44: that was love
#DWTDWP

RYU

It's new to see Titless all scared like this. She clung on me like I'm her lifeline. She's shaking... At the thought of speaking to my mom. Hindi siya natatakot nang ganito noong muntik na siyang gahasain ng mga lalaking iyon noong sinubukan naming hulihin sa akto ang kanyang uncle.

But now... She's pale. And cold. Which is unusual. I always see her as someone who fears nothing, not even death.

Now she's showing me a different side of her.

Inaamin kong natatakot din ako. I will soon to be a father, that will be some news to my mom.

But moms...

Moms are the best persons in the world. They will try to understand you in whatever mess you are in. They will be always there when everyone else deserted you.

"Baby!" bati ni Mommy nang mapagbuksan niya kami ng pinto. She gave me a quick peck on the cheek at napansin si Titless sa likuran ko. Nakakapit siya sa laylayan ng damit ko. "Oh, kasama mo si Pi, hello dear."

Gaya ng madalas niyang ginagawa ay hinalikan rin niya ito sa pisngi at hinawakan ang kamay papasok.

"Good timing! Cooler's here!" sabi ni Mommy.

Napaawang ang labi ni Titless nang mapatingin siya sa akin at nagkibitbalikat lamang ako.

Right. Cooler... Is the love of her life, according to her.

I'm sure this also makes it harder for her to keep the baby.

Pero nagulat na lang ako nang mapahinto siya. Mom also noticed it and looked at her. She took a step backward and cling back to me.

"Uh..." Now she's at loss of words.

"Mom, I told you she wants to talk with you right?" sabi ko.

Mom nodded, and Titless glared at me. Kung nakamamatay lamang ang tingin malamang bumulagta na ako. She's giving me that look that I'm screwed.

"Yes, nabasa ko ang text mo. What's this about?" tanong ni Mommy.

"... Advice!" mabilis niyang sagot. "Asking for... My friend." She had that nervous awkward smile.

Tumango naman si Mommy. "Okay."

"... With you, alone po..."

It's my time to glare at her. On the car we decided we will inform my mom about this. Hey, it's my mom and she deserves to know.

But titless is still hesistant. Gayunpaman, tumango pa rin si Mommy. "Okay. Mag-usap tayo sa terrace? I'll prepare snacks."

Titless smiled. "Okay lang po sa kusina tayo... And..." Huminga siya nang malalim at itinaas ang isang kamay. "Tita, question."

Napatingin kaming dalawa ni mommy sa kanya.

"...speaking of snacks, can we have bread rolls with hotdogs inside?"

Whaaat? That's the question? My mom looked baffled at nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin niya sa aming dalawa. I bet if mom says no, she will be so upset.

"Okay," sagot ulit ni mommy. "Anything else?"

Titless tugged my shirt. "Nakakahiya naman po."

"No it's okay, anong gusto mo Pi?"

"... Wag na po, nakakahiya eh." She even tucked a hair at the back of her ear.

Can I choke her for such gestures?!

"Sige na, sabihin mo na," giit ni mommy.

"Uh... Apple bites granola, cheesecake, low fat pretzels, spam fries, club sandwich--" she stopped and made a face when I tapped her back.

Is she seriously craving all of those?

Mom laughed at hinawakan ang kamay niya at giniya siya sa kusina. "Okay Pi, you'll have it all."

"Yay! Thanks tita, you're the best!" sabi ni Titless at niyakap si mommy nang mahigpit.

Eh? That's it?

****

Pi

Kulang na lamang ay pagsabayin ko sa isang subo lahat ng pagkain na inihanda ni tita. Right now she's making some healthy salad that I'm also craving for.

She would put everything in front of me and all I do is eat. She looks so happy feeding me. I'm happy being fed too!

It's almost half an hour since she started feeding me with whatever. Nang tinanggal niya ang suot na apron ay umupo siya sa stool na nasa harap ko.

"Eat to your heart's content Pi," sabi niya at pinanuod ako. "What will you want to talk about by the way?"

I froze halfway biting the spam fries. Bumalik ulit ang kaba ko. Masyado akong nadistract sa pagkain kaya nakalimutan ko ang rason kung bakit ako nandito ngayon.

... But Sweet Vander-Morisson seems like a nice woman. She fed me with all these delicious food. I'm sure as hell I can trust her with this matter.

Pinahid ko ng napkin ang gilid ng labi bago humarap sa kanya. "M-may kaibigan po kasi ako... She.. She's expecting a baby."

"Oh," nakangiting sabi niya. "That's good news."

"It should be... But... Paano kung ayaw pa no'ng friend ko ng baby?"

"Why not?" she asked.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at nilaro ang ilang fries sa plato ko. "Maybe she's not ready... And she doesn't wants responsibility."

"Tell your friend that motherhood isn't just responsibility but also a privilege. It is something one must be proud of Pi. Tell that to your friend."

She had the sweetest voice as she spoke to me. She seems to actually care.

"But she's scared..."

"Mothethood is scary but all your fears will disappear the moment you see your baby. It will be your strength, your happiness and everything, so do not be scared."

"Uhmmm.. Tita, we're still talking about my friend, okay?" I wish I could be brave as her to see motherhood as a privilege.

Ngumiti siya at inabot ang kamay ko. "Pi... Maglolokohan pa ba tayo rito? It's my son's right?" Tila maluluha na siya sa tuwa. "I can't believe I'm going to be a grandma."

My tears started to flow. "I'm sorry po."

Inangat niya ang mukha ko. "For what?"

I shrugged and kept crying. Tumayo siya sa kinauupuan upang lumipat sa tabi ko. She put her hand on my hair and gently caressed it.

"You're both old enough Pi, but I know deep inside you're both kids. But sooner, you'll be parents. I will be honest with you, being a parent isn't simple but it wasn't that hard. You will find yourself putting your child first more than anyone."

Tumango ako. "Like what my mom did," mapait na ngumiti ako at pinahid ang mga luha. "That was stupid, right?"

"No Pi, that was love."

That made me cry even more.

"Natatakot po ako," sinserong wika ko. Wow, I just really need someone sensible to talk to ngunit hindi ko pa rin maiwasan ang maging emosyonal.

"We all have fears. But why are you afraid of becoming a mother?"

"I'm afraid of failing to be one," sagot ko. "Hindi ako lumaki na may ina and my dad's too busy to give me enough attention. Paano... Paano kung ganoon rin ang mangyari sa anak ko?"

Tinapik niya ang balikat ko. "Then make sure your child won't experience what you did. Pi, makinig ka sa akin. Walang secret formula sa pagiging ina. It will come out naturally. But you have to be strong in all aspect. Alam mo ba na bago ko pa lamang nakasama si Ryu? Like you, he grew up without me because he thought I died. What's worst is that although his dad is alive, he seemed to die as a father too. Ryu lost me and his baby brother inside my womb. Naroon siya at nakita niya ang mga nangyari. He's just a kid and it's too much for him to handle. He even got a scar that reminds him of that tragedy, pero bilib ako sa anak ko. He's strong enough to see  it as a proof of how he made it through."

"...iyong peklat sa likod niya?" So that's why he prefer not to talk about it. It must have been a bad memory.

Tumango siya.

"Pero bumalik ka."

She shrugged. "I was lucky I met a man with a heart."

"...pero hindi ko pa rin po alam kung paano ito aayusin. I'm gonna be a worst mother."

She shook jer head to disagree with me. "You're both fearful to become parents but don't you see, that your fear of not securing a proper life for your child-- that alone means you started thinking of the kid's welfare already. That's what mothers do Pi."

She told me a lot of things na mas nagpagulo sa isip ko. Now I'm more torn on how to feel over my pregnancy. I asked her to keep it as secret for now and sooner or later ay babalik ako upang makausap ulit siya.

I like how she's not pushy on how I share things about Rocket and me. She just waited and listened. I will definitely be back some time soon imkubg sakaling may nga kailangan ako payo.

She's even nice enough to give me a paperbag full of food! It was sweet! My baby's grandma is so sweet!

"What are those?" tanong ni Rocket at tinuro ang mga dala kong paperbag na naglalaman ng pagkain.
Kasasakay lamang namin sa sasakyan dahil nagyaya na akong umuwi. I didn't even get to see Cooler gayong naroon din pala siya.

"Food," sagot ko.

"Food?"

I pouted. "I'm not sharing," I replied sticking my tongue out to him.

He gave me his usual smirked as he reached for my seat belt at ikinabit iyon. "How did it go?"

"She knew."

Napasinghap siya. "Well... How did she react?"

I shrugged. "... She doesn't feel bad about it."

"She's happy," sabi niya at pinaandar ang sasakyan. "Kailan mo 'to sasabihin sa pamilya mo?"

"Hindi ko alam."

That is another matter. I'm sure dad wants a grandchild, in fact matagal na niya akong binibiro na mag-asawa. I know the only one who will not be happy about this is Flavio. God, naaalala ko pa lamang ang mukha niya ay nanggigigil ako.

... But I have to keep calm at huwag masyadong panggigilan si Flavio dahil baka maging kamukha pa niya ang anak ko.

EW NEVER!

I tried to find anything that makes my mood light matapos kong isipin si Flavio. Ibinaling ko ang tingin sa labas but i wasn't feeling comfortable.

Kaya napatingin ako sa side profile ni Rocket.

And oh my fucking gosh.

This man looks so damn good!

10 of 10!

"Why are you so damn hot?" biglang tanong ko.

He suddenly stopped the car and looked at me with confusion. "What the hell? Where did that come from? Damn titless, are you being horny right now?"

Huh bastard!

I groaned. Why the fuck does he thinks that me admiring his visual equals me being horny?!

Rude! Very rude!

"I hate you!" bulalas ko at napahalukipkip. He's good in ruining my mood, wow. And here I thought I found comfort by looking at his face!

Muli siyang nagmaneho at nagfocus sa daan. "Sabihin mo na sa pamilya mo ang tungkol sa kundisyon mo. Tell them sooner so I can also arrange whatever on my side at nang mapag-usapan ang tungkol sa kasal."

My jaw dropped as I faced him.

Anong kalokohan ang pinagsasabi niya?

I glared hard at him. "Damn, I hate you even more!"

#

ShinichiLaaaabs✒️