I have the fear of not being good enough. Isn't that every has?

I'm afraid that I won't get a good grade. I HAVE to get an A+ very test I get it I get very Avery. I blame myself. If I get a single question wrong or make a stupid mistake it makes me want to curse and break something. Though I keep those thoughts to myself. I hate that I feel that way.

I hate that I don't do anything. I'm a Christian but I feel too evil to read the Bible. I have that I don't do it. My introduce thoughts tell me to slam my head artist my desk. I don't.

I hare that I have no motivation. I can't get anything done. In not happy. In stressing over my essay, because I don't think its good, but I do nothing to change it. I have that I do nothing. I'm nkyvlrosuctice at all. J do nltbinh because I have too much to do. I have myself so much. I makes me want to hot my head Dgis t a wall.

I am I like this way? I hate being reprtivtovr. I hate having the same thoughts. Nothing works. My therapist most gate me. We tskk about the same thing. Nothing changes. YOU SUCK!

...

Tears fall down my face. They roll down to the left, getting soaked up by my bedsheets.

Why does nothing help? That is the question that I need to ask her. I've always thought I needed an accountable person. I need someone to help me. But no one can.