80: No Way

A/N: Yes, last chapter then epilogue.

Pi

He looks like he’s hurting. I knew so well how I hurt him but like I said, I want to make the most of the remaining percentage I have.

And I have contingency plan.

I got the gun I kept on my side. Mabilis na kinasa ko iyon, pointing it on his crotch. He froze, smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. He’s probably thinking this is more me than I was a moment ago. 

“It’s just yes or goodbye balls Rocket,” banta ko sa kanya. “Why not give me a chance? I’m flat but hot. No one makes me wet more than you do. You’ve seen me in my worst self, remember how we shit together dahil sa mais?” I saw him smiled on that, probably remembering that time. 

I thought I’d die of shame nang makita ako ni Cooler sa ganoong sitwasyon but then Rocket saved the day. We both have an embarrassing moment but I realized I didn’t hate him that time. I thought I was busy catching Cooler’s attention when in fact I was busy starting to fall for him.

“Rocket, you were the only one who easily blend with me despite my psychotic character and murderous self. You’re literally one call away just when I sulked upon the thought that Cooler’s busy. I didn’t know I was actually falling for you pero dine-deny ko iyon sa sarili ko.

“You showed me how to become someone’s favorite. You never run away from responsibility. Remember when I got pregnant? You showed your responsible self and I admire you for that. You are most attentive to my needs. You were so unique, you do not settle for flowers and sweet dates. You go for a freaking waterproof mascara and getting a tattoo. I was so stupid for letting you slipped off like that,” mapaklang natawa ako. Yes, that’s the man I’ll be losing if I keep my shit up.

“But then, something terrible happened. Siguro masyadong galit sa akin ang pagkakataon kaya kinuha niya ang anak ko. I hate myself the moment I woke up and realize I am alive but my baby,” my voice cracked but I still tried my best not to drown in weeps. “I should have died instead, why take an innocent being? I took away his opportunity to live and dream big, to become amazing man someday. I took your opportunity to become a father. Kapag naaalala ko ang saya mo kapag dinadama mo ang pagsipa ni Baby Rocket sa loob ng tiyan ko, it felt like salt added to my open wound. I took away the chance I had for myself to become someone better- and that’s to become a mother. And I have to live with that pain every fucking day, two years had passed and it doesn’t feel any better. It kills me to know I only have to carry baby Rocket in my heart, not in my arms... that he will only live in my memory, not physically beside me.”

“That’s when I started becoming insecure. That when I lost baby rocket, I will also lose you so I took the leap and avoided a heartbreak. I thought it wasn’t painful, but damn, the pain is excruciating. I began comparing myself to those women you loved before,” mapait na napangiti ako. “Ibang-iba ako sa mga babaeng minahal mo noon. I am not selfless and righteous so I’ll be selfish and keep you to myself come hell or high water. I am not brave, coming back to you is also a coward move dahil kung matapang ako, papanindigan ko ang katangahan ko at tatanggapin ang katotohanang nilayuan kita noon. I am every bad thing and that’s how you knew and liked me, right? So you have to think wisely not to say no to me or you’ll be picking up pieces of your balls on the floor,” banta ko. Truth be told it took me a lot of courage to say it. I was being shameless for running way and coming back as if nothing happened.

He was right, it wasn’t so me when I started saying cheesy things and all those shits. I get what I want through threats and coercion. And come to think of it, he knew I was like that from the start, he even called a psycho pero tanggap niya kung ano ako. What the hell am I thinking when I left him?

He suddenly grabbed my hand holding the gun and pulled me to him instead. Niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit, sighing directly on my skin. “You devil woman...”

His voice still sounded like he’s in pain.

“I could have find a brave woman, righteous and everything but I guess I’m not really suited for someone who’s a total opposite of me, right? When I found you I actually found my match. You were different from everyone I knew. You are adorable in your ways, you know, kahit pa ilang beses mong pagbantaan ang buhay ko. Even if you drugged me countless times, even if you hurt me in ways you do not even realize, heck, you could kill me right now and I’ll still adore you,” he breathed on my skin. “You could step on me and I’ll still adore you. You can fucking put bullets in my brain and I’ll still fucking adore you.”

Inilayo niya ang katawan sa akin at hinawakan ang balikat ko, staring directly at my face. “I hate to admit it but you had me at my neck Pi. Kung tanga ka dahil iniwan mo ako, mas tanga ako dahil tatanggapin kita kahit ilang beses mo akong saktan, kahit ilang bess mo akong iwan. But please, don’t. Even the thought of you leaving me again scared the living hell of me.”

I tiptoes and planted a chaste kiss on his lips. When I pulled away, he was smirking at me.

“What? Ayaw mo ba?” medyo asar na tanong ko.

“Do not try to cut me off with a kiss, I’m not yet done with what I want to say,” istriktong sabi niya.

Oh sorry. “Go on.”

He tossed the gun somewhere the slid his hands into mine, squeezing it. “When we lost the baby, I lost my self. When I lost you, I lost all that I am. But that moment, natakot ako na baka iwan mo nga ako dahil wala na ang anak natin, who knew you only agreed to be my wife because of the baby--”

“No Rocket--”

“Do not cut me off,” he insisted, annoyed at me.

Uh I should keep my mouth shut and just hear him out.

“I know you liked me because I have a pretty face, great dick and performance like you said, so there were moments when I come to realize, paano kung isang araw ay hindi na ganito ang mukha ko? What if one day my dick will fail--”

What? No! Don’t you dare to say that!

“No--”

“Just let me finish okay?” now he’s annoyed. “Natatakot akong dumating ang araw na iyon but as time passed by, I realized you’re more than that. You actually care for me despite claiming you only like me for the things you’ve mention. You’re a woman who loves deeply. You claimed you will be the world’s most terrible mother when in fact you possessed mother instincts without realizing it. You’re vocal in your needs, you’re natural and you do not try to look pleasing to others eyes at sa halip ay pinapakita mo kung ano at sino ka talaga, and I admire you for that.”

He cupped my cheeks, wiping some tears using his thumb. “I love you Pi, hindi ako maapagod na sabihin ‘yan sayo. And if you decided to runaway, hindi ako mapapagod na habulin ka. Life is tough but it would be tougher without you. God, I love you so much that I didn’t know if this is the side effect of the countless times you drugged me--”

Mahinang hinampas ko siya s dibdib at pinandilatan ng mata. “You devil, that was just pure me. I am 200% adorable, 200% beauty, 200% brain, what more could you ask?”

He smirked, looking down at my chest. “Well, to answer that question, tits, I guess?”

“You bastard!”

Mahinang tumawa siya at niyakap ako. He planted kisses on my hair. “Do not leave me ever Pi, please?”

It was a simple request but he sounded so full of emotions. Like a kid begging for a cookie, a puppy begging for some treat. I cupped his cheeks and stared into his eyes. The eyes which were dark like coals but was capable of luring you in too deep. Dark eyes yet hold so much emotions in it. And right now I can see sincerity, hope and relief.

“I will never leave you Rocket,” sagot ko sa kanya.

It wasn’t a promise I want to fulfill, it was a commitment I accepted with all my heart.

Rocket is my sunshine, that kiss me warmth throughout the day. He is my moon to light me in the darkest night. He is my rest after a tiring day and the kiss to soothe that weariness away. He is the bullet to my gun, my life, my overall foundation. 

I would be an utter fool if I let go this incredible man whom I couldn’t ask for more. I mean, c’mon with that pretty face, genius mind, gorgeous genes, amazing bloodlines, badass family, amazing dick and outstanding overall performance?

There's no way I should let him go.

#

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