Deadpool's Point Of View

I studied the unconscious fe/male for a mere moment. S/he seemed to be breathing..........at least.

Maybe we should take advantage of this!

No! Focus on the mission!

Later?

Later!

Yeah!

I turned to face the desk of where the old lady had hid herself. I approached the desk and knocked on it once, twice, fuck it! The lady peeked her head out from underneath the desk. "Wh-Wh-What w-w-w-w-would-would you like-like?" The old lady asked. "Huh, demanding much from little ol' me!" I responded. I propped two elbows on top of the desk, placing my head in my palms. "Have you seen this wo/man?" I asked, taking out the paper with the drawing of the fe/male. "I got intell of her/him currently working here. Am I wrong?" I explained simply to the old lady. "Why! I-I-I-I-I-I'm pretty sure-sure no one like this exists!" The old lady responded. I frowned underneath my mask. "Goddamn it." I muttered.

Here we go again........

Ugh!

"Thank you for your time." I stepped back then bowed. "Oh! By the way! I have a little present for y'all!" I exclaimed as I felt around on my tool belt for the grenade. "Ah! Here we go!" I pulled out a small grenade with the pin still in.

Badda bing! Badda boom!

I saw the fe/male's unconscious body out of the corner of my eye.

Wait! S/he looks familiar!

I walked over to the fe/male's unconscious body and dragged her/him to the doorway. I took out the pin in the grenade and tossed it to the center of the room as it rolled near a door which lead to a flight of stairs. I then picked up the fe/male's body and dashed on out of there.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

This calls for a celebration!

Who wants to wine and dine?

And let's get the dessert ready! Mmmmmmmmmm!

I saw my apartment right up ahead of us and picked up my speed. Then, I heard a loud boom behind me. I halted and turned around to see the building all up in flames.

Now that's! How you make an entrance!

Maybe next time be less destructive.

Awwwwwwwwwww! But where's the fun in that?

Eh............I'm hungry!

Aren't we always?

Yummity, yummity, yummity, yummity!

I noticed something move out of the corner of my eye. I looked down to see that the fe/male had finally awoken from her/his slumber. The fe/male and I just locked eyes for a while. The fe/male then let out a scream. "Ah! Oh God! Let go of me! Ah! Back off! Please! Ewwwww! Oh God! Oh good God! I have sinned! Get the hell away from me!" The fe/male flailed his/her arms around and punched me in the face, causing me to drop the poor fe/male. Then, s/he began to threaten me with such things as calling the police and pepper spraying me.

S/he obviously doesn't know how we roll.

Mmm hmm.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" The fe/male screamed at me. I put my hands on my hips. "Would you like to know why I spared you?" I asked then flicked the fe/male on the nose. S/he covered her/his nose with her/his hands. "W-W-W-Why-Why?" The terrified fe/male stuttered.

Well.....me and you are getting fucked tonight.

"Just you wait Wade!" A female voice chirped. I turned around to see the same red head. "Oopies! I-I think I might have interrupted something..........erm.......special!" The red head then began to twirl her hair with a finger as a grin spread across her lips. "You be good now..." She then giggled as she backed away into the shadows of the alley way.

Wait babe! I never caught your name!

All's well that ends well.

I turned back to the fe/male who had begun to tip toe away quietly. Fortunately for me, I grabbed her/his arm and yanked him/her toward me, causing her/him to ram into me.

Ohhhh..........kinky!

I think he's making a boner.

I'm touching myself tonight.

I looked down at her/his face as it became red.

Probably because our sexiness. Wink, wink!

You are disgusting...........unfortunately I'm part of this party.

"Well c'mon hot shot!" I exclaimed as I put an arm around the fe/male's neck, pulling him/her close to me.

I think you're suffocating the poor fe/male.

Eh............let's get down and dirty baby!

But! Not here! Oh no, oh no, no, no, no!

I walked down the sidewalk with my arm tight around the fe/male's neck. S/he struggled to break free from me. Foruantely, it didn't work! "Please! Please! Let-Let-Let me go-go! I-I-I-I-I wanna go-go home!" I could feel the tears drip onto and into my suit. Honestly, I felt bad. Poor whatever his/her name is.

We shouldn't....

Awwwwwwwwwww!

Child, would you like to be accused of rape along with all those murder charges?

Well.......when you put it that way....god have we sinned!

I looked down at the fe/male whose e/c eyes had become blood shot.

Holy cow!

I jumped back, releasing the fe/male from my grasp. The fe/male then took this chance to run off. Disappointed, I decided to head back home with no catch.

Next time, be a lot more gentle!

Noooooooooooooo! That beautiful ass!

When I arrived back to my apartment, I paced around the living room with so many thoughts swirling around in my head.

Do I really need to protect her/him?

It's odd really!

I wanna cuddle with the fe/male.

Who would think? That we! We! We would find another love like........like this?!

Awkward...

I couldn't help but think.

Pew!

I decided to take a walk outside so I walked on over to the door. I opened it and the destruction immendiatly caught my eye. I put walked on over to the railing, propping my elbows onto the railing.