☾ ☽

things were going well for dan.

he felt happy, for the first time in awhile, and he felt like he had someone to rely on; a roommate and a friend.

phil.

his 'job' was going well, he hadn't gotten caught since that little girl he had given a daisy to, so naturally, his hopes were high.

so, naturally, that was where it started to go downhill.

it began on a hot friday, one of those days where it was humid and foggy, but that didn't keep the sun from frying you. and dan hated it.

even though he disliked the weather considerably, he didn't let it bring him down.

in a yellow tube top and overalls, he nearly ran to the alley where he kept his things. he was looking forward to being done for the weekend- eliza had invited them to go to her house and play with her new puppy. like adults.

but it wasn't there.

dan frowned, staring at the spot behind the bike racks that usually hid his black duffel bag.

no worries. someone had probably just moved it.

but as dan searched the area, his panic gradually increasing, it became more and more clear that this was not the answer. which left only one other explanation.

someone had stolen it.

dan paced the alley, his metal shoes clunking with every step. he tugged at his hair, pondering who in the world would want to steal a fold out table and flowers.

he gasped softly for breath, biting down on his bottom lip until it was white.

"god," he breathed. "god!"

he took off running, ignoring the hellish pain in his feet every time they hit the pavement.

he couldn't go to rainy days, not yet. phil would surely find something suspicious about dan leaving his job ten minutes after arriving.

he would go to the flat. he had a spare key; phil had gotten it for him a few days before with a grin and a blush.

he caught a taxi.

by the time he got there, his good mood was entirely drained.

what was he supposed to do? he wasn't too worried about the table, or the small box he used to keep his money in- it was the flowers.

dan unlocked the door, slamming it behind him and sinking down the wood to the floor.

they were gone. and there were lots. dan had taken to growing more whenever he felt strong enough, and he had gotten up quite a collection.

he would have to re do all of them. that would surely kill him!

luna hopped into his lap, and he gently shoved her away. he let out a sob, resting his face in his hands. he bit back tears.

he couldn't keep doing this forever. he knew that. he was already so damn drained from this, just from paying the rent. but he would feel so bad if he couldn't, if he didn't have a purpose.

if he didn't have a purpose.

it occurred to him that his powers really didn't have a purpose, wouldn't have one if he couldn't even use them to pay the bills.

what was he then, worthless? a coincidence? just a freak of nature?

dan gave up on not crying, letting tears stream down his cheeks to his slightly tanned and freckled arms.

it had been so long since he had had actual parents, so he had forgotten the exact feeling, but he realized he really needed a mum right then. he needed a hug, and an it's okay honey. it's all gonna be okay.

but it wasn't. no words could fix that. he was worthless.

in his panic and sadness, he pushed himself off the floor.

he ran to his new room and collapsed on the bed. well, not quite a bed, but it was sure as hell good enough for him. phil had helped him choose all the decorations, and had insisted on paying for them.

it was a kind of bland room still, but so far, he had some shelves harboring houseplants and books, just like phil's room. his bed was only a mattress and a duvet, but still much more comfortable than the couch.

luna mewed, following him in and rubbing against his back.

no. no, he wasn't going down like this. there had to be some kind of way he could use his abilities to hold himself up.

his upset emotions replaced with determination, he forced himself to get up yet again. he looked around the room.

"too small," he said to himself, to fill the silence, touching his chin. his room was too small for what he wanted to do. he needed big.

he went back out to the living room. yes. perfect.

slowly, and with shaking hands, he reached down to unbuckle his shoes.

they slipped off with a bit of effort; they were far too small for him now. luckily his feet hadn't grown that much.

taking a deep breath, he took a step.

it felt good, to walk on a carpet again, even through knee high black socks. he almost sighed in relief. luna curled herself around his feet happily, loving the soft surface replacing the usual rough metal.

dan laughed breathily, leaning over to pet her and then hesitating before stripping off his socks as well.

his feet were not pretty. dotted with bruises and quite a few blisters, they weren't what dan would call particularly nice. but it didn't matter.

he took another step, and another, and soon enough he was spinning around the apartment floor, and the music was back, entire symphonies playing in his head. and, oh god, he was home again.

violets transformed into sunflowers to poppy's, all of his emotions concentrated into the flowers he left behind, bigger and more vibrant than ever.

he laughed again, looking over what he had done. rows and rows of flowers, his own person garden inside phil's home. his home, kind of.

and then his smile dropped, and he remembered what had to happen next.

dan fell to his knees in front of the first row of flowers, his heart thumping in his chest. his fingertips brushed over a delicate blue petal.

he steeled himself for a second, and then grabbed the stem, yanking suddenly.

he gasped, sharp pain coursing through him. he bit his lip, picking another, and another and another.

he was going too fast, he felt dizzy already, but he just wanted to get it over with. and it was so loud, blood and piano music roaring in his ears, it was too much.

another. fuck. another.

soon he was halfway through the flowers, piling up next to him. and then he heard footsteps up the stairs.

it could have been someone else. phil's apartment building was pretty much full with occupants. but somewhere in dan's heart and stomach he knew it was phil.

he jumped up, and then he heard voices.

"he'll love it." a girl's voice, a voice dan recognized as eliza's. "i've got to be honest, you're being a really good roommate, phil. i didn't know you had it in you."

dan was frozen. all he could feel was physical pain, and the adrenaline pulsing through him. it was too much.

phil chuckled. "yeah, well. i haven't had someone to share a house with for awhile. it's nice, and i don't want to screw it up."

dan panicked, the voices were getting closer... and he did the only thing there was to do.

he grabbed his pile of flowers, running to his room and throwing them in. then he hurriedly got his boots back on, and began stomping on every last sprout of growth.

the voices stopped for a second, and there was a jangling noise at the door.

"huh," phil said, his voice betraying his confusion. "it's open already."

the doorknob turned just as dan killed the very last flower, and swung open to reveal a surprised looking phil and eliza, holding a huge bag.

"i-" dan stuttered, his breath catching, attempting to say anything that might explain what was going on. a wave of nausea and dizziness washed over him, and he grabbed for the couch to keep steady.

"dan?!" phil frowned, and he suddenly looked incredibly worried. "are you-"

dan didn't catch the rest of his sentence, blacking out.