I don't mind admitting that I almost quit the job after the funeral. It was way harder than I had expected it to be. For one thing, I'd never lifted anything heavy in my whole life so finding out how heavy a coffin was came as a shock. Not only do you have the dead weight of a person, but you also have to add in the weight of the box which weighs about the same as an empty bookshelf. So if you ever get selected to carry one, first of all I'm very sorry for your loss. Secondly, head to your nearest IKEA and get practicing.

On top of all the physical work though was the real issue. It was so hard to see so many people in pain. I used to get really upset seeing the commercials on TV about people living in poverty but that was nothing compared to seeing this. It sounds insensitive but it was exhausting. I wasn't in a particularly sad mood but I had to pretend to be for all their sakes. I had to pretend to be upset about the dead guy when in reality I had no idea who he was. He could have been a total dick for all I knew but I still had to act like I was grieving too.

I could have easily taken a nap when we got back to Eternal Wings but Tom had other ideas.

"Ok now that the fat man is in the ground, how about we get so drunk that we might be joining him tomorrow?"

"I'll pass guys" Steve said. "The kids are away for the weekend so the wife and I will finally have some peace"

"To get naughty?" Asked Tom.

"To sleep" Steve corrected.

"I'm up for it" Aaron shrugged.

"I think I'll give it a miss too" I said. I explained how drained I was feeling but apparently that wasn't a legitimate reason.

"Quit being such a baby. Trust me you'll feel way better after that first beer. It's what the dead guy would've wanted". I didn't agree with Tom, but I was smart enough to know that he wasn't going to let me get away with bailing, especially since I came across so keen for it the other day. So I had no choice but to tag along. If working in a funeral home was so depressing then I couldn't imagine what a "work's night out" would be like, but it was almost time to find out.

We tidied up and took the next bus into the centre of town. The whole time I just listened to Tom and Aaron argue over everything, from where we should go to drink, to how many people had soiled themselves on the particular bus that we had been on. They were like an old married couple, very annoying but at the same time very entertaining.

Once they'd finally decided, we ended up in one of the city's older bars. It was dimly lit with several miniature lamps dotted about the place, giving the red walls a faint glow. This would be a perfect place for a romantic date but here I was with two other men.

I hated to admit it, but they were right. Drinking definitely filled my happiness meter back up so I figured I'd take the chance to get to know the two guys better.

"How did you meet your fiancé?" I asked Aaron.

"In a club. She was dancing and I decided that she was pretty hot so I just went over and spoke to her. The rest is history" He said in between mouthfuls of beer. God, I wished I could be as cool as that.

"What about you, Tom? Any women in your life?"

"Man, have you seen the size of me? There's too much of me for just one woman. I'm like a wild animal. Spreading joy to all the ladies that want some" He replied, seeming to be more engrossed in his cell phone. I was about to tell him how unlikely I found his story when he almost choked on his drink.

"Are you ok?" I asked him, hoping that I didn't have to bury someone else today.

"Are you an idiot?" He asked me, evidently not dying.

"What? What did I do?"

"You updated your job on Facebook to be Eternal Wings? What the hell is wrong with you?"He shrieked.

"Well it is isn't it? Why wouldn't I? And why are you on my Facebook?" There was so much I wanted to know.

"First of all, I Facebook stalk all of my co-workers. It's a natural human activity, like blinking and shitting" He replied. "You now have a friend request by the way"

"Classy"

"Second, have you ever seen anybody saying that they work at a funeral home?". I shook my head. "Exactly. There's a reason for that. People look at you like you're the grim reaper himself. Never admit to where you work unless you have to"

"He's right for once" Aaron spoke up with a snigger. "It's like we're lepers. To tell someone that you work with dead people is social suicide. It's probably worse than being a politician"

"But what about Vanessa? Surely she knows what you do, and she clearly loves you despite it" I pointed out.

"She does now" He nodded.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Aaron went on to explain that due to his previous experiences with telling people his profession, when they first met he told Vanessa that he worked in banking.

"Why banking?" I laughed.

"Because as soon as you say that you work in banking, nobody wants to know anymore. They stop listening straight away and never ask again" He explained. He told me that he actually managed to stick to his lie for two years! She only found out the truth after she asked him to help her understand her latest bank statement and he totally drew a blank. After a couple of days of getting the silent treatment, she forgave him and continued to never ask him about work.

"It can't be that bad" I said. "People do weird jobs all the time"

"Weird is one thing. But we are another" Aaron told me.

To prove their point, Tom got up and approached a group of women standing at the bar to join us. How was he so able to just talk to girls like that too? More importantly, how did he actually succeed? They joined us and instantly began chatting away. It was obvious that they were attracted to Aaron more than Tom and I but that was to be expected. If we were to be a team on a TV show, I'd be the quiet and smart one, Aaron would be the confident good looking one and Tom would be . . . well, Tom.

Incredibly, things seemed to be going well and I figured that if we kept going the way we were then Tom and I may have left with their phone numbers, maybe Aaron would too. I didn't know what kind of guy he was. But sadly it was not to be as Tom asked them what they did for a living. They all worked together in an office and were on their work's night out.

"What a coincidence!" Gleamed Tom. "We too are on a works night out. Isn't that amazing?"

"It is" Smiled one of the women. "Where is it you work?"

We all shared a look before replying together. It was time.

"We work in a funeral home"

Silence.

For a long, long time.

"Well it's been great talking to you boys, but we better be heading off soon" The same woman replied. Not even Aaron's good looks could salvage this situation.

"See! What did I tell you? We're the black sheep of society" Tom Gloated.

"The only perks this job gives us is that we're already dressed for a night on the town" shrugged Aaron.

I now believed that they were both right.

The rest of the night went by in a blur, and although the alcohol had made me feel better than I had earlier, I felt ten times worse in the morning. I've never been much of a drinker and I probably drank more beer that night than I'd ever consumed before in my life. I vaguely remember being sick and Tom trying to hold my hair for me like I was a female. All he did was hurt me and make me scream whilst I was puking. If you've never done that before then I can assure you that you don't know what pain really is.

Anyway, we were back to watching retro comedy shows on TV at work. Steve was dealing with the families and arranging all of their demands while we lined up their dearly departed to be the next victim of Casket Shuffle (which I still wasn't playing).

But things changed on the Wednesday. This was the day that I saw both the strangest and most disturbing thing of my life. As it turns out, this was nothing compared to what would soon follow but we'll get to that.

We were sitting watching television when Steve came into the room and asked us to follow him. There had been an accident and a 26 year old man had been taken to hospital but sadly died whilst he was there. An autopsy wasn't required and so he was sent from the morgue straight to Eternal Wings at his family's request.

"I need you guys to take care of him ok?" He asked.

"Sure thing Steve" I answered for the group. We carried him in by using a cold metal tray like you see in a coroner's room. Thankfully he was at least in a body bag and not just lying under a sheet like a murder victim. Once in the room, we all stood staring at the lump of humanity.

"Guess we better open him up" Aaron shrugged before unzipping the bag.

To me he looked like any other dead guy would. Cold and unmoving. But Tom seemed to be star struck. Over a dead person.

"Holy shit! Do you guys know who that is?" He gasped.

"Umm" Aaron searched the paperwork. "Angelo Kingston" He read.

"You bet your ass it's him! I went to school with this guy!" Tom cried.

"Aw man I'm so sorry" I said sympathetically, and sincerely.

"Oh don't worry about it, he was an asshole" Tom waved me away. "But he was the best basketball player that the school has ever seen. Nobody could stop him and I'm pretty sure he still has the all time scoring record"

"Explains why you don't like him" Aaron casually shrugged again. I'd tried talking about sports with the two of them the day before but quickly discovered that Tom hated everything to do with sports.

"Man, people are gonna be bummed when they hear he died" He muttered.

"How did he die?" I asked.

"It says here that he got hit by a car" Aaron read. "What a waste"

This was when things got weird.

Tom took out his cell phone and headed towards the body of the sportsman.

"Well I better get my memorial tribute ready now" He said as he crouched beside his ex-classmate.

"What are you doing?" I asked. I was already 99% sure of the answer but was praying that he'd give me a different one.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm taking a selfie with the guy. Everyone loves an RIP post" He said before widely grinning next to Angelo Kingston who simply stared straight ahead.

"Are you nuts!?" Aaron yelled as the camera flash blinded us all. I knew he was dead but I was still surprised that Angelo didn't blink.

"What?" Tom shrugged as he got back up to full height. "This'll be my most liked post on Instagram ever" He began clicking around on his phone.

"You can't upload that to Instagram!" I gasped in horror.

"Why not?"

"Because he's dead!" Me and Aaron shouted together.

"Guys relax" Tom tried to calm us. "It's simple. Everyone's gonna be sharing their good memories of him so now I can too"

"You're good memory of this guy is that he's dead!?" I couldn't believe what I was witnessing.

"No you idiot. I'm just going to use it as a Throwback Thursday and no one will know the difference" He was genuinely proud of himself.

"I need to get out of here" Aaron shook his head before leaving the room. A second later I joined him, fearing what diabolical act Tom was going to do next.

In fairness to Tom though, he was right about it being his most liked post ever. 35 likes. Congrats partner.