Collins silently puts a new sling in place and guides my arm into it. He plainly refused to remove the cast and scolded me for acting so ruthlessly. I simply absolved the lecture, thinking the guy maybe cares a little too much about his patients. Steve's doctor, Davis, isn't scolding him. Instead, the physician is pleading with him to stay at the hospital for supervision. Steve refuses though and demonstratively changes into regular clothes, ditching the hospital gown. It's good that he's mobile again, even though he's still moving slowly.

I'm stuck with the morning robe since no one returned my jacket to me. I wouldn't mind ditching the robe, but I hate being cold. Maybe I should ask for my jacket?

"Here, you might want this," Wilson says and hands me a sweater.

It's black, comfortable, and a challenge to get into.

"Let me help."

I accept Wilson's help and manage to put on the sweater. I instantly feel better, being covered up and warm. I wait for additional instructions now that they're taking Steve home. I still think it's a mistake; Hydra doubtlessly knows about his apartment and they will be waiting for him. I'm not sure I can keep him safe all the time.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Wilson asks Steve. "Why not opt for Fury's safe house instead?"

Inwardly I applaud him, but I keep quiet. The decision isn't up to me.

"I can't run from Hydra. I have to stand up and face them. You know that."

"At least wait until you're fully healed! Crash at my place for all I care!"

I can tell that Wilson won't succeed in changing Steve's mind. Steve is determined to do this his way.

"No, Sam. Thanks for the offer, but I want to go home."

Steve smiles gently at Sam. "I need him to remember me," Steve explains and then shifts his gaze toward me. "I have a lot of our old stuff at the apartment and I hope it will trigger your memory."

I'm at a loss; what do I say about that? That my memory is a black hole filled with even more black holes with memories falling through and disappearing?

"You shouldn't get your hopes up," I settle for in the end. Yes, I want my memory back, but at the moment I'm thrilled to just be away from Hydra and to be offered a safe haven at Steve's apartment.

"Are we ready to move?"

I expect Fury to collect us, but instead it's that other agent. I struggle to remember his name and cringe at realizing it's gone. I lower my head, draw in a deep breath, and try to stay calm. It's normal for me to forget things, I remind myself. It's a miracle I'm capable of remembering most names.

"What's wrong?"

Steve suddenly appears next to me and instinctively I reach out to steady him as he's still wobbly. Maybe we should get him a wheelchair and wheel him out of the hospital. I doubt he'll go along with it though.

"Buck, what's wrong?"

He's not giving up, so I lower my head and whisper, "I forgot his name. Who is he?"

"His name is Coulson, Phil Coulson," Steve replies in a calm fashion.

"Phil Coulson." I try to memorize the name, but it's already slipping through my fingers. "I'm going to forget it again."

"Then I'll tell you all over again. Don't worry about it."

"Gentlemen, please follow me."

Coulson probably overheard our little talk because he gives me the oddest look ever. Maybe he dislikes the fact that I wrapped my left arm around Steve's shoulder in order to support him? Maybe I should put some distance between us? What if he thinks I'm a threat to Steve? Deciding to play it safe, I step away from Steve, who sways and grabs onto me in turn.

"Stay," Steve tells me. "I don't want to embarrass myself by taking a nosedive."

I avoid looking at Coulson and stare at the floor instead. Once Steve starts to move, I fall into pace with him. Stepping into the corridor, I grow aware of the armed guards, ready to take us... where? The elevator?

"We're going up, gentlemen," Coulson informs us, grinning. "It's good to see you back on your feet, Captain. You had me worried for a moment."

"It's not that easy to keep me down, Phil. Thanks for worrying."

Coulson's smile is almost blinding; Steve really made him happy. I still wonder what Wilson meant with a 'groupie'. A chopper awaits us on the roof and I quickly shoo Steve inside. I don't like this at all. This is the perfect moment for Hydra to make its move. I sit down next to him and quickly remove the sling. Now that Collins can't lecture me, I really want to get rid of it. Steve gives me an admonishing look, but doesn't comment on it. The cast has to go too shortly. I'll wait for a bit more privacy for that.

We take off and I observe the world beneath us. I never was a part of it and don't feel like I belong in it. I feel out of time, out of life, and wonder what the future holds for me.

****************

The moment the chopper touches down, I study the surrounding buildings for possible hide outs for snipers. I am a sniper myself and know what to look for. I used one of those buildings for shelter myself when I took out Fury. I mentally map those locations and will keep an eye on them.

"Bucky, give me a hand, will you?"

Steve asking for my help to get off the chopper pulls me away from my thoughts and I help him onto solid ground. Coulson walks us into the building and precedes us descending the staircase to Steve's apartment. I keep quiet and try to blend in, not drawing any attention to my person. A blond woman stands in the corridor, waiting for us, and she smiles at Steve once she sees him.

"It's good to have you back, Captain."

"Thanks, Sharon. It's good to be back."

And that's about it, he passes her by, and reaches for the door.

"Maybe I should check the apartment first," I suggest softly, not wanting to appear forward, but I would feel better knowing it's safe for him to enter.

"We already checked it out, sergeant Barnes," Coulson says, turning around. "I assure you it's perfectly safe."

I back down, always keeping in mind I'm dealing with a representative of a powerful organization who can do away with me in an instant.

"I trust Phil," Steve informs me. "If something happens to me on his watch, he'll never forgive himself for it."

If Steve believes that, it has to do for me too. Although, I WILL check on the place the first chance I get.

"We even removed the ears," Coulson says. "At the time we thought it was necessary for your safety, but breaching your privacy isn't worth it. The director didn't agree with me at first, but he relented later."

"Thanks, Phil, you're a good friend. Keep an eye on Sam for me, will you?"

I'm surprised that Wilson didn't join us. I don't know if that's Wilson's idea or if Steve suggested it to him. The thought that it will be just the two of us once Coulson is gone worries me. What if I hurt him again? I can't be trusted as I don't trust my own mind to begin with. I'm not suggesting that Wilson stays with us, though. That's not my call to make; I know my place in the grand scheme of things.

"I'm sure Sam will visit shortly. I have to leave now. With director Fury officially out of the picture, most of the formalities fall onto me. I agree with him though; strategically staying dead is an excellent choice. He can accomplish a great deal more by working from the shadows. It was a pleasure assisting you, Captain Rogers. Sergeant Barnes, I'm sure we will meet again."

I watch him climb the stairs and then look at Steve. "What's a groupie?" Unexpectedly Steve bursts out into laughter and I tighten my hold on him, afraid it will make him lose his footing.

"Who told you that?" He continues to chuckle as he uncovers the key to his apartment and unlocks the door.

"Wilson did. He said that Coulson was your groupie." I am on full alert when he opens the door, always expecting an attack. Nothing happens though.

"Phil is a fan of Captain America. He simply respects me a great deal. Let's leave it at that, yes?"

Sure, if that's what he wants. I step into the apartment and let him take the lead. I carefully map the layout of the place and help him sit down on the couch once we reach the living room. What's going to happen now? I look about and wait for instructions.

"Why don't you sit down for a moment?"

I'm fine with that and sit down next to Steve. I study the opposite wall and see some framed newspaper clippings on the wall. There are some pictures as well, but nothing overwhelming. The place feels calm, for which I'm grateful. Peaceful surroundings help me stay calm in turn. The room feels comfortable, although the furniture seems a bit dated. It suits me though. I prefer this to the hospital room any day.

"Do you like it here?"

I nod. It's peaceful, sparsely furnished, and the fact that everything is in plain view helps settle my nerves. "I do."

"I'll show you around in a bit. I just need to catch my breath."

Steve shifts a little closer and reaches for my left hand, curling his fingers around it. The touch helps me calm down.

"I never react well to new surroundings," I explain, "But this might be the exception."

"I have a guestroom you can use. We need to share the bathroom, but I'm sure we'll manage. I'm not good at cooking, and if a dish goes wrong, we can order in."

I listen to him talk and briefly close my eyes. I can't believe this is really happening. Steve squeezes my hand and I open my eyes again, sighing deeply.

"I can't believe this is real," I confess, wanting him to know how much he changed my life for the better. "If Hydra had found me after I failed to execute you, I would be in a great deal of pain by now. They don't accept failure, you see." Steve pulls my hand into his lap and I'm surprised at how easily he touches that metal arm. "They expect me to return to them as quickly as possible. I didn't do that. I took care of you instead."

"Go on," Steve says encouragingly. "You can tell me everything."

I know that. God help me, but I know I can trust him. "I'd be back in cryo right now." Shivers travel down my spine and the cold sneaks up on me again. It permeates my bones and causes me to shiver. "I hate the cold."

"Here, use this." Steve briefly lets go and unfolds a quilt, covering me with it and tucking it around me. "You feel cold to the touch."

It's my mind playing tricks on my body, I know that, but it's hard to push through the manipulation. "I don't know why you want me here. I'm a danger to you. What if the conditioning activates and I try to kill you again?"

"You won't kill me. You might pummel me a bit, but you won't be able to end my life. We both know that after what happened on that helicarrier. I'm confident I can snap you out if it, should it ever happen."

His trust in me is something I don't share. "You can't trust me, you need to remember that."

"I trust you with my life," he says in an emotional tone, which makes me look at him. "You saved my life earlier tonight. How can you possibly think you can kill me?"

I return to staring at the wall. "You don't know me."

"Oh, I DO know you. I know who you are. I know what you're like and I have complete faith in you."

Then he's a fool. I'll make sure to lock my room at night and maybe set up some booby traps to stop me from sneaking into his. I can't take any risks where Steve is involved.

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