Erwin's POV

"Erwin speaking." I flipped open my phone and spoke, not bothering to check who it was. I would talk to anyone to get out of doing this paperwork.

"Hrrghhh lllnnnnn gggguuuuhhhwwww"

"Um.... Hello?" I raised my gigantic eyebrows as the onslaught of revolting noises subsided, replaced with an incredibly done sounding Levi,

"I. Feel. Like. Shit." Morning sickness again?? Jeez, this is a monstrous baby.

"The baby again? The fact that this is becoming more frequent must mean it's pretty close. Just think of that, Levi."

"When it gets here I'm gonna beat it's tiny- Eren!!! You're here!! ...I wasn't saying anything! I was just-"

The line cut off and I shook my head, a smile on my face as I looked out my open window. I ship it so hard.

I twirled my chair towards my desk and started the work I was procrastinating, oblivious to the figure standing right beside my window, listening the entire time.

-2 Days Earlier-

Levi's POV

"UNO! UNO!!!!" Eren screamed, flicking his middle finger up with one hand and slamming the red 5 on the pile.

"Baby, you really don't have to do that every time." I rolled my eyes, playing my own card, which made him draw five.

He made an over exaggerated sigh and stuck his tongue out at me from over his cards.

"Don't tempt me with that tongue of yours. It won't help you win." I was immediately overcome with a familiar burning feeling in my throat and my face conveyed my pain.

"Levi? What's wrong??" Eren questioned, way too worried and at my side in an instant.

"Don't be such a drama queen. I'm just freaking thirsty." I explained, moving to get up before plopping back down halfway through. This baby better be real cute.

"NOT A PROBLEM! DADDY IS ON IT!" I was shaking my head before he even finished, motioning for him to sit his butt down.

"No, it's fine. Let's just finish the-"

"Sssshhhhh. Sssshhhhh." I stared at him, his finger on my lips.  "Ssshhhhhhh."

"Eren-"

"SHHHHH!!! I am going to do this for you. You just sit there, anddddddd I'llberightback!!!"

And then he was gone. Leaving me sitting alone at the table in the quiet house.

Eren's POV

I set out on my journey to murder someone for my hubby. I stopped. Wait.... Am I a horrible person for doing this stuff?

.........

Nah!! I continued on my way, my earbuds blasting "Boy in Luv" by BTS.

Let's seeeeeee.... Where to? I needed a place that was pretty desolate so there aren't very many witnesses... I gasped. Russia!!!

It took me about five minutes to get there, but only two and a half to leave when I realized it is way too freaking cold there.

Well I've always wanted to visit Paris... Decided. I'm going to see the leaning tower of pizza. Oh wait, that's Italy. Eiffel Tower it is!! 

Upon arrival I just stood there stunned, completely blown away. It was so beautiful. Tan bricks stacked one on another forming architecture masterpieces that normal people actually lived in, lining cobblestoned streets filled with citizens bustling about, streaming in and out of cute petite shops with frosted, baked, and grilled delicacies as well as the latest fashion. Dog's barking and heavy accents blended together to create a sweet symphony of French.

Do dogs bark in French? Do they eat... Barkguettes?

(A/N- ^^done with myself omg)

Instead of my usual accelerated speed, I chose to stroll slowly around the city, drinking in the sights and sounds.

I almost got carried away with all the stores, but I remembered Levi's intense thirst and chose to instead look for suitable targets.

There were a lot of people, meaning a lot of curious eyes. I would have to go to a less populated part of Paris. Searching for the ideal place, I was distracted yet again- this time by the glorious Eiffel Tower. 

It was incredibly tall, and just as spectacular as I imagined it would be. I threw caution to the wind and decided I didn't give a shit if it was probably the most inhabited part of the City, I was going there.

I approached the structure, scanning the crowd for someone who looked pretty depressed.

A guy who looked about in his very early twenties was leaning against the tower, lacking any expression on his very attractive face. If anything he was glaring at everyone from under his red hair and non-existent eyebrows. Bingo!

I flipped my hair, unbuttoned a few buttons on my shirt and set a confident smirk on my face, starting to strut over.

Stopping right in front of him and leaning a little more to one side, accentuating my slim waist, I started with a simple but effective "Hey."

He looked me up and down and said nothing, obviously wanting me to leave right away. No problem, I was usually the most talkative in the room anyway.

"Sorry to bother you... I just noticed the symbol on your forehead... It's really cool." I informed him, forcing a blush on my cheeks and averting my eyes to the ground, glancing up once to see that he, too had adopted a blush on his face as red as his hair.

"O-Oh... Thanks."

"Of course~ What's it mean?"

His cheeks darkened as he grew more embarrassed with his answer, "Love.."

"That's beautiful. You know, I would love to learn more about you in that uninhabited cafe over there~"

"I guess I c-"

Ring ring. Ring ring. RING RING. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

I cursed and answered the unfortunate call, excusing myself with a "One second" before greeting,

"Hello??"

"Eren."

"Levi? What are you- are you okay? Did you die of thirst??!!"

"No, babe. I called to tell you-"

"Did he just call you babe?" The target asked, a look of pure rage taking over his face and I hung up, cutting Levi off.

"Whaaaaa? Nooooo!" I denied, waving my hand before clenching it as his foot rammed into my crotch, which hurt nothing but my pride.

He pushed past me and swaggered away, leaving me frustrated. I was so close!!! If that call hadn't have come... I yelled out in anger and kicked the tower with all my strength.

Fuming, I began stomping away in search of another victim before halting in shock as I heard a sickening squeal from the metal structure behind me.

A multitude of gasps left the mouths of the surrounding people as I gradually turned towards the noise, and my eyes widened as I saw the supports anchoring it to the ground pop up, leaving the famous, age old Eiffel Tower to begin its deadly descent to the ground.

Screams mingled with shouts of panic as the population of Paris' attention was drawn to their landmark falling on it's side. Everyone scrambled to get to safety and I followed suit, flashing to the roof of a nearby hotel.

In a deafening onslaught of noise, the incredible building began crushing others with its massive weight, causing roofs to crumble, windows to break, and a shower of rubble to rain down on the surrounding streets.

Knowing my rage-filled kick made the freaking Eiffel Tower break, I got out of there as quick as I could, not stopping until I was thousands of miles away from the frantic city.

I took a full five minutes to comprehend what I just did, then, checking my phone, I was relieved to see that no one was injured or killed.

Wanting to put the entire experience behind me and swearing never to tell a soul as long as I lived- lived?-, I gazed around, taking in my surroundings.

It seemed I was at the edge of a huge, white mountain. Hearing the scrabbling of people walking on rocks, I turned to see a group talking and shooting pictures, so I asked,

"Hey, where am I?" They looked at me like I was insane before answering,

"Mount Rushmore..... Do you need me to call someone? A doctor...?"

"Nono that's fine. I'm fine." I replied, grinning and turning my gaze upwards to see the faces of past presidents looking out into the distance. So coooooooool!! I snapped a selfie before speeding up to the very top, so I was standing atop Abe's head, following their eyes to take in the scenery.

"Ahem." My butt found the ground in .2 seconds and I screeched as a voice came out of nowhere. I looked up, left, right, and down looking for the source, but found none.

"Is that you, God? If it is, I'm suuuuuper sorry...." I apologized, getting on my knees and bowing.

"Behind you." The voice came again and I spun around in terror to see a real short guy with yellow-gold hair tied up in a pony tail with gorgeous gold eyes.

"Oh!!! I'm sorry I thought I was the only one up here, but I guess it's just you and I." I admitted before stopping short. It's just him and I. A evil grin crept on my face. Perfect.

"Yep. Now do you mind moving? I'm kinda trying to paint." He told me, gesturing to the easel and canvas set up in front of him.

"No problem!" I said, strolling over to stand beside him and stare out over the mount. "I can see why you would paint this, it's an incredible view."

"Yeah, I'm lucky I found it." He stayed silent then, continuing to stare at his easel as I thought of when I was gonna make my move.

"..."

"..."

"...so are you going to paint on the canvas or just, you know, look at it?"

"I don't think I have the best vantage point right here. I was going to move over some before you just appeared, for your information." He flipped his ponytail at me contemptuously.

"That makes se- Oh!!" I cut myself off as I noticed he was missing an arm. How sad!!! I hope that wasn't his dominant hand. Then, I also noticed a collection of paint buckets arranged haphazardly around him and I saw a reason to stay longer. "Let me help you out with these!"

"You really don't have to- okay." He stopped as I had already hoisted up five containers. Having given up, he began dragging his easel towards a spot he deemed perfect.

I followed after him, wondering how close he was going to get to the edge. We were practically hanging over it. As I shuffled forward, I began to vibrate. ....well, my phone did.

It wasn't a call, but rather text after text demanding my attention. Whoever was texting me needed me right. Away.

I shifted all five cans into a tower balancing on one hand and fished through my pocket. The tall, heavy stack swayed dangerously over and I aborted my cellular search to try and keep them upright. It was too late. Gravity had won and all five of the artist's paint buckets tipped and fell to their doom over the side of Mount Rushmore, splattering a mixture of blue, red, yellow, purple, and green all over the front of George Washington.

The stranger and I stood fixated to the spot with our mouths hanging open.

"You. Idiot." He whispered, taking a step back and then multiple as he all out fled the scene with his supplies. He was right to do so, as I heard shouts coming from below and calls for the police. So I booked it.

I ran and ran until I was well away from any mountains. I ran until I was all the way back in my own town. Once there I just sat down criss cross applesauce and put my chin on my hands.

I need to stop destroying landmarks. I should probably just go home.... Starting to walk that way, I pulled my disastrous phone out of my pocket to check those messages.

"Eren."
"Eren."
"Eren."
"Eren."
Ten billion times Levi had texted me.

NO! I was not going to give up!!! He was probably dying of thirst and that's why he texted and called!!! I would do this for him!!!

With renewed vigor, I sped into town, determined to draw some blood. I passed by my work and got an idea.

"Oh hey! Decide to work today?" My boss said as I rushed past him into his office.

"You wish." I found what I was looking for: cardboard and a sharpie.

On my way out I scribbled
Homeless and hungry: please help
And traveled a few blocks over to a very familiar, very often used alleyway.

I ruffled my hair and wrinkled up my clothes before plopping down with my sign, doing my best to look needy.

I didn't have to wait long before a small flat chested girl, dressed in a plaid skirt and robe, came up to me, pigtails bobbing.

"Hello! Can I get you anything?" She asked, green eyes filled with compassion.

Instead of answering, I beckoned her closer, and closer, until she was right in front of me, a bit freaked out.

Her neck was inches in front of my mouth, and I was just seconds away from striking. My lips parted, revealing my sharp teeth, and I breathed in her scent, ready to-

RING RING. RING RING. RINNGGGG. RIIIIIIIIIII-

"OH MY FREAKING SHIT!!!!" I yelled, jumping up, throwing my sign aside and flipping my damn phone out of my pocket and screaming,

"WHAT. DO YOU WANT?!!???"

"....well first, I want my hearing back, and second if you would fucking answer my calls and texts, you would know that I found some more to drink in the fridge." Levi said, sounding incredibly annoyed.

"W...? You did...?" I asked, taken aback and dropping my crazed tone.

"Yes."

"You mean I didn't have to go all the way to Paris and Mount Rushmore?!! I didn't have to do all this?!!!"

"You went to Paris and Mount Rushmore? That's funny, I was just watching the news and the Eiffel-" I heard a pause and I could just see his eyes narrowing. "Eren, did you destroy-"

"What? You're- chdjcjskvkf- cutting- fkfidjjfks- out!" I lied quickly, still set on not telling anyone of my involvement. It would always be a secret!!!

"No I'm not. Whatever. .....I'm sorry you had to go through all this trouble today. I really don't like being so helpless. It's not fair to you."

"Huh! Levi I would do anything! I don't mind at all; I enjoy it~" I waved away the very confused girl as I continued speaking, "Besides, I'm kinda the one who tricked you into getting preggers anyway."

"That's true. I'm still pissed about that."

"You are...?" I stopped, puppy face on even though I knew he couldn't see me.

"...j-just get home, you brat!" He spat as I grinned, already on my way.

A/N- ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️