"Please! No! Sto-!" I bit into the last member, a cutie pie blond trying to ward me off with the edge of her high heels. She was huddled up in a corner, cradling herself like a toddler. I couldn't help but laugh, hearing her words clog up in her throat, gargling through blood what I assumed were her last words.

I had been at it for almost an hour, keeping these damn kids in line. Seriously! They were nothing but trouble! One of them threw rocks. Another tried to ward me away with a lighter! Honestly, kids these days don't know how to treat their elders!

I road a hand over my mouth, wiping away the blood, only to feel the soft plush of smooth lips beneath my palm. My body was finally solidifying! Granted, I was still... gooey. But, it was progress!

I took in a breath, acknowledging the strange sensation of expansion within my chest. My lungs had been the first thing to manifest, just before the brain. And, with new lungs, came a slightly new voice. Not my usual silky self, but something smooth and deep. It was a little annoying to hear.

By the time I came to, the room around me was in ruins, chaotic and warped. I already had blood on my hands.

A job well done!

I hummed to myself, sitting down as the transformation stretched on. Rubbing at the ink, I made out bits of skin still detached and linked by the webbing of black slime. It was white. Smooth and without blemish. Small, peachy fuzz poked at the tips of my fingers as I road my grimy hand up the inner layer of my forming thigh.

"Hey! I'm a male!" I smiled to myself, looking over my chest and hips to admire the nakedness of it all.

Well, that wouldn't do.

I stood up, reflexively trying to dust off the black gunk that clung to me. But, it didn't budge. Instead, it slid easily under my palm as though a layer of skin. Which, in a way, it would be. Not yet, but within an hour, yes.

I scanned the room, tapping my newly formed finger against the tip of my chin. My steps weren't quite as squishy as before, making my approach soft with the tapping of soles. I sauntered up to a body, the younger a handsome brunette with pale skin and round fingernails.

He wore a plain, white collared button up, paired with black slacks and a brown leather belt. Peering down at my own design, broadened chest and the strong outlining of arms, I compared our measurements. We were about the same.

"Well, pal! For my first decision as a human, I'll be stealing your look!" I snapped my fingers, intent on transferring his clothes to my body. There was a pause, the echo of my snap bouncing off the wall. He was still clothed. I was still... not. Confusion came over me, my gaze shifting to my hand. It only took a moment for me to realize the problem.

"Oh! Of course!" I slapped my hands together, good humor evident in my laugh. My body would be the first to come. It was still forming. Humans were simple and easy and not at all complicated to create. But, my power was something else. It was complex. Intricate. It would take time for my ability of warping time and space to come back to me. I'd give it 'til the end of the summer.

In the meantime, I would still have pyrotechnics and dream invasions on my side. Humans can do that, right? Not as well as I can, of course. But a little. There had been a few 'exceptional' beings among the boring, brick-brained fleshlings in my time. I just had to tap into my skill to reach it with this vessel.

Later. I'd test it out later. But right now I needed to get this guy's pants off.

They slid on easily enough, the smooth hug of polyester against newly formed skin a type of pleasure I wasn't used to. It was cozy! I looked at my hands, the light patches of skin linking together and spreading over my surface. Soon, I was covered in it. A soft, fleshy layer of cells and tissue and nerve endings. I road my hand over my face, kneading the hard poke of bone that rounded and sharpened my cheeks.

'Ooh~ Very nice!'

I slid my hand to my chin, pinching at the base of a strong jawline. No facial hair, sadly. Too bad. I would have loved stroking a goatee while contemplating evil plans and watching my enemies from the shadowed corner of the room. But, I suppose I could settle for nefariously stroking a cat seated on my lap in a swivel chair.

My hand rose to comb through the separating fibers that would soon become hair. I plucked at a piece, fully formed and straight between my fingers: Blond. How fitting! I let out a sigh of satisfaction, rolling the strand between my fingers before letting it float to the floor. I paused, looking at the body before me with smug derision.

"I'm amazing." I said simply. And, I was. Smart. Cunning. Powerful. Obviously very handsome! And, without even lifting a finger, I was able to trick these fleshlings into bringing me back! It was almost too much! Soon, I'd have my power back. Soon, I'd get revenge on this town. Soon, that damned Pines' family would get what was coming to them.

Soon.

For now, let's just see what I'm working with. I slid my hand into my pant's right pocket. I felt metal, pulling it out to see a line of carved out silver teeth. Car keys!

"O-ho-ho! Looks like someone's going for a joyride in your car! Hope you don't mind!" I looked down at the body, blood sliding down the corner of his mouth and making a dripping noise, as though to respond. I chuckled, looking back at the keys in my hand.

"I owe you one, pal!" My tone was smug, right eye going to wink at him. But, it didn't. My fingers rose to feel at the lid of my eye, collapsed in and jammed with some kind of lead. My nails gripped at it, slowly sliding the piece out with a slimy pull. Once it was out, I held the piece in front of me to get a better view. A bullet. Someone must have gotten a little trigger happy back there and shot my eye out. And I had been looking forward to depth perception, too!

"... Damn it." I pouted for a moment, only to break out with a grin. "Well, joke's on you, friend. Pirates are in this season." I'm sure a place as classily weird as Gravity Falls would have eye patches in stock year round! And, with this form, it'll look nothing short of dapper!

I shoved the keys back into my pocket, checking my left side next. Another set of keys, labeled at the base as 'C-618'. "And, what do we have here?" I purred, only to let out a gasp.

"Your room keys?! Moving a bit fast, aren't you?" I cocked a brow at the body, motionless. My shoulders relaxed, letting out a sigh as I feigned modesty. "Well, I'm not usually so forward... but if you insist."

I twirled the key around my finger, watching the metallic gold twinkle against small rays of sunlight. I'd have to get moving soon.

"Woops! Would you look at that? Daybreak!" I put the key back in my pocket, fishing out the car's keys instead. "I'd love to stay and chit chat, but I've got a busy day ahead of me. Hope you don't mind if I steal all your cash, hijack your phone, and leave you to rot!" A fly buzzed onto the boy's lower lip, rubbing its back legs together before buzzing away.

"Ashes to ashes, my friend." I clicked my tongue at him, pointing my fingers with a gun motion before turning away. I couldn't seem to keep myself from whistling all the way to the car, even going so far as to give a little heel click in smug cockiness. I was going to win this time. I was definitely going to win.

And kill those Pines.

The car door opened with a beep, swinging outwards for me to slide in.

"Ha! Haven't ridden one of these bad boys since ol' Sixer!" I patted my hand against the leather wheel, liking that bit of firmness it gave off. Humans were simple, and everything humans did was simple. It wouldn't take too long for the driving basics to come back to me. In the meantime, I leaned over to the passenger's seat, peering at the contents inside. Maybe they had some kind of weapon I could entertain myself with.

"Let's see... Gum, receipts, candy wrappers, eye liner, napkins, joints, lighters, magazines... God, these kids were lame. Even Pine Tree'd have a Swiss Army Knife or something on him!" I began to close the compartment, only for something to catch my eye.

A white box, wrapped in plastic and unopened.

"Oh?" I reopened it, reaching my hand in to grab it. It was a small thing, lying in my palm with the simple print of a camel on the front. I held it to my ear, shaking it softly to hear the collective shuffle of rolled up paper sticks jostling around. I pulled it away, turning it around curiously for a moment, only to shrug my shoulders and rip the plastic away.

Hey, what's theirs is mine, right?

The box's top popped open, exposing straight rolls with unburnt butts and orange ends. Cigarettes.

"Whoa! Cancer seeds! Don't mind if I do!" I smirked, sliding one out between slender, pale fingertips. It was sturdy, thick and tightly wound with paper, yet felt grainy when pressed and rolled between my middle and index. I tapped it against my lip, sniffing the strong fragrance of dried tobacco and the subtle nip of nicotine. It slid between my lips, tongue wiggling it around with a sort of self satisfaction. All that was left was a lighter.

Taking my thumb and index, I squeezed them around the tip, tapping into that bit of 'amazingness' humans could do if they used more of their brain. What a joke. The cigarette was lit without effort, a stream of smoke lifting to cloud the car's roof. It was fun having a body! Most of the time, I rummage through the silverware and rough it up a bit before giving it back. It was an amazing stimulus!

But now, having a body that really was mine, I could do whatever I wanted with it! No return policy! I shut my eyes, leaning back on the chair as my newly formed muscles flexed. My throat closed up a bit against the smoke, but I kept going at it. I could just feel my new organs strain against the intrusion, and my blood pressure rose instantaneously. Above all, I loved the heavy smoke I puffed out.

I imagined that was what a burning pine tree looked like.