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IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS since I was interrogated. Since I saw Dean for the last time. 

Since I kissed him. 

The last three days have been even worse than the one after our fight. Because I'm not suffering from heartbreak this time, I'm suffering from what I call the Dean-deficit. It's so bad, in fact, that I don't even have an appetite for chocolate. 

Lost in thought, I stare out of the window and let my eyes wander over the street in front of the apartment.

This is the window Dean jumped out of when he escaped from Kolin, Xander, and Hunter the night he banged on my door. Just thinking about him jumping out of that window makes me uncomfortable. It's about twice as high as Dean's room in Tennessee. 

It must have hurt to jump down here. And yet he did it. 

Dean literally flew for his freedom and that realization puts at least a small smile on my lips. The last few days have been hell. I feel tired and drained because I've spent every single second thinking about Dean. Where he is right now and what he is doing. Candice has been kind enough to let me know that her mom, as his lawyer, is already working on his case and the date for the trial is set. 

The date is in two days. That's another forty-eight-hour I can spend with thoughts leading nowhere. 

"Syd?" 

I slowly turn to Bronwyn and am amazed. She's very dressed up for her 'friendly study session' with Peter and looks even more beautiful than usual. Her brown hair falls down her back in considerable waves, her caramel-colored face is free of makeup except for red lipstick, and she's wearing really skimpy clothes for the fact that it's the middle of March. The light pink lace top is tucked into her light blue skinny jeans, which are a little looser fitting and have been belted with a wide belt. Only Bronwyn could wear an outfit like that and look incredible in it. 

She grins at me. "Do I look good or do I look good?" 

"You look so good, in fact, that Peter won't keep his eyes to himself. Are you sure that this is just friendship between you?" 

"We're just studying, and besides, you'll be there. While I'm glad you're not skipping your classes this time because of Dean, I still don't see you with your thick psychology book in your hands at all." 

"I'm not going, Bron."

Sighing, she slowly walks towards me and places both hands on my shoulders. "I don't want to force you to do anything either, of course, but I would have been really happy if you had joined me. And Peter, too." 

"Yeah, I'm sure you would," I counter with a grin. 

She merely rolls her eyes. "I'm serious though. Besides, Peter and I are really just friends. For now, anyway. I don't want to rush into anything with him like I usually do." 

"So he's special to you?" 

"Very special." 

"Then go and meet him alone. I'll be fine, really," I assure her, "I ... I'm meeting Hunter because I just can't figure out what's so special about this camera. Don't look at me like that, Bron, I have to. Dean suggested it himself." 

She snorts. "Hunter's going to snatch that camera right from under your nose and give it to Kolin. I don't trust him." 

I'm not sure if I trust him either. Yes, he's helped Dean and me twice, but I'm still going to be careful. I almost wish I could see his side of things because that would be very helpful in terms of my distrust of him. But I guess I will just have to take my chances and meet him. 

He has actually been the one who contacted me first. I was walking to my lecture two days ago, unsuspecting and hanging my head, when all of a sudden he grabbed my forearm and pulled me into an empty classroom. I remember his frantic look and the uncontrolled movements he kept making. You could tell he was uncomfortable. 

"What do you want?" was the only thing I said.

Hunter rubbed the back of his neck uncertainly. "I assume you have the camera?" 

I nodded. 

"What about the video? Did you watch it?" 

"There's no video, Hunter. I must have taken the whole camera to pieces over twenty times and found nothing. Is this some sick game of yours? Is Kolin trying to get you to stall me with this?" 

He shook his head vigorously. "I'm only on his side because I want to find out who did this to my sister. How can that even surprise you anymore? I've helped Dean and you twice ─" 

"Except, unfortunately, it didn't lead to anything," I hissed. In hindsight, I really should have been a little nicer to him, but I was terribly irritable and dead sad that day because Dean left. 

He seemed to have noticed and raised his hands placatingly. "I know this is definitely not easy for you right now. Losing people always sucks, but you can't hang your head right now. We need that video. It shows what happened in the room where Hollyn and Xander were." 

Astonished, I looked at him. "How do you know that?" 

"I'm not the only one who knows. If you don't believe me, feel free to ask Peter."

I did, and Peter really knew a whole lot of things that no one had ever told me about before. Not even Dean. The fact that he and Hollyn had kissed at that party didn't even hurt that much. I know he didn't have feelings for her then, it never sounded that way to me anyway. And I know he would have mentioned it if it had mattered. Rather, I'm disappointed that he didn't tell us Gavin's call to Hollyn and the part about the camera.

I brush the anger and sadness aside and focus on what's important. Hunter would be here in half an hour, and Bronwyn looks at me like she'd love to stuff me in her little backpack and drag me with her to Peter's. 

It's just not going to happen. "Go already," I say with a smile as I practically push her out of the apartment. "I'm fine. I'll be fine. And Dean will be back here soon, so we can plan cheesy double dates for the four of us."

"You're into double dates?" she asks with a laugh as she puts her jacket on. " If I knew that, I would have dragged you on a few by now." 

I feel queasy just thinking about going out with a guy who isn't Dean. "Have fun with Peter." 

"And you have fun with Hunter." The sarcastic undertone in her voice doesn't escape me, but then she forces a smile, hugs me, and leaves. 

Fun with Hunter? 

I'd rather rip out every eyelash one by one. He's still the one who beat the crap out of Dean not so long ago. The scar that's left of it matches Dean's face perfectly, but it's still superfluous. I remember gently running my index finger over the spot above his left eyebrow. That was the night we spent the night at Jeremy's house. I want nothing more right now than to turn the time back and find myself back in that guest room with Dean. 

I don't bother to make myself pretty for Hunter. I'm wearing sweatpants and a long fleece shirt with a sad emoji on it, which fits my mood perfectly. My hair is knotted and tied into a long ponytail that resembles a bird's nest. I spend the time until Hunter arrives loafing around, twiddling my thumbs, and thinking. When the knock finally comes, my heart hammers unfamiliar in my chest. 

Is it so reprehensible that I'm a little bit nervous? After all, I have no idea what Hunter is up to or which side he's really on. 

He looks at least as taken as I do. His brown hair reaches down over his ears and sticks out in a tangled mess in all directions, his eyes are adorned with dark circles, and he's wearing washed-out jeans and a T-shirt that reaches almost to his knees. 

I'm quite glad that I'm not the only one who didn't make an effort for this. 

He takes his hands off the doorframe and puts them in his jeans pockets right after. "Hey." 

I just nod and let him in. While I get the video camera, I try to tell myself that Hunter is only here for this video. I shouldn't care why he's helping me or how he's dealing with Hollyn's death or what he thinks of Kolin, Xander, and Gavin. 

And yet I am very interested. Hunter makes it seem like he's pretty lonely, and somehow I want to take that loneliness away from him. I don't think he and Dean can ever be best friends again, but I'm sure they're capable of forgiving each other. 

"Before I give you this," I hold the camera up, "I need to know how trustworthy you are. How do I know you won't take it from me and bring it to Kolin?"

Hunter still has his hands buried in his pockets and stands reverently in the middle of the living room. Then he shrugs once. "I guess you'll have to trust me. What would I gain by bringing it to Kolin?" 

"I don't know." Sullenly, I move a little closer to him. "I know absolutely nothing about you." 

"Do I have to fill out a profile before you put Dean's camera in my hands?" 

I shake my head, half laughing, half confused. "No, thanks. I only have a question. Well, two questions, actually." 

"Shoot," he prompts me. 

"Actually, there are three questions." Come to think of it, it's probably closer to a hundred. "What was that about when you asked Bronwyn out and then blew it?" Strictly speaking, this question isn't really important, but I just feel like I owe it to Bronwyn. 

Hunter clears his throat with a laugh. "Kolin knew at the time that you'd already had contact with Dean and wanted to find out more. He said you weren't really cooperative when he questioned you and told me to try Bronwyn." 

"Who also wasn't very cooperative," I conclude. "Okay, what's this all about anyway? Kolin and Xander think you're on their side, even though they may be to blame for Hollyn's death? How could you convince them that you're not fooling them?" 

"I don't know if you noticed, but Kolin and Xander aren't really the brightest candles on the cake. Only Gavin doesn't completely trust me, but in the end, that doesn't matter. He doesn't have much to say anyway." 

"Tell me more about Gavin. I just can't figure him out." 

Hunter proves to be very talkative, which I don't have a problem with at all. He tells me about how Dean and Gavin met and, more importantly, why they met. It has also been Kolin's plan to have Gavin as his little spy with Dean to be able to control the situation all around. 

When I ask Hunter what Kolin has specifically against Dean, he wasn't sure either. All he knows is that the two grew up together and something must have happened that just won't let Kolin go. He literally hates Dean and is obsessed with the idea of him spending his life in prison. 

It makes me sick because I have been with this person for over a year without knowing what a sick jerk Kolin actually is. Has he been able to hide from me so well all these years? Or did I just never really know him? He never said a word about Dean, which is pretty suspicious in retrospect. You do mention people who are a big part of your life, right? 

Unless you hate that person.

I stare at the camera and suddenly get a glimpse of light. Surprised, I look up and look at Hunter with wide eyes. "You brought her back to Tennessee." 

He looks from the camera to me in turn. "Not exactly. Dean's parents took the camera itself back, not without searching it thoroughly first, of course. I didn't have enough time to look at the video because there was still my sister's body in the same room if you remember. After I realized Dean had absolutely nothing to do with Hollyn's death, I took this." He holds up some kind of small chip not bigger than an eraser. 

"Why didn't you give this to the police if you knew what was on it?" 

"The camera Dean got from his grandpa is ancient. That kind of chip doesn't fit in any kind of camera, so all I could do was keep it. Besides, by then I had already gone to Kolin, Xander, and Gavin, who was watching every move I made. A road trip to Tennessee wouldn't have been that easy." 

Shaking my head, I cross my arms in front of my chest. "You should have talked to me a lot sooner, instead of staring me to death every time I was on campus." 

"What was I supposed to say? 'Hey, why don't you drive over to Tennessee for me and bring me Dean's camera so I can put this chip in there?" 

"Don't ridicule this one now, Hunter. I'm sorry if I'm the one telling you this, but you've definitely made the wrong choices since Hollyn died." 

"Haven't we all?" His gaze is searching like he's dying to pry the answer out of me. "Dean ran from the police for no reason, even though he didn't do anything wrong. You've been seeing him for months, even though legally that's not the smartest thing to do. Bronwyn helps where she can because she's your friend and has taken Dean into her heart, and Peter does what he always does. He's trying to fix things that just can't be fixed." 

"What are you talking about?", I ask with a pounding heart. 

Hunter realizes he's talked a little too much and squints his eyes for a moment. "You don't really think Dean's going to be released so soon, do you? I know Candice's mom is his lawyer." 

"And we have the video, which we should probably just watch," I add. 

"That alone won't be enough. Too much has happened for that." 

I don't want Hunter to be right, so I just tune out his words and instead reach out for him to hand me the chip. He eyes me for a few more seconds, then sighs and places it in my palm. 

I know this camera inside and out by now, and I know exactly which opening this chip goes into. Tensely, Hunter and I bend over the display while the loading symbol remains for what feels like an eternity. Then suddenly the camera comes to life and the video starts playing.

At first, there is nothing. Just a black screen and a noise that sounds like hissing. 

Then we see a room. I assume it's the bedroom where Xander dragged Hollyn into. My heart is pounding so hard against my ribs that I put a hand on it and force myself to take a deep breath. I can't even imagine how Hunter must be feeling at this moment, because now Hollyn appears ─ at least I assume that's Hollyn ─ and the first thing I notice is her beauty. She looks like Hunter, only more feminine. Her hair is long, straight, and dark, she has curves in all the right places and her face is delicate and kind. 

"What are you doing, Xan?" The words tumble over in Hollyn's mouth, probably the fault of the alcohol. 

Hunter's breathing next to me is shallow. 

"Relax, okay? I'm just trying to film us." Xander moves to the bed beside her and makes a move to put his hands on her waist. 

She pushes him away. "What do you want to film? Nothing is ever going to happen between us, do you hear me? I'm not a one-night stand kind of girl, and you know it." 

"Then let's not make it just one night." The quality isn't the best, and yet I recognize a strange twinkle in Xander's green eyes. It's eerie, the way he looks at her. Like a ... Piece of meat and not a human being. I can't imagine how Hollyn must have felt. 

Snorting, she takes a few steps back and wraps her arms around her narrow shoulders. "I like you, okay? A lot, actually. Because you're my friend who's maybe a little pushy, but still always there for me. Please don't make more of that than there is." 

Xander gets angry. "So it's okay to stick your tongue down Dean's throat, but not in mine?" 

"It was just a kiss. I have no feelings for Dean," she clarifies. The fear in her voice is palpable. 

"You're all the same," Xander mutters under his breath. 

"What?" whispers Hollyn. 

"YOU'RE ALL DAMN BITCHES!" he yells so loudly that the sound becomes distorted. 

Hollyn gives a sort of startled squeal as she heads for the bedroom door. She looks panicked, and part of her seems to know that this thing with Xander isn't going to end well. She knows it, but she can't get away, because he expertly blocks her path to the door. 

His face is red. "COME THE FUCK HERE AND DON'T RUN AWAY!"

I can't look at that. I just can't. Although I should owe it to Hollyn to look because after all, she had to experience it. She didn't have a choice as I did. She couldn't just hand the camera to Hunter, sit on the couch and take a few deep breaths while the tears just ran down her cheeks. 

The worst part is that I still hear it all. Hollyn is screaming and hitting around and yet no one hears her because the party music was probably too loud for that. Xander is screaming too, but after a while, I don't hear any shouting, punching, or kicking. All I hear is gasping, moaning, and groaning coming from Xander. I suffer inside with Hollyn and any other woman who has to go through this while concentrating on my breathing so I don't throw up on the carpet here and now. 

I can't look at Hunter, even though he doesn't make a sound. He is still standing in the middle of the living room, holding the video camera that I will never touch again. 

Dean has already told me about all this. I've known what happened to Hollyn since we first met, and even when Xander tried to touch me, I've been pretty sure. But hearing it with my own ears makes it even more real. 

Suddenly, it's completely silent. I assume that the video is over, but I'm pretty sure Hollyn was still alive when Xander was done with her. I could still hear her crying. And I heard a slammed door, which Xander must have walked through.

The fact that Xander didn't kill her doesn't make him a saint. Because I'm sure part of Hollyn was already dead from what he did. 

Suddenly, I hear a sniffle that doesn't come from the video camera. 

Hunter's shoulders shake uncontrollably and he gives the impression that he is about to collapse. I don't hesitate, stand up and put my arms around him from behind, just to show him that he is not alone. That I can take some of the sadness away from him. And that I'm sorry for what Hollyn had to go through. 

Hollyn and Hunter McRae both deserve better than what life has given them.

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