76: Give In
76: Give in
Pi
Isang hindi inaasahang bisita ang kumatok sa bahay ko nang hapon na iyon.
“Hi!” bati niya at malawak na ngumiti.
I blinked fast as I looked at him. “C-cooler,” tanging nasabi ko.
He flashed me his boyish smile bago lumagpas ang tingin sa nakaawang na pinto. “Uh, hindi mo ba ako papapasukin?”
I cleared my throat before opening the door wide. Ngumiti siya bago pumasok sa loob at iginala ang tingin sa balikid. My apartment is from far how much my dad’s networth is. Kahit ang servant quarters namin dati ay mas malaki pa kaysa sa inuupahan kong bahay. The walls were old and cracking. Malamang kung may malakas na lindol ay titibag na iyon.
The TV on the side was also old at hindi katulad ng mga smart TV na nasa kwarto ko noon. No other appliances inside maliban sa maliit na ref. I bet he’s surprised to see how I lived now, malayong-malayo sa buhay ko noon.
“Kumusta ka na Pi?” tanong niya sa akin. I can feel him debating to himself if he’s gonna seat on the old sofa or monobloc chair.
“I’m... good. C-coffee?” tanong ko sa kanya.
He nodded with a smile. “Yes please,” sagot niya bago umupo sa sofa. He watched me strode to the kitchen to get a cup and stopped halfway.
“I only own instant,” pagbibigay-alam ko sa kanya at itinaas ang sachet ng instant coffee na meron ako.
“I can drink anything Pi,” sagot niya.
My mind’s blank habang nagtitimpla ako hanggang sa naupo ako sa tapat niya. He smiled at me before sipping on his cup and made a satisfied sound on his throat.
“You know what, minsan naiisip ko na ang gastos ko sa 180 pesos na kape mula sa mga sikat na coffee shop ay sayang. I mean, look, a seven pesos cup tastes as satisfying as those expensive coffees, right?”
Ngumiti lamang ako at mahinang tumango. “Paano mo ako nahanap?”
“Had to bribe Phillip’s friend para ituro ‘tong tinitirhan mo,” sagot niya sa akin, referring to Dennis. “Anong nangyari sa inyo ni Ryu kagabi Pi? He went home drunk and angry.”
Napayuko ako at pilit na ngumiti.
“And if I’m being honest, I’d say you don’t look any better. I mean, your eyes are puffy, a sign that you cried all night,” nag-aalalang sabi niya. “What exactly happened Pi?”
Not much Cooler.
He just called me a slut and showed me his disgust.
Pero pinili kong huwag iyong sabihin. Kinagat ko na lamang ang pang-ibabang labi at umiling, refusing to tell him what really happened between us.
“He went crazy looking for you for the past two years,” sabi niya nang mapansing wala akong balak na sagutin ang una niyang katanungan.
Great, now that’s making me feel worse.
“Pero mahirap hanapin ang taong ayaw magpahanap,” pagpapatuloy ni Cooler. “And I thought now that he found you, magiging okay na ang lahat pero hindi pala.”
Hindi ko na napigilan ang pag-agos ng luha ko. “Aren’t you supposed to get angry on me Cooler?” tanong ko sa kanya. “I left your cousin after we lost your nephew, remember?”
He reached for my hand and pressed it, giving me comfort and assurance. “Hindi ako ganoon kababaw Pi. There must be a reason why you left. Let’s say I was mad for a moment kasi naaawa na ako kay Ryu but if you come to think of it, it must have been hard for you too.”
Thank fuck, at least someone understands how I feel.
“It... it was tough,” pag-amin ko at hinayaan ang sariling umagos ang mga luha. I wasn’t a heavy crier before but now I do not bottle it up until I cannot bear it. For the past two years I spent almost every nights crying and grieving for the baby I lost and the love I abandoned. Iniiyakan ko ang katangahan ko at ang pagputol ko sa sariling kaligayahan ngunit tiniis ko iyon, thinking I made the right decision.
I lived normally and restrained myself from getting any sort of news about him, and I did. For two years. Two long years that felt like forever. Sa totoo lamang ay halo-halo ang emosyong nararamdaman ko simula nang makita ko si Ryu. There’s so many emotions that them coming as one confused me on how I truly felt.
“Pero mas mabuti nang ganito Cooler,” sabi ko. “Masasaktan ko lamang siya kapag nanatili ako.”
“Do you think leaving him doesn’t?” he asked.
I froze, unsure what to think.
“I still think I made the right decision. Nasaktan ko siya at ayaw ko na siyang saktan ulit,” sagot ko sa kanya. “I tend to make things worse, there may be time that I disappoint him somewhere in our married life at ayaw kong dumating ang panahon na pinagsisihan niyang ako ang naging asawa niya.”
Cooler stared at me for a long moment. “I know my cousin. He’s the do or die type. When he decided on something, he wouldn’t regret it no matter what.”
“Nandito ka ba para pag-ayusin kami?” tanong ko. Hanggang ngayon ay masakit pa rin ang loob ko dahil sa sinabi sa akin ni Ryu kagabi. It was a tough blow right on my gut. He knew I am vocal when it comes to sex and my desires ngunit sa kanya lamang iyon. No guy could turn me on like he does.
Pero ayaw ko nang ipaliwanag ang sarili ko sa kanya. Ayaw kong sabihin sa kanya na mula nang dumating siya ay ay walang lalaki sa buhay ko maliban sa kanya.
Mabilis siyang umiling. “Nah, I’m just... concern Pi. Gaya ng sinabi ko, I know my cousin. I knew his struggles for the past years and I knew he truly loves you. I only wish for his happiness. He doesn’t seem like this but he had so much pain in his life at ayaw ko nang masaktan pa siya. Can’t you just sort things out and start over? Alam kong hindi madali ang hinihingi ko but...”
“Cooler,” putol ko sa sasabihin niya.
He looked at me with pleading eyes. “I’m just taking chances though. Sa huli ay nasa inyo pa rin naman ‘yan. It’s not that easy like how I wanted to see it pero umaasa pa rin akong maaayos n’yo ito. Then you can make another baby rocket and I will be an uncle and everybody’s happy, right?”
Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya gayong alam kong hindi nga iyon ganoon kadali. He also laughed and sipped on his coffee. He looked around my small space.
“I see you changed a lot,” puna niya. “What do you do for a living?”
“I worked as a crew sa malapit na restobar,” sagot ko. “On my free times, I worked as a volunteer sa isang foundation.”
He clapped his hands in amazement. “Wow, you changed a lot. Malayong-malayo sa Pi na nakilala ko. The Pi I knew shoot people on the face or in their crotch.”
I shrugged a bit. “Not really, I still shoot people a lot in their faces when something annoys me. Pang-ilang trabaho ko na iyan, I always get in trouble. One time, I stabbed one customer with a pointed spoon dahil masyadong mayabang. Binasag ko rin ang bote ng Jack Daniel’s sa mukha ng isang bastos na customer. I burned down the whole place when our employer refused to pay the employees for their overtime work. I haven’t changed a bit Cooler.”
His jaw dropped as he shook his head in disbelief. “Looks like you really didn’t. Hey, I know you have things to do but care to take a day off?” He made a cute pout. “Like I haven’t seen you in two years, how about let’s go and grab some drinks?”
With that pout, I couldn’t say no.
***
RYU
I come home late than I usually do. There’s an important shipment assigned to Cooler but man was out somewhere he didn’t say and told me to cover up for him. I couldn’t really say no to him so I worked a little late today.
Pagkatapos i-park ang sasakyan ay pumasok na ako sa loob ng bahay. I lived alone in the house given to us by Cronus, hoping that one day my wife would come back. My hands fumbled with the key as I entered the house, tossing my things on the living room.
I loosened my shirt’s button as I went to the master bedroom, deciding to take a shower. Bigla akong natigilan nang may marinig akong kalabog. I immediately take a hold of my gun as I entered the room silently. The room was quite a mess, hindi iyon ganoon nang umalis ako kanina. My hand tightened on the gun as I stealthily walked towards the bathroon kung saan naririnig ko ang kalabog.
I kicked the door hard, only to come face to face with amazing ass half lying by the bathtub’s side. The soap and other bath essentials scattered by the floor in a mess.
What the hell?
“Sino ka?!”
The woman lifted her head from the bathtub and wiped the side of her lips as she turned to face me.
Oh damn.
It was Pi.
She grinned at me with diluted eyes.
The bathroom smelt like gunpowder and berries and... vodka?
“Rooooockeeeet!” she greeted me and spread her arms as if for a hug only to fell right on the floor with a thud. Sa made a face ngunit sa huli ay tumawa lamang.
What the fuck how drunk is she?!
Looking at her right now, I remember what I told her the other night. It wasn’t what I wanted to tell her. Ang gusto kong sabihin sa kanya ay kumusta na siya, na miss na miss ko na siya, that I want her back but I was so angry that I tend to say rude things I didn’t meant
I deeply regret it but for a second I thought she deserved it. She deserved to feel pain like I did but I didn’t get the chance to say sorry or kahit bawiin na lamang ang sinabi ko.
I knew I’m such an ass by telling her that.
And how did she come here?
Lumapit ako sa kanya at tinulungan siyang tumayo, glancing at the puke she had at the tub. I smirked as I turned the tap on to clean her mess. She blinked at me as she held on my shoulders with weak hands, poking my cheeks.
“Wait, who are you? Don’t touch me Mister... I’m a married woman...” sabi niya sa lasing na boses.
“How did you get this drunk?” I asked, carrying her towards the room. Inilapag ko siya sa kama at tumawa lamang siya.
“Hey mister, nakita mo ba si Cooler?” tanong niya.
Huh so it’s Cooler. He planned this, I knew it. That’s why he asked me to cover up for him at kaya pala tanong siya nang tanong kung anong oras ako makakauwi.
That man!
Maybe I’ll confront him for this.
I watched her struggled on standing up, sighing to myself. Tumayo ako at kumuha ng damit niya. She still had her clothes in our closet, I never touched her things since the day she left in hopes of one day she’ll come back. I tossed her a pair of her clothes.
“Here, wear this,” wika ko at inihagis sa kanya ang mga damit.
She fumbled on it with a pout. “Y-you are so kind mister now do you mind turning around as I.. change?”
She smiled like a kid and I glared at her before turning around but I can see her from the mirror in front of me. Tiningnan ko siya habang nahihirapang hubarin ang kanyang pang-itaas na damit.
God I missed my wife so much but I have to endure no matter how much I missed her.
She successfully removed her shirt, displaying her tattooed body in black brassier. Damn, god knows how I missed running my lips on those inks. She struggled putting on her shirt and decided to just tossed it on the floor in annoyance.
Napabuntong-hininga na lamang ako at lumapit sa kanya at kinuha ang damit.
“Hey hey no looking!” sabi niya at niyakap ang sarili para itago ang dibdib.
I smirked. “As if there’s something behind that sheer cloth.”
She made a face as she looked at her chest before returning her eyes on me. “You’re rude!”
“That’s an honest comment Pi, you changed a lot but your chest are still the same,” sabi ko sa kanya at inayos siya ng upo upang maalalayan siya sa pagsuot ng kanyang damit.
She uncrossed her arm and punched me in the gut. She’s too drunk to make a punch so it’s just a brush of hand over my tummy. “Big boobies are hassle at crucial times mister.”
Mapait na napangiti ako. She told me the sae thing before as an excuse of her being titless.
Titless...
“If you say so,” tanging sagot ko.
“Big boobs are heavy, you got a lot of sweat beneath them and that’s a no no,” sabi niya at muling ngumiti. “What the hell I had so much to drink I can see my man’s face in you.”
“Your man?” tanong ko.
She hazily nodded. “Yup, my devil man.”
I smirked, unsure how to react. She had a lover huh?
“Do you know him?” she asked me.
“Who?”
“Ryu fucking Vander Morisson,” nakangiting sagot niya.
“Yeah?” sagot ko.
“That’s my man!”
I shook my head and convinced myself. She didn’t mean it, she’s just drunk.
“Why did you drink so much?” I asked, still assisting her to wear the shirt na hanggang ngayon ay hindi parin niya masuot-suot. Every time she gets a hold of it, she would toss it on the floor!
“But... I had another men!” malayong sagot niya.
I was getting mad I wanna go shoot people!
“Harry Styles and Matty Healy!” she happily said.
Okay that’s a relief. I thought I’d go shooting people later tonight.
“Wear this shirt Pi and get sober,” sabi ko sa kanya.
She giggled lazily before holding her tiny twins. “Why, do you get aroused with the amount of cleavage I had? I know, I know they’re small but they’re terrible!”
Damn this woman, guess I gotta need a shower later to calm myself.
“Oh shit!” biglang bulalas niya at napatakip sa kanyang bibig. “Tell me I’m not hallucinating right now, you are really Ryu!” she started poking me on the side. “You’re... never mind you’re not Ryu. That asshole!”
Yes I am that asshole.
She started tearing up. “That asshole told me I’m a slut...” She started weeping and I started to get annoyed. Now I really hate myself for saying things I really didn’t mean.
I pulled her towards me and kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck as she looked at me with recognition. “You’re a dick, you know that?”
She’s smiling because she’s too drunk. I know I cannot have a sensible talk with her if she’s not drunk and I’ll be too egoistic to beg her to talk to me. Guess being drunk is an advantage at the moment. She started caressing my face as she stared at me sadly.
“I missed fucking you,” she said with a frown, an honest remark.
Damn woman still horny as fuck.
“I missed you so much but... you said I’m a slut, that fucking hurts you know!” Two hands cupped my cheek as she made me stare at her face to face. “I want to kiss you but then I will hate myself in the morning for doing so.”
“Bakit?” tanong ko. It’s not really a good idea to talk to her in her current state. I might gave in like I always does when it comes to her and then she’ll hate both of us in the morning. That’s not what I wanted to happen.
“Kasi...” she hiccuped. “Uh never mind, damn all my inhibitions, just kiss me.”
Yeah, fuck all our inhibitions, I have to give in.
I pressed my fingers in between in eyes after deciding I’ll give in to it. “Fuck, I’ll deal with it in the morning,” I said and groped her waist as I pulled her mouth to mine.
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