, you call me whenever something happens." 

I have to smile a little. My mom can be incredibly temperamental and strict, but I still love her. "I miss you." 

"I miss you too, Syd. Why don't you come to visit us soon, your dad and I would really enjoy it. And I promise we won't say a word about your little .... weird college." 

I can't disagree with her, because it is weird. Bronwyn wanted to grill me about Dean last night and this morning, but I said I didn't want to talk about it until later - which made her understandably angry. My ex-boyfriend, Kolin, still hasn't moved an inch and obviously can't take his eyes off me, which really pisses me off. I look at him, grimace and wait for him to stop staring, but it doesn't work very well.

Instead, he just grins at me.

I quickly glance at my watch and realize that I really need to get to class. "Yeah, I'll come to visit soon, I promise. Can we talk later?" She says about three times goodbye to me, then I hang up and sprint off. I'm really running through the hallways because I only have two minutes left and I definitely don't want to be late, like Friday for example. 

As I run past Kolin, he holds me by the shoulders and smirks at me. "Where are you going so fast, Sydney-Britney?"

Away from you.

He comes dangerously close to my face, and if I'm not mistaken, he's grinning even more now. "I was wondering if you had any plans for tonight."

"I have to study," I reply curtly as I try to free myself from his grip. Failing. "Can you take your hands off me now?" 

Sighing, he does what I say and is visibly offended that I didn't take him up on his date suggestion. But what does he expect? That, after the last ten times he's already asked me out, I would now agree out of that blue sky? For me, we're definitely over, and I don't understand why he's still so hung up on our high school relationship. 

"What actually happened in your apartment yesterday?", Kolin suddenly asks me.

It seems it's time for small talk. I'm really bad at that. 

"What exactly do you mean?" I know exactly what he's talking about, but I need a few more seconds to come up with a believable lie, and I'm really bad at that, too. 

Kolin runs his hand through his blond curls several times in a row, which look the same afterward as they did before, then he says, "A lot of people have complained to you and Bronwyn about the noise, that's what I mean. Has anything happened?" He gets closer to me than he should, but in his eyes, I just read panic. "People are saying that Dean Walker has been back here along with the guys from the party. Is that true?" 

"What?", I shout with a laugh. "Dean Walker? In my apartment? That's really ridiculous, Kolin, I mean, what would he want at my apartment?" I'm definitely talking and laughing too loudly, and unfortunately, my ex-boyfriend knows me far too well to believe it. 

That's why I'm not surprised when he raises an eyebrow with a grin. "Are you lying to me, Sydney-Britney?"

"If you call me by that name one more time, I'm going to kick the smirk right off your face." 

"If I stopped calling you that, I'd also forget the time you were almost obsessed with Britney Spears."

I sigh, trying to erase the thought of that time from my mind forever and ever. And from Kolin's memory as well. "It was really nice talking to you, but I have to go now." 

"Was it also nice enough that we could do it again over dinner?"

He really can't drop it. "Well, it wasn't that nice, then." 

Suddenly the boyish grin disappears from his face and he holds me again by the arm. "I hope for you that you didn't lie to me a minute ago, because Walker is not to be trifled with, do you understand that? Just don't get into anything with him. Everyone who's done that so far has regretted it, anyway."

With that, he leaves me standing there, confused. 

What the hell was that? Kolin is someone you wouldn't guess to be nineteen, because with his blond curls, roundish, pale face, and small eyes, he just doesn't seem very old. He also always seems to be in a good mood, which adds to his permanent grin. But I've rarely seen him look the way he did just now, so there really must be more going on than I thought. A lot more. 

The uneasy feeling doesn't leave me as I look thoughtfully at the many students walking past me. A huge question mark dances around on my head when I finally pick myself up and walk to my class ─ I'm probably way too late ─. 

I stop just before it though and turn around one more time. It sounds damn strange, but I feel like someone is watching me, yet none of the people here are even looking at me. Shaking my head, I continue to look around until I conclude that I just imagined it. 

It must be the after-effects of my encounter with Dean Walker, I can't explain this in any other way. 

And yet I can't shake this feeling away that I'm being watched for the rest of the day.

-

Not a question but so you're telling me that I've been in a global pandemic for... a year? and the government hasn't had the AUDACITY to THROW me in a maze with a bunch of sexy men...