"DEAN? I have to go to the bathroom."

Sydney looks like she's about to pee in Bronwyn's car if I don't stop immediately, which almost made me laugh. But only almost. I can just barely hold it in and stop at the next gas station just two minutes later. Sydney jumps out of the car and I take the risk to get some food and drink in the meantime. At first, I don't know what Sydney likes, but then I see the huge assortment of chocolate and have to grin.

I remember eating yogurt chocolate the first time we met and grab a chocolate bar. Then I grab two more water bottles, and a bag of chips, and walk with them to the checkout.

Just the look on the woman's face behind the counter says something like, "Healthy looks different," but I don't pay attention to it. Actually, I try to look at her as little as possible while I put some money down, take the things, and disappear again.

Sydney is already in the car and the first thing she does when I get in is punch me on my arm. "Are you out of your mind? They have video cameras in gas stations, Dean."

"Outside, too," I reply.

She shakes her head. "Don't do that again, okay? What if someone would have recognized you?"

She was really worried about me.

I don't like it when she looks that sad, because somehow I automatically feel sad, too. So I show her the yogurt chocolate, whereupon she looks a little happier. But that's not enough for me. I look her firmly in the eyes while I rip the package in half, break a piece off the chocolate and hold it in front of her mouth.

Sydney wants to grab it, but I immediately pull it back. "Open your mouth, Curly."

At that, her mouth pops open in disbelief, but I take that the same way. I shove the piece into her mouth, almost envious of the chocolate. Her grin that follows, however, immediately makes the jealousy in me disappear again.

She was grinning at me, not at the chocolate.

And I'm such a pathetic idiot in love.

"Do you want to drive or should I?", Sydney asks me.

"Do you have a driver's license?"

She nods.

"But not a car?"

Again, she nods.

At that, I can't help but smile, because it's always good to know which wish I'm going to grant Sydney first, once I get my life together again. The list isn't particularly long yet, but I've already mentally noted a few things.

For the next two hours, I let Sydney drive. I firmly resolve not to distract her too much and end up finding that she rather distracts me without doing much. Whenever she turns her head to me and her lips form into a heart-shaped smile, I'm blown away. Our windows are open a bit so her tangled blonde curls are waving around her head. She's just breathtakingly beautiful, and there's really nothing I'd rather do right now than sit in Bronwyn's car with her and listen to her talk and laugh.

I don't know how long I'll be able to endure this no kissing rule, which stupidly enough is also from me. Besides, I'm not sure it will even stop at just kissing if I do it.

Suddenly, Sydney turns the music down, tucks a lock behind her ear, and then looks at me briefly. "We'll be there in about twenty minutes, I think. On which street do you live?"

"Clark Street."

She presses her lips together, shaking her head.

"What's with the expression, Curly?", I ask, confused.

Sighing, she turns the radio completely off.

"I only live three blocks away, Dean, and not even two miles from you. How is it that we've never met?"

"We went to different schools." I try to argue logically, even though there really isn't much logic in this case. "Besides, we might have met at some point ─ we just don't remember it."

"You think we've met before when we were kids? Where?" she asks incredulously.

"Maybe at a playground." I have to grin at the thought.

She gives a short laugh. "I would remember you."

"I would remember you, too," I return honestly. "I think you would have liked me when I was fourteen or fifteen. I was pretty harmless and shy, unlike other boys that age."

As we stand at a traffic light, she turns her head to me a bit longer, eyeing me thoughtfully. I can't tell exactly what she's thinking about, in fact, I wish I could read her mind, like many other times.

The light turns green and Sydney's gaze is still on me.

Grinning, I nod at the road. "You really should concentrate more, Curly." Her cheeks turn red, but I have to push another one. "Did you undress your driving instructor at the time with eyes, too?"

She's convulsively trying to hold a laugh back, looking so damn cute that I'm pretty sure her driving instructor at the time undressed her with eyes.

Of course, I don't say that out loud.

While Sydney's flushed cheeks still won't go away ─ which I'm definitely not complaining about ─ I show her the best place to park Bronwyn's car. My parents don't know her car, but I want to be safe and not park directly in their driveway. Besides, I'm not sure how we're going to get into the house. There's no way Mom and Dad are allowed to see me, so I'd honestly prefer if they weren't home at all.

That's exactly what I tell Sydney, whereupon a startled sound escapes her. "Wait a minute ─ are you trying to break into your parents' house?"

"Actually, I'm not breaking into anywhere ... After all, I lived there for nineteen years."

"It's still breaking in."

"In fact, I'm pretty sure my parents haven't cleaned out my room yet. When I climb through the window, I just look around a bit, the best I can do is find my grandpa's camera right away, and then I'm gone."

"I'm not advocating this break-in, just to let you know," Sydney murmurs anxiously.

I am personally not keen on climbing into my bedroom window either, especially since I prefer jumping out of windows. Seeing my old home is not at the top of my priority list, but if Kolin and the others really want that camera, then there must be something important there. Something they want to have. Optimally, something that can help me.

"Oh man, I'm not going to be able to change your mind," Sydney murmurs with even more concern. "You have that look on your face ... that crazy look on your face."

To be safe, I look in the car mirror, but my face looks the same as always.

"That's the look you always get when you're about to do something totally insane," Sydney continues. "Like when you jumped out my window. Or when you had to escape the dorm with Gavin." She sighs again, parks the car, turns off the engine, and pulls the key out of the ignition. "Whatever you're going to do now ... you're not doing it without me."

For a second the thought occurs in my mind that I should protest vehemently, but then I remember that I made a promise. I won't shut her out again. And breaking into Casa de Avens is really not the most dangerous or worst thing I've ever done.

I want her with me.

As we get out at the same time, Sydney suddenly pulls her sweater over her head and my gaze lingers automatically on her cleavage. She is now wearing only a pair of tight, light blue jeans and a white top that accentuates certain areas. I close my eyes briefly to prevent thoughts from creeping into my head right away that are absolutely not PG. Although ... actually, they're way beyond PG.

"Dean?" I hear Sydney laugh for a second. "Are you falling asleep while standing there?"

I must have closed my eyes for a pretty long time because when I open them now, she's standing right in front of me with a confused look on her face. She's way too close. And in my pants, there's suddenly way too much stirring.

Not good.

"Is everything okay?" She's got me figured out because a triumphant grin spreads across her gum-rosy lips as she gets even closer to me. When she puts her hands on the back of my neck, I get goosebumps, and when she almost puts her lips on me, I'm really close to kissing her in the middle of Clark Street in Tennessee, even though we have more important things to do.

Although ... are those things really more important than Sydney?

Now she's stroking my chin with her soft lips, looking me firmly in the eye. She's really challenging me right here, right now. I wish I could say that there's more than enough of my strength of will left, but I would be lying to myself if I did. There's nothing left of willpower at all.

But where did it go? To Sydney? No, she's even less in control, because her lips now move to my neck, which makes me swallow hard. Maybe the willpower is still in New Haven and I wouldn't get it back until I got back there. In the end, it's with Kolin and he really didn't deserve it at all.

"What are you thinking about?" asks Sydney, amused.

About my willpower?

"Um ... not that important," I barely manage to get out.

She raises her head in confusion and suddenly I realize one thing. If I was thinking about my willpower just a moment ago, now everything in me is fixated on Sydney. On her bright blue eyes, her beautiful lips, her small straight nose, and her almost cute facial expression. She always manages to be cute and hot. At the same time.

"I'm thinking about you," I reply this time more composed and, above all, more honest. "But I think you already know that." Then I brush my lips down on her cheek to her ear, whereupon she gasps softly. I have to smile.

Now you know how I just felt, Curly.

I'm still smiling as I walk away from Sydney and towards my parents' house. Judging by her look, she doesn't quite know what to think about the huge building, but there are already two of us. This house ... I have so many bad memories of it that I just don't like it anymore. It's completely painted white, only the windows and the door are dark brown. The roof is flat except for the small chimney and the small front yard looks unkempt and dull.

Without even thinking about it, I reach for Sydney's hand and pull her to the side. Dad's car isn't in the driveway, so I'm just going to assume that he and Mom aren't home. They never are in the afternoon.

"You're going to climb up there?" whispers Sydney as she spies my window, which I look up at. "What are you waiting for, anyway? For Rapunzel to let her hair fall down so you can pull yourself upon it? Because that's pretty high up and I doubt you'll be able to climb into your room without help." She presses her lips together to stop herself from talking more.

I grin. "I like the Rapunzel comparison, but I don't need her to get up there."

Sydney isn't entirely convinced, so I look for Dad's ladder, which is really only a few feet from my window. I had no idea that it was still there. Dad knew I snuck in and out often, so he left it in the backyard without telling Mom. In fact, I don't think she knows about it even today.

I place the ladder in front of the window and climb up the next moment. It doesn't quite reach the window sill ─ it never has ─ so I have to pull myself up the rest of the way.

My window is pretty old and that's putting it mildly. I pray that my parents haven't replaced it as I press against it with my forearm and indeed it opens immediately with a soft squeak.

I land almost silently on my feet and immediately turn back to Sydney without looking around my room. I know what it looks like anyway. White walls, white bed, white dresser ─ only Mom's decorations she insisted on, the few posters I put up when I was fifteen are not white.

"Are you sure the ladder won't tip backward?"

I smile at Sydney from above. "I'm sure of it, actually. And if it does, I'll hold it from above." To demonstrate, I place my hands over the window sill on the outside of the ladder and look at her, waiting.

She sighs and climbs up. I'm sure it took a lot of effort on her part, and I'm almost proud when she reaches me and lets me pull her up. Once again I am struck by how light she is. I already noticed it at the spot in the woods when we were watching the sunset, but now it's kind of different because this time I reach under her armpits with my hands. She immediately wraps her legs around my torso and laughs right after when she sees my startled expression.

She climbs off me and I hope she doesn't notice the bulge in my pants, although it's not the first time my body has reacted to her like this. Since she's already not making any comment about it, I assume she's too busy looking around my room.

"So, what do you say?"

She looks at me. "I don't know ... I don't think it really suits you."

"I'm surprised you notice it," I return with a smile as I walk toward my dresser. The bottom drawer is filled with boxers and socks, which is why neither Mom nor Dad actually opens it. Mostly though.

I rummage around in it and actually find the box with the video camera Grandpa gave me. He and I have always been very close, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to know about me anymore either. When everyone turns their back on you, even those you least expect it from, it's the worst feeling in the world. Not only are you completely on your own, but you're also deeply disappointed in the people you would have trusted with everything.

"Dean?" Sydney's hand is on my shoulder. The touch is gentle and hesitant. "What's wrong? Talk to me."

I'm not very good at talking. But I'm going to try. "I'm thinking about my family. I got this camera from my grandpa, who I haven't heard from since I ran away. I don't even know if he's still alive. If he is ... then I'm pretty sure he hates me."

"He just believes what everyone else says," she counters, shaking her head. "Kind of like how I was in the beginning, remember? The majority of people always have the advantage when it comes to single perspectives. That's psychologically proven."

I smile slightly. "People like to judge first before they look correct. Just like my dad. And my mom. And Gavin."

Now her hand strokes my back in soothing motions. "Everything will be okay soon. No one will judge you when the truth comes out. And who knows, maybe the truth is hidden in that camera."

Frowning, I survey her as I suddenly hear the front door downstairs slam into the lock. Then footsteps follow. And voices.

Alarmed, I look at Sydney, who forms the word 'shit' with her lips.

The voices grow louder and more familiar, and I feel nauseous as I realize who has entered the house.

"My parents are here."

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