53: no regrets
#DWTDWP

Pi

Nakipagsukatan ako ng tingin kay Rocket at sa huli ay siya ang sumuko. He looked away, ruffling his own hair.

“Titless stop being stubborn and get your ass out the bed. There’s only few days left before our wedding and you haven’t fit your dress yet!”

I rolled on the bed and hugged my bear. “You wouldn’t understand me, I told you today’s not the right time.”

“Ganyan din ang sinabi mo noong una. First time, you said you’re feeling nauseous and you don’t feel like going out. So we postponed. The next schedule, you said you’re feeling tired and sleepy all day because of your pregnancy kaya ipinagpaliban ulit natin. Last week, we were so worried about your dad kaya hindi ka nakapagpasukat, what reason will you give me now?” litanya niya. Okay why the hell is he getting stressed over this? Haller? Siya ba ang magsusuot ng gown?

“If you want to go, just go and fit your suit duh. I’ll see you at the church during the wedding. Don’t you think it’s great? ‘yong tipong masusorpresa--”

“I’m serious here Titess, get dressed or ako mismo ang magbibihis sa’yo?”

I smirked, giving him a challenging look. “Huh as if I’m scared.”

He heaved a sigh and looked at me helplessly.

Alright, I think I feel the need to explain. “I don’t want to go... not today please?”

“At bakit?”

I looked away, zipping my mouth. “I’m not telling why.”

“Inuubos mo ang pasensya ko.”

“You wouldn’t understand me even if I tell you!”

He turned to stare at me with cold eyes. “Hindi mo pa nga sinasabi kung bakit, and yet you’re judging me that I wouldn’t understand?”

I pouted, “You really wouldn’t!”

I watched him pull his hair out of frustration. Alright, that’s hot but hey I’m not really going! I don’t feel like going...

“Kung hindi mo sasabihin bakit, I’ll tell mom to stop sending you baked goodies. Also, I’m not coming here for three nights--”

Napatayo ako sa narinig. “Hey that’s mean!”

Why would he ask his mom to cut my supply of baked goodies?! Those were the best I’ve ever tasted and I couldn’t carry on without having a bite of it everyday! And him not coming here for nights means I lost the best snuggle pillow I ever had!

That’s even meaner of him!

“Also, hihiramin ko si Shabu kay John--”

“No, you’re not taking our dog!”

He smirked at me. “He likes me and he’s willing.”

“But--” I sighed in surrender. “I really don’t feel like going today... because...” I peered at him through my lashes at nakaabang din naman siya sa sasabihin ko. “I feel so fat and bloated, I think even the best wedding dress wouldn’t look good on my figure right now.”

Napayuko ako at kinagat ang labi ko. Okay, now I hate the idea of not fitting my dress before I had this obvious bump on my tummy. Not that I regretted having a baby rocket inside my womb. During my first ultrasound to confirm my due date, sabi ng doktor ay maayos naman ang pagbubuntis ko. Me and baby rocket is on the right track and we may have another ultrasound on my 18th or more week of pregnancy to know the gender.

But wait...

Is this asshole about to laugh?!

“Pinagtatawanan mo ba ako?” nakataas-kilay kong tanong.

He bit his lower lip and look away, replacing the tiny grin into an annoying smirk. “No.”

But he really is!

“Rocket!”

Bahagya siyang tumawa at lumapit sa akin. He sat beside me and reached for my hands.

My damn swollen hands.

“Stop being insecure of your body. It’s normal--”

Binawi ko ang kamay at kinatok ang ulo niya. Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin. “You’re the worst! You really agree I’m getting fat and bloated?!”

That made him chuckle even more. “Just to remind you in few days you’ll become more fat than you are today, so saka ka na magsusukat? Do you want to look like a sack of rice on your wedding day?”

Oh shit no.

No way.

No fucking way.

Agad akong tumayo at kama at binuksan ang closet ko.

“I’ll be ready in 10 minutes.”

“Good girl.”

***

RYU

Nakikinig lamang ako sa diskusyon ng designer at ni titless tungkol sa wedding gown. The designer proposed some of his best ideas given the little time he had and even if I have no idea about wedding dresses, I must say his suggestions were definitely good.

Except that titless is opposing to almost every idea.

“Ma’am ball gown type is--”

“No,” tanggi niya. “It’s too heavy to wear and hassle so no to it.”

“Or this mermaid--”

“No no no no! Hello, can’t you see this bump here?” tinapik niya ang kanyang tiyan. “Imagine me wearing that kind of dress tapos malaki ang tiyan?”

Napatingin ang designer sa tiyan niya. “But it’s not that bad ma’am. I mean, hindi pa naman masyadong malaki, also you have good hips that will definitely steal the show.”

I agree. I certainly agree. Titless’s hips could stop traffic.

“No,” she crossed her arms and looked away.

What a brat.

Sumenyas na lamang ako sa designer and he just smiled at me, as he scanned through his designs. I made titless faced me as we sat on the couch.

“Look, you are opposing to every idea no matter how great it is dahil lamang sa tingin mo ay hindi magandang tingnan ang tiyan mo.”

“Because it really isn’t!”

“Then what do you want? Compress your tummy--”

“Oh my god, you’re the worst dad ever! Bakit ko naman icocompress and tiyan ko? Do you even know what it feels to have your world narrowed?"

"Exactly! Kaya anong damit ba ang hinahanap mo?"

She grinned mischievously. "How about one which expose baby rocket?"

What?

"Baby Rocket?" tanong ko.

Tumango siya at marahang tinapik ang tiyan. "You know, like tube dress exposing my tummy--"

Oh please.

"Hindi ka papapasukin sa simbahan."

She pouted. "But--"

"At kakabagin ka."

Ngumiti ang designer at may pinakita kay Titless. "Ma'am I think this one suits you."

She peered at the design, carefully assessing it with her keen eyes. "I think that one will do."

Mababakas ang galak sa mukha ng designer. I could also see that titless somewhat liked it more than her face shows.

"We'll rush it po but maintain the quality of dresses our shop make. So while you're here, want to fit the dresses of similar designs?"

Napatingin ako kay Titless, silently asking her if she'd like it. She thought for a while before nodding a bit. "We're not really in rush so why not?" She flipped her hair and faced me. "Just wait here Rocket, I'll make you see how pretty your bride will be."

I scoffed a bit and looked away.

Well, I've seen it all along. Haven't I always tell her how beautiful she is despite the ink and scars she had?

Well maybe it's good to see titless in a white dress.

You know, for a change.

I swoosh my hand.  "Just go."

She giggled as she walked towards the fitting room kasama ang designer. Naiwan ako sa couch, unsure what to do. I thought of many looks that titless would have the moment she will walk out that curtain.

Maybe a white dress would suit her at all.

Or maybe not really.

But still I think she will definitely look good.

Really good.

Napag-isip isip ko ang buhay ko. In few days time, I am not just a father but also a husband. Kinapa ko ang kung anumang merong emosyon sa dibdib ko.

No regrets.

No second thoughts.

I'm more than ready to settle down.

Beyond willing to be tied with her.

You know, despite her being a psycho. Maybe I should worry about myself sometimes. Who knows she'll choke me in my sleep. Or gun me down anytime. Or pour dangerous chemicals in my drink.

Scary.

Definitely scary.

Marriage...

Let's face it, it's a big and sacred responsibility. I told myself before I will only be married once. And I had pictured out someone to be the woman I will watch as she walks down the aisle before.

Victoria...

But that was before.

I am happy that she's happy. Kinuha ko ang cellphone at tiningnan ang social media na meron siya. It was private, with zero following and zero followers but I am Apollo the Hacker and I know one's account if I want to.

She had it for herself and not for anyone, thus the zero numbers.

I flipped through her photos with her uncle. She's happy with her life, I know it. And I had long choose happiness too. And flipping through every memories of her just proved it to me I'm long over her and I have no regrets in choosing the path I'm in now.

"She's so pretty, is she a supermodel?"

Nagulat ako at agad na tinago ang cellphone sa bulsa. Titless is now in front of me, in a white dress and a veil.

"No, she's n--" Napatigil ako nang makita siya.

It's like everything that happens in a movie where the guy sees his woman in a wedding dress. It seems like everything around melted and there's just the two of you.

I guess some movie scenes weren't exaggeration at all.

I was wrong when I said maybe she will look good in a white dress.

She looks perfect.

"Hey Rocket?"

And I was snapped back to my sanity. "Yes?"

"I'm tired already, let's go home." Tinalikuran na niya ako at nagtuloy-tuloy sa pintuan and seconds later she disappeared through the huge curtains.

I let go of my breath that I was holding. She was literally breath-taking!

Napangiti na lamang ako sa sarili ko.

Definitely I have no regrets.

#

ShinichiLaaaabs✒️