They left.

Now it's just me and Thomas, and Joan.

I leave Joan and Thomas and head back into the mind, trying to forget the absence of everyone I loved.

I can't help but look around the kitchen for Patton baking cookies.

I can't help look around the armchair for Logan reading a book.

I can't help but look around anywhere except the chairs, for Virgil. I even check to make sure he isn't hanging on the ceiling.

He's gone.
My stormy friend is gone.
The one person I would never leave.
The one person I love.
The one person I thought loved me.

He didn't.

I head upstairs, for my room, when I see Virgil's door is still open. I can't help myself. I look inside.

The mirror is there, and everything is fine.

I should look around for clues. Anything to say where he might have gone.

I walk over. The mirror is a no-go.

The bookshelf has some interesting books on the geography of the Mind, so I grab a few and study.

One of them is untitled, just a simple leather book. Seems promising.

I open it and start reading.

I look around. Where am I?

Who am I? This jacket... is weirdly comfortable. I look around me, and as I turn my torso, I hear a crinkly sound. I look around again and hear it. It's coming from my shirt. I take a closer look at my shirt, and see a sticker on it. It says: Hi, My name is Virgil! Well, that's a stupid name. A name no one would want. A name that stands out, saying "Here, I'm the weird kid! Pick on me!"

I pull it off and crumple it into a ball. The ball goes in my pocket.

I look around again. Darkness. Wait... there's a light! I walk towards it, having nothing better to do. As I do, the thoughts begin.

Wait! There could be anything over there!

I wait. Nothing happens. Ignoring that weird feeling in my stomach, I walk towards the light. As I get closer, a world fills in around that light. Dark streets, dark buildings, dark people. I observe. They walk with heads down, eyes on the ground. I start to do the same. One person comes skipping down the sidewalk, wearing green and black. He hits one person. Kisses another. Just changes things. I keep my head down. I'm not going to stand out.

He comes up to me and somehow sees that I'm different. He sticks out a hand, the one not covered in blood. "Hi! I'm Remus!"

I keep my eyes down. It's too late to change now.

"Kid, you can look at me. I'm not going to bite... maybe I will, doesn't matter."

I keep my eyes on the ground, ignoring his pointy shoes.

"Kid, hey. I'm here. I can see you. You have an aura."

I try not to look around me. Better to pretend I can't hear.

"Kid, I know you hear me. It's ok."

Eyes down. He'll hurt you.

"Kid, please."

Eyes down.

"Kid, come on. If you don't say something, I'll just keep talking."

Eyes down.

"Dude, the other day, I saw Melinda making out with Jake."

No reaction, and he'll move.

"I ate cock... roach ice cream." ;)

Eyes down.

"My idiot brother just blew up someone's underpants."

Eyes down.

"Kid, I like you. I'll drag you along with me, and you can hear all the good dirt on everyone. I'll even make out with you!"

Alright, that's the line. I look up, and say "Hello."

He smiles. "Hello, what's your name?"

I'm not saying it. Never. What can I say instead? I guess... "Anxiety?"

It's not a name, but it'll work. It feels more me than 'Virgil' anyway.

"Is that a question, or a fact? And your name can't be your trait! That's stupid! What's your name?"

I stare him down. He doesn't get to know it. "Anxiety."

He grimaces. "Alright, I get it, let's go make out!"

"No."

"Fine, we can just kill each other."

"No."

"Fiiiiiiiiine."

He turns and walks away. I have nothing to do...

I walk into one of the dark buildings.

It's full of yellow... things.

They're weirdly shaped, and there are a lot of them. I grab one and inspect it. It has an orange part and two black dots. I keep looking at it when a voice comes from nowhere.

"Like it? It's free."

I look around wildly, attempting to find the voice.

"Kid, I'm right here."

The voice is coming from a dude with a black t-shirt with a white smiley face, white ripped jeans, black boots, and a mini cape.

"O-oh. Hey." My voice is weird. I don't like it. And he totally thinks it's weird. He's looking at me weird. He so thinks it's weird.

"Hey. You like the duck?"

"What's a duck?"

He sighs. He's disappointed with me. He hates me he's-

"A duck is a bird."

"What's a bird?"

He sighs again. He hates me. He thinks I'm weird and doesn't want to talk to me. I should just leave. "S-sorry, I was just..."

He stops me. "Dude, let me show you a slideshow for new sides. Come on."

He showed me a bunch of stuff that didn't make sense and explained it until it made even less sense.

There were 'animals'. They were really weird, but one of them stood out to me.

I pointed at it, and the stranger grinned.

"That's a cat."

I mouthed the word, keeping it close to my heart. I hugged myself and noticed I still had the duck in my hand.

"Kid, would you like to keep that duck? He suites you."

I nodded, embarrassed to show that I like it.

"Would you like to give him a name?"

I shivered. "H-how?"

He looks sad at my lack of knowledge. I'm such a disappointment. I should just leave. He shouldn't have to deal with me.

I start to leave when he pulls me back. "Kid, I can tell you're new. You don't have to keep trying to leave. To name something, you look at it, and try to see what it reminds you of."

I look at the duck. "It's a duck?"

"Yes. What's something you like the sound of? Something that he reminds you of."

I look at it. The black dots stare into my soul. The little wings that will never fly, the beak that should be sharp, the eyes that evolve into loving and kind the longer you stare at them.

"I'm not sure."

"It's ok. Look, kid, he's yours. You can keep him as long as you want to, and I'm sure you'll think of a name sooner or later."

I nod. Time. Time is nice.

"Alright, it's almost nighttime. Can you get home?"

I nod. I don't know what a 'home' is, but he shouldn't have to deal with me any longer. "Thank you for the duck and the knowledge."

And then I'm out. I'm into the cool air. It rushes up against me, my jacket keeping me warm. I don't know where to go, so I pick a direction and head that way.

I'm hungry and thirsty, but everything is dark, and I have nothing, and questions aren't fun. I just keep walking, my feet growing even more tired.

Eventually, I reach a park of some sort. My feet really hurt, so I go in. There's a slide, swings, giant climbing structure, and a water fountain. I almost get water, but what if it's dirty? What if it's poisoned? Better to just not.

I look around. The structure is too big, the swings are unsteady, and the slide could have anything in it.

But I'm so tired. The weight hangs on my eyes, forcing them to close. I go to the slide, looking in both ends very carefully, sniffing, and poking with my shoe. No wasps. No murderers, no demons. I duck into it and curl into a ball. Sleep doesn't come for a few minutes, which I spend to think about anything that could be lurking outside the slide, ready to eat me. The fear is real, but I'm so tired. I pull out my duck and look at it.

"Please protect me."

I then curl even tighter and let sleep consume me.

In the morning, I uncurl, my back popping. My neck hurts, but I wasn't murdered. I don't think I was poisoned either, but if I was, it'll take a bit for symptoms to show.

I get out of the slide carefully. My back, neck, and feet hurt.

I can't just keep walking again today. My feet hurt, and I could run into anything.

I'm so hungry. My stomach aches dully, reminding me of the feeling of something I've never known. The one dude showed me what food was, and some of it looked good. Like cake. I could go for some cake.

I hear two worried voices getting closer, and duck back into the slide. I can't just hear the worry in their voices, I can feel it. It pulls me, asking me to take care of it. It calls me, telling me that something's wrong, and I need to fix it.

I stay in place, ignoring the pull on my soul.

"He said there was a new one! He said that he looked scared! If he's a fear side, we need to take care of him! What if something happened to him on the way here? What if I never get to meet my son?"

God, I feel bad for him. If he lost his son, that's awful!

"Fear, it's going to be ok. He's probably smart and found shelter."

"He could be anywhere! What if he dies before I even get to see him?"

"He can't die, Fear. He's probably just wandering around somewhere. We'll find him."

They sound so sad and worried. I should help them, right? What if they're murderers? What if they think I'm weird? No, I have to try to help. Whoever they're talking about could be in trouble!

I poke my head out.

"Um, do you guys need help?"

Fear flinches back, looking terrified. "Sorry, you scared me."

The other one smiled at me. "Hey, I'm Phobia! Who're you?"

I don't want to tell them my name, so I guess we're sticking with 'Anxiety'.

"I'm... Anxiety."

Now Phobia looks surprised. I start to go away, I feel so bad for scaring them. "S-sorry, I'll j-just go..."

Fear speaks up. "Anxiety, do you mind talking to us for a minute? We think you might be who we're looking for."

I shiver a little. Is this dude my dad?

"Sure?"

Fear looks at me, "Are you new?"

I guess truth works best. 
"Yes."

"How do you feel right now?"

Honesty works best in this situation. "Hungry, thirsty, scared, and sore."

He smiles at me. "This may be hard to believe, but we can help you. I know you're going to be hesitant to trust us, but we can get you food, and water, and a place to stay. Would you like that?"

Nononononononononono, he's probably lying. He sees the panic on my face, and says "You don't have to come, just if you want to."

Would a murderer say that? Probably. Which one am I going to die from first, thirst, hunger, murder at the park, or going with him? Probably going with him, but I have few options. "A-alright."

He grins at me, Phobia with him.

Phobia starts talking to me too. "Kid, do you want to be my brother? As long as you're not a spider in disguise."

I nod. He seems nice.

Fear gestures for me to follow him. "Come on, let's go home."

There's that word again, that word that the duck dude used. I guess I have a home now.

I head off with them, ignoring the way my brain screamed at me to not trust them.

They got into a metal box and gestured at me to follow. No way. Not in that monster. It'll eat me! How can they trust it!

"Come on, Anxiety! It's ok. We're not going to hurt you!"

No. They don't understand. They expect me to follow them into a monster. They want me to get eaten, I'm not so scared of them, but this monster,  this monster can kill.

Fear turns the key, and it roars.

No. Way. In. Ducks.

I run, away from the monster. It roars again and follows me slowly. No way. I sprint, back to my sanctuary. Back to the park. It can't hurt me on the slide. I dive into the bottom. I pull out my duck and reassure it, looking into its scared eyes.

"It's ok, It's ok, It's ok. It can't hurt us here. We're ok, I'll protect you. You're ok."

I hear the roaring stop, but I'm shaking, hugging my knees. My heart pounds in my ears, every nerve on fire. Tears pour from my eyes, and the pain in my head throbs.

I open my mouth in a scream, but nothing comes out. The pain roars in my head, a lot like the monster.

I feel slight pressure, and hear some muffled sounds, and then feel motion, but the pain consumes it. I clutch my duck and hold tight. I'm moved, moved, moved.

Eventually, the pain fades, and I open my eyes. I'm in someone's arms, and they're petting my hair, soothing me. They're walking, and they're saying something I only make out as the roaring in my ears fades. "Fear, it's ok. He's ok. He just had an anxiety attack. He's ok. I can hear his breathing evening. You didn't hurt him."

I sigh and snuggle into Phobia's warm arms. He's wearing a wet black jacket, which must be in fashion, seeing as I'm wearing one too. The wet is probably the tears running down my face.

I wipe my face on his jacket and relax into him. He sighs, but it's one of happiness and runs his fingers through my hair some more. Before I can help it, a sound of pure joy bubbles out of me.

A deep rumble from my throat, vibrating the inside of me in a pleasant way.

"Fear, I think he just... purred?"

Fear laughs a bit. Phobia smiles at me. "You are my brother, and I will always protect you, no matter what."

I smile at him. "Hey, brother." He just about beams, and I purr a bit harder.

He sees my duck and his expression goes curious. "What do you have, Anx?"

I show it to him, fighting the surge of protectiveness.

"Oh my goodness! You have one of Dylan's ducks! It's so cute!"

I smile at him, burying my face into his shoulder.

He laughs, hoisting me further up. "Anx, we're almost home. Let me know if you want down."

He probably wants me down. I can see the tiredness and his arms fading...

"Anx, I don't really want to put you down, but if you want to, I will."

I don't want to go down, so I shake my head and snuggle further into his warmth.

When we get 'home', I look around and see another dark building, with white rose trees.I look at the trees in awe, and Phobia grins, lifting me up to get a better look at the delicate petals.

He laughs when I lean in, and get a noseful of the scent, sneezing. He gives me a minute, before taking me inside with him. "Alright. When you formed, a room down this hall formed for you to stay in. Right now it's just me, you and Dad, so don't worry about meeting new people. I'll make you a sandwich."

"What's a sandwich?"

He hugs me close. "I'll show you!"

Fear goes down the hall, and Phobia goes into the kitchen.

He sets me down on a white countertop, and I look around the kitchen. 

There are wood cabinets, a steel sink, a black box, and a windowsill over the sink with a purple orchid. There's a door, with a delicately painted version of the rose tree from the yard. There's a row of pans and pots hanging over the stove, and a clock on the wall. 

It's clean and orderly and has a nice effect overall. The walls are pale blue, the color of the sky.

While I'm looking around in awe, Phobia goes to the door, opens it, and pulls out a jar of goop and a bag of weird powdery shapes that form a block. He then goes to the black box and opens it with a slight shiver. He grabs a thing of goop, purple this time. He sets the items on the counter, grabs a square of paper, and opens the bag of weird shapes. He pulls out two and sets them on the paper. He closes the bag and sets it to the side. He opens a side drawer that's full of weird silvery things and grabs one. He opens one of the jars of goop, the brown one, and sticks the silver into it, scooping some of the goop out. It fills the room with a nice smell, and he smears the goop on the square-ish shape. He grabs another paper and wipes off the silver. He screws the lid back onto the jar and puts it to the side with the bag. He opens the other jar and sticks the silver into it. When will he ever learn? That gets the silver dirty! He scoops out some more and smears it on the other shape. He wipes it off with the same paper square and closes the jar. He goes into a corner of the room, and opens a black cylinder, putting the paper in it.

He puts the jars and bags in their respective places, and says "Tada! A sandwich!", presenting the shapes to me.

What? What did I miss? Is this... food?

I take it and look at it quizzically. He pantomimes taking a bite, so I do.

It's not bad. The goop has a weird texture, but it tastes pretty good, and the shapes aren't as powdery as they looked.

I swallow, feeling a little better. "What's the powdery things and the goop?"

He laughs. "Guess you've never seen it before, huh?"

I nod. "The powdery things are bread, and the brown goop is peanut butter, while the purple one is jelly."

I try to store those facts away. "I make no promises to remember that."

He laughs. I take another bite. It really isn't bad, but it seems like a lot of effort for a little food, and I'm still thirsty.

While I'm eating, he grabs an empty cylinder, a smaller one than the black one, and this one is clear. He goes over to the sink and flips something. Water pours into the glass. How?

He sets the glass onto the counter, and goes over to the pretty door, this time grabbing yet another cylinder, and setting it on the counter. He opens it, and pulls out a plastic scoop full of a yellow powder, pouring it into the glass. It turns the water yellow, and he does it again. He puts the cylinder away, scoop safely back in it. He opens the drawer of silvers, and pulls out a new one, with a different shape. He puts it in the glass and stirs.

He closes the drawer, and I'm reminded yet again how clean he is.

He takes the glass over to me, and pantomimes drinking it.

Yellow water, nothing weird... right? Is this poison? Did he decide to kill me? Was he pretending to be my brother to get me to trust him?

He must see the look of fear in my eyes because he sighs. "I'm not poisoning you, and if you don't trust me, I'll take a sip of it for myself."

But it could be targeted, his saliva could be poisonous, he could just be saying that, and not actually be willing to...

I give up. I just take a sip. They said I couldn't die either way.

A flavor hits me. Bitter, and sweet, an unidentifiable flavor, with a weird tang.

I like it. It's weird, but I like it. He smiles.

I drink the rest of it and stand up. "Um, can I... can I... c-can I please see my room?"

He smiles. "Sure!"

He walks into the hallway, leading me past two rooms, one with a white and black door, and one with a pink and black door, that matches his leggings.

He turns, and I see that he's standing outside a black door. Plain black. Like my soul. "Are you ok if I come in too?"

I nod.

He opens the door, and we walk inside. 

The room is mostly dark grey, with black pillows, a bean bag, and a small desk, with colored pencils and paints. There's a small door, leading to a bathroom, and another one leading to a closet. It's perfect.

"Alright, Phobes, I'm going to explore for a bit, possibly take a nap, bye."

I let him leave and close the door, a grin forming. I run over to the beanbag, and collapse onto it, loving the shushing sounds. Everything here makes instant sense. I might not know what jelly is, but everything in this room immediately clicks. I run over to the desk, and try to draw a cat from memory, but my art sucks. I dive into the bed. The covers are really warm. I have too much energy now, and the room beckons to me, so I set my duck down, and explore.

The bathroom is quaint, with a tub, toilet, sink, and necessary supplies, with coconut soap.

Somehow I know exactly what that is, and take a deep sniff. Even better than white roses.

I leave the bathroom and poke my head in the closet. The clothes in there are fun, and exactly what I'll wear. I dig around in there, looking at the eight different jackets. I move one to the side, and a strange bar across the back of the closet calls to me weirdly. I move the clothes to the side and see a ladder leading up. I grin, grabbing the bar, and begin to climb. A few feet above the ceiling, the ladder ends, and I step out, into the sky.

Well, not literally. The ground looks like I'm walking through stars, and the 'walls' are cloud-like and sunset-colored. The roof appears to be open to the sky. I walk towards the clouds and try to walk through, but they are actual walls, which gives me some relief. I look around the room and see a small cabinet, a guitar, a ukelele, and a piano. I grabbed the uke and tried to strum a few things, but my fingers were too big. I got an idea and snapped my fingers, and a tenor uke appeared in place of it. (an actual bit of trivia there)

I, on instinct, sang a few words. I didn't know how to play the uke yet, but I will learn. I'm not giving up.

After a few hours up there, I felt a tug in my soul. I don't know what happened. I stood up, and my jacket fell away. I had to get to whatever was pulling me. It needed me. I stretched out, and two things came out of my back. They were black, leathery, and had little rips.

I stretched them out and marveled at the feeling of cool air on them. I flapped them, on instinct. I raised off the ground a few inches and jumped in surprise. I flapped harder, and somehow, flew. I went up, up, up, up, up. I just kept going up, and then I was in a new place. I was in a room with a mirror. It had nothing else, just a mirror, and black walls. I put my wings away and walked out of the room.

Three faces stared at me in surprise. One was wearing a blue polo, with a gray jacket, one was wearing a black polo, with a tie, and one was an idiot.

They just stared at me, and I panicked. I ducked back into the room and slammed the door. The pull at my soul was still there, but those guys scared me.

I waited for a few minutes, but the pull just got stronger. Finally, I sighed, standing up, and walked into the outside. The faces were still there, shocked. I just ignored them and walked towards the pull.

The pull was coming from a direction I wasn't used to. Down. I got to a staircase and started to go down, but I was stopped by the idiot.

"What are you, and who are you?"

"Hello. I'm doing fine, thanks for asking." I replied, attempting to brush past him.

"I said, what are you, and who are you?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Excuse me, I am a Prince, and I am Creativity. A commoner does not talk to me that way."

"Alright," I replied, brushing past him. He said he didn't want to talk to me.

He was just left there, staring at me in shock.

I go down the stairs, and end up in a room, with a person sitting in it, talking to himself.

"How are you?"

"That's lovely."

"My dear, I would wish for nothing more."

He has the same face as everyone but is the only one not dressed as a flamboyant idiot.

He's talking to himself though, meaning he's about as sane as anyone else. 

"And then, the prince bows, and the queen smiles, and oh, god I hope I don't mess this up."

He's running lines for a play. That makes so much more sense. I don't want to come off as a stalker, so I just say "Hey".

He looks up in shock and gets more confused.

"You're not Prince. He's always here when I'm running lines."

Prince pops up. "Of course I am! Wait... what is this dude doing here?"

I look at them, confused. "What am I doing here?"

They reply in unison. "I don't know."

Well, that clears things up.

"Thomas, why is he here?" Prince asks the man.

"I just said I don't know, jeez!" Thomas says, breathing a little heavier.

He looks like he's about to freak out, so I get closer. 

He freaks out more. "Please... you're making it worse... just stay away, please."

What happened? What did I do to him?

Prince glares at me. "What did you do, freak?"

I look at my hands sadly. "I don't know. I'll just... go."

"Good."

I flee, running back up the stairs, hiding the tears. I just hurt that poor guy! And I don't even know how!

I go into the room I came from, trying to fall through the floor. It doesn't work.

I curl into a ball on the floor. I scoot, until my back hits something.

I turn around and see my face looking back at me, scared.

I go to brush it away, but, instead, tap. The reflection changes, becoming light, swirling around.

My hand reaches through, and I touch something familiar. My bed. 

I stand up and step through the mirror. 

I look around and see myself back in my room, except there's now a mirror. I'm afraid Phobia will notice. Oh. He's going to find out anyway, and I don't want to keep secrets from my brother.

I walk out of my room when he shouts "Dinner's ready!"

I leave my duck.

When I get out, I see he made a huge pot of spaghetti, more than enough for eight people.

He sees me looking at it in shock, and grins sheepishly. "I thought you might be hungry."

I just gape at him, and he sits down. "Come on."

I check the seat for needles or poison or anything, but it's clear. I sit down, and he hands me a plate. He starts scooping noodles onto his plate, and gestures for me to do the same.

I look at the noodles suspiciously. What is in them?

But, I guess today I met someone who hates me, and Phobia isn't like that, so...

I scoop some noodles but wait until he takes a few bites and doesn't die, so...

I eat some, and wow. He knows how to cook noodles.

I mumble a "thank you" around my mouthful of pasta.

He smiles, and Fear stumbles in. "Pasta? Yay."

He grabs a plate, and shovels the food on, about twice as much as mine and Phobia's combined.

He stuffs his face and finishes before I even get halfway through.

I finish eating, and take care of my dish? I put it in the sink and attempt to switch it as Phobia did earlier, but nothing happens. Phobia smothers a laugh and shows me how to work it.

I use it and wipe all the traces of food off my plate. What are they thinking about me right now?

No. Time to distract me. I plunk down on my bed and sleep.

Well, try to. I can't stop my brain from analyzing everything I've done, pointing out the flaws, and the ways others must have seen it. 

I give up on sleeping after about an hour and go up my ladder. The sky is gorgeous. This time, I notice fairy lights all around the edges, like errant stars. I lay on the ground, lightly sinking into it, like a pillow.

Sleep somehow comes a bit easier. As I fade into it, I see a sassy face glaring at me, with sunglasses. He seems to be saying. "No way. Chill out."

I flip a few more pages ahead. Is this actually a story or a diary? It's gotta be a story, seeing as I have no memory of saying that to Virgil.

Pheobe and I have grown close over the past few months. He slowly gained my trust, and I no longer think that the food is poisoned, or that he's going to murder me in the middle of the night.

I walk out of the house, going to the grocery store. Pheobe needs new cups, seeing as we shattered them with hammers yesterday to mess with Dad.

I look at the store. Too many people. I can't. My breathing catches, and I look for somewhere to hide. There's an alley. I run into it and collapse.

 Suddenly, a hand reaches down, and I grab it, desperate for anything to escape my brain. A young man helps me to my feet. He's wearing a yellow polo, with a black jacket around his shoulders, a black bow tie, and a black fedora. Half of his face is scales, and he wears a smile.

I'm weirdly not surprised by his face. Only a few dark sides have any face parts other than Thomas's face. I brush off tears and smile up at him. "Thank you. I'm V- Anxiety. Who are you?"

"I'm D- Deceit." He smiles nervously.

"What're you doing over here?"

"I-I could ask you the ssssame thing." He blushes, and it's adorable.

He's got some sort of speech impediment, but other than that, he's the cutest side I've ever seen. I shrug, "I was having a panic attack."

"And I wassss getting more d-dish ssssoap." He points to a small grocery store.

I smile at him, and he turns red.

"Where are you from?" I ask.

"I w-was a sssplit-off from one of the main sssidesss, Patton. He'sss like my older brother, who took one look at me, and decided I wasn't g-good enough for him."

I wince in sympathy.

"I'm just a splinter off of my older brother figure, I don't even think he's really my brother. He just likes to pretend sometimes. I think he's afraid to be alone."

The conversation continued, and for the first time since I was formed, I was happy. I found out that Deceit lied, but wasn't proud of it, his favorite color was puke green (jk, he lied about that, and then told the truth) I'm not sure he can go more than a day or two without lying. His older 'brother' wasn't exactly nice, even though his trait was Morality. He was gay (we all are), and the secret pocket in his fedora had a deadly poison (in case he was attacked), and a rainbow flag. He could secrete poison through his glands if he needed too, but he never did, since it gave him a sore throat. He had a speech impediment from his fangs and forked tongue. He hated ballet (I'm not sure if that was a lie). His favorite movie was Aladdin (the main character lied a lot, and he could relate), his only friend was Remus. He was painfully lonely and painfully lovely.

Before the end of that day, I had my first crush. If I'd only known... how much it would hurt.

Well... that hurt a lot. This has to be a diary.

Not gonna lie, it stings, knowing that Virgil liked Deceit. But how did Deceit hurt him? This could be vital as to where he is! I have to keep reading. And I want to.

The next page goes over their friendship, talking about the pranks they pulled, and Virgil re-meeting Remus and becoming friends. It's sweet to hear him talk about the others in such a positive voice, unlike the one he uses now. I knew Deceit wasn't bad!

I get to the part I've been dreading reading, but I really want to know.

I'm sitting in an empty dumpster (clean) in our usual meeting spot. My hands are sweaty, I'm hyperventilating, and I'm crying. Just great.

I've been trying to ask Dee out for a few days, and today I'm gonna do it. He doesn't like me, but I don't want to be a creep, so he needs to know I like him.

I can hear footsteps and wipe my face. Dee walks into the alley and knocks on the dumpster.

"V, I know you're in there. What's wrong?"

I stand up, as fresh tears come to my eyes. He doesn't like me.

He hugs me and lets me cry on him, soaking my messy tears into his yellow polo. He looks a lot like his jerk of a cousin, with a grey and black hoodie around his neck, where his cousin has a blue polo and a light grey hoodie. The main difference is the scales, the stuttering, (mostly gone now, but occasionally it reappears), and his way of extending his 'S's. And the compulsive lying. He can't help it, but being here on the Dark Side helps.

I start to mumble out about not being good enough, being a disorder, and not being worthy of his friendship, and before I could stop him, he rolls up my sleeve, looking at the fresh red, and the old scars.

"It's ok, I k-know you don't like me, you don't have to pretend anymore that we're f-f-friends, I'm sorry, I d-don't deserve you, I just wish I could go away, you d-don't have to be my friend, it's ok."

He grabs my face and says "I don't wanna be your f-friend any m-more Virgil" Oh god. That hurt. I sob harder, and he rushes his words out. "I wan- wanna be your b-boyfriend."

I'm crying even harder, and he gently lifts my face to his, scanning my eyes for permission, before he kisses me. I melt and kiss him back.

Sometimes, dreams do come true.

Well, now I'm heartbroken. They had the moment I'd been hoping to have with Virgil. They had the thing I want, and it burns.

Something must have gone wrong. Something that could've made Deceit angry.

I flip through pages, ignoring the ones where their relationship was going great because those hurt. One here. This one had tear stains.

Dee, (as I call him now) is standing in the corner of his room, tears streaking down his face.

I run to him, full of concern for the man I love, and he just smiles. He pushes a lever on the ground with his foot, and a cage drops around me. I'm so confused.

"D-dee, why? What's wrong?"

"I jussst thought I would give you a little gift, after what happened. You have ruined my life, after all."

"What are you talking about??"

"I never would've gotten hurt if you had jussst kept your pain to yoursssself, and maybe none of this would've just happened if you hadn't tried to connect to the devil! I'm not your friend, and I'm not your boyfriend. Not anymore."

I start crying, confused and hurt.

He grins, walks over, and grabs my chin, staring into my teary eyes. "Sssssso weak."

He walks back, letting go of my chin with enough force to hurt.

Remus pops out of nowhere, and Dee leans over, grabs him, and pulls him into a kiss.

What the ****?? I am... was dating Deceit until about 30 seconds ago. He pulls away and turns to glare directly into my eyes. "Do you like my boyfriend? I felt like I needed an upgrade."

Confused tears keep running down my face. When did my life become this nightmare?? I feel so betrayed. Remus was my best friend. Ever since we played a prank on Deceit.

I saw him eating his deodorant again, and got the idea. We used an old deodorant container and poured white chocolate into it, and when I saw Deceit again, I asked Remus what it was like to eat deodorant, and he tossed the fake to me, and I took a bite. The look on Deceit's face was ador- no.

Remus is laughing like a hyena. I'm almost to the point of sobbing. What happened? Why did he dump me for this octopus? 

WHAT?? Deceit did this?! HOLD ON GUYS, I HAVE A SNAKE TO KILL!

But there are more pages. Maybe they hold the answers. I have to hold back.

I open the next page.

Alright, that's enough. My suitcase is full.

I grab my little Nightmare, and carefully pack him too. We're leaving this Side.

When he dropped the cage on me, I freaked. My wings came out, and I knocked it away. They tried to grab me, and my wings protected me, saving my life. I still don't know what happened, but I do know that I hurt them, the part of me that really is a demon and a curse taking over.

I swear to never use these wings again if that's what it takes.

I swear to never save my life again if it hurts Thomas. 

And now, I'm leaving. I'm leaving my home, my family, and my past, and I'm going to curse an innocent group.

The times I've been up to the Other Side, I've met Morality, Logic, and Creativity.

Morality befriended me, and Creativity and Logic hate me, but anything is better than being stuck here again. So... I'm sorry Mains, I'm coming to crash your party.

I flip to the next page. Is that really what happened? How did I not know he had wings before?

I mean, I have wings!

I wish I could visit his old house and Pheobe. (That'll never get old)

But, what if there's something in here about where he went? I have to keep reading.

They hate me. I can tell. Prince despises me, and I don't blame him. I'm a bad guy!

I'm the one who stops his dreams from happening, I'm the one who keeps him from actually going to parties and making friends, and I'm the one who hurts him.

And he hates me for it.

I hate me for it.

Logic thinks I'm a fool who hates Thomas and wants to cause him pain, but I don't want to hurt him. I just want to keep him out of dangerous and embarrassing situations!

He's gonna get hurt like I did if he trusts people, and I want to keep that from happening. I just want to keep him safe.

Even if it means outweighing the logical or fanciful decision, I'm keeping him safe.

I need him to worry about everything that could happen, so it doesn't.

I need him to think about the dangers as much as possible, and I need him on his toes for the inevitable heartbreak. Because if it happened to me, it'll probably happen to him.

I stare at the page, eyes swimming in tears. It's true. When I saw him, met him, was around him, he was the bad guy in my head. He hurt Thomas. He stopped him from doing something with his life, and that means he stopped me from doing what I wanted. I feel so bad. The way I treated him wasn't fair, or princely, and it must have hurt him. He was just misunderstood.

This is amazing to find out but it doesn't tell me where he could be now.

I flip the pages.

Today, Roman looked at me and said: "You know, maybe you don't hurt Thomas."

That was the closest thing to a compliment he's really said to me.

I looked back at him, ignoring the way his eyes shone in the light.

"Not so bad yourself, Princess."

He grinned, and I swear, this man is going to be the death of me. I can't like him, but at least I can tolerate him. If I ever liked him, I could hurt him. He could just be another Deceit in disguise.

We're not going to hurt each other. No matter what, I'm not letting us hurt each other. Thomas needs him, and I'd never forgive myself if I hurt him.

I could see he was about to say something flirty, maybe something to break my walls down a bit. Not allowed. My walls have saved Thomas a few times already, and I'm not letting Roman say something to take that away.

I stood up abruptly and went to my room. The look in his eyes will haunt me, but it's better than heartbreak.

I backed into my room, now full of stuff that appeared as I started living here. The purple still takes some getting used to, but it's nice and reminds me of my brother. I haven't seen him in forever. I owe him a visit.

I tap the mirror, making sure to state where I want to go, mentally, so I don't show up anywhere near Deceit.

I step through and see my old house. Fear was never a good dad, and now that I have Patton, it's even more clear.

He's just chilling on the sofa, watching horror movies and screaming. When he sees me, he smiles and says "Hey, Virge. Wanna hang out?"

I smiled at him. "Not right now. Where's Pheobe?"

"He's at his new job. Recruitment."

"Cool."

I look at my jacket, reminding myself of the effects of the Portal, and glad that it changes my clothes back. People would think I abandoned them for the 'Light Siders' if I showed up in purple.

I go into my room and climb up the ladder to my old place. I always miss it in The Mind.

I grab my uke, and start playing "Lies, lies, lies."

I hated singing, but Thomas learns better through songs, and I had to get my message across.

The starry floor is relaxing enough that I managed to get a short nap before Phobia came home.

He's wearing a new cape, short with a big hood. His fedora looks great in this light, the rainbow stripe gleaming. I'm glad I got it for him.

He sees me and smiles. "Virge! I know you had to leave, but you could've told us where! I was about to check Calypso's island!"

"What's Calypso's Island?"

"Oh, I just heard there was a runaway side there, doesn't matter. Where have you been?"

I can't respond. He could tell someone, and it could get to Deceit and The Duke, and they could find me. I can't say.

"I can't really say, sorry Pheobe."

Phobia narrowed his eyes at me. "You're somewhere you're not supposed to be, aren't you? I can tell. You have a fear of them finding you." His face shifted, half into an androgynous person, and the rest into a monster. "Fear of other, as usual, fear of hatred, how cute, fear of hurting Thomas... how do you know Thomas?"

I met his stare evenly. "There's a reason I was formed, and that was because Thomas started to feel me. He accidentally called me up there, once or twice."

"Oh, little brother, you're much stronger than I thought you were! I'm proud of you!"

"Why?"

"You're an influencer and a strong one!"

"What?"

"You see, most of us others influence Thomas, just not that much. He has Arachnophobia, so I exist, but I don't influence him strongly enough to completely change his decisions, so I influence him from down here!"

"That makes sense."

"And Virge, you know how you're less... potent than me or Fear?"

"Yes."

"Well, it doesn't matter how powerful you are, you can still help Thomas. And since you're now an influencer, here's some advice."

Ooooook...

"1. Don't hurt him
2. Don't lead him into a situation where he could sound crazy
3. Most importantly, don't talk to the main sides."

"Why?"

"They'll hate you, on instinct, and they'll think you're going to hurt Thomas. They're not used to dealing with well-intentioned 'Dark' sides."

I nodded. He doesn't need to know.

"Thank you, but I need to be on my way. Love you, Bro."

He smiled. "Love you, Virge."

I went out into the front yard and grabbed a white rose. They're so pretty...

I went up to my room, and with a final goodbye to my family, stepped through the portal, and into my new home. 

When I get back, I tuck the rose into a small vase and step out of my room. Patton grins at me "Hey Kiddo! Where've you been?"

I avoid lying as much as possible since it could give him more power. "I was in my room."

Patton smiles again. It's weird how happy he is. How is he happy so much?

"Well Kiddo, time for dinner! Roman and Logan are already down!"

He ignores the slight flush on his face at Logan's name. God, those kids are so oblivious.

I go down to dinner, ignoring the slight warmth of my face at the thought of Roman being there. He's-

No. I realize I'm going through personal information, and however much I want to keep reading, this is Virgil's and I shouldn't be looking through it. I close it and put it back.

What did they mean by the island of Calypso? Time to break those geography books back out, I guess.