☾ ☽

"okay, now... a daisy." eliza's eyes glistened in excitement. dan sighed dramatically before hovering his hand over the pillow, watching as a white and yellow flower bloomed.

"eliza, leave him alone." phil emerged from the kitchen, holding three mugs (somehow), and dan's face instantly brightened. my hero.

eliza whined, leaning back and pouting.

"we were having fun-!"

phil gave her a pointed look.

dan's... powers... had been increasing. now he could do it without actually touching the object if he tried, and he could control the kind of flower he grew without having to have that particular emotion. but when he wasn't trying, the flowers always went back to roses.

odd.

phil handed him a mug, passing the other to eliza.

"don't worry dan, yours is just hot chocolate."

dan blinked, glancing between them, the realization hitting him. "wait, yours aren't?"

phil shook his head. "ours have booze in them." he laughed. "it was liza's idea."

dan frowned, an emotion he didn't like much washing over him. something like jealousy... he pouted.

"i want some."

phil raised his eyebrows, taking a sip of his own drink.

"you do?"

"yes." dan crossed his arms. "i can take it. i'm not five."

"no, but you are nineteen..." eliza said, meeting phil's eyes. they shared a look, and she shrugged. "i mean, we're both legal. we can look after him."

"not that you need it," phil added quickly, turning to dan. "but... yeah, i guess so."

he started for the kitchen, and when he returned he was holding a little bottle in his hand. he took dan's mug, carefully adding some to it.

"there." he sat next to him, linking pinkies with him. "happy?"

dan pulled his hand away pointedly. "yes." he took a sip. it burned a bit as it went down but then it rested in his stomach, spreading a sort of warmth through him. it was weird. "very."

"good." phil swallowed some of his, his eyes searching dan's face.

"this is bound to be interesting," eliza muttered, tucking some hair behind her ear.

dan stuck his tongue out at her.

➸

it turns out, dan just got fuzzy. fuzzy, as in he felt warm on the inside, his head felt like it was made of clouds, he couldn't get this small smile off his face, and he was all over phil.

ten minutes in, dan was leaning on him. twenty, and he was climbing into his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck. phil laughed softly, and dan felt and heard the chuckle against his ear. he shivered.

"guess you're a lightweight, huh?"

he nodded, even though he wasn't quite sure what that meant. but if phil said it, it had to be true. phil knew everything.

"oh cool, eliza third wheels again," she said from phil's other couch, but her voice was lighthearted, so dan knew she didn't mind. he shifted in phil's lap, hiding his face against his neck.

"i really, really like you," he breathed, so softly that only phil could hear him. he felt fingers on his face, grabbing his chin, and he was dragged towards phil's mouth, and they were kissing.

he heard something from eliza, but he couldn't tell what it was, nor did he care. he bunched his fingers in phil's shirt, clinging to him. he felt phil's hand in his hair, tugging gently.

phil was the one to pull back, his face flushed and his eyes shining, glazed over.

"maybe we should get some privacy," he mumbled, biting his swollen bottom lip.

dan's eyes widened, half hoping and half worried that he meant his bedroom, but when he nodded, phil led him towards the front door.

"we'll be back," he called to eliza, taking dan's hand, and she mumbled something about condoms before the door was closed. dan blushed.

they were going to the roof, dan determined a moment later. phil was taking him to the roof.

phil made him climb the ladder first, so he could stand below and make sure he didn't fall, and dan's heart swelled. he was so fond of that boy...

when he got to the top, he waited for phil. phil helped him sit on the edge, holding his hand tightly so as to keep him safe. dan felt safe.

they sat in silence for a few minutes. the sun was just setting, yet again; eliza had come over only a few hours before but she had brought pizza, so they had allowed the late visit.

"did you ever know your mother?" phil asked suddenly, breaking the silence. dan turned to look at him.

"kind of," he said finally, a breeze of melancholy hitting him, but it felt like a tidal wave. "when i was young. why?"

"was she nice?" phil finally looked at him, watching him intently. dan blinked.

"i suppose so," he mumbled thoughtfully. "why?"

phil smiled, but it was a tight and sad smile. he sighed, pausing for a moment before speaking again.

"i got a call a few days ago. my parents are splitting up. she's moving really far away from my home..."

dan's breath caught. he didn't quite know what that meant, but it didn't sound good. "what do you mean?"

"they're getting a divorce." phil squeezed his hand. "means they don't love each other anymore. or maybe they never did." he shook his head, his lip trembling. "they just hid it so well..."

"well, maybe having children will do that to you," dan said softly, not sure if he was stepping out of line or not. it wasn't like he had any experience, but he wanted to help. "maybe... m-maybe having someone to protect will make you hide those details about yourself. it'll make you want to do anything to protect their feelings at the expense of your own."

dan frowned, concentrating. he could feel phil's eyes on him, piercing his skin in the gentlest way possible.

"i think you're right," he said finally, his voice breaking. dan looked at him.

"you do?"

phil nodded, bringing dan's hand to his lips, kissing him.

"i do." he hummed, pressing his lips to each of dan's fingers in turn. "you know, you're a lot smarter than you think you are."

dan blinked. "i am?"

phil chuckled. "you are. definitely."

phil played with his fingers and dan turned to watch the sun dip under the hills, engulfing their world in darkness. it didn't feel very dark, though. dan looked up at the stars, his vision blurry at the edges, but if anything the sky was even more beautiful when tipsy.

when he looked back down, phil was still looking at him. he looked back, confused.

"why aren't you looking at the sky?" he asked. "it's so pretty..." phil shook his head.

"i'd rather look at you."

the alcohol in their systems was like some kind of filter, it transformed everything cheesy and cliché into beautiful, meaningful poetry, turning dan's stomach into a mess of fireworks and nerves.

"i really like you," he repeated, because he couldn't think of anything else to say. phil sighed.

"you know what's funny?"

"what?"

phil shook his head, some black hair falling in his eyes. "i think i'm falling in love with you."

dan's eyes widened. "that isn't funny."

phil giggled bubbly, beaming at him. "it's pretty funny."

dan shoved him lightly, before leaning on him, resting his head against phil's chest. he felt like he was stealing his body heat, absorbing his warmth.

"i want you," phil mumbled, running his fingers through dan's hair. "far too much."

"what d'you mean?"

phil ran his thumb over his jaw. "i want you to be mine."

dan looked up at him.

"i am yours."

"no, but, i mean officially." phil licked his lips. "i want you to be my boyfriend."

dan's heart nearly exploded, and he nodded eagerly. "i want that too."

"you do?" phil's voice was laced with excitement.

"yes."

phil beamed. "well, then... you're my boyfriend, dan."

dan bit his lip, signing contentedly. a few moments went by before something came to him.

"what if we forget? in the morning, we might not remember..."

phil nodded, thoughtful. his eyes brightened after a minute. "i know..." he dug through his jacket, finding a pen. he took dan's hand.

dan watched him intently as he scribbled something on the back of his hand, leaning over. dan squinted to read it in the dark when he pulled back.

'mine ♡'

dan's heart fluttered and he took the pen, writing the same thing on phil's hand. when he was done he handed him back his pen, pulling him close.

phil played with his hair soothingly, and dan sighed happily.

"m falling in love with you, too," he mumbled after a bit, remembering that he hadn't said it back.

he didn't catch phil's response.