|ADULT CONTENT|

THE FIRST THING Dean does when we enter his flat is shower. I can't blame him, after all, it's been almost a week since his last shower. Besides, I get the feeling he needs the time to himself to be able to process everything that has happened in the last few days. 

And he's not the only one. 

I feel like I've gone through more since I've known Dean than I have in my entire nineteen years combined. But if it took all of that to spend that one night with him, I'd definitely say it was worth it. All of it. The countless times we had to run. Our argument. My interrogation. And the trial, which went better than I expected. 

Curious, I look around Dean's new flat. It's simple and a little smaller than Bronwyn's and mine, but he has it to himself. You're right in the living room when you come in, and it seems bigger than it actually is because of the high and wide windows. The kitchen is part of the living room and apart from that there is a bathroom, which Dean has just disappeared into, and a bedroom that has an amazingly large bed ... 

I squint my eyes and admonish myself not to think about such things now. 

I try to ignore the fact that the shower sounds are echoing extremely loudly in my ears at this moment. It feels like déjà vu when I think of the night Dean and I spent at Jeremy's place. It was our first and so far last night, but I plan to change that. Although I'm not sure if Dean would be okay with that. It may be that he wants his peace and I would totally understand that. 

Really. It would be fine. 

Sighing, I run my hand through my tangled curls. Who am I trying to fool, anyway? Of course, it would hurt me if he turned me down. 

The shower sounds fade away and for some reason, my body reacts as follows: I walk towards the bathroom, open the door, which to my surprise is unlocked, and the next moment I'm standing in the tiny little room with a half-naked Dean. He must have had a pretty hot shower because the steam has spread on the mirror and in the air. Dean is wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist, and my breath stops for a moment. I hadn't remembered exactly how good he is looking. 

Now, however, my memory is definitely refreshed. 

Dean suddenly laughs deeply. "Did you just come in here to stare at me?" 

I lean against the closed door to keep myself from fainting at the sight of him. "Sort of, yeah. Actually, I don't really know why I did that. Do you want me to go?" 

My real question is, do you feel pressured? 

Dean shakes his head seriously. "Don't go if you don't want to." 

"Do you want it?" 

"It doesn't matter what I want, Curly." He leans against the sink with his arms crossed, causing his arm and stomach muscles to take on a different shape. "Don't drool, Sydney." 

Laughing, I lean the back of my head against the door because my whole body literally feels like jello. "That's hard when you're so good-looking." 

If I'm not wrong, he smiles a little sheepishly.

And this sheepish smile is the trigger for my next crazy act: I am still wearing the light grey dress that Bronwyn made especially for me, but now I pull it over my head and throw it on the floor beside me. 

Dean's look is a mixture of surprise, delight, and desire, then he slowly shakes his head. "What are you doing, Sydney?" 

I'm wearing plain black underwear and yet it looks like his eyes are about to pop out of his head. Strangely, I don't feel the need to quickly cover my body again like I usually have. Instead, I would like to expose myself completely, but I don't want Dean to have a heart attack right away. 

"Don't do this because you think tonight might be our last chance, okay? We have plenty of time." Dean's gaze roams over my body once more, then he visibly grits his teeth, making his cheekbones stand out even more, and looks to the side. "Fuck, Sydney, if you don't really want to do this, I'd get dressed again if I were you." 

Shaking my head, I sweep my curls over my shoulders. "Trust me, I don't want to get dressed. And I'm not doing this because I think we're out of time. I'm doing this because I really, really want to. I've wanted it for way too long." 

"No longer than I did." 

The corners of my mouth lift happily. "We could discuss that now. Or we could do completely different things that have absolutely nothing to do with talking." 

Is that really me saying that right now? I feel like a changed person, but at the same time like myself. Does this make any sense? Maybe I should just switch off all thought and finally give free rein to my feelings. Because it's true. I want Dean so badly that it hurts in certain places I thought were dead. 

Dean runs his hand through his wet hair, swallowing, then grins, shaking his head. I don't think he can quite believe we're really here yet either. In his bathroom. Half-naked. And so close to jumping on each other that the steamy air in the room is electrified. 

"You do realize this isn't over, don't you?" He demonstratively shows me the tape on his foot. "I could disappear again at any moment. So if you don't put that dress back on now, there's a good chance you won't have anything on for tonight." 

A laugh escapes me. "Is that a threat?" 

"The best threat out there, don't you think?" He takes a step towards me. Then another. Finally, he stands so close to me that our toes almost touch. "You haven't been drinking tonight, right?" 

"You know I don't drink," I reply with a frown.

"I just want to make sure you're in your right mind. That you know there's pretty much a million things wrong with me." 

"And yet I fell in love with you." 

For two or three seconds Dean stares at me in surprise, then I see no hesitation in his eyes. He looks determined as he slides a hand into my thick hair, pulling me towards him and pressing his lips hard on mine. 

Finally. 

Dean kisses me intensely, but not stormily. We explore each other's mouths because last time the crowd at the party and the police sirens stopped us. That is no longer the case. No one is going to storm into this bathroom, I'm pretty sure of that. 

I feel the beads of water from the shower on my palms as I place them on Dean's chest. Then I move to his neck, whereupon he presses me so close to him that my breasts are pressed against him. Still, it's not enough. I wrap a leg around him, which he takes as an invitation to lift me up and press me against the bathroom door. I gasp because all ability to think has become impossible, but I can't complain. Dean is touching me everywhere and exactly as I want him to. I feel like I'm going to drown in my desire if he doesn't finally satisfy it. 

As if he's read my mind, he opens the door as he continues to kiss me so deeply and intimately that I can't breathe. Where did he learn to kiss like that? I push the answer to that aside as he carries me into his bedroom. 

"Do you think the bed is freshly made?" I gasp before he can set me down. 

His hands run over the clasp of my bra, but he doesn't undo it. "Does it matter?" 

"That's so typical of you. Someone could have thrown up in this bed too and you still wouldn't care right now."

Dean lets out a loud genuine laugh that makes my heart melt. "The bed looks made and neat. Do I finally have permission to fall in there with you?" 

"Wait, what?" I ask at the same moment as Dean actually lets himself fall backward, whereupon I land on his chest. Laughing, I press my lips on his. "You're so stupid." 

He brushes a curl behind my ear and kisses me as well. "And yet you love me." 

"True." I would have thought it would hurt me if Dean didn't return the words, but I can understand it. He's been betrayed by so many people he loves: his mom, his dad, Gavin, Hunter, and Xander. It's okay for me if he needs time to say the words, because deep down I know he thought them long ago. He just doesn't have the heart to say them yet. 

As I kiss him, smiling, he turns us so that he is above me and I am amazed to find his towel still on his hip. Why is it still there anyway? In one short painless movement, I untie the slight knot and toss the towel aside.

Dean buries his face in my neck with a laugh. "So ravenous, yeah?" 

I stare at his body meanwhile ─ his whole body ─ and my breath catches in certain places. He's the most beautiful man I've ever seen, even if there haven't been many, and I'm so grateful to be able to experience this moment. 

"No one has ever looked at me the way you do," he whispers suddenly.

I swallow hard. "I doubt it." 

"It's true, though." Very slowly, he kisses his way down my cleavage to my stomach, finally pausing in front of my black thin pants. "I didn't mean that threat earlier, you know. We can stop anytime." 

Smiling, I prop myself up on my forearms. "If you suggest that again now, I'll bite you." 

"And I would have absolutely nothing against it," he counters with a smug smile as he agonizingly slides my pants down my legs. I'm not completely naked ─ not yet ─ but still my heart pounds like crazy as he looks at me. He strokes my inner thighs with his rough palms and something in my abdomen tightens painfully. 

I gasp as he presses his mouth to where my nerves bundle are. His tongue penetrates me and a previously unknown sound escapes my throat. I've never felt so floaty and light while being intimate with someone, which makes this moment even more special. The realization that I trust Dean so much makes me not feel ashamed of anything in front of him. I know he loves me for my somewhat difficult character, for my less than perfect body, and for my uninhibited sounds when I finally come shaking. 

His gaze is loving and warm as his face is in front of mine again. I feel like I'll never be able to move my legs again, but at least I still have my hands, which I place on his shoulders. "There could be a million things wrong with you," I whisper, returning to his words from earlier, "and yet I wouldn't change my mind about you, Dean."

I kiss his dimples and then devote myself again to those heavenly lips that can do incredible things. I mean to taste myself, which makes me all the more ravenous. I kiss him because it's the most beautiful feeling I know, and not because I think we don't have enough time for it anymore. On the contrary, I take an extremely long time to explore his mouth, his neck, and his shoulders. Because we have time. We will have time for this for the rest of our lives. 

Dean suddenly grabs my thighs and pulls me onto his lap, eliciting a yip from me. I rub against him ever so slightly, just to provoke him, and it actually works. It drives him insane. At some point, he slips the bra straps over my shoulders, swallowing, and then opens the clasp, which pops open with a snap. 

I hold my breath and wait because I really am completely naked now. Just like him.  Dean's dark eyes light up a little bit as he looks at me. "God, you are beautiful." 

I actually feel pretty and have for a while now. For weeks, to be exact. Smiling, I kiss him again and drop onto my back with Dean on top of me. Carefully, I touch his hardening which makes him curse. 

"I ..." He falters a little bit. "Well ... it's been a while for me." 

"I think you and I have different definitions of 'a while ago'," I reply with a smile. It still surprises me how comfortable I feel right now. And how fucking turned on. 

"You and Kolin had ...?" 

I really wish I could deny it, but that would be a lie and I've always been honest with Dean. I was seventeen the first and last time it happened and I also only did it to somehow try and ignite the passion between Kolin and me. It didn't work, as you can tell by the fact that I've never slept with anyone since. 

Gently, I stroke Dean's cheekbones. "That's a real turn-off now, sorry." I kiss him softly on his soft lips. "It's been ages. Two years, to be exact. So it might hurt a little bit for me." 

Dean kisses me as well, then gently bites my bottom lip. "It's not two years for me, but it's still long enough to know that I probably might not impress you." 

Laughing, I cuddle up to him. "Are you kidding? After Kolin, I think anyone will be able to impress me. And you most of all." 

He laughs softly too but then stops. Dean reaches out and rummages around the drawers of the small bedside table. "There are actually condoms in here." 

"See? Even the guy who decorated the room wants us to finally have sex." 

Laughing softly, Dean rips open the plastic wrapper and pulls out the condom. Watching him slip it on ... it's beyond my imagination how hot someone can be. In fact, I'm so impatient that I practically jump on him as soon as he's done and then pull him back down to me. He is at least as ravenous as I am because there is almost no part of my body that he doesn't touch. When I suddenly feel his tip all my nerves bundle up at that spot. I lift my hips slightly, whereupon Dean pushes a little bit deeper inside me. 

"Are you ... are you okay?", Dean barely manages to get out. 

I nod. "It hurts a little bit, but I'm okay," I reply, my breath hitching. When he doesn't move, I lift my hips impatiently again. "Dean, come on now." 

"Don't hurry me like that," he counters, but complies with my request and pushes himself a little deeper inside me. "You're ... you're really tight." 

I gasp. "But not fragile."

At the word 'fragile' Dean throws off all inhibitions. He is suddenly so deep inside me that I cry out and dig my nails into his back. The muscles there move noticeably as he thrusts into me again and this time I meet him. 

Dean and I are in perfect harmony. He is hard in places where I am soft. We move in unison, getting faster and faster together while neither of us can tear our eyes from the other. Dean pulls me under his spell, again and again, and it is so fucking easy for him. There is nothing I would change about him, nothing I couldn't love about him. He is everything I am and cannot be. At that moment we are one, but on a whole new level and when we both finally come, I fall in love with him all over again. 

He rests his head on my cleavage, panting, while I close my eyes, breathing heavily. This moment is anything but unpleasant. It's perfect, just like every other moment I get to spend with Dean. When he finally lifts his head languidly and brushes a curl from my sweaty forehead, he smiles happily. "Thank you," he whispers so softly that I can barely hear it. 

"What are you thanking me for?", I reply.

"For everything." 

If that's his way of saying "I love you," then I'll take it. More than that, I welcome it. Smiling, I kiss him, again and again, that night. We literally can't keep our hands off each other. Several times he brings me to the point where I almost screamed my head off ─ in a good way, of course. I've never felt so much as I have in these hours, so full. 

I am officially the happiest girl in this world.

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Damn...

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