☾ ☽

dan missed his piano the most.

out of all the things that jarvis had clearly gotten rid of the moment dan had left, his piano was the thing that most broke his heart.

it was gone. it was just gone. dan almost couldn't believe it.

dan sighed, staring at phil's white ceiling.

he wanted to, but he couldn't deny that he had partly wanted to go back to see. see if jarvis was waiting for him. and of course he had known he wasn't on a business trip; he had been visiting the past few days to water his flowers out front. he had sort of wanted to get caught.

it was stupid, but dan had still kept hope in his heart that jarvis would take him back in. after all, jarvis was just about all dan had had as a parent for years.

but he had already cleared out dan's room. and the piano.

dan ran his hands over his face, tugging at his hair. he couldn't sleep, no matter how hard he tried.

he rolled over, his eyes landing on phil's door. it was closed.

dan wondered what his art was actually like. he had never seen it, he didn't want to go into phil's room without asking, that would be rude. but curiosity gnawed at him. it wasn't like phil had to know...

dan licked his lips, rolling over again to face the back of the couch.

it was no big deal. he would just take a peek the next day, while phil was out.

with that thought and just a tiny bit of guilt residing in his stomach, dan fell asleep.

➸

the second the door closed behind the raven haired man, dan was on his feet.

he was very tempted to take off the metal boots, but he decided not to take that risk. later, he would go to the park or something. let himself relax. for now, he had a mission.

as dan approached phil's door, luna bounded out, rubbing up against dan's leg.

"hey, princess," dan whispered, crouching down to give her a generous pat on the head. she purred her approval.

dan scooped her up, holding her against his chest. she mewed loudly, licking his chin. he giggled.

"i need you," he muttered, scratching behind her black ear. "for moral support."

the door was already slightly cracked open, so dan only had to push a bit for it to swing open wide.

and then he was in.

phil's room was exactly what dan had expected, but better. soft green walls, shelves stuffed with books and tiny plants, terrariums in every corner. dan smiled to himself. it was incredibly messy.

but there was also art.

on every wall, propped up on every surface, a different painting or sketch.

they were all drowning in color, but it wasn't oversaturated or too extreme. it was just enough. and they were all plants.

he had a few of trees; swaying palm trees on the beach, snowy pines; but mostly, they were flowers. a girl holding a bouquet of roses, a garden scenery, a lily sitting on a park bench. and they were absolutely incredible.

dan practically gasped out loud, letting the cat slip from his arms. she landed gracefully, sprinting out of the room.

dan let his eyes pass over the room, taking in everything. the way phil painted- it made you want to study it for hours, taking in every tiny detail. it was so different and more complex than anything dan had seen. better than anything in jarvis's hallway, for sure. and it did make him feel something.

he stepped forward, careful not to crush anything under his feet. he approached the painting that most peaked his interest, the half done one on an easel. it sat in the corner of the room, patiently waiting to be finished.

it looked to be a rose bush, the flowers themselves blood red and huge. as dan got closer, he could see that they were dying. every petal was wilted, a few were even ripped up, as if something had purposefully destroyed them. something heavy rested in dan's chest.

he reached out impulsively, his fingertips barely brushing the surface of the canvas. he immediately jumped back.

a tiny rose sprouted from the cloth paper, pushing its way through the threads. dan stared at his hand.

it had been ages since this had happened. it used to be that when he was younger and he would deny himself walking without the shoes, if he felt an extreme emotion, the flowers could come out through his fingers, or anywhere they could find to escape.

he remembered standing in front of his mirror once, daisies growing from his lips. he had screamed, and cried from fright, and that's when his mother had taught him to pace himself, control his blessing.

honestly it felt more like a curse, but dan didn't have any time to think about that. he was preoccupied by the tiny blood red rose growing out of phil's painting.

panic filled dan's heart, and he clenched his jaw. how was he supposed to hide this, no matter what he did, phil would know he had gone into his room. without asking. what was he thinking?

he reached out, his fingers brushing the soft petals, but before he could pick the flower from phil's work, a deep pain rose in his stomach. dan stepped back.

he knew that feeling. and it wasn't good.

he clutched at his stomach, his heart thumping in his chest like a drum. the pain felt almost toxic, a deep stinging and aching as if he had been punched in the stomach.

he backed out of the room, stumbling to the couch. he groaned, burying his face in a pillow. he felt luna nuzzling against him, but he didn't acknowledge her. the pain was overwhelming.

jarvis.

he knew. jarvis was killing his flowers. getting rid of them just like he had to dan's piano. just like he had to dan.

dan's head spun, and his cheeks were suddenly wet from tears. he was so stupid. it wasn't like he actually had any family.

why did you leave me?

he could see their faces clearly in his mind. they were so happy.

what had he done? what had he done to make them disappear like that?

i thought you loved me.

dan stayed there, on the couch, tears flowing down his cheeks, until phil got home.

he didn't hear him at first, too stuck in his head, until something touched his shoulder. he jumped, opening his swollen eyes to see phil's worried face.

"are you alright?" he asked timidly. "shit, did something happen while i was gone?"

dan hesitantly shook his head, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes.

"i'm fine," he muttered, his voice scratched and broken. he sounded like a record that had been played far too much. "n-nothing happened."

he managed to flash phil a smile, but the burning pain in his chest was still there, so it probably looked strained. phil frowned, clearly not convinced.

something washed over dan, an emotion he couldn't even explain. determination?

"i want to get a job," he blurted, and everything clicked into place. it would be good for him to get a job, he could help pay the rent and even move out and stop bothering phil and ruining his art.

phil smiled warmly at him. "great!"

he looked almost excited for dan, genuinely happy at the idea, and admiration swelled in dan's heart.

he just hoped phil wouldn't hate him as soon as his secret was revealed.

because all good things have to end, and secrets are made to be discovered.