FREAKING OUT, I walk up and down the living room for several minutes until I finally drop down on the sofa and take a deep breath.

The fact that I'm worried about Dean is a sign that he has already sneaked his way somewhat into my heart during this short time, in some weird way, and that's bad. Wrong. Basically just completely stupid and naive from me.

Besides, he definitely wouldn't be coming to me if he wasn't a potential criminal on a run, but rather looking for some girl who was in his league.

And there they are again, my old familiar complexes. Whenever I look at Dean, the thought, that he must have jumped out of some fashion magazine, rolls over me. The fact that he calls me Curly, because having pretty damn knotted curls all the time, doesn't really make me brim with self-confidence around him ─ or at all ─ either.

Plus, he's cocky, or maybe he's just pretending. People often cover up their problems with arrogance or changing the subject a lot, and both of these things apply to Dean. I feel like he's trying to hide how bad he actually feels during this difficult time, but that won't make him feel much better.

Eventually, it will make things worse, and I know that from my own experience.

"Sydney, I know that look on your face and you're thinking too much." Bronwyn plops down next to me on the sofa and gives me an assessing look. "You'd better tell me what's going on in your head. That's what the psychologists say, right? No, they have other phrases, like You can tell me anything you want or Nothing you say leaves this room. If you expect your patients to open up to you at some point, you have to be able to do that too."

But I can't.

Sighing, I blow a lock of hair from my face and then pull my knees up. "I just wish Dean didn't have to go through this."

"I don't really know how to feel about all this." Bronwyn suddenly looks crestfallen as she also pulls her knees up. "It just didn't feel that Dean was evil right now, you know? I was all teary-eyed about Hunter, and he was looking at me like he was trying to comfort me. Totally crazy."

"Wait, what? Why the hell were you crying about Hunter?"

"Turns out he's not really interested in me, but just heard that Dean showed up at our apartment. So he just questioned me until I had enough and left."

Bewildered, I look at her. "Asshole."

"No shit."

I feel sorry for Bronwyn because in the four months I've known her now, she's had nothing but horrible dates. That makes me then not even want to go on any dates because something always seems to go wrong for her. If I think about it, she still tries, while I had nothing to do with boys after the relationship with Kolin.

I wonder where Dean is right now and if he is alone because he shouldn't be, especially right now. A strong desire comes over me to look for him, but where do I start? He could be anywhere.

And he probably doesn't even feel like he wants company, especially not mine. He seems like someone who doesn't open up easily, so why would he open up to someone he barely knows? Then again, Bronwyn always says I'm pretty good at taking her mind off things. With my babbling, I actually believe her about that, but still, I can ─

A knock interrupts the flow of my thoughts. I'm immediately on my feet and sprint to the door, faster than I thought it would be possible because I'm pretty sure that either Dean or Gavin is at my door. Hopefully, both, because I need an explanation for what just happened there with the Catchers.

I rip the door wide open and disappointment settles in me. "Oh."

"Why 'oh'? Were you expecting someone else?"

"I definitely wasn't expecting you, Kolin."

The corners of Kolin's mouth lift. "I really need to talk to you, Sydney-Britney."

Bronwyn suddenly stands beside me. "Call her by that name one more time and my foot will end up between your legs."

Okay.

"Don't you have anything better to do?", Kolin wants to know from her. "Dressing dolls, for example?"

"You don't dress dolls in mode management, how many times again?" hisses Bronwyn.

She and Kolin often have an argument about this, which is completely unnecessary. Everyone should study what they want and what they enjoy, no matter what it is. But then again, what does Kolin know about it? After all, he has always danced according to his parents' nose and is studying psychology only for that reason.

I remember the party when we hadn't been together yet. He was drunk at that time and revealed a bit more about himself than he actually wanted to. "Lunatic asylums is the worst place to be," he said at the time, and he said it over and over again. The next day he acted as if nothing had happened, and even now he tries to pretend that he really enjoys his college life.

Yet I know better. "What do you want to talk about, Kolin?"

He's clearly glad I'm responding. "I'll tell you if you come with me."

"It's kind of late, and who knows what you're up to. I'm not going anywhere today."

"We're just going for a walk, Sydney-Britney."

Bronwyn makes throwing up noise next to me and then turns away.

I grab my jacket and slip into my shoes before I walk past him and accidentally knock into him. Meanwhile, he's just grinning to himself and running a triumphant hand through his dark blond, short hair.

"Don't give me that look," I say warningly. "The only reason I'm coming with you is because I know exactly what you want to talk about."

We enter the campus, which is empty except for a few students who may still be studying in the twilight. I feel uncomfortable, but if Kolin has something to say to me about Dean, I want to hear it. Even though it probably won't be the truth.

The small pebbles crunch under my shoes as we walk silently side by side. It's unseasonably windy in New Haven, and I regret not bringing a scarf because I would need it right now.

Kolin clears his throat awkwardly. "So, Dean Walker was in your apartment again?"

Oh, so he's getting right to the point.

"No, he wasn't," I lie. "Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?"

I don't think I've ever seen Kolin as serious as he is at this moment. "I know him better than you think. His parents work in law enforcement, like mine, and used to be good friends, so Dean and I saw each other sometimes. I wouldn't say we got along very well, but at the time I didn't know how he really was."

"And how is he really?", I ask, emphatically bored, although I'm actually burning to know. But I don't want Kolin to think that it changes anything about things just because he knew Dean before.

He takes a deep breath. "He's unpredictable, Syd."

He only calls me Syd when it's really serious.

"You're too gullible to see it, but he did it," he says. "My parents and his can prove it."

"His own parents are against him?" Shocked, I run a hand through my tangled hair, which only knots more from the wind.

He nods. "They're convinced that he did it. And you should be too, and not blindly trust him while letting him into your apartment. That's fucking irresponsible."

"Don't tell me what to do or not," I hiss angrily."There's no hard evidence that he did it, and while there isn't, I don't believe a word you say."

He snorts contemptuously. "You want proof? I'll give it to you, count on it."

"I will," I reply.

" You are honestly still as naive as you used to be, you know that? Instead of turning your brain on, you're probably just paying attention to how good looking the murderer of an innocent girl is. Women!"

Now he's going too far.

"Women?" Outraged, I stop and cross my arms in front of my chest. "You men can't even take a rejection when we give it to you in black and white. For months you've been running after me, even though it's obvious that I purely want nothing from you. And you call me naive?"

Kolin seems tensed. He doesn't like the fact that I'm dumping him again, that's clear. "How can you talk to someone like Dean, but you can't last ten minutes with me? Don't you dare deny it. I know for sure that he's trying to get in contact with you. The worst part is, you're joining him. Is it fun to get banged by a murderer?"

"Shut up," I order him angrily. "Just shut up. I'm not getting banged by absolutely anyone. But if it happened, it wouldn't be any of your damn business, you understand?"

I walk past him because I'm way too angry to listen to what else he has to say. Because I know there's more about Dean.

Kolin's footsteps are close behind me. "Hold it right there, Syd. We weren't done yet."

"Oh yes, we were. If I were you, I'd shut up now, or Bronwyn will follow her promise and her foot will end up between your legs."

The footsteps behind me fall silent and I know he has stopped and is looking after me. Apparently, Bronwyn does scare him a little, but I knew that from the start. Kolin and I both know that she would kick his ass without blinking if she needed to.

"You need to stay away from him," Kolin calls after me. "Because if you don't, you'll be the reason he eventually gets caught."

-